[MPRP] Stay [Asami & Kindoro] (fin)

[Kaelyndra]

[OOC: This RP takes place very close to the Swampielands in the aftermath of the fire that moved through; it happens before the rescue of displaced pride members]

Asami gingerly reached out a paw, setting it on the form of a log. It slipped off and she tumulted forwards. Claws outstretched, she scrambled for purchase before smacking her chin on the log.

It smeared her red face black with ash before she rolled over the side and back into the muddy water. For a moment, she lay there, breathing heavily, her ears swiveling about.

The world around her was bright. The sun, more intense than she had ever seen it, easily reached her position through the fire-scoured trees. Everything around her was peppered in black and white and it smelled. Smelled of something pungent and something that stang. Her ears throbbed, but not as much as her small head.

The small juvenille straightened herself and peered over the log she'd just thrown herself over.

The outside world was as empty as her gut.

"Mom?" she tried. She quieted, eyes squinting into the desolate everything. "Mom!" she shrieked louder, far more panicked now. An echo answered her. Asami rested her chin on the log and waited.  

[Hopefolly]

Kindoro was not black and white in her convictions. She was black, white, and red. Blood was on her paws, stale now and darker than when she'd spilled it -- oh, she hadn't meant it. She wasn't crazy, honest. And she wasn't mean either. She just couldn't take it when that leopard asked, well, what if her mother didn't want her back?

She's looking for me. I know she is.

Well, what if she's not?

It wasn't her fault. Her mother gave her everything. Her brothers had been her servants, and the one that dared to retaliate smacked so hard he fell down and never got up again. Kindoro was told she was precious, and loved, and she was always told the truth when she asked.

Where's my father?

I killed him. Why?

So when she asked if Hari planned to ever hurt her like one brother, or leave her like another, and she only laughed -- how was Kindoro to know? If the answer was yes, she would have said so, wouldn't she?

All that, all that, and she just left. Just smiled and told Kindoro she'd done well.

Good luck, sweetie.

The destruction was... unexpected to encounter, but not unexpected in the comfort it brought her. Misery loved company, usually; hers liked to throw parties for all of its miserable buddies. It was befriending every roasted tree, every burnt patch of earth she walked on.

"Mom!"

Kindoro could hear herself in it and she quickly made friends with that sad, lost little voice. She'd made a habit of counting her steps at one point.

One...

Two...

She'd also made a habit of losing count. It was somewhere around thirty to get from where she was to the sorry little cub -- bigger than a cub? -- all tuckered out with her head on the log.

Kindoro didn't look too scary anymore. The mistake she'd made early looked like the fur on her paws. (Could it be a God had made them red like this for a reason?) She sat down. "What are you doing?"  

[Kaelyndra]

Little Asami's head nearly came unhinged from the rest of her body.

The juvenille was tripping over her own feet as she leapt backwards, her hair on end. The appearance of another lion was alarming, and Asami had grown to recognize a distinct smell to everyone in the Swamplands. That smell was completely absent now. She hissed.

There was a gap underneath the log which she squeezed herself into. It took her a few moments, before she turned around and poked her head out of the space.

She regarded the newcomer with a tilted head. What was she doing?

Asami wasn't sure. Her mouth opened, and she quickly shut it.

She stared.  

[Hopefolly]

Brothers aside, Kindoro had spent no time with those her age until she was an adult. Literally, not one moment. She was kept away from the world, taught to see everything as us vs. them and never to be afraid that "us" was two lionesses and some slaves. Hari had told her there was no shame in dying, don't be afraid.

No shame to you, leopard. Don't be afraid.

"Don't be afraid," she told the juvenile. Kindoro was a hulk of a lioness; part Firekin with God blood from her mother. She sounded small, though, and young. Her body grew well, but not everything had. "Are you lost?"

She mirrored the gesture, tilting her head.  

[Kaelyndra]

Asami flicked an ear back. Her young brain put together the small pieces.

She continued to eye the large lioness skeptically. Sucking in a deep breath, she managed to slowly shake her head. She'd known where she was hours ago. Now, it was like someone had picked her up and moved her.

The juvenille gave another look at her surroundings, and puffed air into her chest. She crept her way, slowly, from the space she'd wiggled into.

Carefully, she inched towards the other. Asami chewed on her tongue and surveyed the titled head. "Am I dead?"

It seemed like a logical conclusion. How did one talk to a spirit? Asami found herself nervous again. "I'm sorry," she said, and tucked her nose against her chest.  

[Hopefolly]

"No, you're alive," Kindoro replied. She didn't assert her answer as the gospel truth beyond that. There was no need. The ground was charred and the land was barren and so most definitely this child was alive. Facts were facts. "But there's no shame in dying," she added.

