[BATT] Execute Strategy: Holiday Hijinks (Tete & Aprife) [F]

[saedusk]

It's time for Jingle Hell

 

[saedusk]

"This is the plan," Aprife told Muerte matter-of-factly without checking to make sure he was even listening first. His nose was too buried in a map of his own design for that. "We start at the Military Surplus Outlet," as he spoke, he gestured, "We work our way down. Whether or not any of the other stores besides the Megacomplex are actually worth our time is debatable, but it's better to keep our options open. I gathered intel on all of them."

On closer inspection, the small map was meticulous, marked with every aisle and every exit, emergency or otherwise. Notes were scribbled here and there with the best potential locations for big sale displays. Aprife had apparently spared little expense in creating these guides for each shop. Why he didn't simply buy everything they needed when he'd been here those few weeks earlier was a question for another time.

"Are you ready? Looks like it's gonna be pretty crowded." As he finally looked at Muerte, Aprife took a quick moment to adjust the greenblood's hat. "You didn't actually have to come, y'know?"

Melancholiessss

 

[Melancholies]

It was cold. Really cold. Very cold. Much colder than it had been in the muggy swamp (though that was still cold, but humid. Humid cold. It ******** sucked). Point was, it didn't matter how many layers Muerte wore, because he was still chilly; the dilemma was wearing a million jackets and looking like a tool, or dressing light and at least presenting like an ordinary member of society.

So naturally he went with the latter, because he'd be cold anyway, and if his calculations were correct—then there would be a large mass of trolls inside of very tight conditions, and that meant an unfortunate (perhaps fortunate) bask of warmth for him to indulge in.

His thoughts were rambling, and he was snapped out of it when Aprife adjusted the knitted beanie on top of his head. He huffed. "Oh please. My presence is vital for this mission." the greenblood huffed, obviously more than pleased to be there. Obviously.

"Besides—by combining our efforts, we'll come out much more productive." he laced his fingers together, looking up at Aprife with a devious intent. Somehow it didn't really work that well with a patch over his robotic eye. "I'll use my keen senses to pick out the necessities, and then you can carry them."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

Quote:

You find a lone game grub sitting on a shelf, attached to a tag that says 'SGRUB X-Treem Solitaire'.

Knowing it wouldn't do much more than irritate, Aprife neglected to mention how light Muerte's clothing was. Didn't stop him from assuring the hat was pulled down far enough to be of some use, though. Once they got inside it would be fine. Or at least as fine as throngs of pushy, shovey, violent trolls could be. It would be warm, at least, if not a bit stuffy.

"Never said it would be easy without you," he assured as he led them inside, map held protectively close lest it wind up destroyed. Even getting through the front door was difficult. "But I guess I'll be the pack mule." And the defense, he thought to himself as he shoved a large, overly rambunctious troll away so they wouldn't crush the tiny doctor.

"Man, they really cleaned out this shelf, must be something good. Then again, it is the front of the store..." Aprife picked the game up before quickly checking his map again. He didn't even bother looking at what he'd grabbed.

--

HP: 36/40

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 1 Medium

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 0 Small, 1 Medium, 0 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 0 Small, 1 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
 

[Melancholies]

Quote:

You find two stylish little white leather wallets, with polished metal clasps.

Muerte puffed up at what he perceived to be a compliment, because he really was useful, wasn't he? And Aprife was being so compliant; he didn't even notice the larger troll thanks to Aprife's impressive use of aggressive strength. See, this is why he was the pack mule, because he had overwhelming aptitude.

"Let me see that..." he snatched the object out of Aprife's hand before a response could hit his ears, looking over the object carefully. "X-....treem solitaire? Invasi, what the hell are we going to use this for?" he shook the game at the taller troll threateningly before shoving it back into his hands. Seems like the sudden rush of warmth from all the bodies had rejuvenated his sass.

He had to find something better.

Honestly, the wallets he found weren't really what he was looking for, but they were cool and they were new and most importantly— "Now this," he held the object up to Aprife's face, "This is practical." Yes, he seemed rightly proud of himself.

"Here, I grabbed you one so you wouldn't feel left out." despite this, he gave them both to Aprife to hold. "You can thank me later.


HP: 18/20

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 2 small

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 2 Small, 1 Medium, 0 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 2 Small, 1 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge  

[saedusk]

Quote:

This antique Tiffny lamp was high up on a shelf, and only you spotted it. Good shopping!

"Hey, he retorted as he took the game back, "Solitaire is a great game for honing mental sharpness. Someone in the swamp could use something like this and you know it." Okay, so it hadn't actually been the best grab, but ******** if Aprife was going to let Muerte win without a touch of pushback.

