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hello i'm writing a story and i need some feedback.

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anime_freak_for_life204

PostPosted: Fri Jul 27, 2012 9:12 am
Here is the first chapter. im not that confident about it, but i did my best on writing it.


Chapter One
Images of unknown people, creatures, places, and events flashed before a pair of bright ice blue eyes with flecks of lavender. A girl with long straight ink black hair with streaks of silver and lighting blue that flapped in the wind behind her stood on the edge of a cliff. The girl was wearing really baggy black and turquoise Tripp pants. They had silver straps and chains attached to the many small silver hoops that were attached to the straps that hung to the sides of her legs. There were several black pockets outlined with turquoise thread. She also wore a really loose black T-shirt that had two green and black dragons holding a silver katana in their mouths. The Katanas crossed over each other forming an ‘X’.
The girl stared off into the distance, watching the images that flashed in front of her. She slowly closed her eyes and blocked out everything that surrounded her and focused on the images. Suddenly a lightning bolt struck the sky above; dark, dull, grey clouds began to rapidly fill the sky, heavy and hard rain drops spilled out of the clouds with a violent force. The girl shot open her eyes and looked around, but there was no sign of a storm or anything that she had just seen. The scenery was the same and the sky was as clear as it was before she closed her eyes.
The girl inhaled and exhaled large amounts of air, beads of sweat formed on her forehead and streamed down her face. The vision she had just seen shocked her greatly and threw her in a state of alarm. After a few minutes her breathing returned to normal and she stopped sweating. The images had stopped flashing and her sight returned to normal.
“Marina!” Somebody shouted from the base of the cliff. “It’s time to go!” The voice shouted again.
Marina turned around and looked towards the bottom of the cliff. At the bottom of the cliff was an older woman in her late thirties, an older man in his early forties, two younger twins in their early teens, and a boy in his early twenties.
Marina and her family lived on Reinvail, an island part of a collection of islands, called Cluster Isles. Cluster Isles was made up of five other islands; Ankaria, Auranya, Hazzell, Frautzeil, and another island separated from the rest, called Sparklight. Reinvail was the island that received, made, and delivered weapon materials to the other islands.
Marina stood there for a few moments before she turned around and left the edge of the cliff, joining her family at the bottom. When she reached them, they nodded at her, and then headed towards the ship port.
“Marina, Hazzell isn’t as bad as it seems. It’s actually quite nice where we are going to be living, you’ll see,” Marina’s mother said. Marina turned and looked directly into her mother’s eyes.
Marina’s mother had bright scarlet eyes and long, straight ink black hair that went all the way down to her calf muscles. Her mom had on a bright yellow t-shirt with pink, orange, and white flowers plastered all over it. And she had on light blue jeans.
“That’s what everyone says, but how do I know that, for me Hazzell could be no better than this place. No doubt me going there will only bring chaos,” Marina stated more sourly than she intended.
“How sure of that are you? Do you believe in everything those visions of yours show you? How can you simply think that what they show you will come to pass?” Marina’s father asked annoyed.
Marina turned to look at her father. He had short, shaggy, midnight blue hair. His eyes were bright ice blue. Marina’s father was wearing a black button up shirt with blue and white flames plastered on the bottom of it and he wore dark blue jeans.
“Did you forget about what happened in the past when I had these visions? I know you did not forget about the time my school principle called you when I was in fifth grade, because I said that one of the female students was going to be shoved down the stairs by another female student out of jealousy and it actually happened, or when I made a comment to my seventh grade teacher saying to contact the office, because someone had planted a bomb inside the insulation above her classroom in the ceiling, and when they contacted the police to investigate it, they actually found the bomb. I wonder how it was possible for them to get that information from a fourteen year-old. All that information came to me from my visions, now you tell me whether I should believe what my visions show me is real or not?” Marina asked firmly.
