[PRP] Gourmand (Jordan, Lysander)

[Baneful]

Lysander listened intently to what Jordan had to say with a look of concern. If it had happened before, what was really stopping it from happening again? He didn't want to lose Roswell, nor for that matter did he want any harm to come to Merric.

"Yeah, I remember people mentioning something about that on twitter, drawn to bloodlines. That's pretty messed up." But still it was hard to swallow the thought that he'd never get to see her again, that she'd graduate and move on with her life without him. What would she think of him? Would she think he abandoned her? That he didn't care? It would be so easy to think it given the circumstances and it wounded him deeply to think it was all his own fault.

He nodded. "I was I guess, I mean, my family owned a big pharmaceutical company, one of those names few people have heard of but which really messes with their lives. I'm in Life division, so is Roswell. I don't even think I'd be much good at paperwork anyway, even if they let me do it." and there was an air of anxiety to what he said. "I'm not very good at it in general. I was only ever any good at horseriding and things in that vein. Maybe menial work will be all I'll ever be good for honestly."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"There've been people who tested the idea. It doesn't end well. I check my family's pages through the internet sometimes, from anonymous locations from a safe distance." He looked off into the distance for a moment. "I wish I could let them know I'm alive, but there would be too many questions that I couldn't answer, and they might try to look for me. If they didn't just write it off as some kind of horrible prank by a stranger, that is."

He tilted his head a little, hearing the edge of anxiety in Lysander's voice. Maybe part of the man's attitude and bluster came from feeling lost in this new life. "If you're good at working with animals, you could study minipets, maybe," he suggested. "I'm sure you'll find something you're good at."  

[Baneful]

It sounded grim, to only be able to anonymously keep up with the lives of their former loved ones. The idea of Sandra finding someone new, some new father who would care for Odette until she forgot all about him made panic rise in his chest in a mad flutter. It had been a fear before, but at least before he'd felt like he could have made a difference, now he couldn't change anything, he was trapped behind glass for the rest of his life. It hurt more than he could express.

Like everything else in his life he tried to file the fear away on a shelf, to control and restrict it as best he could.

"Those are very small creatures." he said. "The animals I love are big." And the hole left by the loss of his horses was maybe bigger than the one left by his family, the thought that he'd never get to hug a warm face or brush a dusty and friendly flank ever again too large a catastrophe to even take as reality.

"I hope I find something." he said. "I never really found anything before here either."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"Hm. In Halloween itself there are some larger ones, of a size that can be ridden. I don't know much about them, though," Jordan said, his tone slightly apologetic. Their line of work didn't have much to offer in the way of larger creatures, at least not of the friendly sort. He thought of suggesting that Lys could go riding on leave, but Lys wasn't getting leave for some time, and that suggestion would just point up the lack.

"Maybe you'll surprise yourself." He gestured with the coffee mug. "I'd never fought before they put me into the combat division, but turns out I'm pretty good at that."  

[Baneful]

This seemed to at least soothe Lysander a little bit, maybe there were big Halloween creatures that he could substitute to fill the void. It never actually would though, horses were something completely unique and irreplaceable. "It's a start at least." he said.

"I dunno if I'm capable of surprising anyone." he said with a sigh. "I don't like fighting much, I tried it and I just really hate getting hurt, its awful. The hitting part is ok but no way can I handle the backlash. I'd prefer a nice safe desk job or yeah, something looking after animals."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"Unfortunately, there's no avoiding all missions, so it's better to keep up some training at least," Jordan advised. "But you could probably get yourself into a desk job with some work. The organization needs that as much as they need the fighters. There's always something."

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

Lysander looked concerned about the fact it wouldn't be possible to miss every mission, but it was true, he hadn't really managed it till now so it was only reasonable he wouldn't be able to manage it going forward.

"Desk job sounds ideal." he said. "I'm just not cut out for violence"

He didn't add that he wasn't actually much cut out for desk work either, he was pretty useless for most things.

"Is there a way to train without getting bashed up?"

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"You can develop an exercise routine and train on the practice dummies, but it's really better to spar from time to time. The dummies don't really help you learn the give and take of combat. A live opponent will give you better practice at hitting a moving target, anyway." Jordan gave Lys a thoughtful look. "You get used to it over time," he said. "If you want to spar sometime, you can give me a call, I'm usually up for it as long as I'm not doing something else."

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

Lysander didn't look too convinced by this. "I don't think I'll ever get used to being hurt." he said, and honestly wasn't sure he wanted to live in a world where you had to. Somehow it was different when it was people hitting other people versus being kicked, stomped, bitten and trampled by horses.

"I'll practice on the dummies though, and I guess exercise is a thing that could happen." Though with his level of laziness and the lack of horses on the island, it was anyone's guess if he could be trusted to keep it up.

"Definitely keeping my gaze set on a desk job."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

Jordan shrugged one shoulder and let the topic of getting used to pain slide. It would happen, if Lysander did any kind of regular sparring or went on missions in which fighting was involved. The pain of being hit with a shield up had long since stopped being meaningful to Jordan. When pain wasn't automatically linked with injury, it became much less important.

"Get your assistant to put it on your schedule," he suggested, with a quirk of a smile. "If that would help."  

[Baneful]

"Augh, him nagging me to do excercise. I guess it would work. I guess." he didn't look too enthused in general."But yeah, I suppose you either go with the flow of things here or you get ostracised and/or killed. It's pretty hard to deal with."

He tensed his hands into fists breifly. "I'm really used to having people listen to me and not really so much the other way around. It's a shock to the system."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"It's a small island," Jordan said seriously. "Everyone's in everyone else's business, and the higher-ups have a lot of control over our lives. You have to do a certain amount of compromising to stay afloat, and it's hard to change your image if you let it get too deeply entrenched." It was a warning of sorts. Jordan wasn't willing to say that he liked Lysander, but he wasn't quite willing to say that he disliked him yet, either. The man seemed to be from a very, very different background, and he was having difficulty adjusting to the realities of life here and to being stuck here. The sooner he could adapt, the better, but Jordan wasn't sure that it would be soon.

"Mm. I can imagine," he said, neither sympathetic nor judgmental.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

"Seems that way for sure. Guess kissing up is in order, or at least not pissing anyone off too much. Need an easy life. It's hard though, I mean I'm used to people able to give and take some knocks, people who agree, people who are ...more like me I suppose." He didn't speak poor people and for a lot of the people he'd spoken to, he'd felt like an outsider, unable to relate to the things they spoke about.

"I don't want to be that guy people hate."

Prolixity

 

[prolixity]

"Being that guy would definitely make your life harder," Jordan agreed. Lys had gotten off on the wrong foot on Twitter, tone-deaf to his own arrogance and privileged background. "I guess you're more used to being the guy people don't want to piss off with an opposing opinion."

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

Lysander nodded intently. "I don't want to be that guy." he said. "And yeah, I guess. I mean I didn't notice it, I just thought I had a lot of good ideas, but it seems like people were just agreeing with me because I was their boss."

He sighed. "It's kind of hard to take, the thought that no one was telling you the truth because you had money."

Prolixity