At the end of the aisle, after commandeering an 'abandoned' cart for his own use and chucking X-Treem Solitaire into the basket, Aprife turned and found himself face-to-face with a wallet. A pretty decent looking wallet, actually. His nose scrunched slightly. It was leather, at least.

"Man, you really shouldn't have," he assured as he took one—no wait, both—of the wallets and quickly deposited them in the cart. "I'll try to remember to thank you later." Continuing around to the next aisle, he happened to look up in time to spot a fancy looking lamp. Was that an antique? "What the heck is that doing in a store like this?" he mused as he threw a thumb up at the lamp.

--

HP: 31/40

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 1 Large

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 2 Small, 1 Medium, 1 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 2 Small, 1 Medium, 1 Large, 0 Huge
 

[Melancholies]

"Yes well..." Aprife was right. There was a sore lacking of mental literacy in the swamp, but then again, that was only if you asked Muerte Perist. Either way, it could be a fun way to pass the time maybe, or...

"Wait, solitare is based partially on luck! It's worthless!" he threw his arms into the air, snorting loudly through his nose "Whatever. It's your money." which definitely did imply that Aprife would be footing the bill for all of this.

When the lamp was pointed out, he knew immediately that they had a spot in their hive with its name on it. "Who cares!" it sounded more like a dramatic question, as if what Aprife had just said was absolutely asinine; never mind the fact that Muerte was climbing into the shopping cart as he said this. "I want it, Invasi. Grab it down for me."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"My money, yeah yeah, I know," There hadn't been a doubt in Aprife's mind he'd be the one paying for all of this. He had the personal funds for it, that wasn't exactly an issue, and Muerte was predictable (even if he actually wasn't in most cases). "So try to pick out s**t that's worth i- Whoa, wait a second, Muerte-"

Hand at the greenblood's shoulder, he huffed, "The ********, man, get out of the cart before you fall. If you want it that badly, just wait for me to get it."

He sounded even more exasperated as someone bumped into him roughly from behind. Muerte got his wish, though. The lamp ended up in the cart next to the game and the wallets.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Quote:

You find three nice polished corkscrew/grenade disarmer/toothbrush combination devices. How handy.

"You can't control my life!" he hissed right back, scrambling when Aprife put his hand on his shoulder to yank him back down. At least he retrieved the lamp shortly there after. This placated the greenblood immensely.

At least, until he noticed an array of shiny objects on another shelf. Finding it might just be better to stay on foot thanks to the mobility (because he knew Aprife wouldn't push him where he wanted to go, just knew it), he eagerly scooped up a handful of... something? Somethings? "I don't even know what this is." but it sure didn't stop him from grabbing another. And then another. Okay maybe he didn't need that much.

He still dropped three of them into the cart.

"It has a toothbrush built in for God's sake, Invasi." he looked so smug, "It's revolutionary."

The comeuppance and joy didn't last long though, because some rambunctious highblood saw it fit to barrel into him without any sort of apology, melding back into the crowd as quickly as they had come. It had already happened to Aprife once or twice; it was only a matter of time before fate saw it fit to clobber the greenblood into his own shopping cart. He wheezed dramatically.


HP: 15/20

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 3 small

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 5 Small, 1 Medium, 1 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 5 Small, 1 Medium, 1 Large, 0 Huge  

[saedusk]

Quote:

You somehow manage to find yourself dragging a portable recuperacoon down to the front of the store.

"I'm not trying to," he hissed, though his expression had smoothed over considerably since Muerte clambered back out of the shopping cart. Aprife might not have been trying to control his life, but he was trying to make sure it didn't end prematurely, at least. Was that so bad? It must not have been; Muerte moved on to the next thing so fast it gave Aprife whiplash.

"Okay, seriously though, what even is that?" Reaching into the cart, he picked up one of the devices just as it was explained to him (partially). Something about toothbrushes... A corkscrew/grenade disarmer/toothbrush combination, he discovered, packaged in a small cardboard sleeve that advertised its many uses like it was going out of style. Needless to say, though Aprife found himself thinking a grenade disarmer might actually be helpful, he didn't see fit to respond to how revolutionary the damn thing supposedly was.

Tossing it back with the rest, he was jostled as a highblood crashed into Muerte, shoving him against the cart. It made Aprife's chest squeeze, then it made his brow furrow at the totally uncalled for emotional disturbance. The good doctor was fine, totally fine. But just in case he wasn't, Aprife dragged a portable recuperacoon away from its display.

Never hurt to be prepared, right?

--

HP: 26/40

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 1 Large

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 5 Small, 1 Medium, 2 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 5 Small, 1 Medium, 2 Large, 0 Huge
 

[Melancholies]

Quote:

You fish out three sets of woofbeast tags. They haven't been engraved, and are still new and sparkly.

Muerte would have responded, but he was too busy keeling over the side of the cart. At least Aprife had finally grabbed something useful, and that did well to improve his mood a little bit. There were still copious amounts of things to grab, after all.