Marina’s father remained silent and did not respond to her, because he knew that when she brought up the events that occurred in the past that he could not argue against it. He also knew that when Marina actually had visions she would only mention them if they showed her that someone around her was in danger or about to be in danger. For the rest of the way to the ship port, they walked in silence. When they reached the ship port, Marina stared at it darkly; she felt an ominous feeling surrounding the ship port, which made her uncomfortable. The ship port was made out of white and grey bricks and had huge indestructible glass windows. Big double glass doors loomed over the entrance. On the inside of the ship port, people of all ages and sizes were scattered throughout the entire ship port. Small gift shops, restaurants, book stores, and show cases of weapons were lined up and down the aisles.
Marina glanced around the ship port and felt the cold and dark atmosphere more intensely than from when she stood outside. Marina shivered and looked at her family; they seemed to be unbothered. Aside from her, Marina felt that everyone else was completely obliviously to the tension in the air. Marina let out a sigh which got the attention of her brother. Her brother glanced at her from the corner of his eye and noticed that she was unable to stop glancing around as if something or someone was watching her every move.
“Marina what’s wrong?” He asked
Marina looked at her brother. He had bright golden yellow eyes and short shaggy crimson hair. He had on really baggy black and purple Tripp pants that matched Marinas’ pants and he also had on a loose dark blue plain t-shirt on.
“I just don’t like the feeling this place gives off, I just want to quickly find our ship and board it, that’s all,” Marina responded.
“Oh, and what kind of feeling is this place giving off?” He asked.
“A dark and cold feeling, it makes me feel uncomfortable,” She responded.
“Oh, I see,” He responded quietly.
Marina’s ship gate was Banjer A, their ship was already boarding. Marina’s father walked up to the clerk, handed him the tickets, and headed through the tunnel that lead out to their ship. When Marina reached the ramp to board the ship, a vision flashed before her and caused her to slip on the ramp due to it being slightly wet from the mist created by the ocean. Before Marina fell onto the ramp, she put her hands out in front of her to stop the fall, but her hands slipped. As Marina fell forward, someone caught her by the waist and stopped her from hitting the ramp with her head. Marina looked over her shoulders and saw a guy holding her; Marina tried to stand but had no strength in her legs, so the guy held her by the arm and gently helped steady her.
“Thank you,” Marina said.
“You’re welcome, and are you okay?” The guy asked.
“Yes I’m okay,” Marina said calmly. Though she said that, the guy could tell that she was not okay. Marina had turned paled and was taking in silent deep breaths.
“Marina!” Her mother shouted. “What are you thinking causing a scene like that and bothering this young man?” She asked angrily.
“It’s not my fault, my vision became blurry and I missed my footing, this guy was only helping me up, I didn’t do anything wrong,” Marina stated in annoyance.
“Just, stop holding up the line and get on the ship already,” Her mom said disappearing inside.
Marina sighed and bent down to pick up her luggage, but as she bent down to pick them up the cold and dark atmosphere intensified and she froze. Marina did not move, her eyes became wide with fear and small beads of sweat began forming on her forehead. Marina took in a deep breath and tried to continue picking up her luggage, but once again she was thrown into an abyss of visions and could not see them. Due to the pressure of the atmosphere intensifying and the force of her visions, Marina blacked out and again the guy from before caught her. When the guy caught Marina her body went limp and he noticed that she had blacked out. The guy then picked up Marina, held her in his left arm, grabbed her luggage with his right hand, and carried her onto the ship. When he entered the ship carrying Marina, he saw her parents look at him and sigh.
“Great she’s causing trouble for others again,” Her father stated in annoyance. “We are sorry you have to carry her,” He added.
“It’s no trouble at all, sir, though I suggest you allow her to rest, she looked a bit pale earlier, when I first caught her. Also you shouldn’t ignore her if she’s like this; it could lead to some dangerous situation,” The guy replied.
“Who are you?” Marina’s mother asked.
