[METAPLOT] ~ Back to the Waters (Tariel + Turin)

[Teigra]

Apparently, she'd paused to wait for him, as if knowing he'd follow. Of course, he'd follow. He caught the tiny gesture before she turned to start swimming again and he swallowed nervously, trying very hard not to acknowledge the questionable thoughts that simple look had evoked.

Yep. Business to discuss. Right.

Even though he should have known to expect them, he stopped short behind Tariel at the sight of the guards. Keep calm, look innocent. Wait... Why the hell was he acting so guilty? Maybe because Tariel was hiding the casings behind her back, flashing that sweet smile again as she gave a quick summary of their trip. A very quick summary. Before they swam away, one of the guards gave Turin a questioning look in passing. He answered with an easy smile that defied the awkwardness he felt inside. "Vali! Long time, no see. Arya still doing well?"

The conversational inquiry and tone seemed to put the other at ease and after answering positively regarding his mate, he swam off with his comrade. Turin nearly sighed in relief, then turned to follow the Queen inside. He had to stop short again as she had halted in the entrance way. He'd nearly bumped into her, but stopped himself, one hand on her shoulder, the other on the frame of the door. Puzzled as to why she'd stopped so suddenly, he tried to move around her, concerned by the vacant stare on her face. "Tariel? Everything alright?"
 

[Antidia]

Turin's touch and his words were all that was required to snap her attention back to the present. She let go of the casings, and they floated towards the floor. After blinking a couple times, she met his eyes. This is home, remember that. With a sadness she couldn't shake, she moved to wrap her arms around Turin, burying her face in his neck. "Memories that aren't even mine haunt me," she murmured.

Determined to not let this little minor inconvenience of a silly memory that wasn't hers detour her plans, she tried to shove the heartache and pain down deep. This is my life to do as I choose.

She lifted her head and tenderly touched Turin's cheek. Pleading with her eyes, Tariel's tone was unlike her sultry self of a few moments ago before entering her chambers. She begged, "Let's make new memories, Turin. Memories that belong to us alone." Her hand slid from his cheek to the back of his neck, and she pulled herself closer, pressing her lips to his.

Please.

She was fueled by a deep-rooted desire to control herself and her volatile emotions and she was using the only method she knew how.  

[Teigra]

If he was surprised (and he was), he only showed it for a moment in the way he froze as the Queen turned to cling to him. When her voice reached his ear though, there was nothing he could have done except hold her. Even if he was shooting anxious looks at the open door. Yet, he could understand some of what she was going through. She wasn't the only one having trouble coping with these new memories. New 'old' memories.

He wanted to assure her that everything would be alright. That everything would be better in the morning, or one of those typical placating statements...but it would be a blatant lie. He had no idea what was going to happen tomorrow, let alone beyond that. He wished he did, but unfortunately, that wasn't his place. It made his chest ache to see her like this, even if it meant she held on to him tightly, as if she needed him. That alone would have been a nice feeling, if not for the reason for it.

And these memories...how much of who he was was really 'Turin?' How much was this 'Ka'eo'? Was everything he was only some shadow of a former hero, his devotion coming only from past failure in some attempt to make up for it? What about this former Captain? Had he too sheltered hidden feelings for his Queen...?

Thinking back to the vision, Turin remembered a swirling plethora of emotions that he'd experienced through the other Captain. Rage. Betrayal. Fury. Those were the big ones. Then, disappointment in himself. His people. Panic. Fear. He paused; was there anything else? Anything to imply he'd viewed the Queen as anything more than that? His Queen?

Not that he sensed. Glancing down at the Queen who seemed determined to hide from the world against him (if it would have worked, he'd have let her), the thought dawned on him that perhaps that was something that was uniquely 'him' after all. He wasn't just some carbon copy of a failed hero...

He started to smile when she looked back up at him. Maybe...maybe things would be alright in the end. Wait, what was this about 'new memories?' Turin seemed frozen by her gaze, unable to escape as she pulled closer...closer...her lips touching his...

It was as if a current passed through them, a shiver following in its wake. He couldn't think. Couldn't move. He was dumbstruck. His mind seemed to have shut down, unable to tell him what to do next. Fortunately, it wasn't his brain he needed to respond. He returned the gesture without thought, only passingly acknowledging that this was something he'd wanted for longer than he could remember. For so long, he'd dismissed such thoughts as foolish fantasy, but now... He raised his arms, taking a firm hold of her shoulders...

