I am struggling with a bunch at the moment. It may not be as bad as some of yours, but to me it's a lot.

I have been struggling with college for quite some time now. The first two years where fine, but ever since my grandma died, I've just be on a downward spiral it seems. I didn't think that would have effected me that much, but apparently it has. Maybe her death made me seem out of sync with reality, I don't know.

So ever since then, I got worse and worse grades. I would lie to my parents and say I was doing fine and doing my work, when really I wasn't. I would start playing video games or whatever I could to escape reality because i didn't want to face school, or growing up. I just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself. The scary thing was that I didn't care. Finally, I got disqualified from school, so now I am taking some community college courses to try to get at least an AA. But my parent are mad at me because i keep lieing to them. They should be though. It wasn't right for me to lie to them, especially after all they have done for me. So now I am struggling with this semester, already it has done bad. I got the flu last week, so i missed all week. I may just have to try to drop so it doesn't go on my record.

Also, I am just struggling with what to do with my life. Half the reason I did poorly in college is because I didn't know what route to take, what major to take. I had trouble seeing what the importance of college was if we didnt know what to do with whatever degree we got. I honestly jusy want to be a home maker and take care of my husband, kids, and house, etc. I never want to tell people that though because they look down on me.

Lastly, I am struggling with what I believe in. I guess you cold say I am agnotic. I grew up to an Atheist mom and brother, and a not so religious dad, so religion and God never took a big place in my life. Its hard since I spent 24 years of my life with a certain mindset, and now I am trying to change it. No easy feet. In a way though I am at peace when i think about my boyfriend, and God. Whereas when i think about my life at my home with my mom and school, I feel like ii am suffocating. I don't know what to do.

I need prayers for guidance. I sorely need it right now gonk