[PRP] Fireless (Seide x Shunqa)

[Hopefolly]

To insult lions like him, they called them fireless. Shunqa did take offense to such slander, but only the intent behind it, rather than the moniker itself. The truth hurt, as the old saying so dispassionately told. Things like that, things that had been recited time and again for longer than any living being could know, started to lose their impact to most lions. They were of as much consequence as the word 'hello'. Shunqa did not feel that way, and he heeded that adage more as a warning.

The truth did hurt.

Truth be told, he probably was fireless. Truth be told, he was wasting his life. Worse, wasting space. The pride hadn't felt like home since the last time he'd seen his siblings. All of them.

It would have been easier if his father wasn't so... like he was. So fireless-looking. Officially, Shunqa was not one of the pride's Historians, but that was not due to lack of interest. He knew why Mpaji was there; the reason just didn't comfort him anymore than the one given for why his siblings were not.

It stung knowing how simple things could have been had his father been red and his spirit been fiery like, say, Seide's. He probably would have seen Gepeto and An and the others off without stopping to wonder why. He certainly wouldn't be thinking about it now.

They were fireless, but so was he. Yet here he was, dozing outside the dens near the training grounds he hadn't stepped onto in many, many days. The moon was all the company he kept most nights, and the sun most days. Surrounded by the others, he still felt very alone.  

[Kaelyndra]

Seide was not used to having too many things to think about. It had always been: rise, drink, train, keep social normals, sleep. Then, had come Veru. Agitation had been added to that list, and adventure had found her again.

Now, the Legate had more adventure than could be managed by a single being. Now, the Nergui threatened. It was no longer simply her mother, father, and siblings who she must visit, make time for in her life. In fact, Veru had taken up almost every spare moment she had. He was a terrible soldier, but a good listener, and a startlingly proficient diplomat.

Now she was home, and there were other worries. A lack of command, lack of respect. Seide had been gone for so long that the soldiers had forgotten how to take orders from her. Only her own task group, efficient as the Firekin came, responded how they should. She worried for the state of her homeland.

It carried in her brow, stern and wrinkled, as Seide exited the training grounds. There was still a gentle panting from her tongue, cooling her body and soothing tightly bound muscles. Practiced happened every day, whether the Legate was in the Firekin lands or not. It was a necessity; an addiction.

The worry carried further now, as her eyes stopped scanning the sands. A familiar tickle worked its way up her spine, and she shot a look back to where she'd felt startled. The Legate's head rose a fraction of an inch, ears going forwards.

"Shunqa?" It was rare for Moto'Seide to ask questions, and the tone of her voice was nearly a statement. The red-pelted lion changed course, heading to the rising breath of a figure who was not sleeping in the sand when she had left. Things changed. Seide was still young, and not used to it. It unnerved her to not have strict consistency.

"Shunqa," she repeated, loud enough for the sleeping being to hear as she grew closer; she hoped to rouse him. It had been trouble, locating many of her siblings when she'd returned. They were harder to find than expected, but she would not leave the lands without making sure they were in good health and lending an ear. Certainly, this was not where she expected to find her brother.  

[Hopefolly]

With all the endorsement being excessively communicative seemed to get, perhaps not enough recognition was spared to the fervent listener. Shunqa had always excelled at this art and that of patience. Truly a product of his upbringing, he could not see it for what it was, and instead deemed himself submissive. Maybe a coward? There had been no opportunity to know.

However, let no one call him lazy without being reprimanded for dishonesty. He begrudged much about his life, but had never, not once, turned a blind eye to his duties. He hunted as he should, sometimes more than that, and he felt a twinge of wholeness when he did. What brought on the ache was the impending feeling of loss when it went away and knowing that it always did; thinking, probably, it always would.

In hunting he felt himself freed. All lions had to hunt. There was a very universal feel to the act of it. That was why he had chosen to saddle himself with a rank lacking in glory and, frankly, importance. There would never be a shortage of hunters unless there was a shortage of Firekin.

