[PRP] Soothing Dreams (Nevin & Trucio Benevolentia)

[Summer Raaven]

This is a private RP between XxXPandamoniumXxX, and Summer Raaven.
Do not post without our permission.

Teepee's: XxXPandamoniumXxX | Summer Raaven

 

[Summer Raaven]

"Mama!"

Laughter. It's an unusual sound if you listen closely enough. It's as if someone has taken all of the happiness from within their soul and yelled it out, bellowing in a mix between a psychotic babble and a sing-song hum. And yet, it remained simple the most gorgeous sound known to all that lived. It rang into the sky as the young mare stared onward, watching the foals as they played. "Mama," they cried again, the joyous behavior echoing through the trees. She was happy, and she felt it radiate throughout her entire body. The feeling was strange, and she couldn't quite tell how or why she was happy, but she was. And then, a thought occurred to her - to whom did these foals belong? As if on cue, one of the little ones scampered his way up to her hooves and stared up at her, beaming with all the love in the world. "Mama," the voice said again, and Trucio realized the young one was talking to her. "Hello sweetheart!" She giggled, nudging the foal back to it's siblings. Ah, yes - the happiness that enveloped her entire soul was the scene in front of her; her family - oh! But where was he?

There. It had taken a moment to spot him, but as soon as he came in to focus, everything was clear as the sky above their heads. His large frame towered over their small children, a stern (yet playful) look was placed upon his face as he looked down at them. They were playing - they were happy. This was, life. This was....perfection. Trucio smiled, responding to her mate and her beloved as he beckoned her to join them. She was happy.

Then the scene changed.

The mare found herself standing in a much, much darker-lit area - a cave, perhaps? The trickle of water droplets could be heard in the background, and the occasional bat flew past her head, indicating that it was indeed, a cave. "Momma," said the voice, although this time much, much deeper. She turned, and what she saw was a much older looking version of the foal she had played with only moments before. "He's gone, Momma...you've got to move on. Staying in this cave won't bring him back."

She had been crying, she noticed finally - but why? Her body had been filled with an unusual amount of happiness, and now she felt as if that happiness had been wiped clean. Despair was all that remained, and her mind struggled to understand the reason. And then, as her eyes burned with tears, she saw the look on her child's face as it stood before her, and knew. He was gone. Dead, most likely, judging from the way her heart felt as if it had been ripped to shreds.

No. No. No. This couldn't be right. She didn't sign up for this! Go - go back to the first scene - it was better! No! Trucio shook her head wildly, the tears still hot as they flowed down her face. Wake up, she told herself, wake up. You've got to be dreaming....
............

It was as if her heart had restarted, and the young mare jerked awake. Confusion had taken over as she struggled to regain recollection as to where she was. What had just happened - surely it was a dream, as the parts she could remember seemed impossible now. But how - where - who? Questions zoomed in and out of her head as her focus began to come back, and the presence of a body next to her own was clear to her.

Nevin.

Ah, yes. She had fallen asleep next to the kind stranger of the night before, and it now appeared to be morning - how long had she slept? Had he slept the whole time she did, or did he keep watch? Trucio glanced over at his face to check for any sign of alertness, but as far as she could tell, he was asleep. For all intents and purposes, she supposed that was a good thing, for now - no need to wake him up quite yet. She frowned, the memory of her dreams flooding back to her like waves crashing a sea wall. There had been things she had never felt before, that she still somewhat felt, but she couldn't quite remember just what they - !!

Oh! Trucio stood up, startled, first at herself and then at the body of the stallion below her. The stallion, the one in her dreams, it had been him - hadn't it? Nevin, the kind stranger who said he'd help her find her way back home. She had....dreamed about him in a way that well, one typically dreams about a loved one. They had, as she recalled, a family together, and they were happy.

As soon as the thought of happiness came to her mind, her body shook with it, the ghost of her dreams clearly still with her thoughts. Oh, she trembled at the feeling, reveling at the way it made her feel. Was that, true happiness? Could she be capable of....real, honest happiness? The memory of the foal came back to her, and she smiled, wanting to look down at the beautiful little face of her child once more....

