Kittie's Poetry

[kuro kittie]

What is it?

It's something that makes you smile
It's like going the extra mile
They win loved ones' hearts
And are give to others,
Showing love and devotion
What is it?

They come in assorted colors
And many different sizes
But, in essence, they mean the same:
"I love you enough to give it away"
What is it?

Many are broken
And many are shattered
But some are repaired
And others are not
What is it?

A rose by any other name
Will still smell as sweet,
But a heart is something
That can't be replaced

Once given away,
A part is lost
A part is left with another
In hopes that they'll keep it safe
What they do with it is on them,
But take into account
That it's a fragile thing to hold.


Translation: A piece of one's heart is always given away when they fall in love. After it is given away, it is up to the receiver to do as they wish with it. Whether it be stomping on it, cherishing it, or even accepting it.  

[kuro kittie]

Blame Me

Blame me.
If it will make you feel better,
Blame me.
That's all you're ever good for;
Pushing all blame on me.

When I ******** up,
You're the first to blame me.
When you ******** up,
It's always by fault.
No matter what I do,
It all comes back to me.

It seems I do nothing right.
24/7, all day, every day,
I take blame.
So much to where it makes me sick.
It's nothing but a scapegoat.
Others use blame to make them feel better.
But what of the blamed?

The b lamed is always just that:
Blamed.
Blamed for everything that goes wrong,
Blamed for giving another a chance
When they are the ones that blow it.
Blamed for every little thing that doesn't even relate to them.

When does it stop?
Never.
The blamed will always be blamed
And the blamer will always blame them.
It's a never ending circle.


Translation: A friend and I were fighting and she blamed her break up on me. Then as I wrote it, it became more than just my friend blaming me. It turned into all the times I have been blamed for something that was not my fault and something I had no control over.  

[kuro kittie]

Count the Days

I count the days
Till you are mine.
I count the days
Till I'm with you.
I count the days
Till I'm in your arms.
I count the days
Oh, how I count the days.

The days pass slowly
And I am keft to wonder
When will I see you?
Whem will I see my savior?
My angel?
My guardian angel?

The days turn to months,
And months to years
And still I have not laid eyes on you.
The minutes seem like days,
Days like years,
Years like millenia.

I count the days
Until I see you,
My love.


Translation: I wrote this for my boyfriend. It says how I can't wait to talk to him or even see him again. When we part, it's like my whole world turns dark and grey, but when we are together, the sun is shining in all its brilliance.  

[kuro kittie]

Colors

Red is the color of love
The color of passion and devotion.
Red is the color of anger
The color of resentment and annoyance.
The color that drives others to hurt another.

Orange is the color of happiness
The color of fun and enjoyment
Orange is the color of motivation.
The color of drive and power.
The color that drives other to become successful.

Yellow is the color of intelligence.
The color of decision-making and concentration.
Yellow is the color of happiness.
The color of knowledge and focus.
The color that encourages sharper thinking.

Green is the color of envy.
The color of deceit and greed.
Green is the color of nature.
The color of trees and earth.
The color that drives others to be money hungry and envy those around them.

Blue is the color of relaxation.
The color that induces calm behavior and sleep.
Blue is the color of water.
The color of serenity and solitude.
The color that encourages peace and smooth communication.

Indigo is the color of depresion.
The color of sadness and boredom.
Indigo is the color of the midnight sky.
The color of intuition and inner communication.
The color that encourages focus on personal issues.

Violet is the color of purpose.
The color of wonder and amazement.
Violet is the color of the universe.
The color of magic and mystery.
The color that emphasizes royalty and domestication.

White is the color of purity.
The color of angels and innocence.
White is the color of kindness.
the color of virginity and fertility.
The color that encourages innocence and holds youth close.

Black is the color of darkness.
The color of hatred and malice.
Black is the color of death.
The color of experience and mischief.
The color that encourages unholiness and chaos, as well as destruction.

Pink is the universal color for love.
The color of fullness and fulfillment.
Pink is the color of devotion.
The color of faith and honor.
The color that encourages love and kindness; compassion.


Translation: This is what all the colors mean to me and what I think of when I see them.  

[kuro kittie]

In Your Arms

In your arms,
I can see my world crumble.
In your arms,
"I love you" is a quiet mumble.
In your arms,
I feel my life fall apart.

