Dealing with the Toddler-driven Foreplayus Interrupus Syndrome.
1. Make out whenever Tot is in another room. She'll come after you soon and interrupt. Tot believes there should be at least 1' between you at all times. These stolen moments count as foreplay. Face it, your love life won't be normal for at least 17 more years.
2. Watch T.V. Turn the channel to something everyone but you finds incredibly boring.
3.After a few hours send spouse to bed alone. Stay with Tot, still watching boring T.V. until Tot lapses into 'Sleeping is more interesting than this' coma.
4.Wait another hour. Let her get deeply asleep and make sure she's comfy on the couch. Too cold or too hot and she might wake up. Sneak silently away.
5. Join your (now sleeping) spouse and remind them of how you created the cause of all the sneaky and elaborate planning and preparation required for a night of fun.
But be quiet, or you might wake the Toddler... ninja
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