[PRP] Alliance and Opposition (Calder/Zar)

[MoonKitsune]

The party was still going to the wee hours, but it had died down and Calder was beat. Tired and worn, he headed back to the wing their guest rooms were located. He lingered outside Barth's door, but decided that he probably was with Zar.

"Whatever." He said, turning and moving to his room and shutting the door. Moving over, he flopped over face down onto the bed and sighed.

Baneful

 

[Baneful]

Zar on the other hand, wasn't tired, he had rested throughout the day when he'd left the party (as often and for as long as he could manage) and was more energized than he had been when it seemed like he was trapped at the feast for ever. In fact, with a sizable meal in him he had more than the normal amount of energy. Deciding that he might as well go look for Calder after the abject betrayal earlier, he had left to go check the kelpie's room. There was simply no point leaving the hostility in the air and if he had to wheel out a bit of blatant manipulation to sort things out then frankly so be it.

Shoving the door he was glad to find it was indeed unlocked. He raised a brow. "Moping?" he asked.

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder was not as alert as he usually was and when the door opened, he didn’t move. If it was Barth, the demon would appreciate him not making any effort, but seeing as how much force was needed to make that door move, he guessed it was someone else.

When he heard Zar, his ears went back and he turned to his side with his back to him. "I'm tired from talking, Zar. Ya know, socializing. Enjoying a party. Enjoying anything." He said, and remained laying there.

"Did you have fun keeping your seat warm?"
 

[Baneful]

"Oh so you had fun then." he said. "I hadn't expected you to run off with the first pretty demon that smiled at you. I do so hope it was worth it." He closed the door behind him and leaned on it. "And no, I did not. I hate social events, I loathe socializing. I know what demons are like and every single one of them would have you in their servitude if they could manage it, even your new friend."

He gestured with a hand behind him in the direction of the dining room. "It is a tank full of sharks, every single one wanting to outwit and devour - sometimes literally - the others. I make one attempt to protect myself and collectively us. And you run off with the enemy."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder sat up and turned around. "Us? When was this US? Ever second I'm around you, it's just 'Oh, I'm only here because of my own reasons. You can Jack off. I hate you. You're annoy. Go away.'" Calder rose his hand to make bla-bla-bla motions with his hand and flopped his hands back down.

"And THAT wasn't the enemy. That was Barth's brother. You think you just KNOW everything, but guess what, this isn't the first time I've been around demons. You can get off your pillar. I may not be a demon, but I'm not an idiot! I'm a monster and my race has pride and a history that is just as important and complex as yours. I graduated just like you do. I completed school. I can go with who I want, especially when that person even wants my company around unlike YOU."

He flopped back down on his bed. "Last I checked, I don't have your mark on me. You can't boss me around. And even if I did have your mark, I doubt you'd even want me around. You'd be too disgusted."

Reaching out, he went for a pillow for his slowly throbbing head. "Is that all, Zar? I'd hate for you to bother with my company for too long. "  

[Baneful]

Zar immediately steeled himself for what was no doubt going to be an impossibly frustrating argument. He tried to find a zen spot in his mind, to take a slow deep breath and exhale. Neither of the gestures worked a great deal.

"Clearly you are not very observant, that much has been proven time and time again. You aren't capable of handling the fact that I might care about you but at the same time behave in a hostile fashion around other people towards you, especially when you tread dangerous ground." He raised a talon. "For instance, getting huggy in public is not acceptable, physical gestures are a statement of dominance. This much surely you must understand, one does not walk up to the dominant stallion in a herd and callously touch his vulnerable throat. It made me look weak for tolerating it. And so it is with all open affectionate gestures in public."

He set his mouth in a thin line. "Also the fact that that demon is related to Barth means nothing at all, blood is thin in demonic circles, in fact unlike what you are used to, it is often your close family you have to mistrust the most. My parents would dissipate me permanently if possible and likewise my grandparents. I do not presume to know about monsters, I cannot speak for your pride, but I do know at least from what you have mentioned that things are very different in your family from what I have grown up with." he curled his lip. "Just because someone wants you around them does not mean they are your friend or wish you well, by the same token just because someone is not all gooey sweetness and light it does not mean they want you to go away either."

"That emotion was not intended for you, it was meant for him."

He found himself derailed momentarily at the idea of Calder with his mark. "Oh I don't know, you might look good with my mark on you. I am not leaving, in any case, we have to live with one another we have to learn to deal with the problems that arise."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder sat up and letting the pillow fall into his lap, watched him. "In public? You never let me touch you in private! The only thing you are comfortable with is if I'm in another room, and you flat out said that you don't even want to be with any of us because you don't feel as if it's worth it. Pubic. Private. You're still an a*****e."

"It wasn't like that either. I just.." Was drunk. "...wanted to show everyone that we were together." Yes, it was dominance in a way. He wanted to show a claim. He wanted to show that he loved them and that he was happy here and that they were happy with him. "Instead, you made it seem like I was just a extra to everyone around."

