[PRP] I have returned

[jinxgirl5]

Apries couldn't stop his eyes from constantly roving over his surroundings, and breathing deep lungfuls of air. There was an odd aching sensation in his chest coupled with a slightly bitter taste in his mouth, and an odd stinging in his eyes that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the wind.

It had been a long time since Apries had last seem this land, his birthplace and home. It was inevitable that every place he'd been to on his journey would to compared to this, and no matter what the outcome of this particular trip he would probably always think of these lands as home. Oh, he'd missed it so!

A tingle of fear tainted what would have otherwise been an enjoyable trip for him, a fear that would have sent him running in the opposite direction had he been his younger self.

He was still a juvenile the last time he'd set paw on these lands, barely grown out of kithood and still just as meek. Apries wasn't sure why he'd had such a servile nature, and it honestly could have been from such a number of things that he'd stopped trying to guess long ago. He knew consciously now what he'd subconsciously thought back then, that he was still not ready for all the expectations of him and wouldn't be until he found his courage on his own terms.

Of course he'd taken it to a bit of an extreme, leaving the tribe and running off on his own. 'I didn't even have my piercing or tattoos or shawl at the time,' he thought, self-consciously tugging the blue material around his neck a bit straighter. In hindsight he could have stayed behind and roughed it in the wilder parts of the territory Kemet claimed, or done something else of a similar nature to gain the courage and independance he'd been seeking.

'But if I hadn't left, I'd have never met Lani-Ai,' his mental voice countered, 'And there's no telling if that would have worked anyway, when you knew the tribe was still nearby.' Apries sighed. Yes, he'd finally found what he'd been looking for and didn't regret the journey. He just wished...

'No good to think that. If wishes were stars then the sky would never be dark. Wishing won't change a thing. I'll just have to accept the consequences.'

Apries paused for a moment to rest, letting his eyes roam the land and reflecting on all that he'd gathered about his old home from his travels. 'An official tribe now. Everyone must be so proud! They even attracted a Guardian! I heard a couple others have been joining, so I'll bet that means more couples. Wonder if those two permas are still there? And how many new members are Phims?' Apries cocked an eye to the sky at that thought, then got up and resumed walked.

'Wonder if Horus is a proper Elder now. He must be if Kemet's official now. Wonder if that growth spurt hurts, or if they do it gradually.'

On Apries' mind went, turning over questions in an attempt to distract himself from his fear and gathering his courage for the meeting to come. This trip had a purpose, and though he was a little afraid of how others (Especially his family!) would recieve him he refused to let his hard-won determination waver.

He actually did have a plan, for all he seemed to be marching along until he hit something. When he was a kit he'd found some very good hiding spots, secluded little places that, if they'd all been found, probably wouldn't be used for much anyway. He was going to the best hidden, for it was still on Kemet lands but close enough to the fringe where the risk of being spotted was low. Assuming someone didn't find him and report him first, Apries had a feeling that Horus would know he was there. It might have been hubris to even consider it for it would mean he thought himself special, but wouldn't the Deities be watching and let their chosen know what was afoot?

'I'd be a fool to assume what the Deities are going to do,' Apries thought, casting a mental apology just in case he was practicing hubris. Well this was just his first plan, since it seemed least likely to stir things up. It was still morning, so if Horus didn't find him by dawn of the next day then Apries would just march into the tribe itself, or as far as he could before he was discovered. Kemet wasn't a hositle tribe, but for the sake of his nerves Apries was really hoping the first plan would work.  

[Nasaiki]

In the history of elders, this had to be the most stupid thing the modeities had ever sent him on. Horus didn’t quite even remember what he was doing on this side of the river however whatever it was the errand had him on the wrong side when flood season had decided to hit, unfortunately it was different than last year and the flooding went way past what it was supposed to. Sufficient to say he was stuck, Persephone and Kaname where going to kill him.

After all it had taken him a better part of two weeks to find a place not filled with crocodiles to safely cross. “Stupidest thing ever, never going on one again. Should have just sent a phim after all I have a phim scout. No I had to go myself” Horus mumbled. Yes he could be very unelderlike when he felt like it. He hadn’t even gotten to see everyone with their new spiffy mods. However he had seen Anubis get the little symbol on his ball. What did the ball do anyways it had to be a pain to carry around.

“Focus Horus focus, you need to get home to your tribe and to xinder who still wants to kill you for lying to her” Horus shook his head. Luckily he knew plenty of ways to get to where most of the tribe lived. It helped growing up here when he was just a kit. “Oh Hi Apries” he said on autopilot seeing something red black and orange out of the side of his eye. He continued onwards still slightly mumbling to himself before he realized what he had just said.