Seide had higher ambitions, ones she'd climbed her way to before his eyes. He had a bad habit of forgetting the world did not wait for him to catch up with it.

Shunqa blinked twice, noteworthy only because of the sluggishness in which he did so. Once he was awake, he was wide awake; he rolled up, stood up, and lifted his eyes up to meet his sister's.

"Ah, Seide. I didn't know you'd returned." Shunqa still curled his tail around his back leg when something bothered him. He did so now. But he sounded perfectly content. "How are you doing? You look--"

Shunqa hesitated. It was polite to say she looked well. He would have if only she did. "What can I do for you?" For one of few words, Shunqa said much with them. He didn't ask as if she had come to him with intent to issue orders; rather, he sounded like a concerned brother who had never been that great at expressing it.  

[Kaelyndra]

Moto'Seide felt a pang in the back of her throat. The very corners of her eyes narrowed, and then the tension left. Shunqa was a hunter. He did not have to be, nor should have to be concerned with the meetings and behaviors of the military. So often was she engulfed in others of like mind that she forgot what it was like to be a civilian.

So, she nodded in his direction, accepting his reasoning as logical. "We will be here until the council has settled, and we decide our next course of action." It could be a few days, but more likely it would be weeks. If they were exceptionally lucky, and exceptionally unlucky, they would be able to stay for as long as a month or more. The implications of going so long without information and without a purpose made Seide's ears flick and her jaw clench.

"We need to catch up, Shunqa." Part of her wished he had not stood up. Her paws were sore, her eyes were sore. She would like nothing better than to join him on the soft, cooling sands, back to back. They could catch up, as it were. When she was away, she was too busy to miss her family, but when she returned she remembered how heavy that weighed on her mind.

"We have a lot to talk about." The Legate remained standing for a brief time, some sense of politeness clinging to her. Then, she grew tired of the formality. Shunqa was family, and so she simply laid down.  

[Hopefolly]

The rigid procedures his sister adhered to were a faraway problem to Shunqa. Prey didn't care how polite you were when you were going to kill them anyway. He'd only taken to standing because... He didn't know why, actually. He just had. Similar how, to him, Seide just stopped. Simple as that.

The real complications of this situation lie in her words, not her actions.

Shunqa had nothing to report of any interest. The quandary over his place in the pride was his cross to bear. A better lion could say he'd actively kept this information from her. Him? He honestly didn't consider telling her option. If someone had said he could, they may as well of told him to take flight too.

"I don't doubt you do," he replied, already contemplating all the possible things he could hear in the next few beats of his heart. Maybe someone died. Maybe there was another attack. "What's bothering you?"  

[Kaelyndra]

Breaths coming in calm, quiet, Seide stayed silent for some time. Not because she was afraid of what to say, but rather because she was carefully constructing in what way it must be said. Thoughts had a habit of muddling themselves with emotions, and the two had to be recognized, separated, and explained.

Moto'Seide had gotten very good at it.

"My worries aren't something you can help me with." It was not a mean statement, but one of fact. Seide didn't need Shunqa caught up in how to reorganize scattered troups, how to reinstate morals, the implications of holding slaves of a pride you knew almost nothing about. What was more, she did not feel the need to tell him. They were not burdens, they simply were, and they would be solved, like they had to be.

"You remember Veru." It was not a question. Rather, she was letting Shunqa re-establish names to faces. Moto'Seide doubted that her brother knew much of the ins and outs. Perhaps that the male had taken a fancy to her, that she had mentioned them briefly before they had left. "I'm seriously contemplating a family with him. The lull in military engagement would make it the perfect time."

Despite herself, she found her purple eyes had fixed on his face. Seide was searching for signs of approval, shock, any emotion. "How would you feel about nieces and nephews?"  

[Hopefolly]

""My worries aren't something you can help me with."

