Helloooo...uhm, I figure I should introduce myself before I express my thoughts. My name is Nana, and contrary to my avatar I'm actually a girl, lmao.
blaugh
*Read the bold parts if it's too long for you*
I officially came out a few months ago. Keep in mind that I came out preparing for fire, but I didn't expect to be facing people with flame throwers. Now I'm not sure how I feel about coming out anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm sooo happy I did it and it feels like a weight has been lifted it's just kind of hard, I guess. When the people you love the most verbally lash at you with burning tongues like whips.
The good news was my friends took it really well. The bad news was my family didn't. Well, they did...but it's what they're doing now that upsets me.
Basically my mother had a hard time accepting the fact that her only daughter, whom she was expecting to marry off to a handsome, educated, wealthy young man, was actually looking for a Cinderella, not a Prince charming. She tells me that I shouldn't talk about my sexuality (which I'm okay with cause I'd much rather have her being honest with me than not) because she doesn't believe me. She doesn't want to believe me.
My father seemed to be a little understanding about it, however he started talking behind my back days after I came out to him. I confronted him though, but..I'm not sure where we stand now.
My brothers constantly tell me I'm going through a phase and that I'm lying to myself, and when they say those things to me...it irks me out a little bit.
I appreciate their honesty, but at times it feels like it's tearing me apart.
A few days ago I blurted out an opinion regarding my relationship with my girlfriend at work, and everyone was like "What? You're gay?!" to which I nodded my head. After work, my older brother came up to me and told me that I embarrassed him.
I told him I didn't "give a ********" but honestly, in that moment I felt a sting of pain in my heart.
I have no problem what-so-ever with strangers and coming out to them, because quite frankly I don't really care what they have to think of me; it's the people I care so much about that are hurting me the most. The people I've grown up with and would like to grow up with in the future.
Part of me wants to let go of them and just focus on myself, and the other part wants so bad that they at least respect my feelings if they don't want to accept me for who I am as an individual.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. I'm exhausted and scared. I don't want to lose my family, but I don't know how to express that to them without thinking I'm some kind of lost cause..
I don't normally ask for help, but this is something that's really new to me and I really need advice. How did you guys cope with coming out and the newness of it all?
Blah. @_@;
Feel free to express whatever you'd like; anything goes.
blaugh
*Read the bold parts if it's too long for you*
I officially came out a few months ago. Keep in mind that I came out preparing for fire, but I didn't expect to be facing people with flame throwers. Now I'm not sure how I feel about coming out anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm sooo happy I did it and it feels like a weight has been lifted it's just kind of hard, I guess. When the people you love the most verbally lash at you with burning tongues like whips.
The good news was my friends took it really well. The bad news was my family didn't. Well, they did...but it's what they're doing now that upsets me.
Basically my mother had a hard time accepting the fact that her only daughter, whom she was expecting to marry off to a handsome, educated, wealthy young man, was actually looking for a Cinderella, not a Prince charming. She tells me that I shouldn't talk about my sexuality (which I'm okay with cause I'd much rather have her being honest with me than not) because she doesn't believe me. She doesn't want to believe me.
My father seemed to be a little understanding about it, however he started talking behind my back days after I came out to him. I confronted him though, but..I'm not sure where we stand now.
My brothers constantly tell me I'm going through a phase and that I'm lying to myself, and when they say those things to me...it irks me out a little bit.
I appreciate their honesty, but at times it feels like it's tearing me apart.
A few days ago I blurted out an opinion regarding my relationship with my girlfriend at work, and everyone was like "What? You're gay?!" to which I nodded my head. After work, my older brother came up to me and told me that I embarrassed him.
I told him I didn't "give a ********" but honestly, in that moment I felt a sting of pain in my heart.
I have no problem what-so-ever with strangers and coming out to them, because quite frankly I don't really care what they have to think of me; it's the people I care so much about that are hurting me the most. The people I've grown up with and would like to grow up with in the future.
Part of me wants to let go of them and just focus on myself, and the other part wants so bad that they at least respect my feelings if they don't want to accept me for who I am as an individual.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. I'm exhausted and scared. I don't want to lose my family, but I don't know how to express that to them without thinking I'm some kind of lost cause..
I don't normally ask for help, but this is something that's really new to me and I really need advice. How did you guys cope with coming out and the newness of it all?
Blah. @_@;
Feel free to express whatever you'd like; anything goes.