Omnia: Witches Brew Whenever I got stuck or thought of her, I'd listen to that. It doesnt fit her, but.... These are the kind of witches we're dealing with here.
Hero alias: Borealis Real name: Amanda Nightshade Powers/abilities: Spellcasting. She's having issues with most of her spells because of the internal magical conflict, but she's re-figured out how to cast a few basic Wilder spells. Since she was using a bit of Dark aligned magic to help power it, though, even her Wilder spells have problems. As she goes along, she will regain spell ability. Any obviously dark magical ability would be impossible for her to attain and use without overstraining herself. If she does regains spells, they will be very... neutral ones. These are her spells at Rookie (I dont feel like planning to other stages just yet. Let her make her spell list in character, I say)
Here is what she can do CURRENTLY:
Light magic: Borealis Bolt: The thing that the amulet wants her to do. It's a bolt of searing light that travels in a straight direction like an arrow. It is blazingly bright and sizzlingly hot. It would be a great offensive ability were it not for it's downside: At Rookie stage, she can only cast it once per day without feeling like she just dragged herself out of a washing machine full of sewage, snot, and possibly acid on the spin cycle. It upsets what magical equilibrium she has, so she mostly only tries casting it when she absolutely has to... mainly because when it's cast she just wants the world to stop for a while.
Witchy magic (again at Rookie stage/level of ability)
~ Potionlore and Herbcraft: Fortunately, her potionmaking-and-herbcraft abilities were unaffected. What she is limited with here are resources and general knowledge of alchemy, understandable because she's 13 and not fully initiated. She has a large cauldron in her room for making potions. As long as she knows how to make it, has a reason to make it, and has the time and materials for it, she can make the potion. Potions typically have beneficial effects, but are complicated, have at least one magical component (either as an ingredient or powered by her own magic), and always ALWAYS taste terrible. Hoe to make a potion: She has to have the right ingredients, the right tools, and have a ritual of some sort set up with the right kind of incantations used. She has to add the ingredients in the proper order with the proper words and such, and has to put in a certain amount of magic to get it all to work how she wants it to work. She's got a good sense for potioncraft, and researches what she can about it, but it's more complicated than it seems. It's always helpful to have a group doing the ritual- more magic can be concentrated and theres more room for error. The more the merrier. Of course, as a rookie she is not optimized in her potioncraft abilities. This is, however, going to be her main Rookie skill, likely being used as a stand-in for enchanting or other things (for example making an oil that, when rubbed on a broomstick with the right words, turns it into a flying broomstick) To be able to use things that she wouldn't otherwise have learned when growing up in the Ronth undercity, she has to research it in character, and make it at least one time in character.
~Minor Medicinal magic: This magic was greatly interfered with by her magical disequilibrium. The most she can do at rookie level is to remove small patches of acne, and boost the patient's body to heal small cuts (as Bolstering). Once she's a little more in tune with herself, she might be able to do more
~Minor Illusions: Illusions never were her strong point. Even before her magic was supressed, she couldnt really do much. What she can do now is change appearance (as if using small amounts of makeup. Really small.) and summon small wispy 'witchlights'- little glowing lights that can come in many colors and provide decent illumination. She is not likely to improve this skill much further than the witchlights.
~Transmutation/Bolstering: Turning something into something related or making something 'more' of what it is is a keystone of Wilder magic. At Rookie stage, her transmutation abilities are rather poor. The best she can do is make food taste better. Her Bolstering abilities are much better. She uses them to improve her first aid equipment/healing poultices. Aside from potioncraft, bolstering has the greatest ability to improve over time, possibly extending to improving the skills of teammates. For now, though, she has to stick to being supportive and encouraging and providing the band-aids.
Progression will likely be along her potioncraft, medicine, and Transmutation/Bolstering skills. Her Borealis Bolt ability will improve as she comes to terms with herself, eventually being able to be cast more often/with less misery attached. Other light abilities might become available, but as of this point in character development, I'm not sure about that. If she wants to do something bigger, she has to have at least two other people involved in a ritual and make appropriate preparations. She also has to know what preparations she has to do. (Going for a Medic-y build here)
Which area is the character based/from: Ronth, from the undercity. Not a good place.
Age upon entering academy: 13
How did your character get their powers: When Amanda was a child and was exploring part of the many catacomb-like areas of the undercity, she found, shimmering in the water, a pretty crystal of unknown origin. She got her mother to make it into an amulet. The crystal was actually a magical repository or channel or... something of that nature for light energy (WHAT IS IT??? I think I'll use this for personal character quests/storys/solos/whatever. It just makes for a fun story of character development. SPOILERS: Its a crystal holding a powerful light spirit of some sort. The actual origin and history of the crystal has not yet been determined...) It became acclimated to the girl, and gradually began to effect her natural genetic predisposition to magic. Being a witch, she was more genetically attuned to dark-type and the wilder magics. So, it began to supress her spellcasting power, bit by bit, until it could connect to her magical energy. Until, finally, it blossomed and shed a bright light. The light also became connected to her emotions.