“My name is Leo,” He replied. Leo had long, shoulder length jet black, curly hair with blue and white streaks. His bright ruby eyes gleamed with sapphire flecks. Leo had on loose black fighting pants that fit snugly on his hips and he wore a black t-shirt that had a white wolf with piercing ice blue eyes plastered in the middle of the shirt holding two kissing crane black Bowie knives in its mouth with blood dripping from the tip of the blades. Hanging around Leo’s neck was a black chain with a white and blue wolf pendant attached to the bottom of it.
“Where are you staying so that I can take her to her room?” Leo asked Marinas’ parents.
“We are staying on the second floor on the far end, in the second to last room on left side, and near the window is where Marina’s bed will be,” Marina’s mother replied.
Leo nodded and headed up stairs with Marina’s parents following him, and entered their room, and laid her on the bed. Then he left and headed up stairs to the top floor where the control room was and remained there.
“What a strange boy,” Marina’s father commented. Her mother nodded in agreement then they left the room and went to walk around the ship.
Marina’s brother remained in the room while the twins followed after their parents; he looked over at Marina and saw that she was calm and relaxed. A gentle breeze swept across the over grown, vast plain. The tall grass, flowers, and weeds moved slowly back and forth. Fluffy white clouds slowly drifted across the vast blue sky. The sun was sitting high in the sky, its blinding rays blazing the Earth. Birds chirped as they fluttered by, butterflies flew around in the grass, flowers, and weeds, rabbits dashed out here and there along with other small animals that roamed the sky and ground.
A boy with long shoulder length curly dark brown hair with red and black streaks pulled back into a loose ponytail and bright lapis lazuli eyes with white flecks walked silently across the plain. He had on a long red and black trench coat that reached to his ankles, a loose grey t-shirt with a black and blue phoenix with silver tipped tail and wing feathers was plastered in the middle of the shirt. He also had on loose white fighting pants that sat snuggly on his hips. Swaying back and forth form around his neck was a black and white tiger pendant attached to a silver chain. As the boy walked across the plain all the animals paused with what they were doing and quietly watched him with mild interest. Suddenly a black, blue, and silver blur shot across the plain from the left side and stopped next to the boy’s left shoulder and landed on it. Once it had landed the blur became a black and blue phoenix with silver tipped tail and wing feathers. The moment the phoenix had landed the vision changed instantly.
Dark, thick grey clouds floated along the sky, blocking out the bright sun. Small rumbles of thunder sounded in the distance, bright bolts of lightning struck the sky. Small clear rain drops began spilling out of the sky. The ocean waves became stronger and bigger, they slammed harshly against the rocky cliffs surrounding the entire island. A small boy stood in the center of one of the massive mountains that made up the island. The boy had short, straight black hair that covered his eyes. All he was wearing was a plain black shirt that had ripped sleeves and plain black pants that were ripped at the bottom. Standing behind the small boy were strange, black creatures that had elegant silver and gold markings covering their bodies. Their ears were big at the bottom but got skinnier towards the top, and the tips were slightly bent. One of the creatures said something to the boy, but Marina could not understand what they were talking about, because the storm blocked out their voices. Once the creature had spoken to the small boy, a mischievous smile formed across his lips, and then the vision ended.
Marina slowly opened her eyes, when she managed to get them slightly open she blinked several times to focus her vision. Then she turned her head from side to side, trying to figure out where she was. Then she noticed her brother was staring at her and watching her and she sat up.
“Koiyumi where are we?” Marina asked her brother.
“We are in one of the rooms on the ship,” Koiyumi replied.
Marina looked around the room, there were small white curtains hanging over the windows. A small table with a white lamp was in between two red chairs that were near the left wall. A small kitchen and dining room was on the right side of the door. A bathroom was in the back right corner and there were three beds. One was a queen sized bed, one was a twin sized bed, and the one that Marina was on was another twin sized bed.
“How long was I out?” Marina asked.
“You were out for an hour and a half,” Koiyumi replied.