He went quiet before summoning his feelings back again.

"And I AM family now. Doesn't it make sense that if they hate me that I can stand up and take it? I have to prove something too. I know Barth's family is dangerous. I've already been here once. Barth tells me all the time. Do you think I'm going to cower behind my chair? No! I want to enjoy myself. I mean – come on! Why are we all afraid after all we accomplished? I just want to have some fun too. But that doesn't mean I'm not serious too. If I show I get scared of everyone around here just because they have some names they think is important and because they are older than they have another thing coming."
He undid his collar buttons as he was still dressed for the party. "I also like to learn things. I like to learn the names of the people who are tied to the family I'm entering in. If the family is dangerous, doesn't it make sense I know who is who?"
He sighed. "And it's a party. I like enjoying parties. For my kind, a celebration is sacred. I don't get to have the one in my clan. That's not available to me, and my parents are here. I can't show them I'm afraid of the demons around me and make them worried for me. They worry enough. I need to show I can handle myself and be comfortable here." Even if he wasn't.

He squeezed the pillow in his lap.

"I also like hearing about Barth. Even if families aren't tight, I still want to hear things from whoever will talk to me. At least someone talks to me. No one else bothers. There isn't a textbook for you guys. I have to meet demons to get to know them. If it was up to everyone else, I'd just be shut out and I have had to deal with that enough of my life."

He sighed and threw the pillow back, getting up from his bed. He needed some water and went over to a weird porcelain pitcher that was set in bowl beside a mirror.

Calder poured some in his mouth to take a drink before setting the pitcher down. Weird they didn't give him a cup.

Turning, he flicked his tail behind him. "You insulted my kind and then shoved those feelings at me. How can that not have been for me?"
 

[Baneful]

Zar raised a brow. "Quite the contrary, I am just fine with any sort of contact in private as long as it is not of the dominant sort." He didn't elaborate that on occasion he was even amenable to that, it just took being certain that it was not meant in a derogatory fashion. "But of course at this point I am not going to tolerate being touched by someone who thinks that I am an a*****e."

He shrugged. "I was establishing that you had no hold over me and nor did Barth, I was establishing my own strength, it was not my problem that you made it necessary to do so in the first place."

Calder's explanation for his behavior did make sense, he supposed. Courage was not something he possessed in any great quantity. "Well I deal with things differently. I must. I tried standing up to my parents and I know they are stronger than me. My mother could bring me to my knees with just a touch. I avoid picking fights I cannot win. Perhaps I am a coward." He did not think Calder had a great deal of intelligence or self preservation, but he was at least at present, completely unhurt. Maybe his own tactic was the wrong one.

"You still nevertheless openly stated in public that you sided with Isander and in doing so you rejected me. You are always telling us about the traditions of your clan, well this is one of the traditions of mine. You belittled me in front of my peers and now I cannot comfortably be seen in your company in public. I don't imagine it is a fact that troubles you."

He narrowed his eyes, his own tail flicking. "Those feelings were my revulsion at being touched by a lust demon. You do not revolt me, I would not sleep with someone who disgusted me, he did though, he was dangerous, maybe not too dangerous for you but certainly too dangerous for me. Lust is the eradication of my domain, it is wanting without satisfaction. I am satisfaction or should be, if I wasn't so bad at all of this."

 

[MoonKitsune]

"You rejected me first. You said you wouldn't even have me around if you really wanted Barth. Like I'm a pushover. How am I supposed to feel about that? Just roll over? Then you had those feelings and I didn't know they were for just him. I was there too, and frankly, that made me feel like absolute s**t. You already said horrible things before, so this didn’t seem unlike you. I can't tell when you do or don't feel or mean something. You just go "Figure it out" and then get pissed when I don't get it right. I'm not a demon! I don't GET domains. I don't have one. How am I supposed to understand something easily if I never had it?"

He sighed and sat back down before falling back onto his bed.

" I didn't mean to make you look bad in front of Barth's family. To other demons. But you also insult me when you say monster like it's a bad thing. It's not. It makes you seem like the other demons in the party. The ones that looked at me like I should be in the yard pulling one of their carriages." He said, looking up at the wall.

"Is that what you think I am?"
 

[Baneful]

"You could just have pretended it didn't bother you, let it roll off your self confidence. But instead you sunk your claws into something I admitted to you before was a concern, that you had been here first, that you had first claim, that I was just an interloper." And this time the irritation and hurt in his demeanour was real. "You dragged that out in front of everyone. It simply meant and means that I will be reluctant to confide anything else in you."

He did raise a brow at the kelpie. "You do have a domain. A domain is what you are, what your fear comes from, what stuff you are made of. You are water and various other things.I do not presume to know what the opposite is that is, likely something dry and abstinent. But it would be like me siding with that, something that ultimately wanted you and yours to cease to exist. Or maybe another kelpie? If I decided some other kelpie was the pinnacle of attraction. You wouldn't be too pleased either."

