Poem[review please!]

[dorkett]

Here's a poem I wrote, but I don't know weather it's good or not. Please post your thoughts on how good you think it is and tips on how I can make it better. Thanks ^^

I was the girl you left behind,
The one you thought was always so kind,
But you don’t care anymore,
And that’s what makes you instead of me poor,

You’ve forgotten me completely,
And I’ve tried to get you to know me pleadingly,
But I am no longer in your life,
Just a beggar with sadness and strife,

So this is the way you choose to go,
Without me and on your own,
Well my only question is how,
How are you going to live happily now?

This time you realize that I’m gone,
Forever and you wonder how to go on,
Missing my tears,
And protecting me from my fears,
And remembering all the good things from the years,

Here you wish for me to be with you,
And now you’ve come back to make it true,
But as you can see I’ve moved on,
I’ve found someone who makes me strong.

I’ve discarded you like you did me,
And now you’re in my shoes and see,
All the rain that washed me away,
All the pain I went through that day.

But it wasn’t just then,
It was for awhile,
And it took a long time,
Before I could smile,

Before I could love,
With a passion so free,
A passion that helps,
And builds in me,

You must move on,
And find someone new,
You must go on,
As I did before you.  

[AprlFairy]

I love the thought behind it! There is real feeling in this poem. However, I feel that the first four stanzas are a little awkward. Have you read the poem out loud to yourself? That always helps me. The rhyming is a bit inconsistent at times as is the number of syllables in those first four stanzas. The last half of it is great! It rolls off the tongue very well and it speaks of the best kind of revenge: Living Well. And yet, the narrator shows concern for "the boy" which shows a good heart.  

[dorkett]

I noticed the first four stanza's before and have been trying to change them, but it's hard trying to keep the same idea while changing it. But thanks for the review ^^ it's much appretiated.  

[winxechna]

Amazing poem!!! I managed 2 put a tune 2 it, it wud make an AMAZING Song!!  

[_PRECiOUS-HAiTiAN_]

I love it !!! I can feel what you been through, that's some strong words and some strong meaning. keep it up!  

[LOLCritical Error]

It looks like you put a lot of thought into your work... It starts off a bit strong with the rhyme scheme.. but as that fades out a bit when you change your style up it sounds great. I wouldn't change it though... I liked it.