Marina sighed and placed her right hand lightly on her forehead. This was the third time she had a long vision this week. This has gotten worse; it’s not going to get any better, even if we move to Hazzell, Marina thought to her-self.
“Where are mom, dad, and the twins?” asked Marina.
“They went to explore the ship. Do you want to go do the same?” Koiyumi asked.
Marina nodded in response. Marina threw her legs over the left side of the bed and stood up, walked over to the bathroom, went inside and began washing her face. After she was done washing her face and drying it off, she left the room with Koiyumi. When Marina stepped out of the room, she noticed that the ship had already left the port and was heading to Hazzell; it takes two days to make it to Hazzell. Marina walked over to the rail and looked out into the ocean. The cool ocean breeze smelled of fresh salt water, it was calm and relaxing to Marina. Marina was about to turn from the rail and continue walking down the aisle with her brother, when something grabbed her right arm. Marina whipped around to find a small, black creature, the same kind of creature from her vision. The creature had dark blood red eyes with swirls of jade green surrounding the eye. The creature had a really tight grip on Marina’s arm, and was trying to pull her over the railing.
“Koiyumi, help me!” Marina shouted to her brother.
Koiyumi turned and looked at Marina and saw she was being pulled closer and closer towards the edge of the railing, but he could not see what was pulling her. He ignored the fact that he could not see anything and rushed over to help her. Koiyumi grabbed Marina’s left arm that was wrapped around the pole and tried pulling her back, but the creature did not yield and was pulling even harder on her right arm. Marina let out a painful screech that caught all of the passengers walking on the second floors’ attention. They turned and looked in Marina’s direction and saw her being pulled over the railing, but they could not see what was pulling her, all they saw was Koiyumi trying to keep her from going over and Marina being pulled closer to the edge of the rail. The passengers did the same thing Koiyumi did; they ignored that they couldn’t see anything and went to help anyway. Each of them grabbed hold of Koiyumi with each person holding onto the next person.
As each of them grabbed hold of the other and helped Koiyumi from letting Marina not go over the rail. The creature which none of them could see, except for Marina, pulled even harder and this time Koiyumi’s grip loosened on her arm and the front half of Marina was pulled over the railing and was hanging there, before the rest of Marina went over the railing, Koiyumi grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back. Marina then saw more of the creatures appearing and grabbing hold of the one that had its grip on Marina’s arm. Marina’s eyes widened with fear as more of them appeared out of nowhere and grabbed onto the other. The more they pulled her, the more pain she felt in her arm. Marina let out another painful screech, this time it was louder than the last time and it caught more passengers’ attention.
“Hey, what do you think is going on over there?” A passenger asked another passenger.
“It seems that a girl is being pulled over the railing on the second floor by someone unseen force. No one who goes over there can see what’s pulling the girl all they see is her going over the rail,” The passenger replied.
“If they can’t see what’s pulling her, don’t you think that it’s all a trick of wanting to get everyone’s attention?” The passenger asked.
“If that was the case, then half the girl would not be hanging over the railing and something pulling her by the arm, all of them can tell that it is no joking prank, it’s real, and besides if it was a prank, I don’t believe the girl would cry out in pain and try to throw herself over the railing,” The other passenger replied.
“Are you serious?” the passenger asked shocked.
“Yup,” The other passenger replied.
More passengers came to help Marina and Koiyumi, while a mass of people began to crowd around them, intrigued by the commotion. Upon noticing the screaming, Marina’s family came rushing towards them.
“Marina, Koiyumi!” shouted their family. Finally they made it through the crowd and grabbed Marina around the waist like Koiyumi was doing.
Marina was now staring at the creature fully in the eyes and it, too, was staring in Marina’s eyes. The more they stared at each other the more its grip tightened on Marina’s arm. The creature then let out a horrendous screech which caused Marina to freak out even more. Marina then tried to release her arm from the creatures clutches but was unsuccessful. All she did was cause it to pull harder. This time the creature pulled with all of its strength and all of Marina went over the railing except for her feet which Koiyumi and her family quickly grabbed hold of. Just as Koiyumi and everyone else’s grip became weaker and were about to let go, Leo appeared and with his black Kissing Crane Bowie Knife he stabbed the creature’s hand.
