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 Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 11:14 pm
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At some point, after everything went wrong, Mimsy woke to find that she was noticeably without ALICE. Alice.
Both.
There were bits and pieces of clear realities in her recent memory, and none were particularly appealing. How could they be? The most notably positive alteration to what she'd perceived to be true was that Lucky was entirely intact, though he did smell of rotting fish and stale sweat. Of course, so did she, which was probably why he did.
Her fingers curled around one of his, when she stopped by their room to collect clean clothing, and she pressed it to her lips, just as she had before Charlotte arrived. It was warmer this time, but Lucky was still not okay.
She wasn't either, to be fair.
A quick shower did not improve that, nor did her first sip of coffee. All hope was not lost, however; all of the more promising solutions were waiting just ahead.
"Good morning," she greeted Robert, as she closed the door behind her. It wasn't a pleasant greeting, nor a cheerful one, but she did offer a smile and one of the two cups of coffee that she carried. It wasn't even a very relevant greeting, considering the fact that they had already seen each other once this morning, but now they were correctly starting the day.
It still wouldn't feel right, but this would feel better now. She was sure of it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:19 am
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Robert's shower had not been so quick.
Robert woke up with the very distinct smell of minipet urine coating his shoulder, and an enormous headache as his brain tried to wrap itself around everything that had just happened (and didn't happen, he was really starting to hate dreams lately). There was no time to bask in the content of being alive, or seeing Mimsy alive, when he realized just how bad they smelled. It was a mutual agreement, really, to immediately separate ways and go take separate showers.
Separately.
They really smelled that awful.
He scrubbed every inch of him, even though the only real problem had been his shoulder. He'd also scrubbed his other shoulder a few times, looking for a phantom gunshot wound that never existed. He kept looking for it, as if it would suddenly appear if he just kept scrubbing. But it didn't.
Because there had never been a gunshot wound. There had never been a gun. Mark was fine, and he'd mourned the suicide of a pillow.
He continued to try and understand what they'd all just gone through, all the way back to Mimsy's old dorm, when he curled up in the bed and stared at the statue of Mimsy. He looked at her eyes, in particular, and lost himself in a memory he wished he had the power to forget.
Why did the universe keep doing this to him? Did God find it funny to keep giving him a taste of what fatherhood could be, just to remind him one more time that he'd never have it? Was it really that funny of a cosmic joke?
He'd been ready to die, to stay with her. That didn't feel very funny to him.
Robert jolted up from the bed when Mimsy arrived, and his eyes flickered from her, to the coffee, to her. He was still so scared that this wasn't real, because nothing had been real for almost a week now, and there was never any guarantee that this was. He stood up to take the coffee first, and lift it to his lips to drink it hard and fast. It burned his tongue, scalded his throat, and settled uncomfortably in his stomach. Nothing about it was good, or pleasurable.
And that was how he knew it was real.
He put down the cup, and took hers. Then he settled her cup down beside his, so she didn't spill anything when he wrapped her up violently in his arms and picked her up several inches off the floor. He just needed to hold her, while he still felt the pain of reality in his throat. He needed to hold her, while she was real.
"Morning, baby."
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:40 am
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When Robert took his coffee, he drank it in what seemed to be one gulp - so when he took her cup as well, Mimsy assumed he was going to drink that too, and had already begun to write the coffee off when he set it aside. Confused, she slowly looked from the cup, then to him, and had only just opened her mouth to ask why as his arms wrapped around her.
One small sound and a painfully difficult breath later, she managed to put her arms around him too, her toes reaching helplessly floorward.
"Yes, I am pleased to see you too," she whispered, careful to conserve as much breath as she could. She shifted to prop one elbow on his shoulder, and ran her fingers through his hair. Even in a dream, he'd been very good, and he deserved praise for that much.
So praise he would get.
"I want to go home." The words she blurted out were not at all related to what she'd meant to say, and confusion crossed her face. Brow furrowed, she bit her lip and stopped moving, unable to continue without gauging his reaction. The only indication that she was real, not just another puppet, was the rise and fall of her chest against him and the occasional fluttering blink of her anxious eyes.