...and pushing her away. It was the single hardest thing he'd ever had to do. "Tari...I..." He tried to shake the haze that seemed to cloud his mind. He wanted this; he had for a long time. But...this was wrong. He couldn't do this...not for his own selfish reasons. He couldn't take advantage... "I...I can't," he broke away, slipping from her grasp to head for the open door.

When he reached the entrance, he stopped, one hand on the door, the other on the frame, hovering in the portal. What to do...his brain said to go...his heart said to stay. But what one said one minute, the other said the next as they swapped arguments. He had no idea what to do. Which to listen to. Conflicted as he was, he couldn't ignore the lingering sensation of her lips against his, her hand on his neck pulling him close to her. In the end...it won out.

After pausing there for some time, the Captain slowly pushed the door closed, remaining there, leaning on one hand. "Tariel...do you...do you really want this?"
 

[Antidia]

The moment they connected was as electrifying and everything the Queen had fantasized and dreamed it would be. For just a split second she felt that pure joy she felt when in Alu's memories. But only a split second because when Turin pushed her back, her heart fell to the floor. She stayed where he left her and she watched him try to flee, but stop. It took every last drop of energy and will power to not break down and just cry herself into a puddle. She didn't even bother asking 'why not?'. Maybe she'd misread all the signals. Maybe he was right and she was taking advantage of him. He was always the more sensible one.

This hurt, this exact pain, was why she didn't let her heart get involved with others, and kept to a more casual approach to relationships with others. She only felt love for her Court; her friends, the three Naiad she grew up with. But with Turin, it was a different love, and she knew it, despite the constant denial. She'd always told herself it was to protect him, but the truth was, it was to protect herself.

When he hesitated at the threshold, her heart stopped and she held her breath. She clenched her hands to her chest, hoping...

This was not like Tariel to feel so desperate for one male's attention and affection.

When he closed the door and turned around, before he even said a word, she practically threw herself at him. She clung so tight, her heart feeling restored. "I do." she whispered. Overtaken by the relief, she spun him around, wrapping her tail around his, and smiled so big as she kissed him again. Her eyes closed tight as she pushed all other thoughts out of her mind. Stay in this moment. Make new memories.

"Turin," She cooed and tried to pull him towards her bed.  

[Teigra]

He was trying to stay objective, rational even. He really was. But when Tariel hit him, wrapping herself around him so tightly he couldn't have escaped if he tried...he practically melted. Drifting backwards, he felt his back bump against the door, but he was more concerned with the kiss. Resolve, concern, confliction, all melting away at the contact. Considering how long he'd dreamed about this exact thing happening, it was difficult not to just give in and let things happen. For the moment at least, maybe he could. The sensation was electrifying, and throwing caution to the currents, he reached up, tangling his hands in her hair...

But, it had to end at some point and when it did, concern crept back in as soon as he was able to think again. The way she said his name sent shivers up his spine, but he hesitated, resisting as she tried to pull him forwards, as much as he wanted to just follow her invitation. He didn't pull away either. "Tari...you're sure?" He knew she was emotionally volatile at the moment, upset and seeking some control over her situation. He also knew how she normally dealt with that. He'd just never been the target before.

Some part of his mind kept asking why the hell he cared or was complaining.

At the same time, he knew what kind of man he was. Not the kind to take advantage of a situation, nor a woman, like this. Though...if he knew that this wasn't just a reaction, that he wasn't just a convenient target...if he could hope for so much... At the very least, if he could just be sure that this wasn't something she'd immediately regret, or hate him afterward and blame him for taking advantage of a moment of weakness.

He pulled her back instead, reaching for her cheek. Despite the turmoil he felt, he managed to smile at her warmly...quite a bit of warmth it seemed creeping into his face at the moment. He'd never imagined saying what he was about to say. It was a major risk, he knew, but something in the way Tariel was acting hinted that this was not just...some fling. Or...perhaps that was just wishful thinking on his part again. "I'm not saying I don't want to. I just...I don't want to take advantage of the situation...or of you," he admitted, the honesty after keeping secrets for so long feeling...both relieving and unnerving at the same time, as he had no idea how she'd react or whether he'd guessed her own motivations incorrectly. He lifted her hand to kiss it. "...though...if this is really what you want, Tari...I'm happy to comply," he finished, glancing towards her bed.