Thick, dark, bluish green blood gushed out of the creature’s hand, the creature immediately let go of Marina and let out a more horrifying cry than from before. Before the creature fell into the ocean two black, thin wings emerged from the creatures back along with all the other creatures. Its wings were three feet long and four feet wide. The wings looked like fronds except that they were completely covered in feathers and in strange silver and gold markings. The creatures glared viciously at Leo then disappeared from sight. Marina was finally pulled back over the rail and she fell to the floor. She let out big gasps of air and drops of sweat ran down her face and dripped onto the floor. Marina lifted her arm and wiped off the sweat, she the noticed a big bruise was forming on the spot where the creature had grabbed her. Leo bent down and looked at Marina in the eyes, Marina looked back at him, and Leo glanced at her arm and saw the bruise.
“Come with me, please,” He stated with a serious tone. Marina nodded, stood up, and left with Leo.
“I’ll need a private moment with her,” He said to Marina’s family before leaving with her. Her family did not respond, but only watched them as they left the second floor and headed upstairs to the third floor.
Leo led Marina upstairs to the third floor; he walked down the aisle, stopped in front of the last door on the left side, and opened the door. Marina entered the room after him. When Marina entered Leo’s room she noticed that it was the same style as her room, the only difference was that Leo had only one bed in his room, there was a desk with a strange computer sitting on it in the left back corner, and there was a real life wolf sitting in the center of the room. The wolf had pure white fur with bright blue streaks running through it. Its eyes were piercing ice blue with white swirls surrounding the pupils and the tips of its ears and nose were jet black. The wolf stared at Marina with interest then it directed its attention towards Leo.
“Well this is certainly interesting, you bringing a human girl to your room,” The wolf stated.
Leo also gave the wolf his attention “That is because she is no ordinary human,” He stated simply.
“Oh is that so, and how is she not an ordinary human? She certainly looks ordinarily human to me,” The wolf commented.
Marina stood there near the door watching the wolf with mild shock and a lot of interest. Marina could not believe her eyes, here she was on a ship and yet there was a wolf standing in front of her. One she had never seen the likes of. For Marina it was truly fascinating to see it, then a memory of a vision flashed before her, and she stumbled back into the door and placed her right hand on her face. When she had lifted her right arm, the pain form the bruise that was forming, shot through her like a bullet and she gasped. Marina glanced at her arm and at the bruise. She noticed the coloring was not of a normal bruise.
On the outside surrounding the bruise was a black ring, after the black ring was a bigger ring that was yellowish white, after that ring was a larger ring that was a slightly darker gem blue, and the center of the bruise was completely dark purple. Marina’s eyes widened with fear and shock as she stared at the bruise. Marina lifted her left hand to touch it, a hot burning sensation shot throughout her body and sent chills down her spine. After feeling the pain from the bruise she let out small wisps of air.
Leo and the wolf had been watching Marina from when she had stumbled backwards and bumped into the door. Leo walked over to Marina and helped her stand up. He then noticed the change in her bruise and quickly rushed her over to his bed, he sat her down on the edge, went into his kitchen grabbed a strange kit, walked back over to Marina, and opened the kit. Inside the kit were unknown devices that Marina did not recognize.
“What are you going to do?” Marina asked Leo.
“I’m going to treat this bruise, with the right equipment, and to answer your next question these are not medical tools you are familiar with,” Leo replied.
Marina did not say anything more; she remained quiet and watched Leo treat her bruise. The wolf had moved from its spot and was now standing next to Leo. The wolf then began to aid Leo with the treatment. The treatment only took Leo and the wolf thirty minutes to complete. When Leo was done, he wrapped the bruise in a black nylon bandage. Marina looked at the bandage for a few minutes then lowered her arm and looked at Leo.
