It's People Like This That Give Us A Bad Name

[Invincible Youth]

So, I go to school with this chick who can't seem to make up her mind. In 8th grade, she was bisexual. In 9th grade, she was straight. Last year, she was all over the place until the spring when her girlfriend got pregnant (what?) so she swore up and down that she was strictly a lesbian. Today, I find out her girlfriend left her on Sunday. Yesterday, she got with a dude. On top of that, she's all like "I love you baby we'll be together forever!" and I'm like "You JUST met him yesterday."

People like this give bisexual people such a bad name.  

[LesserDog]

I hear you, I'm one of the head commity members in my lgbt club, and there are girls like that in it.
However, while it DOES look like they're seeking attention, I think they do it to find out who they are.
Then again, it is possible they're just attention whores.  

[Taeryyn]

Anybody who would judge all bisexual people based on the antics of a single person is an idiot to begin with, so why should we care what they think?

So she's changed her mind about her sexuality a few times. Why does that matter? She's hardly the first teenager to do so, and she sure won't be the last. Many of the queer folks I know initially thought they were one thing, and then figured out they were something else. It's not uncommon, and it's not anything to feel bad about.

People who quickly "fall in love" over and over can be tiresome, especially since they seem to be perpetually involved in break-up drama, too. There were several girls like that at my high-school. We just rolled our eyes, and ignored it. Yet no one complained that they were ruining the reputation of straight girls everywhere. Probably because that would be ridiculous... razz

Whether the issue is just that she flits from person to person, or that she's a Magic 8-ball when it comes to her orientation, her behaviour has nothing to do with bisexual people in general. The girl you're describing sounds overly mercurial and silly, but anyone with an ounce of sense knows that her actions reflect on her, not everyone else.  

[LesserDog]

Taeryyn

Anybody who would judge all bisexual people based on the antics of a single person is an idiot to begin with, so why should we care what they think?

So she's changed her mind about her sexuality a few times. Why does that matter? She's hardly the first teenager to do so, and she sure won't be the last. Many of the queer folks I know initially thought they were one thing, and then figured out they were something else. It's not uncommon, and it's not anything to feel bad about.

People who quickly "fall in love" over and over can be tiresome, especially since they seem to be perpetually involved in break-up drama, too. There were several girls like that at my high-school. We just rolled our eyes, and ignored it. Yet no one complained that they were ruining the reputation of straight girls everywhere. Probably because that would be ridiculous... razz

Whether the issue is just that she flits from person to person, or that she's a Magic 8-ball when it comes to her orientation, her behaviour has nothing to do with bisexual people in general. The girl you're describing sounds overly mercurial and silly, but anyone with an ounce of sense knows that her actions reflect on her, not everyone else.

I don't think they mean bisexuals, nor am I. I think they're talking about those who flip flop on their sexuality, when they COULD call themselves bisexual and leave it at that. The person they're describing has not done that.

However, if we are on the subject of bisexuality, I personally think, girls have a more fluid sexuality then boys, and that bisexuality in boys is extremely rare.  

[Taeryyn]

Timid Mishu

I don't think they mean bisexuals, nor am I. I think they're talking about those who flip flop on their sexuality, when they COULD call themselves bisexual and leave it at that. The person they're describing has not done that.

However, if we are on the subject of bisexuality, I personally think, girls have a more fluid sexuality then boys, and that bisexuality in boys is extremely rare.

My point is that I don't understand why anyone gives a s**t whether this girl calls herself straight, bi, gay, or chartreuse. Really. Who cares if she flip-flops? In what way does that give bi people a bad name?

People change their mind, or realize new things about themselves as they get older.

Like I said, this girl in particular seems silly, but I take issue with the accusation that her silly behaviour somehow harms the reputation of bisexual people.  

[iiParadoxical]

Taeryyn

Timid Mishu

I don't think they mean bisexuals, nor am I. I think they're talking about those who flip flop on their sexuality, when they COULD call themselves bisexual and leave it at that. The person they're describing has not done that.

However, if we are on the subject of bisexuality, I personally think, girls have a more fluid sexuality then boys, and that bisexuality in boys is extremely rare.

My point is that I don't understand why anyone gives a s**t whether this girl calls herself straight, bi, gay, or chartreuse. Really. Who cares if she flip-flops? In what way does that give bi people a bad name?

Most mature people don't care. Mature is the key word there.
Most teenagers, let's face it, aren't that mature. I know that about half of the kids at my school would probably care if that girl flip-flops. Any name that she uses to describe her sexuality would be 'given a bad name' for whatever reason.

But I'm with you. I don't see why they would give a care.  

