Okay, so be nice, because I'm uber shy and sensitive about my stories but I need some feedback. sweatdrop First off: would what I have be good for a chapter? Second off: Is it tooooo confusing? Because everything will be explained in the second chapter....okay so yeah, please read and thankies! <33

Evil? What is true evil?” The voice was deep and smooth, the syllables rolled from his mouth with the greatest of ease. His dark blue eyes stared into the dark room, his lips still wet with blood curved in a gentle smile.
“Evil is cold, evil is dark; it’s distant and yet it grips you with its big greasy hands and holds you, right where it wants you. Evil is deceiving, and it requires that it controls.” This voice held the sly seduction of a female. Her eyes shone like diamonds, reflecting what little light there was in the cold brick room.
“Which of those, would you say, describe me?” Treachery flooded his voice, and spewed from his eyes.
The girl chuckled to herself, tipping back the wooden chair she sat upon. The laughter rang out through the dense tenebrous of the place, interrupted only by the man slamming his fist against the glass window.
“Answer me!” He bellowed, his eyes turning fierce.
“All.” She replied, smiling.
“Sir,” The tensions were cut, a rather scrawny looking man walked into the room. The door swung on its hinges, slivers of light snuck into the room as it did so. The light revealed the man of brawny stature, huge muscles, dark skin and hair with striking features.
“Damn you Kide! I told you never to interrupt me!” He grabbed the blade on his small wooden desk and held it to the young man’s throat. “Perhaps though, this death would be too kind for you.”
“Sir, please!” Begged the man, his name Kide. “I was told to bring news to you immediately! It is a matter of life or death.”
“Death? I fear it not and you know that well.” The knife pressed into Kide’s throat.
“M’ lord!” He squealed. “It is news of Shrathe!” He pleaded desperately, completely powerless compared to the other. Kide’s eyes strayed momentarily to the girl upon the chair. She appeared a crazed lunatic; she was hunched in the chair, her eyes shone wildly and her black hair was stuck to her face. To make it worse she was covered in blood and smudged with dirt.
“Damn him!” The man bellowed once again, storming out of the room. Kide hesitated to follow, staring at the girl with pity in his eyes. “Kide!”
“Coming, m’ lord!” He followed his master’s footsteps like a loyal hound.
“Do you bow at his feet like he’s some sort of god as well?” She said quietly when their gazes met. Kide opened his mouth but said nothing and exited the room with a surprised expression on his face.
“Never thought of that before, eh?” She chuckled to herself again and draped herself on the back of the chair with a sigh.