Why would apries of all things come to mind? He hadn’t been in the sun that long so he shouldn’t be seeing any hallucinations. Yet he had to have some reason for saying Hi Apries. After all the young male had left the tribe to Horus supposed see the world. Plus there where plenty of things that where black orange and red. He stopped and slowly turned around.  

[jinxgirl5]

Apries had gotten settled into his hiding place and resigned himself to wait. It wasn't all that hard to do; he might not have the years of experience of sitting in one place like his mate had, but he was still very patient and it was no great thing to stay in one spot for a day.

He'd expected it would take a good part of the day and possibly even into the night; assuming Horus did get the message and location, he still had to travel and he might be busy. Therefore it was something of a shock for Apries when, about an hour later, there came soft sound of something big walking up. Whatever it was wasn't trying to hide itself, otherwise Apries doubted he'd hear anything at all.

When whoever it was came into view, Apries got something of a shock. He certainly looked like Horus, but Apries apparently hadn't really been thinking of his old Elder actually looking like an Elder. As if that wasn't enough he near jumped out of his skin when Horus greeted him, not even really looking at him and continuing to walk as though he had other things on his mind.

After that initial shot of startlement Apries firmly clamped down on his emotions. 'Come on, he won't eat you. You came here for a reason, don't blow it,' he mentally chided. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Apries stepped out from his shelter. He held firm and refused to allow himself to cringe as sunlight struck him, giving black fur a blue halo, red fur shining like wet blood, and orange glowing like coals. Amazing really, how the sun could bring out such intense glows yet bleach colors at the same time.

The color distraction was enough to relax him a bit further though, and when Apries spoke he was proud to hear how calm and steady it sounded. "Hello, Elder Horus," he said, bowing his head in respect.  

[Nasaiki]

Horus turned around and looked at the fox with his head slightly turned towards the side. Hmm perhaps he did get heat stroke after all he was at least a foot taller now and definitely more black on him in which to fry. However he didn’t think in his hallucinations he pictured Apries with a scarf and piercings. So then he was right with his first assumption and he wasn’t hallucinating?

Hmm well this was definitely a surprise normally the deities warned him at least cryptically that there was some one for him to go meet, then again after the newest Seth stunt the modeities where currently out on other business at the moment. He wondered what brought the younger male back to kemet. Perhaps it would be to see Himeko. However she had been venturing out a lot lately to see Chione so it only made since she would try and see Apries as well.

“You know Apries just Horus works, no need for the elder formalities” Horus stated tilting his head to the side. He blinked wondering if apries was caught up on current events. However if it was just a quick social visit did he really need to be. He was sure other tribes knew that Kemet had been officialized and Horus was now in elder form. They also had a guardian as well. However the other parts on his brothers both had mates and Apries was an uncle might interest him. Then again it wasn’t really Horus’s place either to explain all the family stuff. Perhaps he could get Akori to do it later if Apries was here for a social visit.

“However it’s good to see you again, what brings you to Kemet.” Horus stated. Only saving grace about this whole trip was the fact even if he was stuck on the other side he had never really left tribe lands. However he did admit it was also good to see Apries.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Apries struggled internally. No formalities? The Horus that he remembered had be a normal. One with a presence of command, but it just served to make him look more like a paternal figure for their entire group. Elders went through much to achieve their bodies, which were built to be impressive and regal by fox standards. They didn't even have to consciously think about their power anymore, it just was.

Well, what he had to say right now didn't involve titles, so for now Apries tried to push the concern to the side.

"I-I'm here for-... It's...hard to explain," he said, looking down at the ground for a moment before he forced himself to meet Horus' gaze again. You-You were heading somewhere before I stopped you," he observed diffidently. "Perhaps we could walk and I...I can explain it as we go. It's something of a long tale." For a moment he felt like the shy little kit he'd been; that part of him might never change, but at least now he knew that he could stand under pressure, rather than wilt.  

[Nasaiki]

He watched Apries look at him and struggling with something. However the elder stood there calmly waiting for Apries to finish what he had to say. Horus had a feeling that this walk was going to involve a bit more than him walking home normally. He hadn’t really been in what he liked to refer as elder mode when he had come across Apries but now he was pretty sure the younger fox would prefer to talk to him as an elder. With a deep intake of breath Horus looked back at Apries. “It was nothing terribly important I just was returning back to the tribe was all. However we can start walking back if you wish” Horus replied with a nod.

He began his walk again and turned around to wait for the other to catch up. After all when he had stopped he was a bit a ways away from Apries. He could tell Apries had done some growing up yet he could still see some of the kit there, which was good to know Apries hadn’t drastically changed. It would be good to hear what he was up to and Horus hoped that he could help in some way.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Apries nodded and broke into a ground-eating lope that covered the most distance while costing the least amount of energy. The energy part probably didn't matter much; Horus wasn't that far away, and they would be walking once he reached him. It was just the run he broke into by habit now.