Perhaps it didn't mean what he hoped it meant. Maybe there wasn't anything deeper than what she said. Maybe she just wanted something casual, new memories as she said. He should be honored that she'd turned to him in that case. If it made her feel better, helped her cope, well...

He had always been her devoted protector.

Perhaps, just for one night, he could be her devoted lover.
 

[Antidia]

Tariel had never had to work so hard in her life to get laid. She knew Turin was different, she knew this would present a whole new set of complications and emotions that, prior to tonight, she didn't want to even consider dealing with. But after feeling the rejection, the lost love, and the jealousy at that meeting, Turin suddenly felt a lot closer and worth the complications. Was she using him? Yes and no. She had longed to feel a requited love from him, but also long dismissed his affections as mere duty. Several times, she'd felt it was more, but she wondered if that was just wishful thinking. Tonight, she was starting to think maybe their whole romantic connection was in her head. Maybe her initial intentions weren't of the purest kind, tonight and maybe that's why this isn't working out.

She wasn't going to force him. He was resisting far too much. She also respected him enough to know that perhaps he felt this was duty to fulfill her wishes, but in his heart he didn't want to. Maybe ... his heart actually did belong to that other Naiad girl, the mother of his children.

His words didn't really register as something she wanted to hear. 'Happy to comply.' It made her realize that maybe she was using him. Using what she thought she knew to get her way and get her own relief without regards to how it'd make him feel. How badly did she really want this? Maybe he sensed it ... that was his power, right? Sensing danger.

She wasn't that kind of Naiad to use those she loved like this -- nameless guys she meets randomly are a different story. She felt ashamed of herself now that she was forced to face what she knew she was doing. She should have known better. "I'm sorry," she whispered and hung her head, unable to make eye contact now. Thank the Waters tears disappeared in the water. She took his hand from her face, and placed his palm over her heart. She focused all her attention there, to avoid letting him see the shame in her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pull you into my own personal problems, like I seem to always do. I'm sorry to pull you into something you aren't comfortable with."

She was trying to clear her guilt, but it wasn't working. Something inside of her didn't want to ease up, and not the part just wanting to cover up the pain. You've passed the breaking point. Giving up now will just make things awkward. But what about continuing on this path? What then? Maybe the risk will be worth it.

"Turin, I--" her voice cracked a little, giving away a little bit of the emotion she was feeling, "I ... don't want you to do this as an obligation or duty." She paused, and finally wrangled the strength to look up to meet his gaze. "I've never wanted anything so bad in my life. Turin, I ... want you." I always have.

She couldn't stop herself, she didn't want to say that! She wanted to let him go so he wouldn't make a mistake. She wasn't trying to reel him in further against his wishes. She let go of his hand, drifting away from him. "I think you know what I want, but I don't want you to make a mistake and resent me later. You can swim away, no hard feelings." Lies! You'll be heartbroken.

Whoever this other voice in her head was needed to be speared.

She'd never left herself this openly vulnerable to another Naiad in her life. Well, except once, but that ended tragically.  

[Teigra]

Turin was worried at first. He wanted to do this...but what about after? Would she cast him aside in the morning? Hate him instead? By the Waters, whether she actually wanted to do this with him because of who he was or whether he was simply convenient...if they went through with it, there was no going back. Their relationship would change forever...but for better or worse? He had no idea.

As her expression fell, he wondered what he could have said wrong, what he'd done to upset her...he'd tried to be reassuring. As she started apologizing, he realized he'd been misunderstood, but he wasn't sure how to interrupt to explain. He was okay with this...even if it was just to help her cope, he could--

He never expected what came next. His jaw nearly dropped in shock; all he could do at first was stare as she pulled away, putting distance between them. She...she actually...wanted him? Him? He thought his heart might stop in shock. But now she was telling him to go...to leave because she didn't want him to hate her. How had it ended up so backwards?

In the silence, he managed to shake off his shock and follow after her. "Tari, no...you've got it all wrong." He reached for her hand at first...then after a moment drew her into his arms in a warm embrace instead. He'd never imagined staying what he was about to say, but dancing around matters only created more confusion. It was a risk, but one he was finally willing to take. He'd just have to make sure he was blunt this time so that he was understood. There was no going back for either of them at this point; so might as well put it all out there.