Shattered pieces of light filtered in through cracks of the poorly-laid masonry. A few tiny bits of leafs blew in as well, carried by the strong fall wind. A small butterfly managed to find its way in as well and seated itself upon the girl’s nose. She awoke with a slight groan.
“Agh…why hello there, little fellow…” She smiled gently. The butterfly gently flitted to the other side of the room, and morphed quite suddenly into a young man.
“So it is true! They actually caught you!” He chuckled to himself.
“Idan m’dear, it’s quite sweet of you to be so concerned and to come looking for me, but I really do wish you’d use doors.” She rolled her eyes and turned away, tossing him a blood-soaked cloak. “If I had a gold piece for every time I saw you naked…”
“Oh come now Nikola, you know you like it.” He chuckled as he put on the cloak.
“About as much as I like being here.” The girl, Nikola, turned and smiled wryly with her hands on her hips.
“Well then, let’s get you out of here shall we?” He stepped over to the door and paused. “It’s not even locked. Why didn’t you just walk out? Much less break the wall down…”
“Ahh…have you seen the guards on this place? And I have no power here, remember? He’s got it shielded.” She didn’t move.
“Nikola…what’s wrong?” Idan stared at her. She wasn’t the type to back down at a challenge, often she had gone against entire armies by herself. A single castle hidden away in the depths of the Forgotten Mountains surely couldn’t intimidate her.
“Nothing, it’s nothing. Let’s go!” She brushed her hair out of her eye and kicked the door down.
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.” Idan grinned and stepped behind her, watching around the hallways for anyone. Kide stepped out from a corner as pale as snow.
“Oh. Oh no. Oh no.” His eyes widened to the size of plates. “S-stop! Please don’t…don’t do this, he’ll have my head if you do!” He pulled out a sword from his belt and held it trembling in front of his face. The sword made him look as nothing more than a little boy with his parent’s weapon. Idan approached with a smile; Nikola stopped him.
“Kide…” She sighed and looked at him gently with a sort of motherly love. “You’re not meant for this. Any of it. Put it down, come with us. I know you’re a sorcerer as well, and from the Gyasha sect I would imagine. Come on.”
“Do really have to bring him with us?” Whined Idan. Nikola gently elbowed him and stared intently at Kide. “Oh.” He whispered, suddenly realizing why she had been hesitant.
“No! My master…he’s my master. He took me from slavery and made me into a free man, he raised me!” Kide growled and waved the blade, causing him to stumble a bit to the side.
“Forced loyalty only goes so far. Kide please, come on.”
“No!” He screamed again, rushing at Nikola. Idan threw him to the ground, ripping the sword from his hands and plunging it into Kide’s chest. Idan grabbed Nikola and ran.
They wound through hallways for what seemed like hours, followed by guards at high speed. Despite the advantage they had of being able to navigate the castle knowledgably, the guards had no chance on the two. They finally found the exit to the castle by means of shattering a window.
“You first!” Shouted Idan, watching wearily as another rush of gaurds clattered through the hallway.
“Idan…” She paused.
“Go!” He gently pushed her through then followed suit shortly after. They both darted at full speed to the depths of the forest.

“Injuries?” Idan asked. He had been the first one to speak for nearly two hours of silence in the forest. Nikola was thrashing her way through some bushes, having refused to stop for rest.
“Mild.” She answered shortly, grunting as she ripped a bit of moss hanging down out of the way. A decayed branch came down along with it, pinning her to the ground. Before Idan could move to help her she had shoved it off with an angry scream.
“Nikola!” He groaned. “We can’t be silent forever. I did what I had to back there!” He followed her to the best of his ability. She said nothing. “Don’t be angry, please!”
“I’m not.” She crunched a small flower under her foot.
“Right. Screaming and grunting and storming through the forest like a raging bull is how you always maneuver.” Idan said sarcastically, grabbing her arm.
“I told you I’m not angry!” She ripped her arm from him and stopped, leaning against a tree and hiding her face.
“Are you…?”
“I’m not crying!” She screamed, slowly sliding down into a sitting position, still hiding her face and sniffing.
“Oh Nikola, you poor dove…” He sat next to her and sighed.
“No, not me. It’s the others. How many lives were lost that I could have saved? Do you even know what happened? Did they tell you? Or did they just tell you that I was captured by him?” She wiped the tears from her eyes and stared up, the crying stopped.
“They wanted me to get you because they needed to know.” He replied softly, looking at the ground. The Sects had never thought of her as anything except for a tool. A cheaply purchased, ill-mannered tool.
“I see…I can see them, you know. I feel them. Their faces…they’re all there, forever and ever, and they never disappear. They invade my dreams with their laughter and joy and tears and sorrows, and then at last their deaths. Good people, many of them were. Good honest people with loving families; people that loved openly and did good. And yet it is I who survive every time…” She looked off to the side at a tree. The two sat silently staring up at the balcony of the forest.
“I don’t know.” Idan whispered after a long silence.
“What?”
“I don’t know how I would deal with that…I’ve killed so many, only in the name of saving more. Do you ever wonder about them? If maybe…maybe the Sects are wrong. “ He paused, “--and I’m not the one enduring torture nearly every week.” Idan smiled gently at her. Nikola smiled back and laughed gently.
“I wonder every time. I am indebted to them though. Questions…are not my place.” She stood slowly, showing signs of pain. “We need to get back. I’m sorry. It was just…Kide wasn’t a bad man.”
“I know.” He sighed and followed suit.

Any suggestions would be luffed!