He slowed the last few yards, and came up shyly next to Horus at a walk. As if by unspoken signal the two turned in the direction Horus had been taking before Apries interrupted, and began walking side-by-side.

Apries gave Horus a brief version of what he'd been up to since he left the tribe. This was his first time returning, and he had to quash a little stirring of guilt that he hadn't at least tried to visit.

Some of it, like, "I traveled north and west for quite some time," wasn't much more than filler meant to give a sense of direction. He cut out the little things he'd seen and done that had no major sense of purpose to his tale, since they were frivolous little things that he count relate later to anyone interested. He told Horus of the challenges he'd faced; that wolf-pack he'd had to flee from, fighting and hiding in turns. The lands to the north where snow lay on the grounds all year, where there were few shelters and even less to eat, where storms of snow reigned and hit with more frequency that storms of sand did here. The time he'd been seriously hurt in a fall in a strange land and had to use what knowledge he had of healing from his father to figure out which plants could help him.

"I had returned south from the snowy lands and struck west, traveling through a forest. The air began taking on a strange smell, and when I finally broke the trees I saw the ocean." There was wonder in Apries' voice; Kemet lived within traveling distance of an ocean, but Apries himself had never seen it.

"It was amazing, Horus! And that's where I met Lani-Ai." He blushed a bit, then launched into the story of how he'd met the vixen, and the days he'd spent with her on the cliffs by the sea. How they fell in love, and when he had to leave she had come with him. It was only recently that they'd decided to officially take the title lifemates, for both wanted to take things slow and make sure it wasn't a moment of infatuation. Lani deserved that kind of consideration in Apries' mind, and if it had been a brief romance on her part then better they learn it before shackling themselves to each other.

For a moment Apries was lost in a dreamy haze with a lovestruck look on his face while he considered his mate. Then he blinked, blushing in embarassment and looking back up at Horus with a little cough.

"Well after that we began heading in this direction, traveling slowly and taking our time. I wanted to be sure..." Apries trailed off, trying to find words to continue. It was difficult to straighten out the complicated flavor of emotions inside of him, and he had the feeling that no matter what words he used they wouldn't be enough to fully convey everything.

"I had always meant to return someday," he said quietly, deciding to let the words drift out on their own and not overthink them to death. "When I found my strength and determination, I always planned on coming back." He glanced at Horus out of the corner of his eye, wondering what the Elder thought of everything he'd told him, and what he'd said just now.  

[Nasaiki]

He watched as Apries caught up with him and decided it was probably best to take the long way to kemet just to give them room to talk before they got to the main area. He smiled at Apries behavior. He would have waited for the other to catch up with him. After all if it had dawned to him that it was Apries a bit earlier then the other wouldn’t have had so far to go.

Once Apries was next to him Horus continued walking and listened to his companion’s story. It sounded like Apries had gone on quite a journey. He nodded listening to Apries statement about how he wanted to return some day he had just left to find himself. Horus didn’t think less of the younger male at all. After all after the first Kemet had fallen and Kaname had dragged him away he had refused to come back here at all even though as son of the last insibiya it was his duty to see if he could go back and try to start it.

Of course the Modeities had other plans and Horus was hunted down by Atum and Osirus and sent straight back to Kemet. “Sounds like quite an adventure you had there apries” Horus replied. He laughed a little when Apries talked about Lani-Ai. It was good to see that all of Kaname’s children seemed to have found their own mate and “settled” down. He briefly thought once again about telling Apries of his new family members but perhaps that would happen later when Apries was done telling him his story. Of course it sounded like Apries was pretty near what he wanted to tell the elder.
 

[jinxgirl5]

"Yes, well... I've talked to Lani, and we're both in agreement. What I would like to know is..." Now Apries hesitated, trying to find words that wouldn't sound like accusation or self-pity, nor a promise he might not be able to keep.

"Are we welcome to Kemet," he asked the Elder softly, looking up to meet his eyes. "I would not wish to bring discord to the tribe with my coming here. I know my star wasn't exactly high in the eyes of my family when I left, and I don't know if that is something time could have changed."

A sad, wistful smile tugged at Apries mouth, the emotions echoed in his crimson eyes.  

[Nasaiki]

Horus smiled and titled his head to the side. Discord was hardly a problem after all Kemet was a balance of chaos and peace after all. He was used to such chaos by now. However he could answer that portion of Apries question in a second.

“Apries you are always welcome in Kemet. Yes I know a couple members of your family where mad with your passing but truly everyone adapted. Both your brothers now have their own mates and in Marius’s case he’s calmed down a bit since he’s had children.” Horus explained. Kaname was a different story and he didn’t really talk to his friend about it however Himeko would be delighted to have her son back so Kaname would push back his own feelings on the matter.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Apries paused, looking startled. "Marius had children," he blurted, the first thing to really register in his mind. He really had been away from home for too long. And Akori had found a mate? It as hard to reconcile the images he'd had of his siblings when he left with what they were now, according to Horus.

