should i tell my B/F (boyfriend)....

[musiqueangel828]

that i have cybered online with other guys, masturbated over the mic just so another guy could hear me moan. i mean i was talking to this christian friend on yim and he said i should tell my b/f if i truely love him because thats part of trust thing is im scared to death of telling my b/f what if he dumps me?, tells my mom and dad what i have done? im just so confused on what to do  

[thrashmetaljunkie]

first, calm down, and take a deep breath. Remember God is always with you, hes there with you now. i use2 do... some things, which i dont want to get into. but God has forgiven me. So thas the first step, ask God for forgivness. Second, if you have a youth group you belong to, or go to, or w/e you call it, talk to a female leader. (Same goes for guys, if you have any problems like this, talk to a MALE leader) Because i guarentee that they have done it too. So thas the second step. And perhaps, the leader will tell you ways to avoid doing it again.

now...about the whole "trust" thing. If you tell him, he will become insecure, when you look at a guy, he may get suspicious. (same with guys who have this problem, your gf will get suspicious too, and think your looking at something your not) trust will be lost. So before you tell him, i suggest cleaning yourself up first, so when you do tell him, you can prove to him your clean.

((talk to me on pm))  

[ioioouiouiouio]

First off, was the during or before you two entered into your relationship?

If it was before then I see no reason to confess this to him, unless the subject itself comes up. Hiding it from him could hinder your relationship.

However, if it was during your relationship, then yes, you should tell him. Cybering would be tantamount to cheating and that is something that needs to be cleared up for the good of the relationship.  

[Guacamole-kun]

I agree with Thrash, he'll just get paranoid. ^^;; Look, you didn't feel the same way about those guys as you feel about him, right? Those other times were just sexual? That's no big deal. (Not saying you should go out and cheat IRL, that's a little more complicated. But cybering's just.. like a two-person fantasy, in my opinion. And everyone fantasizes. ^^ ) If it ever comes up, you should tell him, and make sure he knows that you've stopped (cuz yeah, stopping would be a good idea. XD; Read erotica if you need to, instead, or something.) and that you're loyal to him. But I don't think it's necessary to tell him otherwise.  

[thrashmetaljunkie]

Guacamole-kun

I agree with Thrash, he'll just get paranoid. ^^;; Look, you didn't feel the same way about those guys as you feel about him, right? Those other times were just sexual? That's no big deal. (Not saying you should go out and cheat IRL, that's a little more complicated. But cybering's just.. like a two-person fantasy, in my opinion. And everyone fantasizes. ^^ ) If it ever comes up, you should tell him, and make sure he knows that you've stopped (cuz yeah, stopping would be a good idea. XD; Read erotica if you need to, instead, or something.) and that you're loyal to him. But I don't think it's necessary to tell him otherwise.

cybering is wrong, i did it once, and God got in my face about it. Thats how i know its wrong. its the same thing as looking at porn when you think about it. Plus, your setting yourself up for trouble down the road, because it becomes a part of your everyday life. Then, your gonna have some problems... problems you dont want.  

[Babbalui]

... I can come in here and tell you everything that I have experienced and all of the things that I now know, but that won't change the fact that you are going to still feel bad about it.

I know exactly what is going on inside of you, because I too have been there... If you have done nothing already about this, then I assume my words will still have meaning.

I have done the same thing and I regret it as much as anything else. The will not change if you do not come clean. The guilt will build up and slow down your love of life and your love of God. I came clean with only a few people on this and none of them gave me a pat on the back for coming clean. Rather, they scolded me and some even left me. Those people were not worth keeping as friends or partners.

If some one cannot accept something like this and forgive you for it, then they never truly loved you as you loved them, for if you did not love them, then you would not have told them.

Love is a strong word and not meant to be used lightly. If you truly love someone, then you can come clean and feel a burden being lifted. If they truly love you, then they can forgive you and help you through these times.

I don't support hating someone for cursing at you for doing this. They do not know better because they have not experienced the true love of God and they themselfs need to be forgiven just as much as yourself.

Just remember, you are not the one coming clean with the people that you are going to tell, it is God that is giving you the power to do so. He will always be there for you and will be there to support you no matter what.

I don't even know you and yet I can say that I love you as a person. I respect you so much for even saying this to us, people you have never met before. That takes courage and true love for God and his power.

I know that this is taking forever, but I want to do anything that I can to help. I respect you much more than I respect any one else on Gaia right now. I believe that being new and all to this guild will open my eyes to quite a few amazing people such as yourself.

I just pray and hope that you will make the decision that you find right and true in your heart.