She knows that the amulet is somehow responsible for her inability to use most of her magic, and to her turbulent magic powers, but... she really doesn't want to take it off. Its too special to her. And its pretty.
In addition to the morale value of losing it, the amulet is so tied into her magical life force that removing it makes her very sick, which progresses within a day or two into a comatose state. Her Aunt, a seer, warned them against removing it for this reason, so its unknown whether putting it back on her will revive her from this. The amulet itself is neigh indestructable.
Motivation for entering academy: Because she was suddenly unable to cast many of the spells she knew (Because of the reaction of the crystal's light magic to her own darker magic, she can only cast witch spells that are either very low power - including potion crafting and very minor magical things - or that are preceded by long preparations and ritual), her coven was very concerned for her. A witch that couldn't cast spells might be a problem, and though they loved her dearly, the coven could not handle a burden such as that without serious restructuring. So one of her Aunts read her fortune and saw that, if she took her light ribbon power and went to the academy, she could achieve a great fate and learn to use this power to her... and their... advantage. So her coven, motivated by this hope, scraped together what they could to send her to the academy. Her motivation for staying, despite the troubles she faces as part of her school life? She wants to make her family proud! And, now that she's here, she wants to increase public awareness of witches. They're good people! Really! (Spoiler: They aren't as wonderful as she thinks they are, but can you blame her?) (Her coven also secretly hopes she'll find a handsome, young, magically powerful man to bring back, but they don't want to spoil her enthusiasm.)
Strengths:
Our Lady of Teamwork: A clan witch's greatest strength lies in a group of them working together. Amanda has always been taught that together a group can do more than the sum of their abilities. To her, in a group, there is no self, and she applies herself completely to the team. She would do anything for her team if it will help, with no regard for her personal safety or, in some cases, moral inclination and mood. She will always have a teammate's back, whether they 'deserve' it or not. She expects others to do the same for her. As a supportive character, she feels that she needs to know as much as she can about her group's abilities and limitations so that she can better bolster them and/or prevent them from going over their limits and seriously hurting themselves. A substrength of this is her ability to act as a Medic, patching up allies and improving what they can do (IE, preventing a wound from becoming infected, improving the potency of something IE: Warslik's blood...)
Magic is a Science: Amanda is an avid reader. She is very grateful to her mother for teaching her how to read. Now that she has access to a library full of books, she spends much of her time studying magic: primarily rituals and other forms of magic other than her witchcraft. In addition, she has her traditional knowledge to bolster her. This means that she knows a pretty good deal about magical theory and certain traditions around the world. In addition, because of her magical block and her specialty in bolstering- making something more of what it is- she has also been trying to study the science of how things are and work. Her reasoning is that if she knows the science behind it, maybe she'll better understand the magic she needs for it. She has been studying medical science and biology (and a bit of physics because of light magic). This is newer for her and she has trouble with some of the jargon, but she has at least a working knowledge of anatomy. As she progresses in multiple nights of falling asleep on a book, she will learn more and more.
Weaknesses:
Magically Unbalanced: Her amulet has screwed up her internal magical equilibrium, and this effects her mental and physical health greatly. She has appetite and stomach problems, brutal headaches, respiratory illnesses, mood swings, panic attacks, vertigo... just some of the many nasty things that happen when your life force is being forcibly converted. When they are minor, she is aware of them and can hide them beneath her usual cheer, but when they are bad, they are bad. It is worse when she has been using magic, particularly her light bolt- which completely destabilizes her. Her herb and potioncraft, as well as her witchlights, use a relatively small amount of magic and isn't as destabilizing, but she never knows when she will find the straw that breaks her magical balance again. She re stabilizes after a time. (This isn't a measure of screwing up her actual magical ability, but the effects this has on her health) This instability makes things like a magical sense painful to use.
That Damn Amulet: The amulet may be causing a whole host of problems, but it's worse if removed. She will be increasingly sick for 12 hours or so after removal (less if she engages in strenuous, especially magical, activity), after which she will collapse into a comatose state. This was discovered via scrying, so it is unknown whether it can be reversed by putting the amulet back on her person. Either way, she never takes it off.
Personality: Traits:
Good:
Passionate: When Amanda gets excited about something, she gets EXCITED. She can be extremely enthusiatic, and kind of nutty. Still, sometimes that kind of energy is just what is needed to kick a team into gear.