There was a jolt of irritation that had no chance of outlasting logic, which Shunqa had always favored over emotion. It was natural to feel vexed at such a reply, no matter how it was delivered, but that didn't make it sensible. She was right, he probably couldn't. What he knew was hunting and that had been his choice.

If he was not suited to help her, why had she beckoned him to start with? Neither of them were one for gossip, and when you got two lions like this together, there was only so much to be said without some kind of incident to prompt conversation.

"You remember Veru."

He did. Shunqa remembered things that were important to him, and what she had to say fell under that category long before this interaction. Given a little longer, he'd have established what made Veru significant enough to steal the spotlight in it.

Starting a family?

How did he feel?

He could either answer fast or with the amount of sincerity an expecting uncle should have, but not both.

"I think it's great," Shunqa replied quickly. His tail coiled around his leg again. "I would love them, of course. Why would you need to ask?"

Deep in his heart, he felt a sickening dread that spread through him like poison.
 

[Kaelyndra]

His immediate response caused her ears to go back briefly. The ex-Corporal's own tail flicked, but it did not curl. There was a small intake of breath as she considered. It sounded like a rhetorical question, but she answered it anyway.

"We're in a war." Moto'Seide rarely left any facts unsaid, whether they be appropriate to the situation or not.

"I would. . . find someone qualified to temporarily manage the Sentinels, but I cannot plan for the unexpected." She took a deep, inward breath and her brow furrowed again. This time, she did not look at Shunqa.

"Should they need it, and if you are willing, I'd like you to help raise them." Should something happen to her, or Veru, she meant. This thing, she found, she could not say. Still, should nothing ever happen to them, the children would benefit from having family members constantly in their lives. There were plenty of Firekin that would gladly manage her children, but it did not feel right.  

[Hopefolly]

War. Another thing that felt far away when it was truly as close as the day. It had not come yet, but it felt imminent as the sun.

Shunqa listened and listened only. No speaking, no thinking. He didn't want to know where she was going with this or he couldn't figure it out on his own. What difference did it make which it was? And even when she did tell him, there were things left unsaid. The implications were loud and clear despite it.

He swallowed his own breath, choking on it in dignified silence, and closed his eyes. The makings of a nod had started before he dared reopen them. From that point on, the war was close to home.

Another adage: Home is where the heart is.

"I -- Of course, Seide. Of course." He'd always been fond of saying that.

Of course he was fine with Gepeto and the others leaving.

Of course he understood why his father allowed it when their only crime was looking like him and his bloodline.

Of course it was alright if his sister died in combat. That's what Firekin did. Off to battle, off to die. At least it would be with honor. That would surely comfort her orphaned cubs at night should it come to that.

Shunqa didn't like the conflict. He didn't like to be contrary or to discourage her. But if he didn't at least ask, he would hate himself forever.

"I've -- Seide, have you thought... have you thought of if any of them look like father? If there are any huria? These Nergui lions won't... When they're forced out of the pride, you don't suppose they'll be taken hostage to spite you, do you, should there be a war?"

Forced out felt the appropriate term to use.  

[Kaelyndra]

Had she thought about it? Of course. They had taken Nergui slaves, it seemed rational that the Nergui should also take slaves. Surprisingly, and stunningly, no such incidents had occurred. One lioness had met her end at the claws of a deranged scout party. It had been so isolated, it was hard to even distinguish as being Nergui. But, of course, everyone was positive it could be nothing else.

"They will be Firekin," she assured him. There was a cold steel vibrating in the back of her throat. Moto'Seide flicked her eyes over to him. "They are strong. They'll be ready."

It was not the answer either of them were seeking. "I have considered it," she conceded. "But there is the outpost." There was the fact that she could not afford to worry. There was the fact that her gut was already beginning to churn. There were rarely emotions so powerful that Seide's physical body rebelled against her.