Because no matter what I do,
I can't get through to you.
The words of such devotion;
The words holding deep emotion.

In your arms,
I feel secure.
In your arms,
I long for more.
In your arms,
I want to hear I am yours forever.

Because hearing those words from you
Will make my life worth living.
You say them just once to me,
I'll live on for eternity.
Because words are just words
Unless they come from you.
They they are silver wings
That make me fly to your castle in the sky.

The castle is dark,
But that's how we like it.
The dark isn't bad
And neither are you,
BNut when you say you are,
It tears me apart inside.

You are no demon
Not even a wicked soul.
Your heart is good
And you're my savior,
My guardian angel,
My love.

In your arms,
How I'd love to be
In your arms
Holding me softly
In your arms
In your arms
Tonight.


Translation: I wrote this for my boyfriend. This is what I feel when he holds me and when we are together.  

[kuro kittie]

Someone Special

Without you, my life is dead.
A black hole that sucks in misery and agony, never letting go.
The black hole grows larger with each passing day I don't hear from you.
One day, it will consume my being
And it won't let me be the way I was before again.
I stare out the window
And all I think about is you.
Clouds pass by and I see your shining face,
Watching over me like the guardian angel like you are.
Take my hand,
Take my hand and lead me to happiness.
Hold me when I cry and love me when I'm wrong.
It's not that hard, for I do not ask for much.
All I want is your love.
And all I need is you here with me.
Is that so much to ask?  

[kuro kittie]

Demon

I have killed.
Blood on my hands
that isn't mine.
I have others' blood on my hands
And I take joy in it.
I am a monster.
A freak.
A psychopath that needs help.

Others look down upon me
As if I am the most hideous thing on the planet.
Others look at me as if I am a savior, an angel.
They are both wrong.
I am human.

Human beings do not see the errors of their ways.
I wish death on others.
I imagine myself killing them.
I imagine their blood on my hands,
On my face,
On my body.
Am I crazy?

No
I am not crazy
Nor am I mentally disturbed.
I am violent, yes.
I am sadistic, yes.
I think evil things on others that harm me.
Am I really so evil?

It is human nature to want to harm others in return.
It is human nature to want to be loved by those you care about and cherish.
Yet I cannot do any of that.
I dream of harming others,
But I cannot.
I dream of someone holding me in their arms,
Whispering those three meaningful words to me ever so delicately,
But no one ever means it.

Am I really so despicable?
I wish all those that wrong me death.
I wish the most violent deaths possible
For those who harm anyone close to my heart,
Who I hold dear.
When it comes down to it, I cannot stand up for myself.
I cannot defend what I want.
I cannot make others happy
Nor can I make me happy.

Misery consumes me
The blade presses harder
Red flows from the blade.
It's so beautiful.
Release
I feel my soul detaching from my body.
I feel the dizziness overcome me
And I am in a dream like bliss,
Nothing in this world bothering me.

Emo is such a harsh label.
No one understands the pain that is endured by others.
They never would and never could.
They are not that person.
They do not live with them
They are not in their head
They are not telepathic and cannot feel what they feel.

Doctors try to relate to the patient.
Other shun them away
Subscribe the medicine
Pray it will work so they won't have to deal with them again.
They secretly hope that the person will overdose.
They secretly think that this person is disturbed for finding pain enjoyable.
For finding happiness in release.
The release is shunned by many,
Understood by few,
Different for all.

As the blade sinks deeper,
I feel my vision blurring,
Leading me into the darkness where I am alone.
The darkness that offers such comfort for me.
It's so quiet.
It's so peaceful.

Voices are heard after a few blissful moments.
Yelling ensues.
I see bright lights and many people standing over me
Worry on their faces.
I am alive;
The demon lives once more.


Translation: I have harmed so many people in my life. Caused them so much pain. This is how I look at myself. I attempted suicide, but when I woke up, there was everyone I harmed, worried and concerned about me, telling me that it was alright and that I was forgiven.  

[kuro kittie]

Questions

You say that you will wait forever
But what if I can't?
What if forever never ends?
And we are both left in the dust,
Left to forget about each other
And move on to others,
Never to be happy?
What will you do then?
You say you get over things easily
Brush them aside as if they are nothing.
I don't; I dwell and dwell
Until everything that ever cared is gone.
Is that our fate?


Translation: A promise that never came through.  

