[PRP] So Happy . . Together? (Rahim & Jazi)

[Uta]

((AIM RP between Talencia's Jazi and my Rahim!))

It had been wonderful to see Jazua and realize that they were back together again, somewhat. She hadn't quite realized how much she had missed her twin. But seeing and talking with her had reminded Jazi of what had brought her here... the search for true love. She allowed herself a great, unhappy sigh. She tended to supress such feelings, as well as such expressions of them, when anyone else was around. Currently though she was alone in the den. Rahim was off doing whatever it was Pads did, and his other banu was hunting, as it was her turn to do so. Jazi had a more solid head on her shoulders now than when she had first arrived. There were certain realities one had to accept about life here, and they didn't much allow for fanciful notions. She felt proud of herself for having matured enough to be okay with that. However... sometimes... when all was quiet, her heart yearned for that special, unnamable something that she had sought before, that taste of devotion and completeness that she was sure existed, despite her naive notions when she'd left home. But it did not seem that this was to be so for her, with her Pad longing for another, and another female to share him with already. She could accept it, be content, and make a life for herself with this situation. She lifted her head from her paws and determinedly forbid her tearing eyes to cry. No, it was much better to remain sweet and gentle and pleasant, for that helped the situation. Weeping like a heartbroken child helped nothing. With this firm determination, she rose to her paws and began to tidy the den, humming softly to herself.

 

[Uta]

Rahim wasn't entirely happy with the way things had turned out. It amazed him how different his life had turned out then he had once planned, once hoped. When he had left the pride to find his first banu, as was tradition, he had left with a happy heart and so much hope. He had the love of his life waiting for him, and he was certain the king would accept his offer to take her as his banu. Surely the king could haven't have been blind to their budding friendship. . .

But when he had returned, banu in tow, the life he had known was completely gone. His mother was no long his father's banu, smitten with some outsider; worse, Suha had been given to his half-brother and, perhaps most painful of all, was the knowledge Suha gave birth to sons. Two boys. . . two boys that were his own, but sons he could never, ever claim. He could only look on as they lived, could only be known as the Pad who was friends with their omther, never knowing, and never able to admit such a thing.

It had been a hard knock to Rahim's pride, and it had left him spinning. Sure, he had Ly and Jazi but . . . .he had set his whole heart on having Suha too. Days had turned in to weeks, and Rahim felt as if he was going through the motions of life. He acknowledged his banu, took care of them, but he had been distant at best. Avoidant. The depression he had stumbled upon hit him hard . . . . but it was something he wouldn't permit himself to truly express.

Only recently though, it occurred to Rahim it was time to lion up. He was slowly accepting that Suha might never be his, and she had been scarce. She was avoiding him, most likely, and in part he couldn't blame her. But duty called, and he knew Suha was not his to worry over. No . . . he had two other banu who needed him. Hadn't he promised his mother once to be the best Pad ever?

Well he was certainly doing a poor job of the matter. No. . . Today, he decided, he would turn over a new leaf. He would be there for both Jazi and Lycaena. . . . they wouldn't so soon forget him, and he would build a relationship with each of them. They were his to protect, to care for, and love. . . and that was what he was going to do.

But there was no way itw ould happen if he kept them at such a distance. So it was time to dedicate time ot them, to prove to them they weren't just pawns in some political gain. No . .they were his damnit, and he would make sure they lacked for nothing.

Trotting silently in to the den, the scents he picked up proved he wasn't alone. Jazi was within . . . Good. Ly wasn't around at the moment, which was just as well. Between the two, he knew he had betrayed the former and likely hurt her much more deeply then the white adventerous butterfly lady he had whisked away. . . .

He sat down near the mouth of the den, blocking the sun and allowing his eyes to readjust. He said nothing, not sure what to say . . . Perhaps silence was needed to start. He couldn't explain himself to her, he'd just have to . . . show. Through actions. Through time. There would be no more pining, not over a banu that was not and likely would never be his own.  

[Uta]

She was pawing the sand off a rocky pathway and back into a sleeping area where it belonged when she heard his step. As usual, she beefed up her cheerfulness, inside and out, so that when she turned to look at him, it was with a welcoming smile that was genuine. She couldn't exactly say she was affectionate about her Pad, but he never harmed her, and certainly sounded more appealing than what her sister was dealing with currently. She truly did count herself lucky, just not in the way she'd dreamed since she was a cub. She bowed her head respectfully, stopping her work to face him fully. "Pad Rahim," she greeted him. "Is there anything you need me to tend to?" Usually this was the reason he came to her, to take care of some task that needed doing. She intentionally always offered a willing paw to anything he asked her to do, and took care not to complain. She did not wish to seem ungrateful or uncaring. Ah, if only he'd let her.... well, be that as it may have been, it was not how it was. She sat politely to wait for his reply, head slightly lowered in deference to his authority.  

