[Honesty] Rather Be [Ikebana & Zen] [FIN]

[Chrystali]

The dark colt nosed his way through the doors that lead to the cultural center of Phonyland, still using his gestures where he could despite the horn on his brow. He trotted down the impeccably clean hallway, peering left and right at each door until he found the one he was looking for, a sign promoting flower arrangement classes taking up the majority of the glass. It was just about at its end, and taking measures to be quiet, the dark Phony again wiggled his way against the door and into the room, seating himself in the corner and watching his brother speak.

Zen had always looked up to Ikebana, even though Jasmine always referred to himself as the older brother; the champagne stallion's composure and cool demeanor had always been of interest to the smaller male, and lately, Zen was more aware of his grown sibling's temperaments and success. Ikebana and Jasmine both had their father's stoic presence, manners deeply ingrained but with a sense of propriety and drive that definitely came from their mother. Why, then, did Zen possess qualities that neither of his parents did?

When would he find his drive?

Feeling at a loss, the usual bundle of energy waited for Ikebana's class to end, soulful gold eyes taking in his every gesture and word.

Atmadja

<3

 

[Atmadja]

It was a quiet class, as it always was. This particular time slot was for a quite-disciplined intermediate bunch, all of whom were bent over their arrangements with looks of determination and focus. Ikebana knelt at his usual spot in the front of the class, a sample arrangement before him. He was looking, silent and steady-eyed, at his group's work as Zen let himself in.

A look of surprise flickered gently in Ikebana's eyes. The expression was almost immediately extinguished.

"Remember to look at the spaces between," he commented to the class. "Most of your work is managing your negative space. Try too hard and it shows."

Another moment, and the stallion lifted himself from his resting position, a sign that the class had come to an end. The class-goers responded immediately, beginning to chat and to critique each other's pieces. Ikebana, for his part, usually stayed at the front to offer help to whomever came -- but today, he was more interested in why his younger brother happened to be there than anyone else.

"Zen," he greeted, approaching the colt.

Chrystali

<33333~!

 

[Chrystali]

Upon Ikebana's approach, Zen slowly got back to his hooves, his red tail swishing behind himself and his expression brightening almost against his will. Small ears turned forward and the colt smiled, greeting his brother in as contained a voice as he could muster, "Ikay."

Zen wiggled forward and nosed the golden stallion affectionately, looking up at him and staying put, as though the other's greater height would somehow make his visit seem less serious. Well...it was serious to him. He had no doubt in his heart that Ikebana would say a few words and a whole new world would open up to Zen. That's kind of how things worked with Ikebana.

"I hope I didn't interrupt, everyone's flowers look so pretty..." He peeked around the larger male for just a moment before looking back up to him. "I just -- I wanted to, um -- to ask you some questions. About." He waved his hoof in the direction of the class, though his eyes didn't follow. "Things."

Atmadja

Sorrrrryy I literally went to bed a few minutes before you posted ;v;

 

[Atmadja]

Ikebana shook his head as Zen apologized. There was no need for that. His class had access to him at any of his office hours, and family always came first, in Ikebana's eyes. Besides, most of the students already knew the drill -- some were busy packing up their arrangements to take home and others made the decision to display theirs in the class windows. They cleaned up their personal area's debris, all the while chatting with other classmates.

Ikebana paid them little attention. He eyed his brother with interest.

"Things?" he repeated. He lifted his chin, then gestured to his brother to follow him into his small adjoining office. "Aa. Come, we can talk here."

To his class, he only offered a silent nod as he went.

Chrystali

Sorry for the delay!

 

[Chrystali]

"Mmhmm." The colt's confirmation was surely of no further help, but he trotted after Ikebana with his usual bouncy gait, even if his expression didn't quite match it. Zen didn't even look around the office much, so involved in his thoughts as he were; instead of taking everything in and getting into everything, he sat his rump down in the middle of the carpet and gave a good, hard stare. The stare was, however, at nothing in particular, the exuberant babby trying to grab all his wayward thoughts and piece them together. It was important to him that he was at least able to be understood.

The situation had a gravity, or so he felt, but how did one small being speak to those about something that came easy to them? How could he know he'd be taken seriously and not just told all would be well in good time? That was why he picked Ikebana. His brother might give him comfort, but he'd give him an open ear and honest advice, both of which he was sorely in need of.