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:15 am
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Even her voice felt soothing, and he appreciated that. He settled her back down on her feet, but it was a temporary reprieve. They were clean, and there was no reason to keep any amount of distance between them, as far as he was concerned. So he picked her up again, set her down on her bed, and climbed in beside her. All at once he was curling up; his body, big as it was, needed to bend into fetal position just to keep itself on the bed, but all that mattered was that he could curl inward, settled beside her, face to face, and be reminded of her presence.
It was warm and cozy and absolutely silly, and it never felt so good.
But she'd spoken before he carried her to the bed, and he hadn't responded yet. This was in part due to how desperate he was for her affection, but also because her request left him short of breath with joy. She wanted to go home. Out of everything they'd just dealt with, all the loss, the suffering, the pain, the desire -
She wanted to go home.
And this was why his response had been to pick her up, set her down on the bed, and curl up like a child against her body.
"I'll get the walls up by tomorrow. Foundation's already down, but work got busy and - I'll schedule a temporary leave to focus on it. I'll take you home, Mimsy."
He had his head half-buried in her collarbone, and his hands played with strands of her hair. "I won't rest 'till I can take you home."
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:00 am
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Not a word. He set her down, just briefly, picked her right back up, then set her down on the bed this time.
This was not home.
The look of confusion on Mimsy's face only deepened, as she watched him crawl into bed beside her. This was not home. Why did he think that this was home?
There was a tightness in her throat as she tilted her head up, looking towards the statue, and when she looked back down, he was already beside her, eyes looking directly into hers. The tightness became a lump that she could scarcely swallow past, and she worried that she might unintentionally say something harmful again.
That was what she'd just done, wasn't it? This was supposed to be home, but it wasn't, and if she told him, it would be worse. She clutched her hands together against her chest, and anxiously rubbed the knuckle of her thumb.
He spoke, and she held her breath, but there was no reason to. He understood after all.
"Thank you," she mumbled, releasing one of her hands to return to petting his hair with the other. "It might be advisable to rest, you know."
She didn't want to sleep either, though. Not now. She'd been so excited, when dreams could lead to Wonderland, but her ties to ALICE had been severed. They cut her free, snipped right through her tether to allow her to fly, but she felt a lot more like she was floating aimlessly in space now. She was no longer on the space station - she was lost.
"Perhaps I could arrange my schedule to accommodate this too...I would be willing to retrieve the remaining supplies, and could offer further assistance if my presence would not be troublesome. And Lucky can--" Oh. She frowned. Lucky could not do anything at the moment, except sleep. He could sleep very well.
"Lucky is still very sleepy." She leaned her head against his, and stared blankly ahead of her. "Can he nap at home with us?"
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:32 am
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As soon as her hand was in his hair, Robert's eyes closed and he let out a soft, content hum. It didn't last - his eyes were open again the moment she suggested the importance of rest, and he shook his head stubbornly.
"Will. Not. Rest." Of course he would rest. Robert fell asleep standing up, sometimes - but he intended to try his hardest to simply never stop working. But sleep would come, whether or not he planned for it. He could already feel the dangerous tendrils of drowsiness tugging on him. He wasn't tired; they'd had enough sleep for ages, but lying next to her, curled up with the woman he loved, made him feel warm and cozy. It was so easy to drift off in the bubble of happiness only she had the power to create around him.
He adamantly refused, this time, because he needed to spend time soaking up her presence - her real presence - before he allowed himself to sleep again. And some small part of him was.. just a little afraid of what would happen whenever he did fall asleep.
His face lit up in happiness when she told him she would come help. Her presence was the opposite of troublesome, and he wanted to tell her that, but he felt the heavy weight of the topic of Lucky, and silenced his joy. He felt her head against his, and he turned his head just slightly, left to right, to rub himself adoringly against her.
"Of course he can." He assured her, confident this was a promise he could keep. "We'll take good care of him. At home."
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:56 am
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"Thank you. I like that idea," Mimsy murmured, following his hum of contentment with a thoughtful one. She thought of everything that she had taken from her brother, traded and stolen, because ALICE said his eyes were better, and she required a steady equilibrium between them. Or maybe tipped slightly in her favor, but certainly not a dynamic where he was undeniably fundamentally 'better'.
"What is the last event that you recall, before we..." On second thought, no; there was no simple way to put this. She rolled her shoulders, restless and uncomfortable at the thought of saying something potentially harmful again.
Maybe everything was, as far as this was concerned.