[Uta]

Rahim had long since noted how deferential and considerate Jazi was. She always seemed so cheerful, so happy, so . . . bright. The sunshine (even if it wasn't genuine) had always seemed too bright, stark against his cloudy mood. But . . . .tdoday it was a welcoming sight. Even if he was wise enough to understand that it likely was a sort of facade.

He knew what he had said, what he had done to get her to follow him. He had devoted himself to her, had called her his lost and missing love. He had made up a story just to get her to follow . . . . and then dashed her hopes without batting an eye. He didn't regret having her with him, but part of him wished he might have been able to capture her without lies or deciet.

Giving a shake of his head, the lion gave a small, dismissive wave of his paw. "No. I came here purely to escape the sun's wrath." He amitted quietly. It wasn't exactly the truth, but admitting he came to spend time with her might make things awkward. Or put her on the spot, or cause her to instantly mistrust his intentions. He'd long since broken her trust. . . .to gain it back was going to take work.

"There's no need to be so formal, remember. I'd prefer if you and Ly were simply yourselves." And that WAS the truth.  

[Uta]

She nodded acceptingly at his reason for coming in, and had begun to turn to continue her work, but stopped at his further comment about being herself. She paused, giving him a quizzical look. It wasn't that he insisted on formality before... he hadn't. She had felt it was the best way to remain in his good graces, though, since this seemed to work with other Pads, particularly the disagreeable ones. She had been afraid one surly old lion was going to eat her the first time she'd greeted him with a chipper trill of a hello, during her first few days here. Oh no, it had been much safer to remain neutrally polite and formal.

But now to have her Pad state that she was supposed to be herself, combined with her recent thoughts on what had been before... well, the timing was odd. She opened her mouth to say something, paused, and shut it again. She honestly wasn't entirely sure what he meant by "being herself", since he had never welcomed any familiarity before. Did it mean to act as she normally would and ignore him? Or to not smile when she didn't feel like it? Or something more? She blinked in a confused way and swiped a bit more sand into the sleeping pit.  

[Uta]

Rahim hadn't moved since he had sat down within the entrance. He kept his crimson gaze on her through half-lidded eyes. He wasn't staring, but it was easy enough to see thats he was the focus of his attention. He could easily enough ignore her, if need be, but . . . that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to better get to know her, to be more of an important aspect in her life then he had. In part, Rahim knew he should offer her an apology but . . . . his pride was too strong and she was still too new. He couldn't let himself appear weaker then he'd already been these past few months.

No. His apology would come with time. . . and with actions. Hopefully.

He was an intelligent lion, even if tradition clouded some of his judgements. He wasn't a master when it came to sweeping lionesses off their paws legitimately and even now, he didn't wish to force anything. He just wanted to get to know his banu, to put them where they belonged as his banu. Even so . . .he was being pressured to choose a Beybanu - while the revered title had been held off for Suha. . . he couldn't hold out forever.
And he wouldn't. Life would go on. Suha had her life, and her cubs, and he had . . .two banu. It was time to make things right, or at least try to do such a thing. It was going to take work though.

While he watched Jazi, he saw her body language shift. In to what, he wasn't sure. . .was there now a tenseness in the air? An awkwardness? She opened her mouth as if to speak and closed it without a word. The lions tail flicked a bit, not quite annoyance, more . . . curiosity. Giving a small shrug, he added softly, "Though if you're more comfortable keeping titles and tradition, then do what you may. Whatever you prefer."  

[Uta]

Now this was indeed puzzling. She slanted a puzzled, sideways look at him. He hadn't catered to her in such a way since he'd brought her back. One part of her warned her that he was being duplicitous again, and wanted something more of her than he thought she'd give otherwise. Cubs, perhaps? Strange thing was, she'd have given him cubs willingly, if he asked it. She did not need to be coerced. Another part of her, though... it dawned into a niggling hope, one she did her best to brush away. Such fanciful hopes were not for living real life. They had only led her astray in the past, after all.

"I am alright with calling you whatever you like," she said honestly, raising her eyes to look at him directly. "You are who you are, regardless of the name used. You are to me the same, whatever title or name I call you." She gave a slight shrug and a half smile. "So if you like me calling you Rahim, I can do that." She stopped just short of adding that she'd do whatever he wanted, but the sentiment hung in the air, both resigned and wistful at once.