Flicking his red tail, he waited until Ikebana was ready before he gave the other his attention, slightly more focused but still with a touch of pensive undertone. "How," he asked, slow, the words leaving his mouth as though he chewed over each one before finding it fit for consumption, "did you know what your Purpose was?"

Atmadja

 

[Atmadja]

Ikebana's eyes rounded slightly as Zen got to the purpose of his visit. Honestly, he hadn't expected his brother to be in such a quandary. In his family, he always assumed that everyone just sort of knew. It wasn't that he thought any less of his sibling for not knowing -- it was more he was surprised that he never even considered that possibility. His own purpose had seemed so obvious, so easy. The other lessons had been harder.

"Huh," he said, looking down. He lifted a hoof and pushed his hair out of his face, strangely emotive for the stoic stallion.

"You know. To be honest, I did not overthink it," Ikebana said at last. "I did what I enjoyed doing. I liked traditional arts. Ikebana calmed me. So did calligraphy. It gave me focus and I felt it gave others joy. To me, this was plenty."

He paused. "Do you feel you have anything like that?"

Chrystali

 

[Chrystali]

Dark ears flickered downwards, thinking with his head slightly bowed, his unruly red mane resting upon his brow. I did what I enjoyed doing, Ikebana had said. It made sense, but it put a little more stress on the babben. What did he, Zen, do? He didn't play instruments like his dad, he has no sense of delicate smell like the rest of his family...so what did he do...?

"No, I don't...I don't really do anything." He blinked, looking back up to his big brother. "I mean -- our family is so...set! You and Jazz and mom with scents and dad is -- well, dad, and...I've never done anything, you know? I just..." Zen blinked, his expression briefly distant.

And then his eyes began to get a bit watery, his voice falling to a childish whisper. "Honestly, I don't know, Ikay." Another blink, tears threatening to fall. He tucked his head down, tail curled around his flanks, looking smaller than he already was. "I'm scared! I -- What if I never find my purpose?"

Atmadja

 

[Atmadja]

Ikebana watched his brother with his expression still stony, but his eyes were sympathetic and soft. As the colt began to lose his composure, Ikebana came forward and put a gentle hoof on top of his head.

"It's okay to feel that way," he said quietly. "Do not despair. A purpose is sometimes easy. Sometimes not. But it cannot help but come to you."

He smiled, encouraging. "Being honest with yourself is always first. It is not a crime to feel fear. But if you allow yourself to understand it is all a process, the fear will retreat." He then gently ruffled Zen's hair, a show of brotherly affection.  

[Chrystali]

Wet golden eyes turned upwards to the stoic golden stallion, head slightly ducked but more comfortably so against the comforting hoof. "It's...it's okay?" He sounded dubious, but as he fell silent and listened to his elder brother speak, his expression slowly lost some of its inherent panic and instead shifted to a neutral consideration. The ruffling earned a brief giggle-snort, ears dipped again but this time in a more playful manner.

He faltered once more, however, looking up at his brother, hesitantly speaking as though asking for permission. "I don't...I don't want to disappoint everyone! Mom and dad and you and Jazz and Jude and...and all my friends. Being...like this." Zen thought he might tear up again, but looking at at Ikebana, he couldn't help but start to become infused with his sibling's calm.

Maybe he would be okay!  

[Atmadja]

Ikebana allowed himself to relax as much as to give a small smile, shaking his head as his brother voiced his concerns. How ludicrous, he thought, that Zen could ever think himself capable of DISAPPOINTING them all. There was nothing the colt could do that would manage that feat, so long as he stayed true to himself. Staying a colt for more or less time? That was just what some phonies did.

"Disappointing others is not in your future," said Ikebana simply. "Nor your nature."  

[Chrystali]

And finally, a familiar smile formed, some of the tension in his withers dissipating. Gathering his short legs beneath himself, he stood and gently nosed Ikebana's leg in gratitude. "I dunno, have you seen the way mom tsks at me when I eat?" It was a light joke, but that's what he did. It was more like the foal, at least, more so than brooding.

He swished his tail abashedly before it began its typical sway of content exuberance. "I didn't mean to take you from your students! We can go back if you want to catch them. I can help you clean!" It was a small thing, but he didn't know how else to make it up to his golden brother.

Then again, words never hurt, did they? "Thanks, Ikay."