[drabble] Changing [Cami/Otto]

[Bittiface]

[ The Urge ]

Otto fell back easily. His hands were now balled into defensive fists against his chest as he stared up at Cami in bewilderment.

Gracious, she could make a man swoon now, golly gee.

Otto's face flushed again after her kiss, his smile brief and bashful as he cast his gaze aside for a moment. "Ehehe..." He'd meant to make words, but couldn't think of what to say to any of it. His arms eventually rested at either side of his head, and returned his gaze to meet Cami's.

"Thanks. It's just cause like... there's this line. And I was scared to cross it. I thought things'd get weird. But then I just didn't care anymore."  

[nessy]

Moving so that she wasn't quite pinning Otto under her weight, cuddling him the way they almost always twined around each other in the middle of the night, Cami laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm always scared to walk over lines with you because you're so important to me. I mean...I've never really had a friend who fit me as well as you do but..." Fingers toyed with his shirt, tracing designs over his ribcage as her own eyes shifted away and down. "I dunno. Instead of being awkward in the moment we're awkward talking about it, thinking about it, but we just laughed through this one. Because it was funny and not at all the way we thought it would be."

Shifting so that she was looking up at him again, her grin was so wide he could probably feel it in the way her face was shifted against his shoulder. "We're just a little bit too alike, I think, despite the outward differences. You're the introverted me and I'm the extroverted you. No wonder we're cuddle buddies." It was the best word for what they were. Not just friends. Not in a physical relationship...sort-of.

Her eyes went soft, dreamy. "My very best friend."  

[Bittiface]

An arm wrapped around Cami, snuggling in close so that that tangled together comfortably.

"I kinda like how awkward we get. I mean, taking this stuff too seriously can be stressful. You made it fun today, even though I acted like a total idiot." They'd laughed as they grew, and it made it more and more fun. Cami was that. She was fun. Easy to get along with, easy to talk to and open up to. He didn't even mind having to smack her nose when she pretended to smile, which she rarely even did anymore.

He wasn't sure how he felt about just being cuddle buddies. They were best friends. They kissed in a way that often felt platonic, even though deep down he felt as if he wanted to move past that. He couldn't be greedy. He had a great friend in Cami, and a passionate lover in Maebe. Was it terrible that he dreamed to be a little more romantic with Cami?

Once again, there was the line.

He kissed the top of her head as her eyes got soft and dreamy. "The very best." Maybe she'd go to sleep after this.  

[nessy]

Cami, being the generous girl that she was, would have felt horrible had she known of Otto's urges to keep moving over that line. That he wanted to go further her than she was currently willing to go was something so unbelievable, so new, that it would have been shocking in and of itself. Then the guilt of having to deny someone she loved something that their heart desired would set in. It was such an obstruction that she had no idea how to clear it though she wanted to. She wanted to make Maebe's dreams come true and if Otto wanted that as well...

Rolling over it was her turn to bury her face into the pillow as her thoughts wandered along the lines of what Maebe wanted and what Cami could currently give. Looking up she did have at least one thing to say. "You weren't an idiot. Goofy but not stupid." Hugging the pillow tight, she bit at her lower lip, a sure-fire nervous gesture.

"Otto...I..." Her face mashed against the pillow again. Awkward and not fun was a thing that had to happen eventually. "You're important to me. You know that, right? I've never really had someone so permanently in my life like this so I'm...figuring things out still." And it even sounded lame!  

[Bittiface]

Otto sometimes like it when Cami found her own spot on the bed. Now and then he liked to stretch out and enjoy the freedom of having some of the bed to himself. Right now was not one of those times, and having Cami's warmth leave him as she rolled over.

Cami wasn't his first good and real friend. Not his first anything. Even though it wasn't new to him, it was new in the sense that all people were different no matter how similar. Cami constantly seemed to worry and doubt her own worth.

Otto knew that feeling deeply well.

He scooched closer, wrapping his arms from behind her. She could hide in her pillow, but he wasn't letting up. "I know. But.. I worry you don't always remember how important you are to me."

"You can take your time figurin' s**t out. I'm still here. It's just... more fun when we try and figure it out together." Like they'd done earlier. Awkward, but awkward as a team.  

[nessy]

It was more fun, a cornerstone of their relationship even. Cami didn't know how to tell Otto, though, that she wasn't used to caring this much about what someone thought of her. She knew that she was important to Otto, even if she didn't quite understand what had drawn them together like magnets, she'd never really questioned it. Much.

Had she cared less she'd have pinned him to the bed by now, much in the way that Maebe had, though perhaps with a little less of a sharp edge to it. It would have been all laughter and sunshine, finding things out together, and she wanted that. At least, she wanted to want it. Thinking of Otto in such a way was more difficult than it should have been because her brain knew the risks of such thinking.

Her treacherous brain was telling her that he'd become enamored with her the same way everyone else did and he would go from loving her smile and personality, loving her as his dear friend, to loving her a**. Loving the way she moved under him and over him. Until she was nothing but a good time and the smile would have to stick because what else was she good for?

It was absolutely unfair to Otto and, on a level, she knew that. But how could she possibly explain that figuring out what they were had to do with figuring herself out? Rolling over she snuggled back in so that now he was snuggled against her chest, fingers rubbing at his head.

It was bedtime. "I remember, I promise. Same goes for you too, Mister Graves. Instead of stewing until you explode, just tell me about it next time." This smile came easily thinking about what had happened and how funny it had been, a memory she was thankful for.

It wouldn't have been possible to smile, otherwise.