Orgasm troubles?

[Cerebus1415]

Hey. Me and my girlfriend have recently started having sex... And for some reason, even though we have sex for multiple hours (2 is our minimum) I always seem to have trouble reaching orgasm inside her (don't worry, we do it safe ^^), so we always have to finish it by hand.

While finishing it by hand does not trouble me all that much, I am worried about this because this has happened every time so far and it's making me question my own capabilities as a man. Is there a reason for this (note that I've never had sex up until this point, and I never have problems reaching my orgasms when masturbating.) and if so, what can I do to get rid of this problem, because both my girlfriend and myself are getting more and more worried about this.  

[Voldeturtle]

Sometimes people just reach orgasm in different ways. The first few times I had sex, my boyfriend at the time wasn't able to orgasm through intercourse, but it got better over time.
Don't get worked up about it though, because that will only make it worse, and your capabilities as a man are not summed up by how fast you ejaculate.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

It's common to have trouble having an orgasm when you first start having sex. It's usually due to being nervous, or due to being used to a different type of stimulation (in other words, being used to having an orgasm from the feel of a hand rather than from the feel of a v****a), or both. The problem usually goes away after a while.  

[LorienLlewellyn]

soren_alenko

I'm guessing that this applies to dudes only. Two years I've been with my boyfriend and not once have I been able to go via penetration.

My post applies mostly to men, but it certainly can be true for women too.

But usually, when a woman has trouble having an orgasm, it is for other reasons, and the issue may not be resolved quite as easily.

Women, on average, don't explore their bodies as much as men, on average. And the female body tends to be a bit more complicated. So women are less likely to know what they like. If a woman doesn't know what she likes, that makes it a lot harder for her to guide her partner during sex. Masturbation can often help with that.

Lack of communication is another common problem for women who have trouble orgasming with a partner. Some women know what they like or have a pretty good idea of what they'd like, but they're too scared to say anything to their partner. So if you think you know what would help you orgasm, or just help you enjoy the sex more, say something.

Another common issue is the "hot spots" simply not being stimulated at all/enough/properly. Some women think that they're "supposed" to orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. But that isn't true. For one thing, it's not like there's only one correct way to orgasm. For another thing, most women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, and that's ok. Some sexual positions allow the area just above the guy's p***s to rub the clitoris, while others do not. So if you orgasm just fine at other times and only have trouble during p***s in v****a sex, think about positions, the angles of those positions, and whether your clitoris is being stimulated during sex (for example, the area above his p***s can rub your clitoris in the simple guy on top position, but the angle of your bodies matters too - the farther his chest is from yours, the less likely it is that his body will be rubbing your clitoris). If you have trouble lining your bodies up or just need more direct stimulation, it's also ok to use your hands to stimulate your clitoris, have him use his hands, or use a toy.

Another common problem is that the woman will need more time than her partner does. For example, her partner might need 10 minutes to orgasm, but she might need 20. If you think time might be your issue, you can engage in foreplay that's more stimulating for you than it is for him before sex so that you can sort of catch up to where he is time-wise.