But no! Oh, god, no! Trucio panicked, her mind flipping a switch, and just as quickly as the happy feeling came, it vanished. No - she couldn't possibly have that. No! Not with him, especially - she barely knew him! Oh! How could her dreams betray her like that? She'd never know real happiness; she'd never hear the laughter of a foal as it's playing with it's parents. Oh! Her breath began to quicken, and the mare found herself taking a few steps away from the body of her companion. A family! Psh! The demons within her brain tormented her, cackling at the happiness that once flowed in her bloodstream, and all she could do was think to run. A family! With him, of all things! Oh! She couldn't dare think of something so...unobtainable - it was pish-posh! It was ridiculous! She was not worthy. That happiness was only just a trick.

And she knew it, as the memory of the second scene flowed into her. She had lost him, apparently, to what or whom it didn't really matter. In her dreams she was standing in this very same cave, years from now, torn a part by the supposed death of Nevin. Ack! She needed to get out of this cave, now - to wipe away all trances of memory of the dream that now seemed to haunt her like a nightmare. Eyes darting from one side of the cave to the next, she tore out of it like a wild deer from chase.

Two sides of the spectrum - happiness and despair - and the one that seemed more likely was the latter. Surely she had been dreaming of someone else's future - not her own. The ghost of what could be, but will not. Her breath, still rapid from the panic attack, seemed to be slowing down as the light from the morning sun beat down on her. She had never dreamed like that before, and it frightened her. How could she...why would she...

It was only just a dream, she told herself finally.

XxXPandamoniumXxX

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Please feel free to bash me over the head with a baseball bat. I got inspired.

 

[Summer Raaven]

The panic that swelled within her had all but subsided by the time she noticed the alertness of her companion. She had been standing in an awkward position just outside of the cave, her mind racing as fast as the wind, and so to any other onlooker, she may have looked completely lost. The mare fixed her stance and glance back at Nevin, noting the softness in his voice. Perhaps - perhaps what she had dreamed wasn't so strange after all."Oh, I...well," Trucio paused, immediately telling her subconscious that the truth was a bad idea. Whatever had happened in whatever medium last night was not enough to blab about embarrassing what-ifs.

He'd never, ever be alright with a stranger (for what they were was not much more) dreaming about a future with him - would he? He'd find it creepy, unnatural. Weird. Just like she. Trucio frowned as the pair of them stared at each other, unsure of what the other was truly feeling. If she told him why she panicked, wouldn't he laugh at her - call her pathetic? Who dreams of someone they barely no? Ugh! She shook her head softly to herself, dismissing any urge to open up to Nevin.

However, he was the first stallion to stay. Wasn't that something...?

"...No. You did nothing wrong - I just had a...," the mare stammered, fumbling as she made her way closer to him. Technically this wouldn't be lying, if she only told him the half-truth. Some of the dream had been pleasant, albeit different, but the other part had been horrifying, and something she never wished on anyone - ever. "....bad dream," she finished quietly. It had been, after all. Trucio smiled up at Nevin as the sadness in his eyes went unnoticed by her.

"Yes, let's go! Although I...am not sure how long we'll be searching for," The tone in her voice had switched from panicked and soft, to warmer - and a little bit happy. She had a traveling companion, and he had agree to stay with her and help her - the realization of it all hitting her hard, so the least she could do was be friendly to him! Another smile graced her lips, her eyes gazing into the surrounding forest - whatever direction they'd take would be a complete toss-up, and well, an adventure...right? Trucio knew that her family dwelled not too far from her, since her travels didn't go on for days - but exactly where, was still questionable. "This might take us a while, I don't know how well your tracking skills really are, but mine are non-existent, as is my sense of direction..." a genuine laugh accompanied those words and she looked back at Nevin, suddenly very aware of the similarity between her own laughter and the laughter she heard in her dreams.

And she blushed a color that matched her coat (thankfully), her cheeks feeling extremely hot. How long could she travel with him, aware of something that he was not? Well - only one way to find out. The possibility of it all frightened her, but the reality of her current situation was stronger. She needed to get back home, and whether she wanted to admit it or not, she needed him! "Let's go left," she finally said, keeping her voice at a happy sing-song level, "we can always backtrack if I'm wrong."

