Maziwa was panicking. She could feel life stirring in her belly and it was only a matter of time before everyone else knew as well. It had just been a fling - she was a leader! It wasn’t supposed to be like this! She huffed, pacing her own small den that she would probably need to make larger. She couldn’t tell how many pups resided in her womb, but it was definitely more than before.
She hated herself. This was not how a leader was supposed to act!
Random flings that bore pups! What was she thinking!
She would not be frowned upon for the actions, nor for the life she brought to the pack. That’s not how she wanted the pack to be. She wanted everyone to be open and accepted. It was new, a change. She already technically had a child, though not hers by birth, but her child none the less.
“Momma, are you okay?” the voice of her child cut through her musings - she had not even noticed when the small, blind male had returned to the den.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she answered at first. “No… No, I’m not.” She shook her head, sitting where she stood. She pressed a paw to her belly. No one would really notice for a while longer, but some would know. Her mother would know that life was inside of her.
Damu wouldn’t. He didn’t really know the signs and he could not see her. She watched him as he walked towards her, from where her voice last was. His steps were still a little hesitant in this area, but he was becoming much more sure-footed in areas that the land did not change much.
He stopped near her, feeling her heat, before simply pressing his face into her chest. “It’s going to be okay, Momma,” he told her. He didn’t even know what was going on! Her poor child. She smiled a little, nuzzling the top of his head.
“It will be,” she agreed, trying to soothe the ache in her chest. It was an uncertain ache, biting against her ribs and making her shake a little. It would all be okay - it had to be, for the sake of the pack - for the sake of her mental stability. She would power through it.
Maziwa sighed, trying to believe herself. Would pups really be a bad thing? New life in a pack, new growth meant a pack was making it. It meant that they were growing and expanding. She was not new to motherhood.
Still, she would be new to birthing. She had been young when she adopted young Damu. He was small and giggly and she loved him instantly. Perhaps thats what this would be like. Damu was such a small thing, smaller than even she was when she was his age.
“Damu, my heart,” she started. “How do you feel about becoming a big brother…” She was nervous, and her heart clenched in her chest. Oh how she dreaded his answer. She saw his ears perk up, and he froze.
Her stomach nearly dropped.
“Big brother?” He asked slowly, and Maziwa could only making an affirmative sound. “Oh, oh!” His tail was wagging now and Maziwa was nearly in tears. “Are you carrying? A-am… I’m going to be a big brother?”
Maziwa did not know when she began to cry, and Damu must have heard the hitch in her breath, for he lurched forward and rubbed his face against her own. He murmured soothing words, and his tail still wagged. “Oh, momma, don’t be sad. This isn’t a thing to be sad or worried over,” he told her.
She smiled, hiccoughing a little. “I know, I know.” Her breath hitched again, and he pressed against her a little more, trying to comfort her the best he can. “They’ll be beautiful, momma, just like you, and so very strong,” He speculated.
“And probably all bright orange! Oh I remember your coat so well, it was like the sun and the brightest flowers,” he laughed, and Maziwa could only laugh a little with him. “They’ll be wonderful,” he told her softly. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
Maziwa hiccoughed again, and allowed herself to calm down, taking deep, shuttery breaths. Damu nudged her, coaxing her into laying down, and he continued to murmur softly about the miracle the pups were.
Damu smiled, cuddling with his mother. Now that she mentioned it, he could feel the roundness of her belly. It was a gentle roundness, and he doubt anyone had noticed the hardening of her belly and the tautness of her skin.
He doubted it, though some probably already knew and did not say anything. “You could go see Twana, Momma,” he mentioned. “She’s my sister, you know, and she’s had a few litters of her own!” Damu continued to babble on. “And she’s the patron healer of the pack, she might be able to put you at ease?”
Maziwa knew personally all the members of the pack, but when Damu was trying to calm someone - anyone - down, he tended to ramble information on and on. It was a sweet trait and one she hoped young Airle adored. “Perhaps I will, dear one,” she murmured.
She did not want to move just yet. This was her family, right here. Her darling child, and the ones that were unborn in her belly. The one missing was her mother, and half brothers. They were their own family as well, but this was hers. This was her heart and soul, and she loved them already.
“I’m going to have pups, “ she whispered in awe for the first time. She was going to bring life to the pack - to HER pack. A pack that she had founded and settled down as once more gaining life, and she was happy. Or she would be. Right now, with the panic and doubt still gnawing at her mind, she was still fearful.
But it was something she could work through - it was something she would have to work through, and it would all be okay, just like Damu said. Everything would turn out okay in the end, and she had a pack to help her.
