|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 12:16 pm
 |
|
|
 |
Please critique. These are FRAGMENTS, NOT complete poems or lyrics that I've written. Please be honest with your opinions.
Just some background on this. I wrote these for a movie my friend and I have been writing together. It's kind of this vengful story where a girl falls for a guy but the guy likes the best friend. So the girl kills the best friend and then goes after the guy. When he turns her down she...well I won't tell you until the movie is finished.
"They said, providence planned. And I said, devil's hand. You said...wait and see, and I laugh... It'll never be. I'm falling for you I'm fallling to deep, quick to my heart and it skips a beat. Don't wanna wait cuz' it might be to late...I've fallen for you...and you'll never leave Kate."
"You're just another never gonna be a happily ever after, a nightmare in real life. A twisted fairy tale where villains win and heroes fail and no one gets a happy end. It's reality. This once upon a time was a dead end, flipped upside down, now you're an illusion of the clouds cuz you're just another...just another never gonna be a happily ever after...a story repeated to often, one that bores and hurts too much, and you'll always and forever be another never gonna be a happily ever after. Always and forever be...another never goonna be a happily ever after."
"Take me away from mistakes that I've made. Take me away from all of this gray. Give me a day...a day, one day, one chance, one change, to bring out the side of me that decided to stay, tucked inside and hidden away."
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:20 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