Such as these woofbeast tags, and because Muerte couldn't grab a single pair he grabbed three instead. "It always is a good idea to have a method for corpse identification." he told Aprife smoothly, jingling the tags at the yellowblood. He stopped. He jingled them again. He stopped. It went like this for about fifteen seconds before he put them in the cart.

They fell through the grated surface. He clicked his tongue, picked them up, tried again. They fell. There was something poetic about the struggle trollkind here as Muerte attempted it a third time with the same results.

"Oh for <********> sake." he balled the tags up in his hand instead, so tight that his knuckles looked bloodless. Or well, they would had he not been wearing gloves. "The things I do for you, Invasi." he shook his head as he rose back up again, only to be shoved by another troll who mistook Muerte's interest in the ground for a possible outlet for different merchandise.

He oomfed against Aprife, looking less than thrilled with the crowd, sighing with his resolve as he shouldered the weight of Alternia on his shoulders. This had seemed like a good idea at first, but now it was just exhausting.

"I don't... want to be here anymore." he whined.



HP: 11/20

Shopping at: Military Surplus Outlet
Present(s) Obtained: 3 small

Totals:
Helega's Tuber Shack: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Military Surplus Outlet: 8 Small, 1 Medium, 2 Large
Giggle's Mirthland: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large
Dry and Wet Goods Megacomplex: 0 Small, 0 Medium, 0 Large, 0 Huge
All: 8 Small, 1 Medium, 2 Large, 0 Huge  

[saedusk]

Watching Muerte attempt to put the tags in the cart was like watching a train wreck into another train, reverse, and do it all over again. As much as he wanted to speak up, he knew better, biting his tongue and biding his time until the realization of futility finally dawned on his exasperated companion.

"I appreciate it..." Aprife muttered, having fully expected to be saddled with the responsibility of carrying the woofbeast tags—whose actual usefulness he found somewhat dubious. It wouldn't have been a huge burden. Likewise, it was still no skin off his nose when Muerte chose to hang onto them himself. The greenblood was a prideful one.

Or he was in most cases. Something about it was almost bittersweet. Muerte didn't completely shut himself away from Aprife anymore, even if his expressions were often limited to whining and complaining. Though it would've annoyed Aprife were it anyone else, he found he didn't mind that much. Honestly, that was strange, too. Realizing he gave the greenblood so much leeway where he wouldn't have given it to anyone else.

"Alright, he agreed, lightly tugging Muerte closer and turning away from the bustle of the crowd. "We got a good haul. Let's check out and try the Megacomplex." He'd wait until they were outside to try and check his map.

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Prideful, yeah, not really much else; but Aprife was at least right about that. Muerte never had anyone to confide into, and he never really wanted that, and even though he sort of had that he still didn't... use it that often, because why would he? He didn't need that sort of mess in his life. He didn't need friends or compatriots.

Except he let the yellowblood tug him away from the crowd, not minding the added protection of someone much bigger that he was. "It'll be just as crowded..." he said with a little huff, but was willing enough to go along with him regardless.

At least, until the gauntlet wait of the checkout lines ended with a blast of cold air onto his face again. He tugged his hat down miserably.

"Your hands are full." he explained this to Aprife as if he wasn't already aware, "Where's the map? I'll grab it." was this his way of trying to be helpful? Either way, he was fishing all over Aprife's person for the piece of paper.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"You're right," was Aprife's simple answer as he stood behind their cart and waited, diligently guarding it from any would-be thieves in line. He didn't fully trust half the trolls in the Initiative, let alone the strangers going 12th Perigee's Eve shopping. Trolls, more like vultures.

Intent, uncharacteristically unfriendly stare on, he kept his eyes glued on the prize, on the prize, on the... Aprife looked down. Not only was Muerte touching him—nearly groping him—he was doing so literally everywhere he could manage to fit his grubby paws. The yellowblood's expression softened and then twisted into something quizzical. "It's... in my pocket," he replied. The obvious answer, really. "The right one. Shoved it in there when I grabbed the recuperacoon."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Oh," Muerte seemed 100% unaware of what he was doing, and continued to stay just as unaware as he slipped his hand into the pocket, retrieving the map, "The... pocket. A likely spot..." it could have been so easily ruined, or stolen, or something; unless that was part of Aprife's plan too? To hide in plain sight? Clever man.

Trying his best not to shiver too hard in the winter air, he looked over the detailed notes and precisely drawn scribbles. Yes, it had seemed the yellowblood had already preemptively marked down the path to their next destination. He looked to Aprife and then to the map and then did a double-take back to Aprife again before scurrying in front of him, holding the map open and up to his face for easy viewing.

"If we hurry, we might catch some "deals"." he said very seriously.

saedusk