Amiable: Amanda, when you get to talking to her, is a very friendly person. Unless she is in a mood, she'll be happy to talk your ear off and befriend you. She has very little in the way of friend prejudice (as of yet), so
Best Friend: Amanda makes friends easily, but not lightly. She is very dedicated to her friends, and would do anything for them. No matter the degree of friendship, her friends (should) know that they can count on her to always be by their side.
Neutral:
Witchcraft and Sorcery: Amanda knows a lot of traditional witchcraft (herblore, medicinal lore, her clan's rituals), but has also been brushing up on general magical theory and medicine. This background in magic might give her a unique perspective and potentially useful knowledge.
Bookworm: Amanda is an avid reader. In part, it is because she is desperate to find a way to regain her magical abilities, and in part because she loves to read. You are likely to find her in the library, but really, she can be found reading a book anywhere. She especially loves fantasy, but for practical purposes (attempts) to read academic literature on Magical Theory and certain aspects of science.
Planner: To Amanda the team is everything. If/When she ends up in a team, she will research her teammate's strengths, weaknesses, history, and make plans to boost their strengths and deal with their weaknesses and also deal with things from their pasts. She wants to be prepared for everything, and wants her team to be as well. Some teammates might find her snooping unhelpful, annoying, downright rude, or terrifying, and not everybody will listen to her plans- after all, shes a support character.
Bad:
Socially Passive: Amanda is a nice, friendly, girl, who easily makes friends. She's just... not usually the one to initiate coversation. You will most often find her reading in the library, cafeteria, or her room. She usually won't talk to anybody unless they come to her.
Different Morality: She doesn't have the same morality... axes... that others might have. To her, the end can easily justify the means, so long as her friends are okay. If someone gets killed, thats fine. People die. If a friend of hers brutally murders someone in the street, sure she isn't personally okay with it but the question is not what they did but why. So what if you sell your soul? So what if you talk to demons? So what if you kidnap people to use in experiments? So what if you were kidnapped and had a piece of technology jammed into you, and still have nightmares? If the end result is okay, then she is okay. While this means that she is very accepting of different people and origins and such, it also means that, after a while, the “they are bad we are good” spiel that she's picked up from her books and from SA might not hold out in the real world.
All for All: Perhaps the problem is that she will do anything for her friends. She has a sense of self, but in a team, she does not really have a sense of self preservation where it concerns her teammates. She would stick herself in harms way. She would trade anything for a teammate's safety. Even when it would be detrimental to her, or even deadly. A good friend would have look after her as much as she looks after them... but who would be a good enough friend to do that?
Family:
Amanda is a witch. A Hedgewitch or Clan-Witch if you want to get specific. They are women born with magical abilities, no dread contracts here. They aren't as powerful as the classic witch, but get a bunch together and suddenly the little apothecarist is not a dangerous threat. Hence, why they live in clans. The cans are split into smaller family groups called covens. Male witches are rare. Something about the genes governing their ability to do magic makes pregnancy difficult and males not likely to even miscarry- most die and are absorbed by their mothers. Daughters are raised by the family, and tend to be highly protected until their initiations. Sons, though rare, are treated similarly. Males are more magically potent but shorter lived (average human). Fortunately, witches are long lived, and take many lovers in order to increase the chance that they will have a child. Hedgewitches tend to use 'wilder' magic, a form of herblore, and dark magic, the magic of the night and predators and suchlike. Some rituals they perfom aren't... entirely good.
Amanda's Clan is the “Circle of Silver” one of the Lunar clans that Live in the Ronth Undercity, the complicated, network of sewers and utility tunnels under the city that are a place for the poor and shady to linger. Her clan holds the New Moon as particularly sacred. They do not delve into other areas, but they have perfected herblore and potioncraft almost to an art as well as a science. They don't do so much dark magic as their 'wilder magic', which is a darker manifestation of nature magic and an extension of their herbcraft magics. They rarely vanture to the streets above except when they have to for rituals.
~The Queen of “Circle of Silver” is Ridatha the Cold. Technically she is Amanda's third cousin, but in a society where all are in some way family, this doesn't affect her judgement. Although Amanda's coven is not in a strategically important place (its at the edge of the Circle's lands, but not at the very edge), she would be aware of Amanda's situation, and would likely have been the one to give the go ahead to the leader of her Coven. Shes a cold lady, making decisions that effect her greater family, sacrificing lives with barely a bat of an eye. Amanda, however, has never met her.