"I saw Alice again. You were holding her up, so she could speak with me through the communications system of the international space station. She told me that she was very tired, and I offered a bedtime story." The coffee in her cup was getting cold, and she stared at it in a silent moment of consideration, but didn't move to retrieve it. "Everything went dark, and ALICE - from Wonderland - was marvelously kind and generous to me. She helped me see the dreams, like webs of spider silk. She said that she loved me."
Had she told him the same thing? She turned her head to get a glimpse of him, in hopes of determining whether this made him feel happy, or envious, or something else entirely.
"Then, I...er." It was difficult to stay on track while she was trying so hard to subtly stare at him. "She sent me back to our room, where I was murdered with a knife, decorated with a white rabbit on its hilt. Lucky was fully dismantled and was scattered all across the room when I awoke, and Charlotte...do you remember her? She asked if I liked her gift, in reference to Lucky, and stated that she was disappointed in me. She said that I was dying of starvation. Then she apologized, and she killed me. She killed me!"
Though her tone was clearly more excited, she didn't seem upset. It was ridiculous, in retrospect.
"I followed the white rabbit. Then I fell a long, long way. I fell very far." She smiled, just on the edge of laughter, and leaned into him to match how he'd curled around her. "If this is another Wonderland, that needs my assistance to achieve excellence...I have to say, my first alteration would be to restore the bells."
Through her wistful sigh, she could almost hear them ringing.
"I miss the bells. And the rings. They were incredible."
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 3:33 am
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The last event he recalled. Robert tensed, realizing that the discussion was about to cover everything it needed to, instead of quiet nuzzling cuddles and pettings and kisses on the nose. Be an adult, he told himself, straightening up enough to listen carefully to every single thing she said.
It hurt to hear the name Alice, but he tried not to cringe too hard; he didn't need another Ramona incident on his hands. At least this time, Alice was theirs to lose, not just his.
His cringe at hearing that she was murdered was far more obvious, and he felt strong disdain for Charlotte for doing such a thing - even if it was only in dreams.
But it all came back to the white rabbit, and the way she spoke when she drifted off into thoughts of Wonderland reminded him of how happy she'd been when they were there. She'd been free to smile, and laugh, and love, and be the person he always knew she was deep down. All of the pain and torture that forced her inhibitions so deep were released, there. He missed it, so much. Not for the same reasons are her, but that made him miss it no less.
"The bells." His face lit up, brightening with a happy grin. He reminisced of their weddings, and of how happy it all made her.
"I miss them too." He whispered. "I miss everything. I miss.. I miss how happy Wonderland made you. If I could make you that happy, Mimsy, I would do anything." His hand reached up and brushed against her cheek. "I love you, so damn much. Watching you bloom in that world was one of the happiest experiences of my life."
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Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 10:58 pm
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It was a bit odd, Mimsy thought, for Robert to miss the happiness that she felt in Wonderland above all else. If anything, she suspected that she should be the one to miss that, so...why did he? Everything that she'd mentioned had involved both of them, but this was just about her. This was extraordinarily favorable for her, of course, so she had no intentions of correcting him - she was just curious, and wanted to know how to replicate this.
Was happiness the key? That could be either beneficial or troublesome. She was not quite sure yet, and to avoid getting too caught up in theorizing over it, she held onto the way he'd said 'anything'. It was easy to smile, once she did.
"We should make the bells chime again. We are capable!" It would be much simpler with Lucky's assistance, once again, but she still felt confident. She felt determined, at least.
As she temporarily set the idea of the bells aside, she held her hand out in front of them and examined it. Her thin fingers felt so strange without the weight of all of those rings, and there was a particular emptiness that came alongside it at the sight of so much space between them, in their absence. And she missed her claws, for different reasons.
"I want a ring for each marriage." She tilted her hand back and forth, imagining what that might look like. It would be suitably impressive, she thought. "At least for those in Wonderland - we earned those rings together, and I want everyone to know of the importance of this."
Months and months ago, she had ignored what one ring meant, but surely no one could ignore the overwhelmingly obvious significance of five. She slid her hand into his, pointedly brushing her thumb over his ring finger.
