[PRP] Unsatisfied (Asmar, Rasima'sahar, Jazua'dania)

[mouselet]

The striped adolescent lay in a deceptively relaxed posed, gazing out towards the border of the pridelands. Only her sharply twitching tail betrayed her emotional state.

It wasn't fair. What did boys have that made them so much better than girls? She hadn't seen any real proof. True, they tended to be a bit bigger, but size wasn't everything!

Asmar growled in irritation. For many moons now she'd felt...suffocated by the restrictions the Ukuucha'wafalme placed on all lionesses. She knew these were thoughts no Banu was supposed to have - that, in fact, these thoughts could make her a Kajira instead - but she didn't care.

Was it so much to ask to get the freedom to live her life the way she wanted to?  

[Talencia]

Rasima had been very restless of late. She'd learned the hard way to bite her tongue, via scoldings and physical punishment. Even the simple cries for her mother were punished when she was very small. It had been a slow lesson for her to learn, and although she had learned it by now, she had repressed a vast amount of smoldering resentment. Being taken from her mother had been the first of many indignations she'd endured. They now allowed Jazua, their mother, to come near them, but she had been subdued, restrained in her movements and words. Very little had passed between mother and daughter, and she was beginning to think perhaps her mother had never wanted her anyway.

She was on one of her nearly ceaseless prowls when she spotted her sister laying out in the open, staring at the distant point that was the pride's border. She didn't need to ask what she was thinking, for they both wished mightily for the same thing. Freedom.

She bounded up and then sprawled beside Asmar. "You'll get in trouble," she said briefly. Indeed they both would, if caught gazing longingly at the life they were not allowed. Her tone wasn't scolding though, only tired and faintly exasperated. Their father seemed to think he should control even their hopes and dreams. It just wasn't right!  

[mouselet]

Asmar snorted in response. At least she knew that Rasima understood what was going on in her mind. This wasn't the sister she was closest to, but they were close enough. After all, didn't they both want the same thing out of life? The thing that, because they were female, the pride said they could never have?

"Do you ever wonder what would happen if we just...left? Stopped listening to Father and all the others?" the striped lioness asked aloud. She kept her words quiet, in case there were any nearby to overhear them. Such caution was not how she wanted to live her life, but Rasima was right to warn of potential consequences.  

[Talencia]

The question further sobered the fiery spirit that dwelled within Rasima. She wanted to spout some bold, uncaring, feisty statement, but she knew better. It was a miracle she didn't have brain damage from the many heavy cuffs to the head she'd received for speaking her mind in the past. But not only that, her sister's wistful question brought to mind something she'd seen recently, and it had chilled her to the bone.

She edged closer to Asmar and lowered her voice. "I've seen what happens," she said softly, pupils widening. "Someone's banu ran away last week." She shuddered her hide, took a breath, and said even softer, "They hunted her down!" It would have been sensational gossip, had it not been the horrid truth. "I saw them bring her back. She was all beaten up, and didn't look like she'd ever think about running away again." Which, of course, was the point. She'd paid close attention to what was said around her, and the males seemed to take it as a blow to their ego if one of their females left without permission. How that translated to having the right to beat her within an inch of her life, Rasima couldn't imagine.  

[mouselet]

The striped adolescent growled deep in her throat. For them to beat a lioness so badly, just for wanting her own freedom! Oh, it hurt her heart and fanned the blaze within her. Asmar wanted, more than anything else in the world, to be rid of this place where she was...was no more than a possession! Useful only for the children her body could produce!

And it certainly didn't help that she'd heard whispers of late, about how Father was discussing which daughters he could gift to which Pads in order to gain prestige and make alliances.

The whole thing made her sick.

"Then I'll have to be cleverer than she was," the young lioness concluded aloud in a harsh whisper.  

[Talencia]

"Indeed you will, my daughter," a new voice said. Jazua had prowled up on the two girls with relative ease. Like most pride-born lions, neither were used to watching their backs from stealthiness, nor the need to protect themselves. That would have to change. She'd been watching her children, and these two out of the litter seemed the most likely to come to grief, to end up kajira as she was, merely due to spirit and the natural desire for freedom. She'd been wracking her brain for a way to help them. Oh, not to help them adjust and become cowed banu, oh no. To help them find a means to that very freedom they craved. And now, just maybe, things were beginning to fall into place.