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

Actually, it isn't uncommon for people to have different sexual attractions over time. She isn't the first to do so and won't be the last. As long as she isn't doing it just for attention (and if she is, that is her problem), I don't see a problem with her trying to figure how her sexuality.

Why should it matter what others think, like Taeryyn said?  

[Anaesthetic-Angel]

Invincible Youth

So, I go to school with this chick who can't seem to make up her mind. In 8th grade, she was bisexual. In 9th grade, she was straight. Last year, she was all over the place until the spring when her girlfriend got pregnant (what?) so she swore up and down that she was strictly a lesbian. Today, I find out her girlfriend left her on Sunday. Yesterday, she got with a dude. On top of that, she's all like "I love you baby we'll be together forever!" and I'm like "You JUST met him yesterday."

People like this give bisexual people such a bad name.

LOL xp two words: Jerry Springer... Its not ok to judge ppl (unless you ONLY judge them in ur mind lol) but its totally understandable to get annoyed with their stupid actions biggrin  

[HandsomeStanly]

Well, the one your describing seems like a bit of an attention whore, but I did/do something much like that, I was never really sure what I was, so Bisexual was a sort of safe bet middel ground for me to call myself, but as I matured I sort of just dropped the name and just went with
'If I'm dating a guy at the time, I guess I'm straight, if it's a girl, better call me a lesbian."
I don't really care what title there is. To be honest all the expansive names for who and what you like to get funky with his a big headache, and to me more trouble then it is worth.  

[Elusive Hope]

Taeryyn

Anybody who would judge all bisexual people based on the antics of a single person is an idiot to begin with, so why should we care what they think?

So she's changed her mind about her sexuality a few times. Why does that matter? She's hardly the first teenager to do so, and she sure won't be the last. Many of the queer folks I know initially thought they were one thing, and then figured out they were something else. It's not uncommon, and it's not anything to feel bad about.

People who quickly "fall in love" over and over can be tiresome, especially since they seem to be perpetually involved in break-up drama, too. There were several girls like that at my high-school. We just rolled our eyes, and ignored it. Yet no one complained that they were ruining the reputation of straight girls everywhere. Probably because that would be ridiculous... razz

Whether the issue is just that she flits from person to person, or that she's a Magic 8-ball when it comes to her orientation, her behaviour has nothing to do with bisexual people in general. The girl you're describing sounds overly mercurial and silly, but anyone with an ounce of sense knows that her actions reflect on her, not everyone else.

I agree with this person!! Just because one person does it doesn't mean that everyone is going to think that ALL bisexual people do it. And not being able to pin-point her sexuality just means that she isn't sure herself. End of discussion. Sexuality is fluid, anyway, so someone that young is going to have a field day trying to figure out who she is.  

[AmeliaParadox]

why does the LGBT community care about labels so much. It should just be anyone can get with anyone, and it shouldn't be a big deal. (like in mass effect for example, no one even batts an eyelid)  

[Shanna66]

well i used to pretend i was straight, she may actually be confused. or she could be one of those little barsexual twits that we all know and hate

ive known a few barsexuals sadly. mostly its just been girls with daddy issues that just want attention from men. they do a wonderful job at giving my family reason to believe that all bisexuals are filthy little sluts  

[Invincible Youth]

She is a huge attention whore. Because of her, I keep getting people asking me "Are you sure you're bi? You're not gonna change like XX is, right?" and "Are you a whore like XX?"

This morning, she said she is definitely lesbian and she will never date another guy because she broke up with the other guy. This afternoon, she was with another guy.  

[LesserDog]

iiParadoxical

I'm sorry, but I am very mature. I care very much about it because it gives way for people to believe they change their sexuality, and may also lead to think that we ALL can be changed.

Perhaps you meant to say something else? If not, please be reassured, immature is far from how I act when I'm talking about these subjects.  

[Taeryyn]

Again, anyone who would ask you if you're a whore because some other chick is (allegedly) a whore is clearly a first-class idiot, and deserves way more of your scorn than some indecisive teenager.

Timid Mishu

I'm sorry, but I am very mature. I care very much about it because it gives way for people to believe they change their sexuality, and may also lead to think that we ALL can be changed.

I understand what you mean, but I think it's important to remember what the real problem is: the idea that being attracted to someone of the same sex is wrong. That's an issue, not the people who dance from one label to another.

It's true that there are people out there, such as proponents of conversion therapy, who are always trying to prove that sexual orientation is a choice. Being aware of these people and their tactics is certainly wise.

Still, I feel that a lot of the energy in discussions like these would be better directed at our real opponents, rather than spent on general negativity towards people who are perceived as being "attention-whores"/"promiscuous" or those who flip-flop about their orientation. 3nodding