Everything he thought, all the feelings he may or may not have expressed were not something that even dawned on her because the very thought of it was preposterous to her. Because of that, she was able to smile, and treat him like she would a friend - if she had any others, that was.

"So show me, Nevin. Show me those skills of yours."  

[Summer Raaven]

Green surrounded them in every corner of the forest, an endless sea of nature enveloped the entire area - from the ground to the sky - and looking around, there wasn't much to go on. How could she answer his question honestly, without seeming like a total buffoon? Trucio blinked, honestly, where were they...? "Erm, well...um, uh...honestly?"

This is embarrassing, this is embarrassing, this is embarrassing, she thought, digging her bone stricken hooves into the soft dirt below. It was quite apparent, growing up, that her sense of direction was never going to be a strong attribute, but this, oh, this was on a whole different level of bad. Eyes tore from one tree to the next, soaking in their surroundings as the panic, once again, rose within her body. She was an absolute terrible guide, mare....what have you! Even being a damsel in distress was something she clearly failed miserably at! Every tree she saw looked exactly the same as the one before it, and the one after it, and nothing seemed, or smelled, familiar. Could they be going the right way? Would she know it, if they weren't? A quick gaze up at the sky told her that they were heading east (or was it west? Or south? Which direction did the sun rise from again?), which meant this disastrous plan caused even further worry in her mind. If they were indeed going the wrong way, how would she get home? When Nevin left her, which he surely would, eventually, would she be able to make it back on her own? Oh goodness - no! Do not think that way, she mentally kicked herself. "None of this looks familiar....", she finally admitted, grinning up at him like a devious little child after the deed had been done. To anyone of sound mind, it would appear as if she tricked him, as if she had toyed with him, purposefully, to get him to come along....but it wasn't like that at all. Trucio was, genuinely lost.

"Oh dear...", another mumble, this time accompanied by a groan, then a soft giggle. The humor in the situation was not lost on the young mare, as the pair of them meandered through the forest, neither one of them really saying anything. It wasn't awkward - well, to her it wasn't - who knows what he was thinking - but it was rather, odd. It seemed almost, comfortable, just walking side by side, in mutual silence; as if this journey had a purpose. Although the panic that she felt had made a comfortable home within her mind & body, there was still a level of ease as they walked - and she didn't want to let it go - not yet. How long would this continue, before the inevitable 'good-bye' occurred? He'd say it, eventually, surely, most definitely - and she'd be left alone again.

Of course that wouldn't be his fault - or hers, for that matter. It was just the way the world worked. No one stuck around forever, save for family, and even then some of them were temporary.

"Um, I guess, well, um....I guess going rogue is the only option? Oh, I hope you don't mind...", Trucio fancied herself a decent reader of others, but with the situation at hand, and the stoic presence her journeying partner, she was utterly worthless. It was impossible to tell what Nevin was truly feeling at that moment, and for all she knew, he was frustrated with her lack of basic survivor skills. The mare felt the panic start to swell even deeper into her mind, as she didn't want to cause the poor stallion any sort of discomfort - any further than she already had, that is - so as they walked, her face gave way to her worry. Oh please, oh please don't be upset, her expression seemed to scream, as if she were a child.

But then, like a wave, the panic disappeared under the sea of joy she felt as he spoke those next few words - words that allowed her time to pause, regroup herself, and actually communicate like an average adult mare. Oh, what a relief! Trucio sighed, smiling as she looked up at him, preparing to give her answer, "I spend most of my time with my mother, and my twin sister - my brothers have since left the nest...but the three of us are close. What do we do? Uh, I suppose we just enjoy each other's company." That sounded so silly - so absolutely silly! She laughed at herself, a genuine laugh, shaking her head as she continued, "that sounded boring, let me rephrase; I don't have a lot of friends, and my mother's super shy, so I'm content just being around my home." Alright - better. At least it sounded like she had something to do. Trucio made a quick mental note to be more....appealing next time she ran into a stranger - it was probably better to answer those questions with a, 'I-go-exploring!' kind of enthusiasm.