~Amandas Father: Is an unknown to her. His fate after he impregnated her mother is also unknown to Amanda, and she has never thought to ask (He may have been returned to whence he came... or sacrificed in a ritual... I think I'd rather 'find this out' in the course of RP)
~Lillian Nightshade: Amanda's mother is a unremarkable witch, just beginning to get the bowed back and gnarled fingers that witches get after they spend long hours hunched over their cauldron handling various variations on dangerous chemicals and substances. Amanda was her first child and, though she had the help of her own mother (for a while) and her sisters and aunts and cousins in her coven, she still coddled Amanda more than was probably good for the girl. She likes to send Amanda little things in the mail, as well as (of course) letters. How she gets them to the surface and to the post office is a mystery, but shes still pretty enough to have a lover so that is the likeliest story. She is very fond of her daughter, and relieved that there was a way to help her... though she worries about her being around superheros. The Clan has run across superheros in the past. Hasn't been good. But! She believes in her daughter, and believes in her sister's prediction.
~Sarah the far sighted: Amanda's Aunt Sarah is a Fortune teller. It is very rare for the Silver Circle to have fortune tellers, this being a specialty of other clans. She was able to read Amanda's future enough to know that her unfortunate curse/prediciament could be put to use if they sent her to the academy. She is the only one of her coven that is unsure of her prediction. She often wonders if she read the signs wrong. But Amanda is at the academy now, nothing to be done for it. Shes a fairly mischevious woman, and her bat familiar gets into everybody's way. Every time someone complains, she cackles madly. In fact, she probably tells the somewhat dimwitted bat to annoy everybody. She wont confirm that rumor, though. She is the one that fashioned the crystal into the amulet Amanda now wears, so is in part responsible for its effects.
~Ophelia Adder: Ophelia is another Aunt of Amanda's. She is her mother's eldest sister and is quite crabby and grumpy. Her medicines always taste particularly bad. She has a soft spot for youngsters, though, witch or not and has been known to lead lost children from the nearby undertown squatting areas away from her coven whenever possible, as there are some members that would love to use components taken from the children. She has been, however, known to chase rambunctious children with her gnarled wooden spoon if they bother her, so many of the children don't realize just how nice she is.
There are also various cousins and other aunts and grand aunts and such. Generally, Amanda was previously a fairly average, likable witchling. She was not particularly strong, nor particularly weak and so, while she was generally liked around her family group, she was not really the center of attention. It was when her magical issues manifested that the coven began to REALLY pay attention to her, mainly out of concern. Coven is curious as to how this whole Academy experience will turn out. Many of her family, and some of the nearby covens that chipped in to pay her tuition, are hoping that she will be a magic warrior and use her abilities to further the Circle's aims. Her mother and Aunts (the two mentioned), however, simply hope that she finds a path in life where she can be happy. The Queen, for her part, is sure that the girl will be killed in her training. However, in the meantime, the girl can be useful in researching new rituals and gathering information about the world outside of the Ronth Undercity. If she becomes an advocate for witches, so be it. If she becomes a warrior of the Circle of Silver, so be it. If she turns against her own heritage, so be it. Ridatha has no need to order Amanda to do what she wants, as her reports tell her that the girl appears to be soaking up information about magic anyway. So be it.
General backstory: Amanda Nightshade was born to a coven in the rind of the Circle of Silver territory. She was educated with stolen schoolbooks and kidnapped teachers) as well as by her aunts and cousins. She was a curious, innocent child, always exploring. She was exploring the Undercity's catacombs when she found a pretty white crystal that shimmered brighter than the iridescent fungus and crappy electric lights. She was really taken by the gem, and with the persistence (annoyance) of a child she managed to coax an aunt into making it into an amulet for her. She was growing up to be a very ordinary witch, and was just barely at the age where she would be expected to start contributing to some of the less nice rituals and rites, and possibly undergo her trials to be initiated into witch adulthood- a series of ritual tests that would not only act as an initiation ritual but would help her magical powers mature. Then the amulet, which had been biding its time and synchronizing with its host, activated and canceled out a majority of her abilities and spellcasting power. Suddenly, she was without spells, even things she used to be able to do in her sleep became suddenly difficult. The confused young witchling suddenly became the center of discussion, and the queen was even consulted. The only answer anybody could think of was to ask her Aunt, a fortune teller, to read her fate and to see where the best path lay. Her aunt began divining, trying as many methods as possible to try and find an unambiguous fortune. Tea leaves, Rat entrails, blood, bones and smoke... She tried each one. And eventually, she tried the trickiest one of all: she scryed Amanda's fate through a mirror washed with pure water thrice. Piecing it all together, she announced that, if they sent her to a place in (to them) far-off Crantel where she would be trained and be able to take on a great fate that would bring prosperity to her and to the clan. Seeing hope for this girl's future, the coven raised what they could, arranged things through what contacts the clan had on the surface, and managed to get her an application and a mode of transportation to Crantel and, eventually, to the Sidekick Academy. So, one day, Amanda suddenly had to pack up a two bags and a crate of her worldly possessions, hurry to the surface, find the docks, find the right ship, and leave home. By evening, as she stood thoroughly frazzled on the ship as it left Ronth, she had had a long, adventurous day. Her family had long since said goodbye to her, and had left her in the hands of bribed and lied-to contacts. It had turned out well, she was on her way, her papers were in order, her bags- with a series of changes of clothes, a spare robe or three, treats, components, and a few other bits and pieces were stowed in her cramped quarters, and her crate- with a few heavier things like her cauldron- sat in the hold. She was tired and maybe a tiny bit seasick when, looking up at the (absolutely wonderful) sky, she was struck by the beauty. It was a new moon that night, and the smog of the city parted here in the harbor to reveal the blackness where silver should be. And, for the first time, she thought about the next step in her adventure... and was no longer confused. She was excited.
