[PRP] Operation Jingle Justice (Lutrin + Engrav)

[Buzzwulf]

How can we mathematically get the most booty for our beetles?  

[Buzzwulf]

"Alright, agent Spongy Bungee". Engrav said, looking up at the excitable yellowblood on the shelves. "We're just here to loot."

He looked down at the clipboard again, running through his calculations. Engrav had been spending time surveying the entrances to each store, and he'd come to some conclusions. First of all, the each present repository was a deathtrap. He had counted the minutes since trolls had entered each store and been carted off in critical condition. Helega's Tuber Shack had been the clear winner, with trolls spending close to twice as long inside before being removed in traction. Then, he'd counted carefully the number of presents each troll had been removed with.

"So, with a present-to-time ratio of 1.052 presents per minute spent inside, Helega's Tuber shack is the clear winner in pure volume, agent. Good to have you on my side. Now get looting!"

He turned to an isle of spud-shaped boots and immediately started grabbing, trying to dodge the irritated hisses of other trolls.

Quote:

HP 37/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 1 medium

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:
Medium: 1
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 39
Small Presents: 3 (HTS)

At the sound of her name, Lutrin hopped down from her perch to drop beside her fellow agent. A large assortment of tumbled down behind her in a domino effect all along the top shelf. Potatoes bounced and rolled across the floor in a grand tidal wave. Lutrin whipped her hand up to her forehead in a smart salute, heedless. “You got it! You can count on me Mister Snatch!” she crowed.

He dismissed her and she went bounding down the aisles, loot sack in hand.

Buzzwolf

[ Lutrin gets 3 small presents. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Engrav watched his agent scuttle off into the depths of the store. Then he pulled his hand-radio from his pants, and shouted "OPERATION GO!" into it loud enough to make some other trolls nearby look at him strangely. He'd slipped another radio into Lutrin's bag while she wasn't paying attention (which was pretty much all the time).

"And no," he said into the microphone. "I can't hear you unless you actually talk into the machine and press the little button on the side."

Yup. Everyone was still staring at him like a madman. He grabbed a couple shot glasses off a rack, stuffed them in his bag and scampered off before anyone could stop him.

Quote:

HP 35/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 2 small

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:2
Medium: 1
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 37
Small Presents: 5 (HTS)

Wading through the potato pond, Lutrin scooped up a few of the larger tubers and stuffed them into her bag. All of a sudden, one spoke out with great command from within the sack. Lutrin gave out a shriek and threw the bag across the aisle. “MERRY s**t BISCUITS—THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED.”

Or not. A moment later she recognised Engrav's voice, and she tiptoed towards the discarded sack. When no evil spirits came out to attack her, she became emboldened. She jumped on it with a squeal and retrieved a radio.

“Hi, Mister Snatch!” she greeted, into the mic. The sound of her voice was followed by heavy breathing.

Buzzwolf

[ Lutrin gets 2 small presents. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Engrav had found a quiet, dark corner where no one had noticed him yet. He spent some time shoving various root vegetables into his sack, glancing around himself warily. Eventually he ran out of root veggies, and some troll rounded the far corner.

Engrav whipped out his hand radio. "I'VE BEEN COMPROMISED!" he yelled, jumping into a barrel of potatoes and rolling swiftly away down an isle, making trolls jumping out of the way.

Quote:

HP 33/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 2 small

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:4
Medium: 1
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 35
Small Presents: 5 (HTS)

Unfortunately, Engrav's shout of alarm went unnoticed. Lutrin had been hypnotised by a shelf occupied by a full set of dancing vegetables. Her eyes opened wide, pupils dilated and shining. She felt... blinded. Blinded by pure rooty, leafy magnificence. She had found the Mirthful Messiahs. Collapsing on the floor, Lutrin broke down sobbing.

[ Lutrin gets 3 small presents. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Engrav stood dizzily, only falling down twice. Whelp. Where had all his potatoes gone? He guessed it didn't matter.

"I think I've escaped, Agent. Continue your mission." He said drunkenly into the radio mouthpiece. He grabbed a weird doll thing off a shelf as he staggered down another isle of veggie paraphernalia, and barely even collapsed into a pile.

Quote:

HP 31/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 1 small

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:5
Medium: 1
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 32
Small Presents: 5 (HTS)
Medium Presents: 1 (HTS)

Upon hearing Engrav's voice again, Lutrin picked herself up off the floor. Her moment of blissful enlightenment had passed. She wiped the tears and snot from her face and dug around for her radio.

“Er... Aye-aye, sir!” she replied into the microphone. “You're a master of escape!” Maybe he would not notice that she had not paid him any attention...

[ Lutrin gets 1 medium present. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Ow. Engrav sat up from his pile, feeling a lot less dizzy. He thought someone had stepped on his head. This shopping thing was dangerous!

Actually, someone had left a slipper on his head. Yup, there had definitely been stepping. He shrugged and tossed it into his booty sack. Maybe there was only one of the pair, but it was still delicious booty.

"Agent! Report!" he yelled into his radio, going off to look for more loot.

Quote:

HP 30/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 1 medium

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:5
Medium: 2
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 32
Small Presents: 5 (HTS)
Medium Presents: 1 (HTS)

Lutrin was sitting on the floor with a collection of facial parts spread out before her when she heard Engrav through the radio again. More precisely, she heard him through the radio, through the tuber. She had stuffed it inside the tuber, for some... nefarious... genius... purpose.

[ Lutrin loses one radio. ]

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 30
Small Presents: 8 (HTS)
Medium Presents: 1 (HTS)

Lutrin dug her fingers around inside the tuber. She had popped the radio in easily, but getting it back out was proving to be an exercise in patience and dexterity. At last her fingertips found the antennae. Clamping hard around the device, she began to pull. Just when she thought she had it, her grip slipped, and the radio slipped back inside.

Giving up, Lutrin pressed the button to activate the microphone within the tuber. “Lots of veggies to report, Mister Snatch! They are dancing as we speak!”

[ Lutrin gets 3 small presents. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Engrav lifted a box from the excited arms of a tiny redblood, pretending she didn't exist. He tossed it into his sack and booked it down the aisle, ignoring her wails of protest.

"The locals are beginning to get antsy" he yelled into his microphone at his agent. "Prepare an exit strategy if you haven't already. This could get ugly!"

Shopping was exhausting.

Quote:

HP 27/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 1 medium

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:5
Medium: 3
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet

 

[Green Minuet]

ツ Lutrin Weesil

Health: 29
Small Presents: 11 (HTS)
Medium Presents: 1 (HTS)

“NO!!” Lutrin shrieked into the potadio. Several trolls near her lurched in surprise, and one even flinched away. She tried again.

“I mean, we can't do that, Mister Snatch!” she said, using her indoors voice. It still carried an edge of panic. “If we back out now, we'll be leaving our mission unfinished. Think of all those tubers that won't have any homes. We've got to save them. WE'VE GOT TO.”

[ Lutrin gets 3 small presents. ]

 

[Buzzwulf]

Engrav rounded a corner and got a little porcelain figurine right in the face for his trouble. Some troll was throwing loot at him! He ducked behind the rickety metal shelf, another statuette pinging off shelf right next to his eye.

"I'm pinned down! Enemy fire!" he yelled into the microphone, scooping up a few more figurines from the ground to use as covering fire.

Quote:

HP 25/40

SHOPPING AT: Helega's Tuber Shack
PRESENTS EARNED: 3 small

PRESENTS TOTAL:
Small:8
Medium: 1
Large:
Huge:

Green Minuet