[kuro kittie]

Untitled

What if we are all just floating embers
Flying on and on till there is nothing left
If my fire burns out, will you rekindle it?  

[kuro kittie]

Are You Really?

Though you say you're there
It cannot be confirmed, right?
What if you aren't?


Translation: A friend says that they are always there for me, yet I am questioning that due to one incident that will not be mentioned.  

[kuro kittie]

Love, A Vile Thing

Love
Such a pitiful emotion
Such a useless, overbearing, pathetic thing.
Love
Something that can break you
Bend you
Bruise you
Eat you up inside until there is nothing left but a hollow shell of what you used you be
Love
A forbidden four letter word
Used between lovers and family memebers.
But what is it really?
A disease?
A torture device used to inflict unbearable pain upon ones mentality?
Or is it just a small detonator that will be set off
When something doesn't go the way we intend it to?
In either case,
This emotion is a murderer.
It claims countless lives
And breaks many people beyond repair
Shatters them beyond recognition.
Yes, this emotion does great damage.
Damage that will never be repaired or fixed.
Damage that will exist forever,
Slowly making the hearts crumble before the owner's eyes.
Love
Such a deadly emotion


Translation: I was depressed when I wrote this. Someone broke my heart, and I wrote to let off some steam. That was how I felt about love. I felt that it was a negative emotion only meant to hurt others.  

[kuro kittie]

A Costly Love

The blade sinks deeper and deeper till the skin is breached.
Without her love, her essence runs dry.
She's just a chalk line onthe pavement to some
But to those that matter,
She's something more.
She's a lost soul that will be missed;
A friend that will be treasured;
A lover that will be missed with another poor soul following afterwards;
A daughter that tried her best, but resulted in a disappointment;
A granddaughter that couldn't meet expectations.
She slit her wrists today.
She took her life.
The cause?
A loved one left her, never to return.
A loved one took with him her heart;
The most delicate thing that she possessed.
Without it, she is broken; a shell;
A shattered mirror with missing pieces;
Missing pieces that he holds with him.
Though he is not completely gone,
He will not be with her as he promised.
She took her life today.
A soul was lost to heartbreak and sadness.
She couldn't live without her love
For their hearts were intwined to the point where
He took his at the same time


Translation: Talks about what happens when two people were so in love with each other. A woman was so in love with a guy that she took her life when they grew apart. She figured she wouldn't live without him. But at that exact time, the man was feeling guilty as well and took his life the same time.  

[kuro kittie]

Optimism

My rose has died
It's wilted and droopy
But at the same time,
It looks as if it's crying
Because not only is my rose dead,
But my heart is, too
I've tried to love
I've tried to try
I've tried to live
I always failed
Though my love was true and great,
Theirs was not
No matter what I said,
No matter how much I begged,
They always turned away
Never giving me a chance
They're all fools
They thought me weak?
I am strong
They thought me innocent?
I am not
They thought me kind?
I am too much so
And that is my downfall
But no matter what,
I will not change
Why?
Because that special someone will come,
Steal my heart,
And cherish it
Like no other did.


Translation: Everyone is telling me to change my ways and attitude, but Iw ill not because there is one person out there that will accept me no matter my flaws. I refuse to change for anyone.  

[kuro kittie]

Nothing's Changed

I was stepped on,
Bruised and beaten
My heart in a grinder
Becoming nothing anymore
Nothing's changed

I was too caring
And lent my heart and trust too easily
I believed they wouldn't hurt me
I ran away instead of facing my fears
Nothing's changed

People say hurtful things
And mean them
They call me useless, a failure, weak
I believed them
Nothing's changed

I was on my own,
No love thrown my way
But everyone around me happy
While I was miserable
Nothing's changed

Nothing's changed
And nothing will
that is fact
And I know that
Nothing's changed and never will


Translation: Comparing my former self with my current self. Like looking back and comparing what I used to be and what I am now.  

[kuro kittie]

$20

She found salvation in his arms
She found joy in hearing him speak
She gave it all she had and as repayed
But how?
He broke her spirit for money
A measely $20 is the price of pain
$20 is the cost of a heart
And $20 is the cost of a life


Translation: About a girl falling in love with a boy, but he was only putting on a charade to get $20 from his buddies. It was a bet. Like some people are "unattainable" and people place bets to see who can get that unattainable person. That's what happened here.