He kept his claws clenched as he eyed Calder, he had argued the monster demon thing various times and every time they came out in conflict. "I want to seem like them. If I do not, they will see me as weak, it might ultimately be my downfall. I have to fall in line, I have to blend in, as an Incubus it is what I should be best at."

Shaking his head he added. "Would it be so bad to pull a carriage? I wish I could do it rather than this high society nonsense, simplicity is something to be envied, not disdained."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Baneful

"Well I was pissed off and hurt. Here is Barth's brother and you made me look like some unimportant extra. Some nothing that wasn't even equal to you. I didn't know if you were lying. And…And I don't …I just get angry, okay."

He didn't often do roll off unless he was sure of what was happening, and back there, he hadn't been sure. It was a jarring realization to know that a conversation you seemed sure about had been lined with demon etiquette and close feelings he hadn't seen. Usually he was the one more sensitive and observant to these things, but in the company of Zar, he felt like a rough stone. He wondered if this was how Christof felt most of the time.

While he only started to get domains as Zar explained, his attention perked and he turned to look over at him at the mention of another stallion coming in. That made a LOT more sense. "I…didn't think it worked that way."

Looking back up, he frowned. "No. I want to be seen as a equal….You don't get respect or admiration pulling carriages. No one has that….urge to want you that way. Not the way I want to be wanted."

Maybe he just didn't want to be just 'useful' but something more.

Wanted.

Needed.

Hungered for.

"I think being a incubi would be nicer. People crave to be near you." And Zar said he wanted to satisfy which meant not just taking.

Sighing, he looked back at Zar. "So, …how can we fix this? If we are going to be making this work, how do I make you look good without me looking like something lesser? Is there anything I need to know for sure? That I even can do?"


 

[Baneful]

"I do not think little of you." he said. "And any implication that I felt you were lesser was entirely for the sake of show, a bluff. If they think I have no investment in you, they will never try to harm you to get at me. It is not the truth. Or at least, I felt it was apparent that it was not the truth. I am not about to go liking you however when it is not reciprocated."

Zar raised a brow. "I don't know so much. I would rather pull carriages than have to mingle and pretend I know what is going on in demon society. I would have a solid use like that, I would have a job. I would trade with you in a heartbeat." He sighed.

"And people don't want to be near me. Most people do happen to find me pretty irritating and want me to go away. Incubus or not. I don't know how to fix it, I don't know how to fix anything about myself let alone helping you convince people I am half way decent."

He moved to sit down on the bed. "I don't enjoy hurting you. It is unpleasant. But I am not strong or courageous enough to stand up in front of THEM and say that I like you, that I think you are strong, that I consider you an equal. I can't do it."

MoonKitsune

 

[MoonKitsune]

Baneful

He shifted when Zar sat down, and turned to look at him as he spoke.

Silent, he turned to look up at the ceiling, quiet for a moment.

"I wouldn't wish that on you either. Telling everyone who you are with and facing that. If they were anything like my clan when I told them about Barth..it's not fun. Not when you wanted to belong all that time. Fit in. I don't know how demons react, but I bet it's painful. " He turned to one side to curl in, back to Zar as he thought of how he was chased out, shouted at that he was an example to all of them, and then trampled to nothing.

He woke up in a grave alone that night knowing he no longer had a clan name. He no longer had anywhere else to go but to the one person he gave that all away for.

"Barth's all I got now. I just…don't want to ******** that up."

He looked down at the mattress, reaching up to pick at the fabric. No threads or lint or slugs like back home. The fabric was fine and silky, too dry and smelling of something faintly old.

"I don't think you need fixing. If people were fixed for not being the right way as they should, I wouldn't be here now. I'd still be back home and never gone to school and miserable and alone. I think…you should just do what you want to be happy."

"……I guess that's not very demony though."
 

[Baneful]

"It is." he said. "It is hard to be a demon who is no good at what comes naturally or should. They retracted my birthright, I don't know why they are even here other than to gloat. I am technically nameless and by your definitions clanless." he smiled wryly. "I do not even have Barth. He does what he wants and as you clearly stated you were here first."

He shook his head. "I wish that it was as simple as doing what I wanted to be happy. I don't even KNOW what I want to be happy."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Baneful

"Well....maybe your life is to find out what makes you happy." He said, turning over to finally look at him. "If you want my help with that...it's here."

He then smiled. "Lilith was there first. I just don't like her enough to let her stick around. I'd sooner rip off her arms than let her touch him. I am hoping I ran her off. I haven't seen her since." As for Zar, well, he didn't mind him so much. Not when he was like this. Talking. At least attempting to help Calder understand. It showed he cared enough about Calder.

And that reminded him.

"So.....I don't disgust you...and you care about me." He repeated, his smile changing from the murderous one he reserved for Lilith to a pleased on. "...and whenever a demon is around, I shouldn't touch you." He made a half-attempt to raise his head to look around at the clearly vacant room and looked back at him. "Hmm. No other demons around."