The trip was uneventful. She stopped being sick after a while, but was more than happy to arrive in Crantel. There, someone (?) looked at her papers, and escorted her to the Academy...
Looks department: Amanda is of average unremarkable height. She has high cheekbones but otherwise fairly average and smooth features. She is likely to have a sheepish smile or a forced serious [removed](but you know she is really trying to smile). Anatomically, she is JUST beginning to get curves, and is fairly scrawny, mainly from a lack of proper nutrition but also from only average muscle mass (she isnt that weak, as she carries around large tomes and potions and things, but she isn't particularly atheletic either). Her eyes are a dark, clear blue and usually wide and innocent. Her hair is Auburn with gold and red natural highlights and falls in heavy, widely spaced cascading curls, that give it some serious weight and body. It is long (down to at least mid back) and either down in a mane along her shoulders and back, pulled up in a rough ponytail, braided, or in a bun depending on how she feels/how she needs it to be. It may also be held back with a headband. Her civilian clothing is actually her witches outfit: traditional black robes with a traditional somewhat absurd witches hat. Her civilian civilian clothing is a fuzzy knitted sweater and sweatpants... in all weather. The colors don't matter and can wildly clash... she just doesn't feel entirely comfortable if her body is not covered, and dresses are just too loose and frilly and a pain. There is also her amulet, the one that forced her to have superpowers. It is a clear crystal attached to a leather strap that she wears around her neck and hides in her shirt/robe when she has to. The leather is runed with small grey charcoal marks that grant it very mild (that is, ineffective IRP) protective powers (there is only so much you can do with charcoal and leather). The crystal istelf has a white glow to it. She has a Wand (grey, wooden, with lots of gnarls and whorls. A rod tapering to a dull point), which she occasionally uses, but since the amulet has supressed most of the spells that would require a focus such as a wand, its mostly just a reminder of home, or something she uses to keep track of her place in a dense reading. She also has a mixing spoon that looks like a large, ordinary mixing spoon (by large, I mean at least the size of her arm with a scooping part about the size of her hand.). Its end is stained grey-black, but fades to a warm, soft red-brown at the top, with a pewter ring through it allowing it to be hung up. (she may be drawn with either of these, as they are handy foci, or she may be drawn bare-handed)
If she gets a familiar (read: minipet) it would be nice to add them to further art stages as art...
Her hat is traditional, familiar, and reminds her of home, so she really would like to be wearing it whenever she possibly can. She doesnt wear it in superhero costume, but will wear it with her sweatshirt and sweatpants if she can...
Hi there! So far I think you've got a great start. Just have a couple question for you. : D
How does she find the amulet?
I think in her strengths, you should be a little more specific. Has she already had formal training? How did her attacks become 'devastating'? Keep in mind she's only a rookie at this stage, most kids at this stage just started learning to control their abilities.
I like the weaknesses your provided about the amulet. *___* b Though I am really curious about this background stuff you haven't written out yet because of the dark magic, the whole light vs. dark internal struggle, etc and then also how her aunt read her fortune. I want to know what her family dynamic is and all that jazz. And then also, her dad? Since it's a female witch community. D: I hope you write it out soon!
I think. I'm really confused about what you wrote for eerie. I don't understand what you mean by normal and how her witch background makes her come off as eerie? For someone as optimistic and happy all the time, I think you might need to think of a better way to explain her eerie trait if you're going to convince people of it.