"You don't have to wear one, or any, of course!" She giggled, almost playfully. This was fun! "I thiiiink...that I would feel happier if you did, though. It would be kind of like we brought a part of Wonderland back with us, like transferring a specimen. Or another part, considering the bells. Perhaps we could bring all of our favorite portions here, to expand the feeling of home! What would you want to take from Wonderland, if you could?"
Intrigued by the possibilities of his response, she stared at him and waited with a smile.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 3:26 am
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Make the bell chime? He imagined what the wedding card would have looked like, in the real world. Then he minimalized the vision, imagining just the sound of the bells, and perhaps a shower of confetti. That seemed completely doable, for two Life techs. Why hadn't he thought of that?
"You're brilliant." Oh, that's why. He kissed her nose as he quietly reminded himself that she was the brains of their symbiotic relationship, and he the brawn. "As usual." And he just knew that soon enough, they would have something - some device or trinket, that announced to everyone just how happily they were being married.
Of course, she went another step further, reminding him of other trinkets that could fill that same job description. Trinkets that he'd never thought they would be getting, before Wonderland. He wondered if he'd been too rash, handing her that written certificate. He wondered if he'd been wrong about how he'd handled everything to do with Mimsy and marriage, until Wonderland showed him how to do it right.
"No, I definitely want five rings too." His voice was filled with a sudden, frantic excitement. "And I want them all to be different, just like the ones we had. And engraved. And, and - " He was out of breath, shivering slightly from how far his thoughts had run off with him. "And maybe we should. Go get married."
He sucked in a breath, and held it, only letting a little escape with one last word.
"Again."
That was unexpected.
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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:40 am
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The excitement in his response made Mimsy laugh, delighted over his enthusiasm. It endlessly pleased her when he so readily accepted these sorts of things, these signs of who he belonged to.
"That is a brilliant idea as well. They can be everything!" They couldn't be everything, as that was physically impossible, but they could probably cover the majority of their wishlist, whatever it might have been.
Then he had another idea, which required a moment to process.
She had no intention of declining his suggestion. She was eager to add another to their (persistently growing) list of marriages, but she had never been interested in the subject in general, which meant that she was now approaching a topic where she would be thoroughly lost. All that she'd wanted was the status itself - and they were, as far as either of them were concerned. Unless he meant that he wanted a marriage with a wedding, but weddings seemed so unimportant, especially when the few that she recalled had been family affairs.
Or they had, until Wonderland. Weddings there were all about control, and choosing what was optimal, and their own special science. Those were sensible, which didn't surprise her, considering their location.
Maybe she had just misinterpreted the purpose of weddings in this reality. Her information was in dire need of an update, anyway.
"Yes!" She pulled him into a haphazard hug as she finally replied, returning to smiles and laughter. "I think that would be wonderful. As wonderful as anything can be here, I mean!"
She laughed at her own 'joke' before she continued, her tone just slightly more serious.
"How should it happen?" As she waited for his answer, she closed her eyes so she could imagine that too. "Does this marriage include a wedding, or will it more closely resemble our first?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:58 pm
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Flooded with an almost childish excitement, he wiggled on the bed as he hugged her and let out a long, happy whine. She made him feel like everything he did was a great idea. But her reaction to this specifically meant so much to him, and he was sure he was about to burst with joy.
But it just felt so good to hear her say yes. He thought he might be shaking, but he couldn't exactly tell with how much he wiggled with her in his arms. He couldn't keep still, he was vibrating with excitement.
He paused when she asked him if the marriage should have a wedding, and realized he'd been speaking of weddings all along, and she hadn't. He let out a small, embarrassed laugh, and his breathless words poured out of him helplessly quick. "Oh, yes, I mean, yes I was saying we should have a wedding, like a real one, with a priest and you in a dress and we say things like I do and then I carry you over the threshhold and - " He hummed, quieting down as he considered his favorite parts of a wedding - the honeymoon. His cheeks flushed with color as he thought about it.
"BUT YEAH. Wedding! Flowers and cake and - oh. Ohhhh. Man, okay, I don't know if you'd go for this, maybe you got a different idea and I'm okay with whatever you want, but like, you know what might be cool."
His eyes widened in awe. "Gettin' married in Vegas." It was what all the cool kids did, right?
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:15 pm
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The more kinetically energetic Robert's excitement got, the more difficult it became to remain on the bed with him. In an effort to avoid falling out of his grasp and onto the floor, Mimsy wrapped her arms around him and held tightly to him.
