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Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider

PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:15 pm
So I have two characters that need judgement passed on them.

1
Username: Articx-Frost
Character Name: Stephan Turner
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Apperance:Stephen can usually be seen in his long sleeved top with his body warmer over the top. Heavy cargo trousers with several pockets and dirty grey/blue trainers complete his usual clothes. He stands at about 5 foot 10 and weighs roughly 11 stones. Average for his age.

Personality: Stephan is your not so typical slacker. He could be concidered a genius, if only he would get something done. He has a dry wit, a dirty mind and a foul mouth, so don't take anything he says too seriously. He's also a master of sarcasm. He likes to do as little as posible at any one time, leaving his mind to run over things he conciders more important, like whether he should see that new film or not. As such, most people are surprised when he actually does anything.

History: Born at roughly 8: 25 in the morning, Stephan has celebrated each of his birthdays at this time, right up until he found out about his parents divorce on his tenth birthday. From then on, birthdays were not something to be celebrated. Round about here he also stopped giving a s**t about school. Coasting through the next eight years, Stephan hasn't made much in the way of friends, at least not ones that he can talk to at school. The majority of his friends are virtual, and scattered around the globe. Having spent the past few years ignoring his birthday, he has forgot that his is today.

Power: Electricity – the generation and manipulation of electricity. Can tell how strong a current is passing through something just by looking.
Other: For the past few days, he's been hearing someone calling his name, even when there has been no one around.


2
Username: Articx-Frost
Character Name: Dana Cassidy
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Apperance:Dana wears only the top of the range clothes, usually in the latest fashion. Lately she's been seen wearing a sleeveless black top which fits her ample frame. This is coupled with bootleg jeans and a pair of leather heeled boots. Her coppery red hair reaches half way down her back, though she likes it pinned up and out of the way, leaving her bangs free to frame her face. She has perfected the sultry look, complete with pouty lips, a beauty mark and seductive green eyes with golden rings. A wrap tattoo on her left arm finishes off the mysterious girl that is Dana.

Personality: Dana is, in one word, a b***h. In more than one word, she's a cold hearted, ruthless, manipulative, b***h that takes great pleasure in bullying anyone she can. As one of the "popular" girls, she knows much of what happens between her classmates, their families as well as the best people to stay on the good side of. Through his process, she knows who she can safely rip the s**t out of just for wearing something that she doesn't like. More than once she's managed to reduce people to tears by doing this.

History: Dana is the illegitimate daughter of James Turner. Born at 8: 35 a.m. she is the younger half sister of Stephen, though this she doesn't know. She grew up with a poor but hardworking mother who taught her the importance of money from an early age. Because of this, she works in a small, but high paying job as a waitress in the most expensive cafe only two miles away from where she lives.

Power: Metal – the manipulation of pure metals and their alloys. Can also tell what and how pure a metal is through skin contact.
Other:
 
PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:15 pm
Why does the exact time of birth matter?

Anyway, both characters seem interesting enough. It matters a lot more how they're written though. Character bios only tell a little bit of surface stuff.
 

Lydia Blue


Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider

PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 6:04 pm
That'd be because I missed a bit of their profile. As each character turns exactly eighteen, they develop their powers. The birth times was to set an order of development.  
PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 6:16 pm
Their abilities seems a little but over-the-top.
I can understand the concept of releasing power at command but shooting electricity just by looking at something is unbeatable.
At least make him have to snap his fingers.  

BlueberryCondomBomb


Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider

PostPosted: Thu Feb 17, 2011 6:58 pm
I didn't say he could control it by looking. I said he could tell how strong the current is by looking.
As in,"Hmm, 300 volts, best let someone know their toaster is ********" or "Only 2 volts? let's pick it up for fun."

Besides, they have to learn how to command their powers first. It's going to be a lot of stupid movements and silly poses before getting anything right.  
PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:37 pm
Anything else that people want to question about these characters?  

Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider


PolyMorpheus

OG Shapeshifter

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:11 pm
Are they gonna be "known" superheroes like batman and superman or heroes like claire bennet, hiro nakumura and peter petrelli (and fight "internal affairs")?  
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:31 pm
They'll start of relatively unnoticed as super powered humans go, but that doesn't last very long. Depending on how the Rp that they're for goes, it'll be about a week before all hell breaks loose with them at the center. Kinda hard to stay unnoticed after that. I have a plan on where the Rp should roughly go and when. The characters are the variables throughout.  

Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider


Grimaldus Helbrecht

Hallowed Prophet

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:43 pm
lol the first one actually shares my surname xD.....
oh yes, we need to be a tad more serious *ahem*

Well to me a little more could be added to the bio and also I would have to slightly agree about the comment about looking at somebody, I think if your only just starting off on your little story then I would suggest weakening powers at first. I am not sure how to go about it with your characters but I suggest a power decrease until you advance later on with your characters. Everybody loves to read how a character advances in more ways than one.

That is all I have for now ^^  
PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 6:15 am
I'm expecting (hoping) for that to happen all the way through the Rp with a lot of s**t blowing up by accident.

No one, I repeat No one, will be able to use their powers to that extent at any point in the Rp. I have laws of fiction realism to counter that.  

Articx-Frost

Unbeatable Raider

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