Naive is a great trait for her, I'm curious how you'll play that one out in RP. u__u b
But anywho. Great start! I hope this was helpful. C:
Overall I think you need to expand on her powers a bit more. If her ability is magic, why does it manifest only in the form of a light-ribbon? Surely there is a reason she cannot perform other spells or rituals? The amulet worn on her neck is a light source, that's cool, but on a clear bright day, would she need it? You mentioned that she doesn't need light source to summon her ribbon thingys, so would she be wearing this amulet at all times for anything more than sentimental reasons? You mention that her powers were originally dark magics from the undercity, but not how that makes them 'weak' since in most circumstances dark magics are considered stronger than the white-hat cousins, why does this mean she is weaker? is it literally 'dark' magic and that she summons light is about pulling light from shadow? Could she summon a shadow-ribbon if she was really mad or something?
Personality wise, I really love how you have divided her into the good bad and mid-range, because we all have a range of traits that can be both good and bad, not just one way or another. Her 'neutral' traits though feel undeveloped though. She is interested in magic, which is normal for her, so how does this affect her socially or physically? Does she stay indoors in the library reading ancient arcane rituals instead of playing soccer? Does she blow up the science building because she wants to test a spell? Does she pursue magical studies to the detriment of another area of her life? Would she watch someone sacrifice a bum on the street because she wants to see a ritual completed, no matter how dark? Her bookwormy side is more like a hobby, and I think you might want to move it to a hobby section and put 'different morality' in the neutral area. As for eerie, we have a preppy nice girl who likes to read and is friendly and passionate about her causes; aside from the creepiness of the cheerleaders who say 'gosh, golly, gee wilkiers' when surprised, how is this eerie? She's a witch, sure, that will bother every monotheistic she meets; but only if she's blatantly advertising this fact.
Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:35 pm
hmmm how about hobbies/interests?? it's mentioned here and there in what you have so far, but writing it out with a little bit more detail might help flesh her out!
And a section for family members maybe O v O and her relationship with them
and where did she live in Ronth, like what is her home like and did she ever move or travel anywhere?
these things might help with the backstory~
Yulo-chan
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Yulo-chan
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:30 pm
Just dropping more feedback/questions here while you work on her profile xDDD
I think Amanda is cute * v * For the most part I love this concept you've come up with so far about the evil witches XD ! Some parts of it confuse me though lol so here we go ~
If her not being able to cast witch spells(not strong ones at least) was such a burden and their morality is considered 'evil,' why didn't the witches try to, you know, get rid of her amulet thing, to at least see what would happen(especially since it's light, the opposite of dark; do they have anything against light magic at all or?)? I know it's special to Amanda but is it more important to her than making her family proud, which is part of the reason why she's trying to hone her light powers in the first place?? Unless like, she just wants both the amulet and make her parents proud, with all the emotional conflict and drama and burden on the coven that comes with it, or she just doesn't know what is going on at all XD
Also in my opinion, normal and odd/weird are extremely subjective lol. For example, she may be weird to a person who's never had superpowers or never had any encounters with witchcraft, but oblivious people, like children, may not even notice the cauldron in her room. In my opinion, the food choices are very unnatural XDDDDD but then when you write about the cauldron in her room and the witch hat and cloak, it doesn't seem that weird at all, at least to me lol. In sidekick academy, lots of weird things happen, so some people might expect it. Amanda might fit right in, in the we're-all-weird-in-different-ways kind of way. Is it possible for someone to be normal and weird at the same time?? Do you mean like, she does weird things as if it were normal? Lol. Cuz that would make more sense to me XD
But if you mean that she acts like a normal person who just happens to do weird things on the side, then there are some important questions to ask: If she's been raised her entire life around witches who are considered to be 'bad' or 'evil' or have questionable morality, and she's sheltered from the rest of 'normal' world, and she has adopted some of the witches' questionable beliefs, how come when she leaves her coven, she fits in with society's idea of 'normal' other than odd tastes in food, the cauldron, and clothing?? Do witches make friends and treat each other the same way as 'normal' people do, and the questionable morality and witchcraft-y stuff are just things on the side that they happen to do/believe??
Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:46 pm
Updated!
Some concerns I have about my own quest:
Her spells. it made sense for her to have a few cantrips. But the intent is just for RP flavor and lols. If there are spells that are... too much, then I'd like to trim them down.
Also, I overhauled the whole thing, but got tired around her story and family, so if they aren't nice and fleshy... thats why.
XD
AH crap. I didn't see Yulo's critique >.< Well Lets see what I get
Powers: What does it actually do? At this point it just seems like she uses it for show and it doesn't actually harm anyone. Might want to add in how it is used to stop criminals and the like. I did see that you mentioned something about it in how she obtained her powers, but I think it would be nice for it to be include din here too.