He blinked, still looking dazed, then gave Horus an inquiring look. "And Chione?" For a brief moment he allowed himself to be distracted from the other inquires he had.  

[Nasaiki]

Horus chuckled knowing that to Apries Marius having children must have been quite a shocker then again when Apries had last seen his siblings they were just on the throws of adulthood, not quite yet adults yet far from being kits. Now both of his brothers were fully grown and capable adults who held their own in the tribe. “Yep four of them, they just became adults themselves recently, three girls and a boy. It was tough for a while since the modeities played a very mean trick on Marius and Xylara, um his mate” Kaname stated. Marius had once said if it weren’t for the base coat and Xylara’s views on cheating he would have never guessed he was the father. Anyways that drama was squarely in the past.
“Hmmm last thing I heard from Himeko was Chione has her own mate and is still out exploring the world on her own” Horus replied.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Apries shook his head ruefully. "I suppose I really shouldn't be so surprised. Marius was always so bold and energetic when we were kits, ready to take on the world. Always the first of us to try anything." Apries was fell silent for a moment, wondering how much of his thoughts, if any, he should share. He looked out over the desert, trying to frame his words so that they came out neutral.

"I wonder at times, if the first and cruelest trick ever played on Brother was that he was born second."

Apries oftened wondered at the strength of Marius' soul, that it never feel into darkness. All the bold traits of a first-born yet born second, having to defend his timid excuse of an older brother who clung to daddy's tail. Then said brother just walks away from the tribe, throwing away the honor and responsibilities of the first-born like worthless trash. It surely must have seemed that way, no matter how noble his intentions. Apries didn't know if Marius had envied him his birth rank, but if he had it would have made his walking away that much worse in his eyes. And now...

Well, he didn't really know what to expect. Would he be expected to step back under that mantle of responsiblity he'd cast off long ago, or had Marius already taken it up? Would it be seen as presumptuous hubris if he did, as though he had never left the family, or would it be seen that way if he didn't? These thoughts chased each other round and round. Apries shook his head, trying to settle his mind.

"I would like to speak with Brother and Father," he said quietly. "The decision is ultimately yours whether myself and my mate are welcome into the tribe, but......they are ones whoes acceptance I seek most for I feel they are the ones who might most resent my return."  

[Nasaiki]

“Well it wasn’t more of Marius trying to take on the world. Chione, Akori, and you tend to take after Himeko. Marius tends to take more after a younger Kaname so he would seem more energetic. Surprisingly Akori was the first one to start dating and have a girlfriend so Marius isn’t the first in everything” Horus stated to explain. As elder it was his job to watch his tribe mates, he wouldn’t be completely correct about his deductions since obviously Horus wasn’t his scout but as elder it was his job to carefully watch his tribe and try to understand them

“he…” Horus started and then wondered if this was better left for Marius to say. The problem was Marius probably wouldn’t say it. “He never really wanted to be born first. He was perfectly fine being born the second. After all that’s the role the modeities gave him, or at least that’s what he told me. It was more, more he wanted some one to look up to. After all at the time Kaname was extremely busy and didn’t really have enough time to watch you four grow up too much. As the only shaman at the time he had to deal with injuries and then the whole Hollow feud and everyone leaving…truthfully I don’t think the tribe was just right back then for trying to raise a family. When you where trying to find your self he stepped in and took over so that you could have a bit of freedom. Then again I guess he was a bit angry that he had to step up. Of course this is a bit from what Marius has told me and my own thoughts on the matter.
“Which one did you want to talk to? Or did you want to talk to them both at the same time. As I’m Insibya I can call Marius to me right now, or have him send Kaname here?” Horus asked tilting his head to the side.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Apries didn't answer immediately, still absorbing and mulling over Horus' words. It still seemed like part of his theory applied, for even if Marius didn't mind being born second if he had been born first he wouldn't have felt like he had to step into the place his brother had left.

As for having someone to look up to, well he could sympathize. It was just so odd to think that way about Marius; he's always seemed so confident and sure, it was part of the reason why Apries left in the first place. He'd wanted something like that for himself.

Finally he did pull free of his thoughts, and realized the question Horus had asked him. "Oh! Um, well...," Apries paused, thinking, then started up again. "I would like to see both of them eventually, but maybe I should talk to them one-on-one? I think, perhaps, Marius first." A small smile crossed his face. "Father is always so enigmatic with his thoughts and feelings, I don't know think I'd know what, or even if, he thinks of my returning."