[PRP] Let's ...Talk. [Helki x Zaire]

[Cheekiebirdiee]

After pulling the clinging boil on his arm towards to his dorm he was kind of winded. Opening the door he went instantly to the bed and flopped down. This was already hard, he felt many things for Helki that was no lie. But he couldn't help but want more, he was selfish after all. Looking towards the other boil he frowned, waiting for him to say the first word this time, glowing eyes on him.

baby_gwing

 

[baby_gwing]

Helki went along with Zaire, an awkward silence between them until they eventually reached the mahamba's dorm. He felt the other boil's grip loosen around his hand and almost immediately complied, letting him have his space for now. And then he waited.

When it became increasingly obvious that Zaire was as usual waiting for him to make the first move, he kicked the door shut behind him without removing his gaze from the other boil. "What you said. Explain yourself." He finally managed after taking a few breaths to try to keep his own emotions in check, his claws digging deeply into his own palms now as he remained where he was.

"I'm not leaving your room today until I understand fully what you're trying to get at Zaire."

Cheekiebirdiee

 

[Cheekiebirdiee]

Helki could have a temper, Zaire knew this. Trying a small grin he shrugged, not sure on how to further explain himself. "I just...want...us to have..some space." Zaire offered, he knew how he left was pretty shitty but he had. "I..didn't make it clear before...I guess," well no he hadn't because he knew this would happen and he wanted to avoid it but, "...we aren't dating anymore..you know..?" Zaire blinked slowly, waiting for the incoming tantrum or tears.

Sighing he felt something inside of him twist, it wasn't that he didn't care for Helki. He should let him know that right? Zaire was himself confused, unsure of how to proceed, selfish in that he didn't feel like letting Helki all the way go yet. It was wrong, he knew deep down but he ignored it.

"...I do...care for you...but...we both need new...experiences...." Because he did.

baby_gwing

 

[baby_gwing]

"No you didn't."

Helki had a bad feeling about this. Sure Zaire would deliberately do things at his own leisure whenever he felt like it but he was never hesitant or tentative the way he was right now. His mind instantly went blank the moment the mahamba informed him that they were no longer together. "We aren't..?" His voice might have been an octave higher when he attempted to confirm what he thought he just heard.

For a long while, there was an awkward silence as the wolf boil contemplated how best he should react to this. "I don't remember agreeing to this. I've already decided that I don't need anyone else other than you." He finally murmured quietly, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears before he lowered his gaze to the ground. "It's something I did or didn't do... is it?" He had admittedly harboured his own suspicions with regards to the mahamba's sudden disappearance but decided to heed his own heart anyway. But to suddenly be told in person that whatever they used to have together was just no longer the same anymore. He found himself perplexed and at a total loss as to what to say much lest do.

Cheekiebirdiee

 

[Cheekiebirdiee]

"..I know.." Zaire sighed heavily not sure where to go with this or how to say he was sorry. At the question he shook his head no, confirming that they weren't together. It was hard to say, but it had to be done, they weren't together and for now Zaire didn't want that.

He did care for Helki, a lot but at the moment his own needs were selfishly out weighting emotions.

It made him happy to hear that Helki only had eyes for him but it also hurt. He couldn't decided yet if that was how he felt. Instead he looked towards the ground and sighed, hands coming up to cup his own cheeks. Thinking hard about how to handle the next question, "it's not...I just think...this will be good for us?" Helki had always loved him selflessly sure he was kind of naggy at times but Zaire knew how much he loved him, how he cared.

"I do..care for you Helki. You..didn't do anything..." Zaire finally looked up to Helki.

baby_gwing

 

[baby_gwing]

"Maybe it's good for you. I don't know. I only know that it's not good for me." Helki couldn't have stopped himself even if he wanted to. He lifted his hands to wipe at his eyes, his entire form quivering as he sniffled in between his words to Zaire. "I... I did everything I could so that I could get a place here. So that I could be with you again. I've been looking forward to this day ever since I came to know that you have been transferred to Amityville."

Indeed he had done exactly that even if he didn't spell out everything he had done for the mahamba's benefit, from giving up his other friends to focus entirely on his studies and his responsibilities as the next in line in his clan just so that he could eventually convince his family that transferring him to Amityville Academy would be worth their while.

"This isn't fair at all Zaire." This was the worst possible situation that Helki could find waiting for him at Amityville after all the effort he had put into getting himself there. The wolf boil whimpered, sinking to the floor now in defeat as he began to curl up on himself. "If you still care about me, you should at least have given us a chance or talked this through with me instead of disappearing and deciding everything all by yourself..."

Cheekiebirdiee

 

[Cheekiebirdiee]

The sinking form of the wolf boil didn't hold anymore weight than when he was standing. Zaire's mind was made up and no matter what Helki said he would have to deal with it. "Maybe...." He offered casually, not really knowing what else to say or answering anything that had been asked. Standing up the larger monster went slowly over and picked up the other from the floor as he had done many times before.

Holding Helki as he moved back to the bed, ".....you're welcome to keep trying..but this is how its going to be." He sighed and stole a gentle nuzzle to the wolfs ears, "we aren't dating..but you are welcome anytime you want to be around me you know this." He didn't think of how hard that might be on Helki, but he didn't want to totally lose him either.

baby_gwing

 

[baby_gwing]

"You're not making any sense at all Zaire." This was the pits. Helki told himself over and over in his own mind. If something was wrong and Zaire told him about it, he would get onto fixing it in a hurry and then everything would be alright between them again. "You know what I want from you. Yet you won't drive me away or return my affections. And now you're even telling me that it's alright for me to stick around you."

But what the mahamba was doing now was absolutely foul and unfair by not answering or giving him anything to work on. By forcing him through deliberate inaction and passivity to give up what they once shared. But that was how Zaire was ever since the day he knew him. Helki had accepted that, always smiling and letting Zaire have his way while making sure that he worked doubly hard in order to compensate for what their relationship lacked. So that an equilibrium was maintained and they would be happy together. "If you truly care about me, you'll do something. Anything. Not this..."

This wasn't fair at all. To be told that he could remain by Zaire's side even though they weren't exclusive to each other anymore. Just where had he gone wrong and what had he worked so hard all this while for?

He pulled away from the mahamba, backing into the furthest corner of the room as he snarled like a trapped animal to try to get him to stay away. Where once his touch comforted and soothed, it only hurt him in a way that was more than any inflicted mortal wound was capable of now. He didn't want to be here now that it no longer was a place where he belonged. It hurt too much to be in his presence much lest be touched and held by those arms that were still painfully familiar. "Don't touch me... please..." He choked on his sobs, the tears flowing freely now as he started to wail and cry over his loss.

Cheekiebirdiee

 

[Cheekiebirdiee]

The mahamba was becoming frustrated more so as Helki pulled from him and huddle in a corner of his room. As if sensing the little wolfs sadness Grey came out of nowhere, hissing at Zaire before he scampered over to nudge his head against the the boils leg. Making sad noises in attempts to be picked up. Zaire sighed and stood up, "...you'd better deal with him. I'm going out...just leave...when your ready." Before Zaire could be caught he was out the door moving faster than the monster ever had and letting Grey deal with the other for now.

baby_gwing