"This isn't about duty or obligation," he explained. Alright, so he'd been willing to follow through with that as an excuse. It wasn't why he wanted to do this though. "Didn't I make it clear? I want to do this. I just...didn't want you to hate me later," he admitted with a sheepish grin. To think, she'd been worried about the same thing. It was almost funny; or would have been had the room not felt so emotionally charged at the moment.

He spared a glance down at the scars on the right side of his chest before turning his eyes back to hers. "Silly, Tari," he chided lightly, a faint smile to show he was teasing. "Why do you think I've thrown myself into such dangers for you? Duty? Responsibility? Ha. Duty and responsibility only go so far towards willing self-sacrifice. There is something that goes much further though," he murmured, lifting her chin gently as he leaned in to press his lips to hers.

He was only too happy to take charge of the gesture this time around, and when he finally broke away, he continued to hold her close, leaning in towards her ear fin to whisper, "...I've always loved you, Tari."
 

[Antidia]

Tariel accepted the affections, the kiss, his embrace everything. It was wonderful. She felt silly for misunderstanding what he was trying to say, even if in her heart she felt like he was only here with her tonight out of obligation--

Wait, what?

"...I've always loved you, Tari."

She wasn't expecting that. She never expected that. She wasn't sure how to respond to that. Her heart was doing somersaults, but her mind had slammed to a screeching halt. Love. Not a word she tossed around lightly. At least not Eros type love. Storge is what she felt for her friends, and she expressed that regularly. Eros was something she didn't allow herself to feel. But her own confession; which lead Turin to his ... was that not her admitting Eros? But I didn't use the 'L' word. The 'L' word leads to tragedy.

She wrapped her arms around him, entwining his hair in her fingers. "It's dangerous to love me," she said in a low tone, not quite a whisper. "Do you think you can handle that?"

Of course, he'd made some solid points regarding all he'd sacrificed to ensure her safety. The very visible scar on his chest, which she used her other hand to lightly trace, was only one evidence of proof. Following her into a vortex in which neither knew what the outcome would be, another big one. The time to argue, to protect him from the curse was too far gone. They've already crossed the line. She'd just have to protect him in other ways. She wasn't going to let some bitter old hag win. That revelation renewed Tariel's resolve, and she smiled at him, watching his eyes. "My Captain," she whispered before kissing his neck, once again wrapping her tailfin around his. ...new memories.  

[Teigra]

Seemed she hadn't expected that after all. Though, when she did react, and it wasn't to push him away, Turin relaxed and allowed himself an amused grin. He couldn't help it; the relief...he felt nearly giddy with happiness just at not being rejected bluntly. To imagine she returned his feelings...

Beyond his wildest dreams.

He noted the way her fingers tangled in his hair with pleasure, her voice in his ear like a tender caress. He met her gaze, glanced down pointedly, then back up with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "Dangerous? Yeah, so I've noticed. Trouble seems to follow you sometimes." He chuckled, stroking her cheek as he touched his forehead to hers. "I've decided it's a risk I'm willing to take."

His playful tone trailed away and Turin glanced down as he felt her fingertips, light upon his chest. Almost delicately, she seemed to trace the scars there, seeming lost in thought. He worried at first that her thoughts may have turned towards regret, or sadness, or...but then she looked back at him with a smile he couldn't help but mirror. He heard her voice, unsure whether it was what she said, or the kiss that followed that caused him to shiver pleasantly.

Bolstered by his recent success in shattering the wall between them, Turin grinned and tensed, a mischievous spark in his eyes. Feeling far less trepidation about proceeding now, he shot a suggestive look towards the kelp bed, then pulled her lithe form firmly against his with a grin. "My Queen."

---Later---

Completely spent, Turin lay prone on his back, tail fin draped listlessly over the edge of the shell bed. Exhausted...but satisfied. As tired as he was, he couldn't sleep just yet. Soon.

Shifting slightly to pull a sea sponge pillow beneath his head, he was careful not to move too much to wake the sleeping female at his side. Having made himself comfortable, he now focused on her. He shifted her carefully, her head resting comfortably on his chest. He couldn't resist smiling down at her peacefully, more at ease than he'd been in...seasons. Years maybe. Seized by a surge of protective instinct, he wrapped her in his arms, leaning down to kiss the top of her head before he settled back and allowed himself to relax. Content, he allowed the peace of sleep to claim him at last.

[FIN]