A Question, involving the teaching of little people

[ProfessorZed]

OK, gang, I have a question, or maybe a whole series of them. What I have, in fact, is a really interesting situation.

So I have this friend -- in fact, she's been my best friend for fifteen or so years -- who has an eight-year-old. For some time now, said child (we'll call her R) has been very, very interested in all things Witchy. Mom, who may show up here as "littlestpagansmom" if I can drag her into the guild, freely admits that she hasn't a clue, but she supports R's interest and would prefer that R get in on the ground floor with me. It's a trust thing.

The parameters (as I see them, since my friend hasn't suggested any) are as follows. It's more an educational situation than a spiritual one, strictly speaking -- I'm not out to convert R to any path, and I don't want to go anywhere that will make her or her wonderful grandparents (who are involved in the United Church and often bring R along, though R's parents are non-religious) uncomfortable. I don't want to indoctrinate her, in short, but rather give R (and her parents, who will be at least aware of everything she's learning, and hopefully involved in same) the information and experiences she needs in order to decide whether Paganism and/or Witchcraft is/are for her.

R is an animal lover (her mom does rescue work, as well as breeding Great Danes), intensely curious about the world around her, and a big fan of the written word. On the downside, she has self-esteem and concentration issues. In the past, she's attended Pagan Association events, and starts asking when the next ritual will be even before the smoke from the candles has dissipated -- her incredibly supportive parents stand outside the circle while she participates, albeit quietly.

Now that I've babbled at some length, my question: how on Earth do I approach this? With very few exceptions, of which R is one, I'm really not a kid-friendly sort of person (nor is my hubby, who'll probably consult with me here and there), so I really have no idea where to begin. It's not a comfort thing -- she's really a remarkably nifty kid to hang out with, and I've been in her life from day one, so there are no issues there -- but rather an absolute lack of good ideas on my part.

So what does one do to educate a kid and let her experience the wonder of all this stuff we do without heavily indoctrinating her?  

[SoilWork]

Ahh my friend you made this just in time, my wife is pregnant with our first child and this is something we have been wondering about, sure i'd like to get my kid into the occult, and have them practice with me. On the other hand I don't want to make this their only choice, I'm all for the child choosing but I would like them to experience my faith as well as my wifes.

We did think of a few ideas that might help.

1. Small spells like good luck spells and protection spells
2. guided meditation (a little older for that)
3. group/family ritual
4. tarot, other kinds of divination

Really as a clueless soon to be father I have NO IDEA on what I'm going to do, I just know that I want my kid to get to have a good childhood and some good spiritual experiences. On a little side note there, my wife yelled at me for joking infront of the docter that I wanted the baby to evoke satan by the age of 2...I thought it was funny.

Sorry if this was more of a rant and no help at all, we are in the same boat my friend. Best of luck to you.  

[Starlock]

"Indoctrinating" one's child in your own beliefs is part of the responsibility of being a parent. It's not some dirty thing you should avoid, because you're going to do it whether you realize it or not. Better to do it deliberately than be unaware of how strongly you're influencing the child. When they get older they'll begin to quesiton what you told them anyway, and at that time they can forge their own path. What's importnat is that the child knows that your love for them isnt' continginet on what their spiritual path is. If it is different than yours, that's great. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching and rearing them in the Craft.  

[TeaDidikai]

Well- being a fan of Animals, and the world around her as well as the written word, honestly? I'd start her off with Cunningham.

Pretty straight forward to teach a kid that there is more than one way to shake a tree- and approch it from a historical perspective- then let the kid lead the way.

I'd also write lesson plans and run them by the mom. But that's just me, with the caveat that you plan to answer R's questions truthfully to the best of your ability, so the lesson plan my be derailed. And ask the mom for what rules she would like you to follow. Just because she didn't start off with any, doesn't mean you can't ask for them.  

[MST3Kakalina]

ask R what she wants to know about. she likes animals...what else? does she want to know about the properties of plants, rocks, etc? does she want to know more about God(dess) or mythologies of certain cultures? while you'll probably have to do a lot of legwork, finding out what she's really interested in should give you a start, at least.  

[TeaDidikai]

MST3Kakalina

ask R what she wants to know about. she likes animals...what else? does she want to know about the properties of plants, rocks, etc? does she want to know more about God(dess) or mythologies of certain cultures? while you'll probably have to do a lot of legwork, finding out what she's really interested in should give you a start, at least.

I think the only problem with letting R dictate the nature and flow of the lessons is that as mature responsable pagans, there are some things that need to be taught to the youth that the youth would not think of asking to learn- even if they did know that such knowledge was out there to begin with.  

[MST3Kakalina]

the lessons shouldn't be restricted JUST to what R wants, of course. but finding out what R is really interested in can still provide a starting point, if nothing else.  

[Starlock]

Yup. My parents in raising me pretty much just introduced me to a butload of stuff, whether I wanted it or not. How else is a kid to know what's out there in the world if you don't inundate them with everything? Of course, different kids handle different levels of inundation, I suppose. I enjoyed drowning in knowledge/new things as a kid myself (laughs), the kid in question here might not.  

[Doctrix]

I'm kind of curious as to why your friend has chosen a kid-shy and inexperienced (at teaching kids) friend to tutor her child in this highly-personal family subject? If I were you, I'd drag the mom in with you every step of the way. I can understand that it may take a village to raise a child, so it's wonderful that your friend is reaching out to her community, but I would encourage her to take a lead, family role in bringing her child into these wonders!  

