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Posted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:36 am
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Posted: Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:17 am
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It is possible that he's so used to his own hand, his own speed, and his technique that he has trouble having an orgasm with someone else's body, speed, and technique.
It's also possible that even though he's relaxed around you, he's not relaxed enough around you.
It's also possible that he does sort of have a mental block since his last sexual relationship was so bad.
Those are all fairly common issues.
Regardless of the cause, it doesn't mean that you two need to go at it for hours if you don't want to though. He probably needs time. And by "time," I mean days, weeks, or even months of slowly relaxing, getting more comfortable with you, getting more familiar with your body, getting used to the way you stimulate his body, trusting you more, etc.
I think having him masturbate while you're there is a good idea. You can kiss him or place your hand over his while he does the work. He can pleasure you first or while he's masturbating if he wants.
If that doesn't work and if you think his past sexual experience may seriously be negatively affecting him, counseling might help.
Other than that, try not to make a big deal of it or rush him. When guys feel pressured or rushed, they often tense up, which makes it even less likely to happen.
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:14 am
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LorienLlewellyn It is possible that he's so used to his own hand, his own speed, and his technique that he has trouble having an orgasm with someone else's body, speed, and technique. It's also possible that even though he's relaxed around you, he's not relaxed enough around you. It's also possible that he does sort of have a mental block since his last sexual relationship was so bad. Those are all fairly common issues. Regardless of the cause, it doesn't mean that you two need to go at it for hours if you don't want to though. He probably needs time. And by "time," I mean days, weeks, or even months of slowly relaxing, getting more comfortable with you, getting more familiar with your body, getting used to the way you stimulate his body, trusting you more, etc. I think having him masturbate while you're there is a good idea. You can kiss him or place your hand over his while he does the work. He can pleasure you first or while he's masturbating if he wants. If that doesn't work and if you think his past sexual experience may seriously be negatively affecting him, counseling might help. Other than that, try not to make a big deal of it or rush him. When guys feel pressured or rushed, they often tense up, which makes it even less likely to happen.
All excellent advice, thank you. I coerced him into masturbating in front of me this morning while I touched him elsewhere and he wasn't able to climax which probably suggests it is more of a mental block. Luckily for him I'm trained in counselling and am part-way through a psychology degree. Time to unload the big guns. Thanks again.
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