T w i l i g h t was all around him by the time he realised that his short, virgin flight could not be repeated to bring him home to the girls. The grief had tired him and now the frustration had kicked in, rendering him all but useless. His wings, that had been raised up in some meagre attempt, came to rest at his sides, rustling against the rise and fall of his ragged breaths. And, it was in the cloak of darkness that he began to head back, though he couldn't help but question why. He was free now. Alone. Independent. Wasn't that what he had always wanted? And yet he trudged back to them, regardless. Maybe, after all this time trying to progress forwards, he was really walking backwards. He felt a cub again, whiny and pathetic and helpless.

Am I fighting against a fate that cannot be changed? I am who I am. I have tried to become more but...

He trudged onward, watching the moon rise up and up and up and then as it curved back down and the inky black became blue. The sun was close to rising by the time he paused to rest, the pads of his paws worn so thin that in some places they had split and bled. He dropped down amongst some dusty, half-dead undergrowth and slept.

His sleep was dark and terrible, plagued by demons that snapped at his heels, driving him forwards when he only wanted to sit and rest. And, by the time the sun was up and his eyes had opened, he felt as exhausted as he had before he had even stopped to rest. Still, something had changed. He was no longer alone and the soft voices brought him a sudden burst of relief.

"He's awake," Najiyya chirped and suddenly she was there, her white fur bright, her eyes dark and soft.

"Don't crowd him," Faeqa replied sharply.

Khaldun growled as he pulled himself to his paws, snarling at them despite the fact that he was pleased to see them. They were not afraid of him - for they were used to his moods by now - but they did give him space. They were easier to push around than other females he had known in his life. The thought didn't cross his mind that perhaps they were just worried and wanted to do what was best.

"Khaldun..." Faeqa began gently, her honey-brown fur patched with white. "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," he snapped, bristling and baring his teeth. This time, however, his show of gruffness did not work at keeping them away. Najiyya pressed close, her stocky, curved form warm against his side. Her smiling eyes refused to look away from his scowl and eventually the hard lines in his face softened and faded.

"We were worried about you, silly," she said without any prompt.

"Why have you never flown before?" Faeqa asked.

"Never had a reason," he replied, not quite wanting to admit his failures to them. Najiyya was still smiling but Faeqa looked at him as if she could read his very thoughts. Her eyes were sad and somehow he could not bear to look at her when she wore that expression so openly.

Najiyya wriggled against him and reached up to nuzzle against his neck and up higher against his face. He growled lowly in his throat again but she only giggled and gave him a shove. The move came so unexpected that he tipped off balance, sprawling into the dust and plants and landing with a startled grunt.

"Najiyya," Faeqa warned, stepping forwards as if she intended to drag her sister away, "let him rest, he looks exhausted."

"I'm only trying to cheer him up. You don't mind, do you, Khaldun?"

He sighed, "it will not work."

Najiyya's ears dropped and, with some reluctance, she pulled away. "Very well, perhaps I shall try and fetch us some breakfast."

He wanted to tell her that he wasn't hungry but she was gone before he could tell her otherwise. Still, when all was quiet and his buzzing head could focus on the potential of a restful sleep, he realised that it had been a lot easier to let her go and make herself useful.

"Shouldn't you go with her?" he asked the remaining sister.

Faeqa shook her head sternly, "no, she'll be fine and I think we should talk."

He did not move from where he had fallen and after a moment the sensible female moved across to sit beside him, casting her eyes out across the horizon.

"We all have our secrets, I understand that. Where my sister and I came from...it was home. Some found it odd, some hated it. Some despised being part of a harem and looking up to their male. They thought of it as being some sort of servent, but it was not like that. Not fur us. We had pride in being partnered to a strong male and we took care of our fellow sisters. There were so many cubs to help raise. So many mouths to feed. And I loved him. I loved Faiz. When all that was taken away from me, I wallowed in despair."

She shook her head, "how could I be happy now that my whole life had been snatched away? My sister seemed sad at first, but as time went on, she seemed to appreciate the freedom. Thrive in it, even. But for me? All I could think on was what was lost and I could not look to the future. I was supposed to be Faiz's girl. I was supposed to raise cubs to be big and strong, to continue the line of our pride. And then all my dreams came to an end." She trailed and Khaldun wondered whether she expected him to say anything. Thankfully she continued, "but that was foolish. I see now that what we are dealt in life can be turned around, no matter how bad it might be. I lost my pride but I found you."

He snorted, loud and harsh, amused at that. He was not equal to the value of an entire proud, even if he did have wings adorning his shoulders.

"You need us."

"I need no one."

"You despair, too. I see it in your eyes every day. And yesterday? Yesterday I did not expect you to come back. I was afraid for you, then, as I have not ever been before," she leaned forward, touching his paw, "please let me help you."

He turned to look up at her and wondered for a moment why she seemed so beautiful. Her fur was almost golden beneath the sunshine and the white patches were strangely clear of dust. Her eyes were dark and liquid as an antelope's - an odd thing to compare them to perhaps - and yet for all that, she was a plain thing. He remembered the females back home, some of them marked with an array of patterns that could have been considered beautiful. And yet, at that moment, it was plain Faeqa that captured his attention. Without truly thinking, the words came out of him and as he spoke them, the heavy weight he had been carrying lifted a little.

"My home is gone, too. Abandoned. Nothing but the empty ruin of the temple left. The vultures moved back in."

He had returned only once upon hearing rumours and though he had not expected to ever return the knowledge that he could not even if he'd had a change of heart, had hurt him.

"I do not know where to find my sister or my father and..." his jaw clenched, his head snapping away, "my mother is dead."

She looked at him, long and hard, her eyes burning holes into the back of his head, and then she was there, pressing close, her muzzle up under his chin.

"Dear one. We are kindred spirits. Do you understand? Homeless and loveless and utterly lost. Let us help you. So many things are out of our control but this...this we can do something about," she reached up to kiss him and a warmth blossomed in his chest. He turned his head, her rough tongue catching him across the nose, and leaned down to return the gesture, feeling ridiculous and comforted at the same time. Her attentions became more with a new-found greed and he found the feeling quite infectious.

By the time Najiyya had returned to find them curled up side by side, he had been wondering what would happen next.

Najiyya was smiling at them as if she knew some joke that was only hers alone and he growled at her as she dropped the limp baby rabbit in front of his nose.

"For you," she declared, "you could do with the strength, I expect." She sat and set about grooming her paws, looking immensely pleased.

Khaldun shuffled forwards reluctantly and began to eat, feeling the female stirring at his side.

What was she now, he wondered. Was she friend? Or...mate? Her heavily lidded eyes regarded him with a spark now and when she moved to press against him again he did not push her away as he might once have. Let her have some comfort, too, if she willed it all that desperately. He was no high-ranking vizier. He was Khaldun, a failure of a god, but for now, at least, she did not seem to mind.

/fin