"There is An, too." As a side-thought, Seide added, "She sends her well-wishes. I have no doubt she will be there if I need her." They were staying in contact now, Seide was making sure of it. At times, it was a sketchy operation, but An was trustworthy eyes and ears that were constantly outside the Firekin, and Seide had always been closest to that sister.

"Perhaps the war will end by then." Moto'Seide's voice, for once, was not the cool, even, confident calm.  

[Hopefolly]

Sends her well-wishes. Of course she did. (Of course, of course.)

Shunqa stayed still and mute until he trusted his mind to act over his emotions. His stomach could twist in knots and his heart could feel fit to explode as long as these things did not threaten to verbalize themselves. Perhaps he was not such a poor Firekin after all.

"It's possible," he agreed. He never said anything about it being likely.

By then, the subject had been exhausted in his opinion. They had no reason to keep it an ongoing discussion when all points had been made. Seide was not a stupid female and he would respect her decision, whatever it might be. If it was to venture into motherhood, he would protect her cubs and guide them as best he could, no matter what sacrifices were destined to be made in the name of it. Already he was effectively shut down in his musing over whether or not to pursue a military rank. A small price to pay to appease his beloved sister.

Speaking of cubs and ranks, since she was here...

"What do you know of Azar'bijan?" he queried.  

[Kaelyndra]

The topic change was welcome. However, what it had changed to made Moto'Seide's eyebrows lift a few minor degrees.

Many questions filled her head, and the legate sorted out which was important and which was merely self curiosity. She, of course, knew much of Azar'bijan. He was inclined to have a sour mood, and seemed to gather issue with following orders from his superiors, especially her.

He was opinionated, but he held a lot of Firekin flame. Moto'Seide was under the impression that he would either learn and go many places, or make a mistake and fall very hard.

"What, specifically, are you looking to know?"

Certainly not a debrief on his military history, nor on his family life. Shunqa had asked a very open-ended question.  

[Hopefolly]

A fair question, and one he wasn't sure how to answer. He had hoped his sister would just provide him with what he needed without any further detail. Tell him Azar'bijan was ornery or cruel or something that could serve as back-up for a move he'd been pondering but hadn't made yet.

Ironic how, with the weight of their last topic off his shoulders, he was more comfortable having a seat. His tail rested on the sand, motionless.

"I talked to a cub today," he explained, "she claims she'll apprentice to him. That's none of my business, of course -- " Of course. " -- but I worry what he's teaching her already. She told me the guards are the first to die should the Nergui attack. That's not something cubs should be saying, Firekin or not. She was a young one, too. Couldn't even climb a rock."  

[Kaelyndra]

Telling Shunqa Azar was right was irrelevant, so Moto'Seide did not. Instead, she thought over the idea. How early was too early to begin talking about war? It surrounded them, all of them. However cubs were young, impressionable, their view of life should not have been wrapped in it.

Looking over at Shunqa, Seide also found her self believing that Shunqa was not looking for an assessment of morality. Rather, an assessment of Azar's other character so he could pass judgement.

"Hm," she mused. The Legate's tail had begun to smack against the sand. Some energy was coming back to her now. "Azar puts great faith in his reasoning and self," Moto'Seide relented. Enough to think it was right to tell another's child of the harsh fate of war.

"And that faith is hard to break." Which made him a good Firekin, but also a terrible soldier when he did not agree. The morals of the issue, however, were not in Seide's jurisdiction. The Legate believe Shunqa smart enough to involve the parents should the matter be considered severe, and further action would be taken by the Guard themselves should matters worsen.

Another subject change was in order. "Is sleeping in the sand what you want?"  

[Hopefolly]

Shunqa appreciated the reply. Others may have not found it that insightful, but it had helped to the degree he needed it. The shift in their topic came as no surprise, but his sleeping habits?

"That's close to gabbing for you, isn't it?" he said in jest. When was the last time he'd made a joke? Far enough back he couldn't remember it. "Are my sleeping habits making my important sister look bad?"

If not, they still weren't doing him any favors.