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 Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:01 am
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He wasn't sure exactly when he had made up his mind to go, only that he had. He was sure that the rogue cheetah had had a great deal to do with it, soothing a lot of the worry he had had over his mother's welfare here. Perhaps he had decided it was time long before that and he had simply been waiting for an excuse, a way out. He supposed the time of the decision didn't really matter now, though, because ultimately all it came down to was the fact that he had decided.
It was a lazy morning, cooler than the afternoon, as the sun hadn't had a chance to climb to the highest point in the sky yet. The pale blue lion strolled along, not quite as calmly as he wished to portray himself, appearing more eager and somewhat wary. His eyes shifted along the lands, his feet carrying him towards the river, where he more often than not found who he happened to be looking for, but maybe he only found her there because that's where he chose to be himself.
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 11:36 am
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:15 pm
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Seeing her made him pause slightly, the stoic mask of his face faltering in favor of a small frown for only a moment. Actually have her there made his decision seem even harder, but he knew that it had to be done, no matter what. If he chose to stay, for her or his mother, he knew he would be restless for the rest of his life. He had to get away from this land and see the world, no matter the consequences. They were both strong, albeit in different ways, and he had never promised Umbia anything - what they were had simply.. happened. He had only ever said they would be friends.
"Umbia," he said with a forced smile, closing the distance between them with what he hoped appeared to be a calm stride, though it was probably just as rushed as everything else about him. He hesitated, and then leaned in to nudge against her neck lightly, before pulling away - awkward, but he found affectionate gestures one of his more difficult areas. "I was hoping I'd find you here, to talk."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:24 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:31 pm
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Her smile made his insides twist in guilt, his eyes quickly shifting away as he sat down quickly on his rump, the dark mane around his face shifting into his gaze in a thankful reprieve. Why did she always have to sound so hopeful all the time? It made his task that much harder to do, as if it weren't already hard enough. As if he were trying to crush her joy or something else equally ridiculous.
"Everything is.. fine," he said, slowly, hesitating over the last word. Everything was fine, or would be, but he couldn't help thinking that she wasn't exactly going to feel the same. "Remember when I told you that.. I wanted to go see the world?" He trailed off, waiting for her answer, and let his eyes look up at the clouds rolling past in the sky. He was prepared for what was coming next, whatever her reaction was. He had been playing this out in his head.
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 12:39 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:01 pm
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"Yes, I'm leaving," he said slowly, carefully. He wanted no room left for interpretation, he needed to say it clearly, so that she couldn't hope to think that maybe he meant something else.
Her next words, however, made him sigh. He let out a long, low breath and simply shook his head as he forced himself to meet her gaze. "That's just it, Umbia, I don't know when I'll be coming home. It might be months, or years. I don't know how much of the world I'll want to see until I'm out there seeing it." He shook his head again, watching her, forcing himself not to look away. "You can't wait for me, it wouldn't be fair to either of us."
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:07 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:22 pm
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"Umbia, you deserve to find someone that's going to be here for you." He sighed, his jaw clenching together as he pushed himself up onto his paws once more, staring at her. She was making this hard - not that he hadn't expected it to be, but he wished.. that she could just see what he was trying to say instead of making him spell it out. "What if I decide I don't ever want to come back?" He didn't think it was likely, but he never knew what could happen once he got out there. He wouldn't leave her here all alone.
"I'm doing this for me, because I'm not happy staying here anymore, Umbia, and I'm trying.. to do this for you." For both of them really. He didn't think he'd find anyone for himself out there, after all, it had taken his whole life, nearly, to even get to where he was with Umbia - he disliked company that much - but if something happened, he didn't want to feel guilt on his conscience, knowing she was here, waiting.
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 1:27 pm
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Posted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 2:11 pm
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He frowned as she turned away, but what was there left for him to say to her? This had been what he wanted - for her to understand that he was leaving, that he was going to be gone for a long time, and that if he was coming back he didn't know when that was going to be. He couldn't spare her feelings, because he knew it would only hurt her worse to cushion this and pretend that things were going to be different than he intended. So, with nothing more than a frown on his face, he watched her walk away - maybe for the last time.
Then, with a sigh, he turned and headed back towards his own den for, what was again, also the last time. This would be no less difficult for him, though he knew he wouldn't feel as guilty for leaving his mother as he would for leaving Umbia. He should have learned not to get attached.
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