When you died, you went to a place where you waited for the one you loved most, and then everything you ever wanted happened. Kindoro once thought she had wanted to die young to get there early. But no matter what Hari told her and how much she believed it, when she had almost been killed, she was afraid. She couldn't help it.

I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry."

I forgive you.

"I forgive you," Kindoro said. This was easy. Normally, meeting the lions out here was different. They were complex and she never knew how to react to them. This was just her life repeating. "Your mother left you?"  

[Kaelyndra]

"Oh." The juvenille seemed to take the correction as fact, instantly. There was no reason to lie about death, to Asami. It was a dangerous thing to lie about.

"I didn't want to be a ghost," she explained. If no one knew she was dead, they might not hold a proper burial for her. Then, she would be cursed to walk all alone until someone remembered. The exiled were ghosts, now. Perhaps they'd been angry, and had changed things.

Or perhaps it was the spirits.

--Your mother left you?--

The question caught Asami off guard. She raised her head, ears forwards. No matter how many times her eyes scanned over the surrounding area, however, she could not find her mother.

There was only one plausible explanation. "Yes." But she felt guilty about answering the question. It worked its way down her whole body and she began to squirm with the discomfort. "But it's not her fault." The juvenile had begun to chew on her tongue again. She made contact with black eyes and then dropped her gaze.

"I left her first."  

[Hopefolly]

Always keep your eyes up, mother said, but don't trust anyone else who does. That advice had been meant to keep her safe from Xi and Ohahira. They never looked away. The brothers did, like they were told, and Kindoro could always trust them do what she said. Or to answer her.

First instinct was to ask what a ghost was. Second, to smack her for leaving. How dare she. If only Kindoro wasn't just as guilty she might have. She'd wanted to go... sometimes. Not often, but once was a sin, twice was a crime.

Kindoro, sinner and criminal, kept her eyes up. "Why?"  

[Kaelyndra]

Asami began to fidget. Her weight moved from toe to toe, her chest swaying with the rhythm of the movement.

"The festival. . ." she began. It was suddenly cut short as her mind went down a different path. The small juvenille began to sniff, and she swallowed the urge to let her stomach out her mouth.

She coughed and then shook.

"I won't do it again," she pleaded with the stranger. Asami could not find purchase in her poor reasoning, so she resorted to avoiding the subject all together. The juvenille thought hard on the subject and then added, "I promise, I won't."

Another sniff. This time, her nose was full of mucous and a small tear worked its way down her muddy, ashy cheek.  

[Hopefolly]

Kindoro wasn't self-aware enough to recognize her feelings and actions as passing judgement. She didn't understand she felt herself righteous in it or the reasons why that would be. It just was. Things just were.

If their positions had been reversed, Kindoro would have, word from word, twitch from twitch, reacted almost exactly the same. And she would hope someone would tell her this: "You shouldn't have once."

You must always tell the truth, mother said. (She wouldn't want her best minion growing up thinking it was okay to lie.)

Kindoro shook her head again, disappointed. That was one of the things everyone did and when a rogue had done it to her, she'd understood him better. "But your mother will come back."  

[Kaelyndra]

The rapid bob of her head was a nod of understanding. Asami would let her head lower, then back up a few steps before raising it again.

She should not have left at all.

Since her mother was not there to punish her for it, someone else had let her know her wrong. For her growing mind, the idea that she was always being watched was almost too much. Even growing up hearing of spirits had not completely quelled the idea that she could get away with more when her mother was not around.

Apparently, this was a mistake.

"Do I stay here?" It was faint, but a smile began to twitch across her face. It grew, and she grew excited with it. Her mother was coming back. "Will you stay, too?"

The smile vanished as she thought about it. The two adults would probably talk about how wrong it had been that she had left in the first place. Asami hoped that she would go before her mother showed up again. That would be for the best.  

[Hopefolly]

No one had ever taught her to make decisions, and the ones forced on her were difficult. The very first had been to stay put until her mother returned or to go and look for her. This reflection of herself should know better than to ask her to stay -- and that had been the second choice she'd made, matter of fact. A stranger had found her and Kindoro had to choose to request that they to linger there or to say nothing. She chose the latter, so certain there was no need for company when mother was on her way back any minute now.

It felt wrong to stay, but it felt wrong to leave.

Kindoro knew her mother would come back. There was no point.

But she'd been lonely, and if that lion had stayed, she would have waited longer. Not run off like she did, where mother wouldn't find her when she got there because she'd disobeyed an unspoken order.

Kindoro nodded and stretched onto the dirt that might have been ash.

Yes, she'd stay. Until the sound of strangers came, then quietly, she would go. And later, when she learned what a ghost was, she would assume she had met one.