And yet, he still sat there, as if waiting for or wanting something. She tipped her head to the side and considered him more closely. "Are you certain you don't need anything?" she asked, her tone thoughtful and cajoling. He looked almost uncomfortable, but not terribly awkward. Something was up, she was certain, but she also was determined to make the best of it. "It's alright to ask... you never know what the answer might be until you do." The last was added impulsively, a flash of her more playful and laughing nature, which had been missing since she'd discovered he did not love her.  

[Uta]

Rahim wasn't the best when it came to showing affection, or even growing close to others. He had been raised in an odd family, one where his mother had been looked upon unfavorably despite her willingness to please; furthermore, his father while he respected the vizier, he didn't focus much on his first batch. Rahim had been first born and was eldest out of ALL of his siblings, it was something he wore with pride, and yet . . . he'd also been detached. His brothers had a close bond, but it wasn't something Rahim felt in return. He tried to look after his sisters, but most were given away at a young age. . . . The olive coated lion was a proud creature, but he had always been just a little detached.

Suha had helped open him up, as well as his mothers words and teachings. This kept him from turning heartless or cruel, but . . . times had changed. He wasn't young and innocent anymore, and opening up was hard to do. If he were truly going to manipulate Jazi, that was one thing - Rahim was an expert when it came to games of the heart and mind. It was something he inherited from his father, and shared in common with some of his brothers. But . . .on that same paw, he didn't want to manipulate Jazi any longer.

To be genuine, to trust another, that . . . would be tricky. But it was something that was worthwhile to him, at this moment. It was something he had to do else he would never get over Suha. And getting over the blond lioness was something that he wished to do. He had mourned over his lot long enough, it was now time to live. . . and be thankful for what he DID have. His banu were no kajira, and he would not turn in to his father and neglect them. His mother had suffered at Tariq's neglect and lack of love long enough. . . that was something he was close to doing to both Ly and Jazi, and it was something he would refuse.


His ears pricked as the lioness finally spoke. Her eyes met his own, and he caught them in his own crimson gaze. "I have no preference. You should call me whatever you wish to call me. I will answer to just about anything. . . provided it isn't something too ridiculous." He hastily added, almost offering what could have been a small, good-humored smlie.

It was a rare expression on the typically serious male. "I don't think I could pull of something such as Buttercup." Was that . . a joke? HUMOR!? Who knew he had it in him. Still, the lion fell quiet, his expression falling as qiuckly as it had appeared. The silence that so often accompanied was quick to return, though it wasn't terribly uncomforotable.

He considered Jazi's words, especially when she implored him once more. Did he need anything? Not . . .offhand. Giving a small sigh and shrug, the lion finall conceded. "I appreciate the sentiment, but there is nothing I came to request. Though your company is a pleasant change." Pleasant, but different. . . .  

[Uta]

Her eyes widened and she warmed inside at his uncommon smile. But his further change into humor startled a laugh out of her, eyes twinkling at the idea of calling him such a silly name. What a wonderful change in him! But just as unexpectedly as it had come, it was gone again. No more smile, no more light-heartedness. Despite that though, the laughter remained in her eyes, brightening her expression. Her ears were more relaxed, her cheekfur fluffed with a smile, whiskers spread with interest.

She, of course, had no idea what his background was, why he was the way he was. She tended to simply accept him for how he acted, whomever he presented himself as. Something was definitely different today, though, and she rather liked the change. Even without the silliness, his desire for her company was very welcome. "I am always open to providing company," she affirmed, smiling gently at him. "We can talk, if you like... perhaps tell me about your life? I could tell you about my sister," she wasn't sure if he was aware she had a twin, and that she amazingly appeared in the same pride suddenly. "I also don't mind if you'd just rather spend time here with me while I tend the den." She suddenly got a little shy, dropping her eyes and scuffing a pawpad through the sand. "We could go hunting sometime together, if you still wanted to spend time together." It was such a nice change, she didn't want it to end. How lovely would it be if he continued wanting her company?  

[Uta]

Rahim saw her body relax, even just a touch, as he lightened up. Though he was once more no longer smile, his expression wasn't solemn or angry. It was neutral, calm, and he had yet to take his gaze from her. He liked that her expression had changed with one laugh, one douse of ease and good humor. That was more reminiscent of what he remembered seeing on the savannah when they first met. It was something he hadn't realized had been missing since her arrival. . . . since the truth.

