Forgotten Feathers may have been super weary of caves but being under ledges by beautiful ponds seemed safe enough. She had been walking for some time, and she had hoped that she would find her home by now but luck and clarity were not something someone simply gained overnight. Not even the reflection on this pond could show her what she really wanted, although the reflection was more than willing to steal her attention.
The bright blue eyes staring at her were quite foreign to her even though they were her own. It was rare that Forgotten Feathers ever had the chance to examine her own reflection in such a pond like this. Unlike the majority of the swamp's water, this was calm and clear. The bright shine on her throat especially visible now. She found herself losing herself in it, wondering if perhaps the doe on the other side of this mirrored surface was any better with directions than she was. Did she live a better life? Was she grounded and unable to fly? Was her dream as saddening? Was she too left behind?
The ribbit of a nearby frog finally drew her attention away from herself and back to reality. The doe seemed confused at first but slowly her senses seemed to collect themselves and her sight fell upon the very albino frog. It seemed to be staring at her and the doe seemed confused about that. Was she intruding? The thought occurred to her that this pond was probably the little frog's home. She hadn't disturbed it while looking at the pond's surface, had she?
"Oh, oh, I am sorry," she muttered. "Did I disturb you?"
She sighed, laughing under her breath a bit. The frog simply croaked at her in response, but she knew it wasn't about to actually reply. What came next was a total surprise to her though, causing her to gasp and almost fall into the pond.
"Yes, you did disturb me," a voice replied, a small laughing accompanying it.
Her neck twisted around to find the source of the voice after realizing that it definitely wasn't the frog that had replied to her. Instead, her eyes fell on quite a beauty of a kimeti with her golden curls hanging around her face in a manner that Forgotten Feathers' couldn't possibly deem was unattractive. At first, her body didn't seem to want to do anything other than stare until finally, she found herself stumbling up onto her feet to find words.
"Oh... oh, oh I am so sorry! I... I didn't... didn't mean to..." she murmured, kicking her hoof into the ground nervously.
The time it took Forgotten Feathers to come out with all that, Desire had already decided several things about the doe in front of her. She was quite meek, rather timid, and definitely not a threat to her fantasy kingdom. In her eyes, this doe would be perfect for her son. She was pretty enough and best of all she was already here. She had tried for months to try and get her lazy son to go find a doe but instead, he simply followed her around, trying in every other way to appease her. Well, she'd had enough waiting for him to go find one.
"Do not fret, I assure you everything is all right. Here, I have someone I'd like you to meet," Desire said, making a small attempt to comfort the little. Desire didn't care much whether Forgotten Feathers was comfortable but she did understand that to get what she wanted, she had to give assurances. It was all a carefully calculated plan with very specific motions with each movement.
Her assurance had been much appreciated, allowing the goose a chance to breathe.
"Sunshine," the voice demanded. "Sunshine get over here."
Without a second thought, Sunshine moved toward his mother. His bold yellow body glowing practically like the sun itself.
"Sunshine, I've waited long enough. If you won't go find a doe then I've found one for you," she said rather frankly. "Well, I'll give you two some privacy."
How nice of a mother was she? She'd saved her son all the trouble of finding a suitable doe and found one for him! There was definitely a glow on her face as she trotted away from the two 'love birds' and disappeared into the distance. The swamp seemed quiet, as if time had frozen over, leaving Forgotten Feathers and Sunshine to stand awkwardly by the pond.
Being a mother herself, Forgotten Feathers couldn't comprehend Desire. Of course, she'd barely ever seen her children after they'd grown up due to her own negligence so maybe she wasn't one to judge anyone. At least Desire seemed to care for her son, and she was around to look out for him. What could she say? She hadn't seen her children in so long. She didn't know if they had found happiness, or if they were even still alive. Did they have children? Maybe their children had children? At least Desire knew what was going on in Sunshine's life.
"Y... your mother.. she... she seems nice," she admitted truthfully, although with the way she stuttered it might be difficult to tell.
"What?" Sunshine was only able to admit. His mother was bossy, and very obsessed about things he didn't understand. She was his mother and he wanted her to be happy but nice was not exactly a word he would have used to describe her. He shook his head as if to say no, before looking over his shoulder rather cautiously and changing it to a yes. She wasn't that bad, right? What sort of son said bad things about his mother?
"Yeah, she's pretty nice." It wasn't a lie, right? She'd never let anything bad happen to him and she hadn't abandoned him. His brothers and sisters had left the nest but she welcomed him with her even though he seemed to be little use to her.
He knew that he should have found a doe a long time ago but even as he looked over shyly at the doe in front of him, he didn't feel what he knew his mother wanted him to feel. He'd actually tried the first few times to find does when his mother had insisted but in his search he'd stumbled upon a beautiful buck with what actually seemed to be little brown wings? Oh, his heart had wished that buck would sore through the sky to the sunshine. Another time he'd seen a buck with long pink hair and a deep purple flank that compared so boldly to him. He didn't think either of them had seen him, but he'd fled so quickly over his confusing feels that he couldn't be sure.
He could tell Forgotten Feathers had to be relatively attractive if his mother had tried to set them up but he couldn't tell. It caused him such confusion. Why couldn't he just be like how his mother wanted him to be? All he'd ever wanted was to make her happy but it seemed all he was doing was causing her grief. He wished he could simply pretend, give his mother all the grandchildren she'd ever want and live a life that didn't cause him such inner turmoil.
"W-what's wrong? A-are you okay?" She whispered, gently rubbing her cheek against his in concern.
