Welcome to Gaia! ::

The plan was flawless. TACO would take one of his newly made children to the shopping district. There would be ladies there, because nothing draws females out like cheaply made goods on sale. The only thing that ladies loved more than spending money was cute kids.

TACO weighed the pros and cons of each child. PARTY looked most like him because of his curly locks, and thus was the cutest. Unfortunately though, he was always shouting something. Ladies don't dig loud kids. You can't have your mojo-prop asking embarrassing questions.

Taquita was a clear no because she was such a downer. She would probably want to go to the book store, and TACO was not feeling the "smart lady" vibe. He didn't want to pick up a female that was into books and reading; he wanted a lady that knew how to have a good time. Besides. TACO never learned how to read.

That left Draft Punk. Draft seemed to be the most ambitious. He wanted to be a frontman while his brother only aspired to bang the drums. The only person lower on the lady totem poll than the drummer was the bassist. In TACO's eyes, that made Draft the smartest of the litter.

TACO gingerly strolled around with his head up in the air and his lips open and in a seductive half-pout. His little wing-man was so going to get him laid.

For a moment, TACO beamed with pride. His son wanted a keyboard. He would have preferred that he wanted a keytar, because then Draft could have pranced around the stage instead of being stationary, but it was a start.

There would probably be some ladies hanging out around the music store waiting for some rock star to walk in. He couldn't disappoint them; they didn't make rock stars bigger than TACO. Oh yeah.

"We can go look at keyboards. If you find one you like, and promise to piss off your mom by playing it all the time, I might even get one for you." TACO enjoyed Scent Puff, and he would have liked to enjoy more of her, but she was as cold as ice sometimes. Lady needed some zest in her life. Maybe hearing Draft sing rock music all the time would make her desire to run over to TACO's place and make even sweeter music.

TACO didn't understand this new music. It didn't sound like rock or roll. He had to admit though that Draft was really good. It may not have sounded like one of the songs he would have sung himself, but maybe that's what the ladies of the future were into. His son was ahead of the curve. Smart boy.

It seemed like a small crowd was gathering around and watching. TACO spied one of the employees. She was a fox. Well, not really, she was a Phony. He approached her first and foremost to inquire about the price of the electric noise maker that Draft was playing on. Second, to check if she wanted to take him into the back stock room to retrieve one that was not a floor model that they could take it home.

Also, so he could bang her.

He whispered into the salesperson's ear while he watched Draft closely to see how he was going to react to his growing fans.

TACO noticed how uncomfortable his son was. He was a little disappointed that Draft didn't suck up the energy of the crowd like he did, but that was something he would probably learn in time. It was time for him to put his daddy pants on and go and help his son out. He shoved the employee out of the way, and walked over to Draft. TACO just couldn't stand to see him looking so sad.

He thought he'd make him feel better the only way he knew how, by being fabulous. TACO grabbed one of the mics and plugged it into an amplifier. He cleared his throat, "Ladies and gentledudes. Give some applause for my son, Draft Punk!" While they were clapping, he leaned in and said to Draft, "Do you know any of my songs? Start playing, and I'll sing it. We'll tag team them for a good show."

This was sure to work for both of TACO's goals; his son would build confidence, and TACO would get to show off how great he was and impress the ladies.

TACO jammed out though the song's introduction. This was going great! Draft looked happy, and the ladies looked hungry. Now to show his son why you wanted to be mobile around the room.

Knowing how to work a crowd was the important part, and TACO climbed up on the sales counter. He pranced around and shook his flank in time to the beat. His dancing was legendary in Phonyland. TACO turned to face the crowd and looked at each of them with his best "come hither" stare. He let his sultry desire flood the room with passion.

TACO made eye contact with a lady; she was a deep shade of pink, and was wearing leopard print leg warmers. Her purple mane was teased out, and a wonderful ball of poofiness. All in all, a classy broad. He slowly approached her, one step at a time he got closer, and he felt the pull between them.

And then, he walked right off of the counter, and fell on top of a stack of accordions. His face smacked into a set of keys and all of them made a long wining sound as the wind escaped out. This was the least cool thing he had ever done.

A small smile started to spread on TACO's face. It was actually kind of funny. It wasn't going to get him any points in any ladies' books, but it was at least amusing. And painful... can't forget that. He was probably going to have bruises all over. Maybe he could still turn this to his advantage and get somephony to take him home and tend to his wounds.

Draft looked really really upset though. That wasn't good. TACO had to figure out a way to turn this day around for his son. He had to get him to laugh.

Thinking too much made TACO's head hurt, but he really tried to think of a way to do something funny. He could fall into a pile of something else, but that didn't seem to amuse Draft the first time. 'Think, man, think....'

TACO stood up, and dusted himself off. There had to be something he could do. He got it! He'd try to make some of that new pop music that Draft liked. Grabbing the mic, TACO began to rap out some words,

"Hey Draft, smiling is fun
way cooler than gum.
But if you had some,
you should share it, son.

I like my meat cooked well done.
And that's how I like my ladies too....um,
TACO is a player, he could woo a nun.
I'll do anything for those buns.

When I go out, I hit home runs.
I'm not a dude you shun.
Some cake is better than none.
Record this if you want to hear it in rerun.

....word."

This was sure to make his son smile. TACO was communicating to him in his own language!

Well.... at least Draft thought his rap was funny, even if he didn't like it. TACO was going for more of a "shock and awe" feel, but the end result was the same; Draft was happy.

TACO rubbed his hoof in his son's mane playfully. "Alright, you have yourself a deal! Now let's find a salesphony to bill this to my record label's credit card. I usually charge a fee for a public appearance like this, but I don't think they're going to let us just walk out of here after I made this mess. Oh, and tell the lady which keyboard you want, and tell her I'll pay her for that personally later when her shift is done."