She stood gazing down at them, but her grey eyes were no longer dull or defeated. Instead, a determination born of knowledge and resolution burned within them. "The both of you will need to be very clever, and very practiced." She shifted her gaze between her two beautiful daughters, her heart beating fast for them. If only she could save them from her fate, she'd be content. She'd lay down and let them do as they wished, if only she could get them free. "Have you thought on how to do just that, yet?"



Rasima nearly jumped out of her skin as someone spoke behind them, spinning about and pressing her belly to the ground. She stared up at the mother who had had so little to do with them in shock. It took some moments for her words to sink in, while her heart thudded madly at the idea of being caught talking about escape. She gulped, trying to calm herself and think, to hear what had been said and make sense of it. It was the look in the lioness' eyes that helped her to regain her sensibility, and to begin to grasp her intention.

She glanced at her sister, then surged to her feet. "Do you know how we could get away?" It was kind of a blunt question, not well thought-through at all, but there it was. She was too energized by the idea. Could they really run away? She cast Asmar another look, this time questioning. It had been her idea after all, so did she have any plans yet? She wouldn't put it past her to have already put some thought into it before saying anything. Then again... "Asmar?" Her tone was hopeful, but uncertain.  

[mouselet]

Asmar had frozen at the unexpected voice, fur on end. She was annoyed at herself that she hadn't even noticed anyone was nearby. Not to mention the forbidden content of the conversation she and her sister had been having. Slowly the striped lioness turned to face her mother. She knew that Jazua was a Kajira, but their contact had been limited, in order to keep mother from "tainting" her daughters.

But an important question had been asked. If she was to escape...how exactly would she do it? And, worse, was Jazua truly here to help? Asmar wanted to believe it...the grey-green eyes seemed to be alive in a way she'd never seen before.

"I think..." the adolescent began slowly, trying to put what she knew together with what she'd heard and learned, "...I think that speed is the most important part of escape. To get far enough away that there are too many places for the Pads to look for us." It seemed like a sound plan to her, but getting that time was the weakest part.  

[Talencia]

Jazua nodded slowly, but tipped her head to show that her agreement was not complete. "There is much more to it than that. You need to know how to survive, how to hide, how to hunt, how to mask your trail, and how to travel swiftly without tiring yourselves out." She sat herself down and curled her tail about her paws, noting the wary look in Asmar's expression. "Good, you are already thinking smart. Trust should be only carefully given, especially out there." She waved a paw towards the border expansively. "Getting free is only part of what you need, my daughters." Oh, how sweet it felt to say such a thing! She'd been forbidden to refer to them as such for so very, very long. Why, the two girls were nearly adults at this point! This really only made it all the more important that she act, and act fast.

"If you wish, I will help you learn these things." She gazed steadily first at Asmar, who seemed the leader, and then at Rasima. "You can practice when it is your turn to hunt, and when you have free time to roam." This made her pause and flick her tail thoughtfully. "In fact, it might do if you started offering to do the further hunting. Always come back with good game, so that they can't find fault. It will get them to trust you." She gave a rather feral grin. Time to turn the tables on those smug tyrants!



Rasima was a bit reckless and impulsive, so she didn't give the idea much thought at all. "Let's do it!" she said excitedly, bouncing on her paws like an over-eager cub. Granted, what Jazua said sounded like an awful lot of work, but she had never shrunk from hard work, and certainly wouldn't now that it might be the key to freedom.

Also, deep within her, something hard and hurt was unfolding into joy. All those nights she'd cried for her mother, all those times she'd been slapped for refusing to call the other banu "mother". All that time of grief and unhappiness, it hadn't all been for nothing! Her mother hadn't given her up, hadn't abandoned her! She did care! It was enough to make her break into warbling song, if she was the sort to sing. Thankfully she wasn't, or she might have drawn attention to their little gathering.

Ducking down close to the ground again, Rasima reduced her voice to a stained whisper. "What do you think? Should we do it?" It was sort of a moot question, since it was obvious she fully intended to attempt this, but she didn't really want to do it alone. If Asmar came with her, she felt their chances of success skyrocketed.  