"A real one?" She frowned, thoughts on the memory of their previous weddings. They were as clear as many of her other memories, and even more clear than several stretches of time that she could hardly recall. "Our weddings in Wonderland were very real to me. We have been married five times, with four weddings, which I am already quite pleased with! Unless you are referring to Deus alone, in which case I continue to agree with you. It is not necessary, as we previously concluded, but it would be splendid. I would like it very much."
As he spoke about the procession of events, and stopped after something about the threshold, she waited patiently for him to finish speaking. But he didn't. What happened then?
Concentrating on what he did say next was difficult, when she discovered that he was not continuing that train of thought. She still tried, but some degree of confusion was still inevitable.
"That is fairly typical, correct? Yes, I like this idea as well. There should be cake and tea, and...can we select and obtain all of our rings beforehand?"
From what she could recall, it did seem typical, but he would know best. As long as she got all of her rings, she was content going along with what was supposed to happen. It was a bit foggy, anyway, when she thought of the portions of her life that included the weddings she'd attended.
"Oh!" Speaking of. "Er, do we go alone, or do we ask others to attend? I may have...promised Shu that she could attend one of our weddings as a flower girl, for instance." That was probably something she should have confirmed with him first, but it seemed like such a good idea in the moment.
She offered an apologetic smile, hopeful that it wouldn't ruin the wedding's ultimate outcome.
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Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:49 pm
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"Nononono no-" He choked with laughter, shaking his head. "I don't mean real like, like not fake kind of real. I mean real like, typical. Like the standard kind of wedding that happens. No, baby, all those weddings were very real to me, too. I just meant we should go play the normal people game in a chapel with fancy clothes 'n s**t." She caught on quick enough, returning to agreement over all the little things that made a wedding.. a wedding.
"Yeah. We can go get our rings like as soon as we get leave, and then we can have them for a while, and use the leave after that for Vegas. Like a little holiday! Have you ever been to Vegas? I've been to Vegas. I didn't get to do much gambling though. They have slot machines and you can win like super lots of money there, but you can also lose everything." His grin turned sheepish. "Except I kind of cheat by using Jazzy and never actually putting real money in. I won twenty dollars with her last time!"
He'd veered so far off the topic that he couldn't even see where he'd come from. "Shu can totally come, but they won't let her in the gambling area, because she's underage, so we should get a hotel room so she has somewhere to stay if we check out the slots at all. Oh, and there's shows there too, we could go see SHOWS. LIKE FAKE ELVIS OR FAKE TINA TURNER OR HALF NAKED LADIES DANCING - oh I guess you wouldn't be interested in that last one, haha.."
He was blushing again. Different reasons.
"And then we can go to some little chapel, it's probably going to be called something like the Little Chapel of Love or The King's Chapel or - whatever there's like a million, you can just pick out which one you like, and we would go in and then get MARRIED. AND WE CAN GET CONFETTI!"
He would not stop talking.
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Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 12:55 am
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Laughter was not what Mimsy expected as a response, and she clenched her teeth to wait for him to stop. Wonderland was serious, and--
The small smile brightened and widened and gave way to her own laugh. 'All those weddings were very real to me too,' he'd said. Thank goodness. She relaxed, stifling her laughter to listen intently to what he had to say again. This was crucial information, and she readily absorbed it, just as she might with any other research.
"Yes!" she chimed in, straightening up as well as she could. "Yes to the rings, I mean. I have never been to Vegas, no. It seems that it might be somewhat profitable, if we could avoid detection. I suspect that they would not find that method very profitable!"
It was the opposite, in fact, and she laughed at her attempt at a joke again.
"We could see anything! Though I am not sure that I comprehend the entertainment value of watching partially naked dancing. Do you not dance along with them? Why is it solely visual?" No matter how she thought about it, the idea of it made no sense. She supposed it was something that might never be entertaining to her, but being incapable of something was frustrating. Even if it was because she was incapable of enjoying half-naked dancing ladies.
She was silent, lost in thought again, and it seemed that she might have no further comments. Then, without warning, she perked up with a little gasp.
"Bells and confetti! Congratulations!" She twisted to reach up and put her hands on either side of his face. "Yes, congratulations, because you love me, and because I love you in return!"
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