A thought occurred to her as her mind traveled to the memory of her mother, and her family, and so desperately she wished to be closer to all of them - Nevin, did not. She remembered he specifically stated the very opposite. Taking the plunge into what was probably an inappropriate question, given their lack of....any relationship, she asked, "so, last night you said you avoided your family, can I ask why?" If you don't mind me asking, that is, she added silently to herself, keeping a warm expression on her face to invite him to answer - if he wanted to. She'd never force him, especially not with something so personal.

But, if it kept him talking, then it kept them together on this journey longer, and that was well, comforting.  

[Summer Raaven]

He sounded exasperated, didn't he? Oh! He was exasperated at her! Oh! Oh! The mare's mind raced, going to the worst possible place as they continued on their journey, her body suddenly very aware of the situation. Nevin was definitely, oh, definitely exasperated. At least that's what her mind told her, as she listened to him speak. He could very well have different thoughts flowing through his mind, but....no, no...he was annoyed, she was annoying! She had gotten them lost, and he wanted out. A frown, and it took all of Trucio's effort not to want to run and hide from him.

Hide from something good...why did she always do that? He could be an amazing friend but...oh, she had to go and ruin it, didn't she? So, with a rush of forced overconfidence, she beamed,"I don't really want to wander forever, either...", there, that should settle his mind. For now. Hopefully.

Oh dear. They were lost and he blamed her.

"Forever sounds kinda long," she added as an afterthought, barely more than a mumble. It did. Forever seemed rather unobtainable, and it held a lot of meaning. Nothing lasted forever, of course, but...for the rest of her days sounded as equally as scary. Could she wander, for the rest of her days?

Could she be with him, for the rest of her days?

Well, if she didn't ruin it, that is.

Oh dear...

"Yes! Stellis; and that's a shame, siblings should at least tolerate each other. But, I'm glad I have someone who....shares my sentiments? I don't care for a life of solitude, but, it's what I've been given, so I deal." She listened to his words before adding in her own thoughts, carefully paying attention to the stallion before her, in every way. He was....what was that word, an enigma? Similar to her own self, but, at the same time, vastly different. How could....how could one not be curious of their family members? Didn't he want to know where he came from?

Or maybe he did, and he didn't like it. She wouldn't press.

She was definitely the pot calling the kettle black, though, as she stood there and reflected on her own life before responding. Had she ever gone in search of her father, or her father's family? No -- she thought herself unworthy her whole life, so why now? What would make them like her now, if she didn't think they'd like her then? Maybe Nevin and her were more alike than she thought.

Solitude was comfortable; solitude was safe....didn't mean she liked it...

"To each their own, I'm not judging...I'm just sorry you feel that way...I wish it could have been different for you," she finally spoke, after a few moments of silence. His words deserved to be pondered, so she did. How terrible life was, throwing curveballs at creatures who were innocent in everything. The pair of them had their demons, however different, and it was heartbreaking. What did they do, to have a life full of loneliness and....despair? "Everyone deserves someone they can rely on......," another whisper, and a tear, shed for Nevin. Trucio turned her head so not to be seen by the stallion as they continued to walk, silently wishing she could tell him it was going to be okay. Whatever it was, it was going to be okay. "I always thought, because I never actually knew my father, that he left me and Stellis because we're....different? And that's probably true, but, I try not to let that consume me....," a lie; she knew deep down that was the reason and it tore her apart, but....he didn't need to know that.

Why could he tell her things, and she not him?

As he stopped at the stream, she took it upon herself to glance back and forth between the trees surrounding them, looking for something. This stream looked like the thousands of others in the forest, but....near it hung a hallowed out log that she....oh! There! She grinned, turning her head toward the stallion right as he looked into her eyes. She blushed, gasping at the overwhelming feeling that came over her. They were here - they were here, and yet, she suddenly wished they were anywhere but. Her home was close by, according to that log."Oh! I think we're going in the right direction -- see that log?" Trucio nodded toward it, sheepishly ignoring the fluttering in her heart as he spoke. "Unless there are tons like it, this is in the right area. It's still light outside, however, we don't have to go back yet," the last of her words trailed off, entering into a whisper as she tore her eyes to the ground.

So shy, so awkward, so...ugh! Embarrassing!

XxXPandamoniumXxX