It was something he found wanting to see again.

Perhaps with time . . . While Rahim wasn't perhaps the most social of individuals, he was quite interested in puzzles. And right now, both Jazi and Ly were still a bit of a mystery to him, more so the green lioness then the white. He had spent more time with Ly then he had Jazi, and so he wanted to mend such a scenario. He would piece together nuances and moments. . .he would come to know her over time, and he would learn what buttons to push and when. But unlike the lion he used to be, in his youth, he would not use those knowledges to manipulate.

No. He would merely take note. . . to learn. There was much about Jazi he knew nothing of, they were both strange being, brought together in a series of misfortunes. What he knew of Jazi was her desire for love. . . it was the card he had pulled to bring her here. And what Rahim yearned for was love that he would never have. Funny how such an emotion could be so . . . cruel.


Her words surprised him though. She welcomed his company? And was willing to provide it? That did surprise the lion, and he found himself raising a brow in response. He would have thought his company would have been unwelcome, and she reject him. Granted, she could only say such things to please him and stay on his good side, but even then. . . she didn't seem the sort. Complascent as she might be, at this moment she seemed to encourage him freely. "I would like to know about you. I was unaware you had a twin." So he was a little out of the loop - while Rahim liked to stay on top of details, lately he'd been so deflated and depressed he just hadn't had the time. "I always liked to know the banu of the pride, and would like very much to learn more about you."

As Jazi continued to encourage his attention, he watched as she dropped her gaze and seemed suddenly a bit bashful. Was it something he'd said? Was she pulling away? Maybe . . . But then she made her request. A hunt exposition. It had been awhile since he'd hunted, especially now that he'd two Banu to tend to such matters. But the idea wasn't unappealing. Giving it some consideration, he gave a small grunt and nod. "All you need do is tell me when. Some exercise and a little roaming would do me good, and the company welcoming."  

[Uta]

She noted that he'd side-stepped talking about himself. This disappointed her, but probably was to be expected. Well enough that he seemed interested in her now. It was a very good start, belated as it was. She counted her blessings, and remained open to him. "Yes, I have a twin. She's technically older than I am, like a big sister, though we are the same age. She came her not long ago with...," she paused to think back, "Pad Raja, I think it was?" She nodded to herself. "She was looking for me, when I ran off...," she trailed off again and her face heated. Looking back, she'd been so foolish, and look where it had gotten her. She held back a sigh, and continued the short tale. "She agreed to come here with Pad Raja, but I don't think she's very happy at all." It was said sadly, with sympathy and caring in her expression and voice.

She brightened at his agreement to a joint hunt, though. Another good sign! Perhaps... perhaps with all this interaction, things could change. Things could get better. Happier. And maybe... well, that was not a hope she was willing to entertain yet. Who knew how long this change would last. She gave him a respectful nod. "Tomorrow is my day to hunt, if you would like to join me." She followed this up with a tentative but more genuine smile, one laced clearly with the hope she did not wish to admit to herself.  

[Uta]

10:06 am
Rahim had indeed side-stepped the question about family, but it was something he didn't usually care to discuss. His family life had been backwards, far from easy, and certainly far from loving. Tariq'ra'd was an unusual lion, and while he respected his father, he didn't love him by any means. Ukoo, on the other paw, was a different matter. One only needed to get him to speak of his mother, and they would find them face to face with a much more open individual.

Yes, he was a Mama's boy. . . and no, he had no shame in admitting such a thing.

But for the moment, he took note of Jazi and her words. As she spoke of a sister, a twin, he tried to imagine what she might be like. Was she colored similarly, a green, was her personality just as cheerful? Perhaps more serious, if she was indeed the 'older' of the two. . . . But then Jazi admitted she'd come to the pride. And was Pad Raja's!?

There weren't many who sported the name. . . and a sinking feeling suddenly caused his stomach to churn. While he thought the female foolish for seeking out Jazi, especially by coming in to a pride such as the Ukuucha'wafalme, he also worried that perhaps she was planning on some sort of escape. With how distant he had been, he was surprised Jazi was still around at all.

"Not many come here of their free will." He admitted cooly, knowing quite well neither of his banu were originally from the pride at all. Part of him wondered if that might need to change, so there was insider influence. He had hoped Suha would fill the role but . . . it was fooolish of him to keep holding out. "Though our ways seem foreign to outsiders, it works for us and our kin. If your sister is with Raja, you will likely cross paths with her. Raja is my younger half-brother." He gave a small snort and a non-chalant shrug. He hadn't grown close to any of his siblings (half or otherwise) and knew full well of Tariq's favoritism.