[mouselet]

Asmar listened to what her mother said. She could see that there was, as Jazua stated, much that she needed to learn in order to make good on her escape, and the older lioness certainly seemed to know what she was talking about.

But.

But the striped lioness didn't know her mother well at all. Didn't know what Jazua's motivations were, why she would be offering all this aid. She wanted to believe, so very badly, but she had to remain suspicious.

"You seem to have thought long and hard about this," the girl replied. "But you're right about trust. How do we know we can trust you? And don't tell me for blood, since you know as well as we do that Father would beat us to unconsciousness if he knew what we did here."

For all Asmar knew, Jazua could be setting them up to fail and then planning to use that moment to escape herself. It was a horrible thought to have about her mother, but this was their survival they were talking about.  

[Talencia]

Jazua regarded her suspicious daughter mildly. It warmed her heart to see healthy pessimism expressed, even though it made things a little more difficult here and now. "I'm glad you are working out every possible angle, Asmar." She relaxed down into a reclining position, mulling how to go about this. "You present quite a challenge for me, since anything I say could potentially be a lie." Sad truth, that, but an entirely feasible one. She could have very well been a selfish, conniving female only looking out for herself and her own escape. Good thing for the girls that she was not. But how to convince them?

"Have you heard my story yet? Perhaps that would help you to understand." She gazed intently at Asmar only now, since Rasima seemed rather out of the equation at the moment. Not that she was a follower, but being such a firecracker, she tended not to need any prodding to imagine, or to be set off. Asmar was turning out to be a much more methodical and logical creature. Excellent qualities, which would help them greatly out in the wide world.



Rasima's eyes and mouth made great big huge O's at her sister. Why... how... !?! Such a thing would never have occurred to her! In all her dreamings and wistful imaginings, she never had strayed from the idea that their mother was a truly caring and loving mother. Oh sure, she'd begun to doubt it recently, but even then, she'd only imagined her as cold and distant, or beaten and bowed. Never, ever, would Rasima have suspected or accused Jazua of being a lying, selfish, evil mother. The idea sucked the air right out of her lungs, so that all she could do was stare between the two of them with her mouth hanging open.  

[mouselet]

Pink eyes met grey-green steadily. She had to ignore Rasima, because her sister was something of a liability at the moment, the one most likely to attract unwanted attention due to noise. She didn't know what would happen if the two of them did manage to escape, but Asmar doubted they would stick together for too long afterwards.

If only because she'd slip away when her sister wasn't looking.

But that was in the future, assuming they succeeded. Right here and now the most important thing was what Jazua offered to them, and whether or not their own mother could be trusted not to betray them to the Pads of the pride.

"If you think telling it will help," the adolescent agreed at last. Perhaps it would. She couldn't know for certain, having only heard rumors and whispers about her mother.  

[Talencia]

Jazua nodded acceptance, flicking her tail to thwap Rasima and give her a stern look. It was a motherly "Close your mouth please and behave." sort of look, and it amused her that the young lioness did exactly that. Too much training at obeying orders, she supposed. Ah well, rogue life would cure that. "Alright then. You may or may not realize that you have an aunt in the pride." She angled her head inquiringly at Asmar, then Rasima. She wasn't sure how observant the pride gossips were, nor how much rumor was already circulated about herself or Jazi. "She is my twin sister. We were part of a family pride, many days travel from here." She didn't even bother to wave a paw in a direction. It was too distant to have any real reference here.

"I came to the area because she had run away, the silly thing, thinking she'd met her true love." She snorted, clearly unimpressed by the notion. "I knew better, though, and when she didn't come back, I followed her as best I could." She paused, remembering that fateful day she'd met Raja. "The lean season was approaching, and when a male appeared, offering to take me back to his pride as his mate, I thought perhaps I could survive in the pride until the drought was past, then I could leave again." The sour look that folded her ears and made her whiskers bristle made clear that hindsight was crystal clear. "Well, you can imagine how that idea soon became impossible."

"However, by the time I realized that, I didn't mind, for I'd found Jazi, my sister." She smiled then, all her hard edges and anger smoothing to soft affection. "The silly thing had gone and gotten herself a Pad as well, but for once, it seemed to be working out alright for her. He neither beat nor growled at her, which was turning out to be better than I could hope." She shook her head. "You see, your father didn't approve of me speaking my mind, and disdained my rogue manners as unfitting of a banu. Once he found out I had a twin already in the pride, he was disgusted." Her expression had hardened once more. "Because I was no longer unique, I became unwanted and unsavory. I became kajira."