[ProfessorZed]

[Kudzu]

I'm kind of curious as to why your friend has chosen a kid-shy and inexperienced (at teaching kids) friend to tutor her child in this highly-personal family subject? If I were you, I'd drag the mom in with you every step of the way. I can understand that it may take a village to raise a child, so it's wonderful that your friend is reaching out to her community, but I would encourage her to take a lead, family role in bringing her child into these wonders!

That would be because a) I have a lifelong (hers, obviously) relationship with her, and b) nobody in the family is Pagan. In point of fact, the best way I can describe our relationship is "chosen family". Her parents are supportive of her exploring Pagan/Witchy stuff, in the sense that they make sure she has every opportunity to participate in local Pagan association events (the whole family came to yesterday's breakfast social, for instance, and we can always count on them at rituals). That support comes out of knowing she's in good, knowledgeable, ethical hands and thus in no danger. Even assuming she'd developed an interest without starting out wanting to be "a witch like Auntie [Erishkegal]", it's unlikely her parents would be anywhere near as supportive if they didn't know a little bit about [Neo-]Paganism through fifteen or so years of association with me.

Upon review, I think my major challenge is going to be avoiding materials that tend towards Christian-bashing -- partly because I refuse to engage in it myself, and partly because R has a healthy relationship with her grandparents' (very moderate) church that I don't want to harm in any way. At this point, I'm considering her intensely curious and more interested in Witchcraft than Paganism, though I do plan to work in an awareness of the latter.  

[Kristal Lee]

SoilWork

On a little side note there, my wife yelled at me for joking infront of the docter that I wanted the baby to evoke satan by the age of 2...I thought it was funny.

rofl LOL! I would have laughed! XD I'm curious as to how the doctor responded. XD  

[TeaDidikai]

Erishkegal

Upon review, I think my major challenge is going to be avoiding materials that tend towards Christian-bashing -- partly because I refuse to engage in it myself, and partly because R has a healthy relationship with her grandparents' (very moderate) church that I don't want to harm in any way. At this point, I'm considering her intensely curious and more interested in Witchcraft than Paganism, though I do plan to work in an awareness of the latter.

That shouldn't be too hard. Since you do not intend to engage in such yourself, it's pretty easy to spot the Anti-Christian garbage from a half mile away.  

[Gideon Starorzewski]

I'm still a beginner at all this kind of thing myself, but maybe that's an asset because it's fresh in my mind. Almost everything I've read so far regarding the practice of magic be it Hermetic, Wiccan, or Chaos has emphasized the importance of building a strong foundation of ethics, which is probably doubly important for a young, impressionable mind besotted by ritual. If it were me, I'd do the following:

- Have her start keeping a magical journal to record her progress and review it with her if she feels comfortable doing so.
- Teach her a Hermetic banishing ritual such as the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. Aside from an important spell to know and use, it's a good way to commit the basic attributions to memory and the Qabalistic cross portion of it is the origin of the sign of the cross used in Christianity as well as the fact that it calls on archangels for protection.  

[Pelta]

Grant Morrison

Have her start keeping a magical journal to record her progress and review it with her if she feels comfortable doing so.
- Teach her a Hermetic banishing ritual such as the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram. Aside from an important spell to know and use, it's a good way to commit the basic attributions to memory and the Qabalistic cross portion of it is the origin of the sign of the cross used in Christianity as well as the fact that it calls on archangels for protection.

Whoa! Hold on a sec there! The kid's only eight! Do you really wanna teach an eight-year-old the complications of invoking archangels? Even assuming that she'd already have the control over energy and visualisation to do the ritual, how on earth is an eight-year-old supposed to understand the intricacies of ancient Hebrew gematria?
I'd suggest maybe leaving Ceremonial Magic to a slightly later lesson... Like when she's in her late teens and still wants to learn more.

I think Grant Morrison's idea of a magical journal is a really good one though. Maybe encourage her to write everything she feels down somewhere special, maybe even buy her a nice empty book. Another suggestion I might make is to create a list and vague outlines of various different paths, so she can know what there is on offer and choose what suits her. You could show her the basics of all these paths, let her choose the one that interests her most and then teach her about it. At least then you'd know you wouldn't be indoctrinating her into your own beliefs against her will.

As for basics, I'd probably start with basic visualisation and beginning control of energy. And maybe some basic techniques like casting a Circle, if that would suit her style. I remember somewhere Teadidkai saying that she doesn't cast Circle and it would be presumptuous to assume that all traditions do, but for a child starting out it is a pretty basic technique to learn. Then if she wanted she could discard it or use it at her leasure, but at least she'd know about it and know what other pagans are talking about when they do it. Oh, and a final thought. I'd suggest stones as a good place to start with more natural magic. They're easy to work with and get the hang of, as well as a good way to learn about different types of energy and how to feel them. They's also purty. And shiny. And collectable. xp

Just my thoughts on the subject. Hope it all goes well for you and your student!  

[Padmasana]

I am in a similar situation with a younger sibling, and have found this thread to be very helpful.

I wish to add:

Have a long chat with your friend and find out if there's anything specific that she wants her hatchling to learn or avoid being exposed to at her age/experience level.

If you present things in written format, make sure that said hatchling's parents get a copy or have access to the material.

Stress ethics, whatever yours might be, and keep an eye on their reactions and mindset in relation to what they're learning. Some with more dominant personalities may take a shine to spells/exercises/what-have-you intended to manipulate others. How things of that nature fit into your personal ethics influences how you deal with it, of course, but it's still something to watch for. Likewise, I've met some very nice but shy individuals who learn every shield spell they can to hide from the world and further isolate themselves, which may or may not be good for them.

Best of luck. I hope you'll keep us posted. smile