Entering the Academy: One thing about the academy is that no one, except those on it, knows it exits or how to get to it. I like that her fortune was told and that is how the academy was found out about but I feel like it would have been harder to find where it was. Maybe that could all be explained better in a solo about how she got to the academy, but those are just my thoughts, take them as you will. Haha.
Strengths: Could her ability to do rituals and stuff count as a strength? She is one of the only to be able to do such a thing.
Personality : These are just things that might add to it, and things I'm just curious about What types of things is she passionate about? Does she find other people weird since she grew up sheltered?
History: Shouldn't her eyes bee sensitive to the light? She grew up underground in a dark area. I think unless she went up to the surface a lot, her eyes wold be somewhat sensitive.
But besides all that she is looking really good. c: Keep up at it.
Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2012 11:40 am
Alright. So. I'm reading through this again after your revisions. Woo. 8D You sure added a lot. lol.
First, personality. I really wonder what her 'morality' is because you say it's different. But how is it different? What would she deem normal that others would view as immoral? I think you need to put some real solid examples here for people to get a clear idea on what you mean by that.
Also some things that don't add up between her morality and naivety. If she's seen and acknowledges the 'evil' things of her witch society that include dark things which I assume are morally grey/black like killing/etc, how would she be naive to things like pain/death. This is where good examples of what her morality really is would come in handy. This also brings up the question of, why SA? Why be a hero? Unless she's going to SA with the initial idea that she is not training for that end goal in mind.
Second thing, the witches. With the way you're talking about witches, seems like you're encompassing the entire world in which SA exists to be the type of witches that you're portraying. It's fine to create societies within the world, but you can't say that these are the only types of witches in the world and that's just how it is. Perhaps your witch society is one within others or existing without knowing others. Even just encompassing all of Ronth is a lot, but the way you wrote about it seems like a worldwide interpretation. It needs to be left open for other possibilities and others who might decide to create a witch-type quest as well. If you're splitting it into clans, then simply write about your own. Others may choose to join you in what your definition of witches are but doesn't make your depiction absolute. That's all I'm saying. World building is perfectly fine for your own character, but not for the entirety of Megapolis. It is people's choice to oblige and accept your witch definition, not fact for everyone. Which I guess I should have made more clear when we said world building was okay for your own character.... lol. Sorry about that, I guess there may have been some miscommunication. There's nothing wrong with what you've written out about witches, just that it should only apply to Amanda and others solely if they choose to.
And in terms of her witch powers along with the ribbon of light thing, it's overpowering. Her ability to do all these minor spells while her main power should be the ribbon of light, there needs to be restrictions. Magical transmutation alone could be a single potential power. You've written them out with the possibility that she'll attain them eventually, I assume. The things like flight/scrying, mostly the things in your second list of spells. I would suggest shortening that list or putting major restrictions on them if you're making her main power/ability the light/light ribbon. Things like you've mentioned, preparation ie. time/place/materials etc. The minor stuff like minor illusions/transmutation/medicine magic, I think should be fine with restrictions on when/how she uses them and the whole preparation thing.
Anywho. Like I said before, good potential! Just the whole morality/witch personality things need to be clarified. It's still a bit confusing. And also be careful about overpowering. Hope this was helpful! : D
Will be doing a look over/editing soon, since my muse has undergone a really intense change of... changes
Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:08 pm
What do you consider your greatest achievement? Oh! Well, I don't think I've done it yet! But I... Well, I guess getting this far with my magic all locked up... What is your idea of perfect happiness? To be with my aunts and sisters and cousins, to be a member of the family and clan, and for them to be proud of me What is your current state of mind? Frustrated, but I'll get through it! I know I will! I have to! Momma scraped up so much money, I've never seen so much in my life. I have to make her efforts worth it! What is your favorite occupation? Being a witch! But I suppose being a hero works too! What is your most treasured possession? I would say my Amulet, but it's been so... bad... I'd have to say my hat. It's my reminder of what I am, I like how it looks, and its nice and warm. Oh, and it covers my head. What or who is the greatest love of your life? W.... who?! Oh my goodness! I don't have... Wait, I can pick a what? Oh good! Magic! Definitely! What is your favorite journey? When I was on the ship to Crantel. It was beautiful! The waves, the moon, the stars... Oh and the SUN! I'd never seen it before! I felt like the whole thing was a good beginning to something really special! It's been trying, but whenever I think about that boat trip, I feel a lot more motivated! What is your most marked characteristic? My magic. Or maybe my nose. It's... apparently long here...? When and where were you the happiest? At home with my family before my amulet gave me magical troubles... What is it that you most dislike? Stupid teammates who run off on their own and get beaten up! What is your greatest fear? That I will never