She huffed angrily and tossed her head, flinging her forelock back. "By then it was too late, though. I was pregnant with his cubs. I had hoped this would keep me from being quite as unacceptable in his eyes, but no. When you all were born, he took you from me." Her jaw gritted at the memory, and though her throat closed, her eyes blazed up, tearless. "He took you and forbid me to see you, except at a distance. I watched you grow, developing your unique little personalities. And I worried, for two of you were so free-spirited, I knew your father would either crush your spirit or reduce you to the very rank he had put me."

She paused to pin Asmar intently with her eyes. "Do you know what it means to be kajira, daughter?" Her gaze was fierce and stern, hard and unbending. It was important to get her to think, to consider all sides, to see truth when it was presented. Living in nothing but fear and distrust was no way to live. Jazua willed her to recognize honesty when it was presented, but left the girl to answer however she wished, to believe how she chose.



Rasima was so eager to accept her mother that she immediately controlled her features and limbs upon the stern visual rebuke. As she had never done before for any other lion, male or female, Rasima obeyed instantly and completely. She sat quietly and listened to the tale, sneaking looks at her sister from time to time to try and gauge her reaction. Would Asmar be able to trust their mother? She had no idea if she would or not. They were not that close. Steeling herself against the tension, she set her jaw and clenched it, holding the rest of herself in a n attentive but casual pose.  

[mouselet]

Asmar listened to the story. But she listened more to what Jazua implied than to what she said. The older lioness had lived as a rogue, therefore she did indeed know what it took to survive alone and outside of a pride. She had not come to the Ukuucha'wafalme willingly and thus it seemed likely that she was not lying about her desire to aid the two sisters. And if Jazua had to take time to teach them so many skills, then that could heal the rift that their Father had created when he'd kept them from each other.

So. The striped lioness would trust her mother.

But that mother had asked a direct question, and questions wanted answering.

"To be kajira is to be even more worthless than a Banu, so there is less care for you to be healthy and whole. To be kajira means you can be giving to any pad as...as a trading piece. And the one who accepts you will likely be owed a favor from the one who gave you," the lioness did not use the lessons she'd been taught to shape this recitation, but her own observances and disgust at how any and all lionesses were treated.  

[Talencia]

Jazua did not nod this time, her eyes hard and glittering. "To be kajira is to be a slave. To be ordered by Pad, Banu, and cub to do any demeaning task they wish." Her tail lashed, and she averted her eyes momentarily. "To be kajira means being spit on by other females, being beaten for no reason, being forced into things against your will." It had been very hard on the bold, capable lioness, and it showed in more than just coat condition or weight. Beneath the hard edges, part of her was broken, haunted by what she could not escape. Quietly, she brought her point home to her distrustful offspring. "I did not leave, because if I did, you and Rasima would be left to fill my place as kajira." She raised her eyes then, hot with suppressed fury. "I will not let him do that to you. Not to my daughters."



Rasima had gotten control of her cubbish excitement and had sobered. Into the silence she spoke quietly also. "So let's begin the ending, and plan how to get us all out." She wanted to make sure their mother knew she had no intention on leaving her behind either. What kind of thanks would that be? Jazua did not dispute this, so the orange-haired girl assumed it was accepted. "I am in for certain. Will you join us, Asmar?" The adolescent sat tall, spine stiff, adopting her mother's determined and calm attitude. Perhaps it was the mention of the 'silly' aunt that had helped her shake her goofy manner for the time being. Either way, she seemed rather improved from her previous squealing demeanor. The time for sentimental girlishness was past. This was war.  

[mouselet]

Asmar listened to the pain in her mother's words. It didn't make them any less true or any less horrible. She closed her eyes, steeling herself against them. If they failed, this would be their fate. If they failed...

Well. They had better not fail then.

"Yes," the striped lioness said at last. "Let's begin to learn the skills we'll need, and to plan our escape."

There were moons of work in their future. But, by the grace of the gods, they would have their opportunity.