"I hope for your sisters sake she settles. Though I . . suppose it is good for family to here." He couldn't speak confidently of such matters, as it concerned him that maybe, just maybe, this sister would be a bad influence on his own banu; especially if one wanted nothing more then to leave!  

[Uta]

She figured that while they were sitting here talking, she might as well attend to her duties as well. She mostly kept her eyes on her Pad, but busied her paws with sweeping the sand back, removing scattered bones and tufts of hide, and gathering clumps of fur that had been groomed out. She had slanted him an odd look when he spoke of not coming here of free will, but she did not glare accusingly, nor seem hurt. She let him keep talking, though she raised a brow in surprise at the news that apparently now she and Jazua were twice related.

But at his solemn declaration concerning Jazua settling, she gave him another intent look. Was he worrying about waht she thought he was worrying about? Why, he probably was! She stopped her work and padded directly up to him. She sat down and looked steadily into his eyes for a moment before speaking. "Rahim, you may not have been entirely honest with me when you brought me here, but... that doesn't really change anything." She swallowed hard, realizing that denying her hopes did not banish them. "You not loving me does not change my wanting to love you." It was hard to say, and it was clear her throat was tightening around the words with unshed tears. "It does make it harder to try to love you, but I have not let it change my agreement to come be your banu. I may not be from this pride, but this is my home now, and you are my family." She swallowed hard again and nodded her head slowly. "Yes, it is wonderful to have my sister here, but my promise was to you, not her. I am your banu, and I will not willingly change that."

There. It was said. It had been hard to admit, but she had decided it was high time he realized her position in the matter. She had bravely held his gaze the whole time, though occasionally his face was blurred with tears that she did not let fall. The question was, was he ready to hear what she'd said?  

[Uta]

The black and olive coated lion had done his best to keep his expression level, his concerns hidden. Part of him had instantly started working out a plan on what to say to Jazi concerning her sister. One couldn't blame him for growing alarmed -- she had admitted that her sister had come seeking her, and had come to the pride most unhappily. It wasn't a long hop from seeking out a sibling to designing some grand escape. . . After all, while it was rare, some banu did manage to leave and disappear. Honestly, Rahim couldn't let that happen. He liked Jazi, even if he had once thought her a bit of a fool. She had been outgoing and had once been full of hope. . . she was fascinating to him, as most of his life was lived under the shadow of seriousness.

But then, everything changed once more.

While she had diligently resumed her work as they spoke, Jazi just as quickly turned and padded up to him. She sat down before him, and part of the lion wondered what it was she would say. Would she beg him to release her? Would she request something of him that he wasn't ready to give? There were many things Rahim had prepared himself to hear, but the words Jazi spoke were something that caught him once more off guard.

He kept his expression steeled, holding tight to her gaze even as the lion attempted to discern her meaning. After everything that had happened, after he blatantly lied to her, after he manipulated her feeling so she would return to the pride with him, after . . . all was said and done she wanted to love him!?

Rahim was still as rock as his brain attempted to process the words. He used to think love was foolish, somethign stupid. But he had experienced love, and he knew love was something his mother had never recieved . . . Here he was, in love with a lioness whom he could never have, and stringing along two others as his own.


Could Jazi really come to love him someday? Perhaps most importantly, could he learn to return that love? The sting of Suha wasn't quite as apparant, and though it hurt him to have to watch his sons go without his guidance. . . at the same time. . . there would be other children and even other loves. Part of Rahim felt as if he was in a situation similar to his fathers - but instead of Ukoo crying out for love and being spurned, it was Jazi. The only difference was Rahim had no intention of spurning her.

There was something tragically beautiful in their situations. . . . and yet, they were bound by something common. A desire for love.

Dipping his head, in a moments reverence towards the green lioness, Rahim gave a small smile. Maybe for the first time he really was starting to notice the green banu he had returned . . and what he saw, he could appreciate and enjoy. Reaaching out with his large paw, he rested it upon her own in a rare moments display. "It does my heart good to hear such things. I don't expect you to love me, or even come to such a conclusion, but . . . you are my banu. And while I've been distant in the past, and pining over one I will never have. . . I will no longer be blind to the blessings the gods have granted me." He wouldn't and couldn't promise love, but he would make sure they lacked in nothing. . .

Time was a funny thing, after all. Even his own father, Tariq'ra'd, found love and happiness with some of his banu. Who was to say with time, he might not find such joy with his own life.