be able to be more than a crippled witch. That I'll be worthless to a team. That someone I care about will die. That it will be because of me... What is your greatest extravagance? CHOCOLATE. Oh stars and moon I love that stuff! I try not to buy too much- Momma's money isn't much and I gotta save it for essentials like tuition and such, but... I cant help myself! I love it! Chocolate covered orange skins... Chocolate covered newts tails (I have to make my own...) Its so good!!! Which living person do you most despise? I don't... hate... anybody...? What is your greatest regret? I don't have one yet. I don't want one, but I have a feeling I'll be getting one. Which talent would you most like to have? Well... I'd like to have my powers back, or at least have some more of that light magic at my fingertips... But, you know... and dont tell anybody... I've always wanted to be a martial arts superhero person! Yeah! Take that baddies! But I'm a witch. Not going to happen. For now, Magic powers and a flying broom that actually works. Where would you like to live? With my family. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Not being able to help a team. Being the dead weight is a terrible feeling. Nobody wants you there, even if they love you. They wish you were somewhere else. And you try, you know? You try to be helpful and it just doesn't happen. And they look at you with that mix of frustration, loathing, and pity... and you just want to scream, or wander off somewhere and make yourself not a burden to them... … … *sob* What is the quality you most like in a man? Uhhhhhh... I guess.... Handsome? I don't have much experience with boys. What is the quality you most like in a woman? She's got to be strong, tough, smart... My family is all women, and we know what we're doing, and we couldn't do it without each other. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My weakness. Everybody has their own strengths, right? But mine got crushed. I hate them for leaving me so easily. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Hardheaded stupidity and rudeness! Stars and stone, some people! What do you most value in your friends? The ability to work together towards a common goal. Together we are stronger than the sum of the parts. Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Um... All of them? Whose are your heroes in real life? I don't know. Kind of confused right now. Which living person do you most admire? I'm not sure if I should say my Clan Queen.... I suppose her. But... My mother. She's my momma after all. She's always there for me. We are there for each other. What isn't there to admire. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Bravery. No use rushing in there alone. On what occasions do you lie? Maybe I stretch the truth a bit, or gloss it over... but actually lie... I dont know? Which words or phrases do you most overuse? AMAZING. STARS. And... things like that I guess. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I'd be powerful. I'd be really powerful, enough to be some sort of magical prodigy. What are your favorite names? Milla, Stein, Ricardo... How would you like to die? I'd like to die to help a friend. I would die for a friend. I want my death to have meaning to someone, to help them in some way. Teamwork, you know? If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? A... bat. They don't see, but they know.... OR NO! A Bee or an ant! They are the prime examples of teamwork! …. Whats the right answer? What is your motto? I will never EVER leave a friend behind
Ignore me. Just a character development questionairre
@Spell List Planning them out is just for the staff to get a general idea of where you're directing her powers. She doesn't have to figure them all out IC, it's to help gauge the level of her growth and if it could be in danger of OPed or maybe even underpowered. It can always be changed, but this will give us a better idea of how she'll develop. And it doesn't need to be spelled out to a T, generalization is all that's needed in this instance.
@Potions/Magic This should be a little clearer, what potions can she make at this stage? And details on how long it takes to make each potion/etc considering that she needs to contribute magic to it and have all the ingredients/ritual things etc. I would also consider combining the medicinal magic and transmutation, since it seems like you intend transmutation to be more of a helper to her medicine than actually transforming objects. And the wispy witch lights can probably be put under light magic. Because the way you've written things out, she has 5 different abilities, and that's quite a lot. Since you don't intend the 'illusion' part of her magic to advance in her stages, it may as well be a bonus light magic trick that she can do for kicks. I think condensing things will definitely help you out.
@Power Origins I was very confused about this until I read her motivation for entering the academy, maybe find a better way of intertwining that information? Because it says the amulet prevents her from using her usual powers but she can still use potion lore/low level magic. How does this affect her new light magic? Or is basically all her magic at this point low-level and/or makes her weak if she uses it? And it also seems the amulet is a curse since it puts her in a comatose state if removed but she disregards that because of sentimental value and aesthetic... Will she find a cure?
@Strengths/Weaknesses I really like that she's educating herself in other cultures of magic! It'd also be a great way of incorporating research on how to cure her curse. You might also consider adding another to each of these categories to round her out.
@Personality This all seems alright, though you might want to expand more on her positive traits because they're all kind of similar and that makes for one dimension. Amiable/Best friend may even be considered the same thing so perhaps merge them and think of another positive trait. And I find her different morality really interesting, it makes for great conflict. u w u b
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