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Hello everyone, I was hoping to share a story with you that I hope everyone who holds some sort of hate towards gays, will see how much of an impact they do have on our lives; at least mine anyways. I have changed the name so I could preserve privacy for him.
2005-2007: I was in 8th grade and had just moved my horses to a different stable. There I met a guy named Alex who was cleaning the stalls. He was very quiet and for some reason, I felt drawn to him. So I walked over and soon we started talking about different animes we both liked, as well as music. Soon we became fast friends. He became like a brother to me and would constantly call me "sis" and I would call him "bro".
At the end of 2006, I had come to realize that I was a lesbian. I was scared to tell him because I had heard stories about people who had had falling outs with their friends because of being gay. In my heart, I knew Alex would never desert me andso I told him. He was quiet for a moment but said that he still loved me like a sister. To say the least, I was relieved.
2007 went along as if nothing had happened. The only change was that he had moved his horses to a different barn.
Nov. 1, 2008: It was about four in the afternoon when I was on my way home with my Dad from my friend's house. I heard my phone ringing and say Alex's name up on the caller ID. I answered happily and he asked me if I was home. I told him no and then he said he had something to tell me but I needed to be home first because I would probably cry. Instantly, I thought something had happened to the horses and I told him just to tell me then.
He only said," We can't be friends anymore."
Immediately, I felt my heart sink. I didn't understand what was motivating this decision. What caused him to change his mind? I started to cry as I asked him why and all he said was...
"I just can't do it anymore. I don't believe in you. My religion doesn't allow me to associate with people like you."
That evening, I cried my heart out and lost the one person in the world who understood me more than anything.
Nov. 2, 2008 - Apr. 17, 2009: We began to talk again. Soon we became close again, but something about him had changed. He suddenly became an alcoholic and I had endured possibly the worst experiences that anyone could think about. He became suicidal, saying that he loved me but could never be with me. I told him over and over that I loved him as a friend but nothing else and that I was sorry. But then, as time kept on, I realized that me trying, was just not working.
By April 17th, 2009, I had damn near given up. I had tried contacting the parents, they didn't believe me. I tried everything, but nothing was helping.
April 18th, 2009: I was at the first horse show of the year and was in one of the pony's stall brushing it's tail. He called and asked if he could come talk to me. So I bitterly answered yes and he soon was standing in front of me.
"I know you're not going to like what I have to say but-" he started, but I cut him short.
"I nothing to say to you, nor do you have anything to say to me. What's done is done," I spat.
"But there are people that can help you, people that can fix you. Kaitlin, there is something wrong with you," he informed.
Instantly, I became angry.
"I don't need help, Alex, you do. And I will do anything to help you. You know that."
All he did was shake his head and gave me a hug, kissing me on my cheek saying, "I love you" and walked out of the stall. I was beyond pissed but about 5 minutes later, he called me. When I answered, he said the one sentence that I will never forget for as long as I live.
"When you hear the bang, come and find me." Then the phone clicked off.
I ran all through the parking lot, desperately searching for him. I never did. I called the police and they looked for hours. While I was watching the show, I felt someone peck on my shoulder. I turned to see my parents looking at me and so I hopped down from the bench I was on and when I saw my Dad's face, I knew something was wrong. All he said was, "Kaitlin, I'm so sorry." I felt my world crash, my best friend was dead.
He had shot himself and bled to death. All because I was gay and he loved me and I could never be with him, or so his parents say. The obituary came out in a couple days, saying that he had died of a broken heart. So now I have to live with this, knowing that his religious beliefs got into the way of our friendship and ended his life. But I still love him, he will always be my brother.
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