"I'm sure you're wonderful, and I am not sure what my mother has told you but I'm not actually interested." He said, sighing rather sorrowfully before going on before she even had a chance to try and find the words to respond to him.
"I'm not interested in does." He corrected, trying not to make it seem like he didn't like her. "I like bucks." He admitted to himself. He didn't know what was going to happen next. Would the world suddenly explode? Maybe his mother would just appear out of no where and disown him? He'd never dared to utter those words before even if his heart had told him time and time again. He was prepared to accept what punishment the world had ready for him.
"Oh... oh Motherfather!" He yelped as the realization dawned on to him. He had thought it would be hardest to admit it to himself but he valued his mother so much more than he valued himself and the thought brought a rather gloomy expression onto him. His mother was going to hate him, never forgive him! She raved and raved about the wonderful grandchildren he was going to bless her someday with and he was pretty sure it wasn't going to work out that way.
"What am I going to do?" He choked out, definitely on the verge of tears.
This finally gave Forgotten Feathers the chance to say something but she wasn't going to let him keep talking before she finally had a chance to so it came out quite fast.
"Everythingwillbeokay." She said first before taking a breath and tapping her hoof with his. "Everything will be okay."
"What if—" he tried to say.
"She... she won't hate you." She stopped him from saying it. "She's... she's your mother."
There was no way she could say for sure but Forgotten Feathers wanted to believe that if any of her children ever said such words to her that it wouldn't change that they were her children and she loved them. To be honest, Forgotten Feathers had never met a buck that was interested in other bucks but it wasn't completely unheard of, right?
"You... you love her right? You... you should tell her."
Sunshine knew she was right but it didn't stop a rather pathetic whine from escaping him. He was scared. He was so scared that everything would change now. He could pretend everything was fine and not tell her and maybe things wouldn't change but what sort of life would that be? How many times would he come home to find that Desire once again tried to be helpful and found him another doe? He couldn't keep pretending that they weren't his type or simply no children were born from the experience. Desire would know, she would know he was lying to her. A mother always knew, or so that's what they said.
"I'm scared to, what... what..." he tried to say but in the end he couldn't even utter those words.
A voice rang in after that, and that's when Sunshine nearly had a heart attack.
"What are you scared of Sunshine?" A voice asked, almost demanding an answer. It was Desire. It was his mother.
He wondered what had brought her back so soon but his eyes immediately fell to the ground where a couple pieces of food sat. Judging by the amount of pieces there, she hadn't come back to simply eat it. She had come back to see if Sunshine wanted any.
"Oh! Mother! I'm sorry but we were... were were just..." he scrambled to say something, say anything, trying to get his mother to leave the two of them again. He couldn't face her, what if she could tell? Was it written across his face? The words he'd admitted to Forgotten Feathers surely found a permanent home on his face for everyone to see, right? He was a horrible buck liking son and it was written all over his face! No, it definitely not but there was certainly a ton of guilt lingering there. With it, his heart rate was soaring. He started to hyperventilate until finally he felt his mother's head on his back.
"Stop it," she said, trying to assure him. Maybe it wasn't the nicest way, and certainly not the way Forgotten Feathers might have but after a few moments he seemed to be breathing normally again. Relieved that her son was not going to suddenly fall over and die from lack of air, she pulled herself away from him and composed herself.
"I'll leave you two be then," she announced, turning her hoof to leave again.
"I'msorrybutshe'snotmytype!" He mumbled all his words together.
"You know how I feel about mumbling, speak up."
"She's not my type!" Okay, this time he was yelling.
"What? What do you not like about her?" Desire asked, staring at Forgotten Feathers who seemed to be backing away at the moment, definitely startled by Sunshine's yelling.
"She's a doe!" He was still yelling, and it was possible the whole swamp would be hearing him now.
"Well, of course she is." Desire didn't even consider any other meanings her son might be implying.
"I don't like does!" He might actually be yelling louder now, as if it was perhaps the volume of his voice she wasn't understanding.
"Of course you like does," she said, definitely not helping the situation.
"No..." he whimpered, finally saying as his voice stopped yelling. "Mother... I don't like does. I like... bucks." There, he said it! Afraid of what was coming, he closed his eyes as tightly as he could. The swamp was going to spite him right? Or maybe his mother was. Oh, it was going to be so horrible! Sunshine's fears definitely getting the best of him.
There was nothing though, not even a reply from his mother. It tugged at his heart so badly he couldn't even bring himself to open his eyes to see if she was even still there.
"I... I understand if you don't want me as your son anymore..." he choked out.
"I..." Desire's voice rang through, not as confident or as demanding as it typically was. She had thought on what he said but she didn't seem to know how to reply. Her son was baring his soul to her and these weren't things she was good at. She knew what she wanted in life but this had never been on the list. She'd always imagined her son would find himself a doe, but how did she feel about him finding a buck? It complicated her thoughts, more than it should have. This wasn't just her son! This was Sunshine! Ever since he had been born from her first mating, he'd always been beside her. He didn't just help her because he wanted something out of it like she helped others, he genuinely wanted her to be happy. Was she capable of the same? She was capable of trying.
"You'll always be my son, you idiot," she confessed.
There was a pause, and then slowly Sunshine opened his teary eyes.
"Really?"
Desire didn't say anything, simply kicking one of the apples she had gathered toward him.
In the distance, Forgotten Feathers watched as Sunshine's eyes widened and his heart lightened. She didn't know where she was going to go next but she knew her purpose here was over. Sometimes things weren't as they seemed, and other times they were exactly how you thought they were. The relationship between mother and child wasn't always a straight path but Forgotten Feathers was happy to see the end goal had been the same..
