Okay, I'm scared...

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

My cousin who is extremely close to me, who I talk to all the time, has been depressed and anxious for years. He has thought in the past he might have Aspergers, or anxiety, or depression, and at times he's been a little suicidal. He's been screwed over by several horrible people including a past girlfriend who basically ruined his life and almost tried to kill him. I've always tried to be there for him, always talking and listening and never judging, but he scares me sometimes because I desperately don't want to lose him.

Lately after a couple years of trying, I convinced him to see some counsellors at his uni who immediately put him on suicide watch (which he didn't feel so good about) and now he's being given an appointment with a mental health team for possible psychosis. He's absolutely terrified half of the time thinking he can't trust himself and that he's a waste of space and doesn't deserve help, he has daydream visions of killing himself and thinks that if he's left alone that he would be at risk of doing it.

I keep telling him to be open with the counsellors but he's having trouble not freezing up when he tries, and he has problems with overthinking stuff to the point where it drives him crazy. I try to give him ways from a spiritual, psychological and logical point of view but even if it helps him for a moment he keeps resisting, and I'm not sure if it's getting through.

Please, does anyone know any ways that I can help him? To get him to fight back against those horrible thoughts and seek the help he really needs without fear that something horrible will happen if he's stuck with a label?

I'm just... really scared right now...  

[The Goddess of Earth]

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

He's absolutely terrified half of the time thinking he can't trust himself and that he's a waste of space and doesn't deserve help, he has daydream visions of killing himself and thinks that if he's left alone that he would be at risk of doing it.

The fact that he is afraid and doesn't want to be left alone shows that he does still have a desire to live, even if he can't see it at the moment.

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

Please, does anyone know any ways that I can help him? To get him to fight back against those horrible thoughts and seek the help he really needs without fear that something horrible will happen if he's stuck with a label?

I spent two years working with people who have developmental disabilities and/or mental illness. One of the hardest things many of my clients faced was that they were classified by their diagnosis, whether it be by their families, doctors, strangers, or themselves. The most important thing to remember (if he is diagnosed with something) is that he is not the diagnosis; it is a separate entity that influences him, not controls him. I know it might sound insignificant, but it makes a huge difference to say (for instance) "I am a person who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia" compared to "I am a schizophrenic."

For his immediate needs, just try and help him see the importance of going to his appointments. You mentioned that he has trouble opening up to his counselors, yet he seems very comfortable with you. Maybe you could discuss going to one of his appointments with him as a support system.

If you feel that it's right, remind him that he is not alone, and that he is loved. He seems to be holding on to some hope for a better life, though.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this; I can't imagine how hard this is on your family.  

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

The Goddess of Earth

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

He's absolutely terrified half of the time thinking he can't trust himself and that he's a waste of space and doesn't deserve help, he has daydream visions of killing himself and thinks that if he's left alone that he would be at risk of doing it.

The fact that he is afraid and doesn't want to be left alone shows that he does still have a desire to live, even if he can't see it at the moment.

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

Please, does anyone know any ways that I can help him? To get him to fight back against those horrible thoughts and seek the help he really needs without fear that something horrible will happen if he's stuck with a label?

I spent two years working with people who have developmental disabilities and/or mental illness. One of the hardest things many of my clients faced was that they were classified by their diagnosis, whether it be by their families, doctors, strangers, or themselves. The most important thing to remember (if he is diagnosed with something) is that he is not the diagnosis; it is a separate entity that influences him, not controls him. I know it might sound insignificant, but it makes a huge difference to say (for instance) "I am a person who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia" compared to "I am a schizophrenic."

For his immediate needs, just try and help him see the importance of going to his appointments. You mentioned that he has trouble opening up to his counselors, yet he seems very comfortable with you. Maybe you could discuss going to one of his appointments with him as a support system.

If you feel that it's right, remind him that he is not alone, and that he is loved. He seems to be holding on to some hope for a better life, though.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this; I can't imagine how hard this is on your family.

Thank you... I'll try to go what you've suggested. Funnily enough I've tried constantly to convince him that a diagnosis is just a word that'll get him the help he needs and that all of his horrible feelings and daydreams are just influenced by the condition, but that doesn't make him as a person in any way broken or hopeless. He has a hard time believing me...
The only problem with going with him is he goes during Uni and I go to a sixth form at a highschool half an hour away, so I can't usually be there. Plus not entirely sure whether he'd be brave enough to suggest it to the counsellors and I'm not sure whether they'd be happy having someone else in a confidential session.  

[Deedet-san]

You have to remind him that therapy only goes as far as he wants it to, and if he doesn't go deeply into the problem it isn't going to work.

Also, he is going to school so that means he has long term goals. If he had shorter term goals it would help will his motivation to live. (Also tell him to stay away from toxic relationships stare )  

[glasfuinneog]

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

The Goddess of Earth

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

He's absolutely terrified half of the time thinking he can't trust himself and that he's a waste of space and doesn't deserve help, he has daydream visions of killing himself and thinks that if he's left alone that he would be at risk of doing it.

The fact that he is afraid and doesn't want to be left alone shows that he does still have a desire to live, even if he can't see it at the moment.

Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note

Please, does anyone know any ways that I can help him? To get him to fight back against those horrible thoughts and seek the help he really needs without fear that something horrible will happen if he's stuck with a label?

I spent two years working with people who have developmental disabilities and/or mental illness. One of the hardest things many of my clients faced was that they were classified by their diagnosis, whether it be by their families, doctors, strangers, or themselves. The most important thing to remember (if he is diagnosed with something) is that he is not the diagnosis; it is a separate entity that influences him, not controls him. I know it might sound insignificant, but it makes a huge difference to say (for instance) "I am a person who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia" compared to "I am a schizophrenic."

For his immediate needs, just try and help him see the importance of going to his appointments. You mentioned that he has trouble opening up to his counselors, yet he seems very comfortable with you. Maybe you could discuss going to one of his appointments with him as a support system.

If you feel that it's right, remind him that he is not alone, and that he is loved. He seems to be holding on to some hope for a better life, though.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this; I can't imagine how hard this is on your family.

Thank you... I'll try to go what you've suggested. Funnily enough I've tried constantly to convince him that a diagnosis is just a word that'll get him the help he needs and that all of his horrible feelings and daydreams are just influenced by the condition, but that doesn't make him as a person in any way broken or hopeless. He has a hard time believing me...
The only problem with going with him is he goes during Uni and I go to a sixth form at a highschool half an hour away, so I can't usually be there. Plus not entirely sure whether he'd be brave enough to suggest it to the counsellors and I'm not sure whether they'd be happy having someone else in a confidential session.

Perhaps a phone call during the session in which you are on speaker phone or perhaps having it in a slightly more public setting so that the councilor feels more comfortable with it. You might be able to email or call the councilor themselves instead of having him suggest it.