“What were those creatures?” Marina asked
“They are known as the war demons, and they cannot be seen by normal humans. Only those who have the special eyes or abilities that make them different from the other humans are able to see them. In our case you are able to see them while others cannot because of two reasons. The two of which I just named. As for me I am able to see them due to having a special ability, yes I may have different hair and eye color, but that is simply due to the ability that I possess,” Leo stated.
“What are the war demons exactly?”
“They are foul, dark creatures that come from a land that is not of this world.”
“How is it that they are able to come here?”
“They come here by means of a portal. This portal is not easily controlled nor is it easily found, much less useable for the weaker war demons. But the stronger war demons take on whatever form they find worthy of being and are able to open the portal and control it at will.”
“Do they transform into human forms?”
“Most certainly not, they despise the human race with greater hatred than we can imagine. They take on the forms of animals or they remain in their original form, since ordinary humans cannot see them.”
“Then what do they want with me? Why was one of them trying so hard to pull me over the railing?”
“Oh, so that is why you have that bruise on your arm and why Leo brought you to our room,” the wolf said interrupting the conversation.
Marina looked at the wolf and asked. “Who are you and where did you come from, if I may ask?”
“I am Nomuro, Leo’s creature partner,” Nomuro said.
“What do you mean by ‘creature partner’?” Marina asked Nomuro.
“Like it sounds, I aid Leo in battle, healing, and spying. We work as a team; we are as one,” Nomuro explained simply.
“But you are a wolf are you not?”
“Yes I am, but as you can see my colors are not that of your typical human world wolf. Not only that your average typical wolf cannot speak your language. I am a wolf, but a wolf of a different origin.”
“Then where do you originate from?”
“You will have time to learn about that later,” interrupted Leo, ending Marina’s and Nomuro’s conversation. “For now we need to figure out why those war demons were so determined to take you with them. What is their purpose for coming all the way to this ship for you?” Leo asked out loud.
“If I knew the answer to that, then I wouldn’t have gotten into such a situation. Not to mention I didn’t even know what those creatures were until now,” Marina responded coldly.
“I’m aware of that. May I ask you something?” Leo asked
“What. Are you going to ask me about my ‘abnormalities’?” questioned Marina coldly.
“Precisely,” replied Leo.
Marina sighed, “I can see visions of things that are going to happen in the future. These visions that I have affect me as well as the people around me.”
Surprised at what Marina confessed, Leo and Nomuro stood in silence for a moment. They knew that such ability was rare. During the time that Leo and Nomuro were searching for the one who possessed this particular ability, most who said they did were lying.
“You‘re not lying are you?” Leo asked a bit skeptically.
“I wouldn’t lie about something like this. I’m not that type of person,” Marina replied annoyed at the question.
“I see, but we’re going to have to make sure of that, we can’t just assume that you’re telling the truth, since we hardly know you,” Leo replied.
“Oh for heaven sakes, you guys are no different from everyone else! You ask me what’s different about me and yet you treat me like I’m some sort of lying attention-grabber!” Marina stated harshly and loudly.
Just then the door burst open and Koiyumi came in, clearly showing his displeasure. Koiyumi walked into the room and stood next to Marina. Nomuro had vanished before Koiyumi could see him, which surprised Marina. Koiyumi glanced at Leo and glared at him, the glare sent out a loathing feeling, one that sent chills down Marina’s back. Marina glanced at Koiyumi from the corner of her eye and instantly was submerged by a vision, causing Marina to stagger backwards, and place her left hand on her forehead. The moment her hand touched her forehead, the vision played before her eyes.
The war demons had returned to the ship and were trying a different means of capturing her. The war demons first attacked the control room, trying to kill all who was inside. Some went and cut off the electricity to create a black out that would distract everyone’s attention. Once they had their attention directed elsewhere, they went to search for Marina. The war demons went about the ship killing all the humans in their path. Marina stood within a concealed dark room that had no windows or anyway of contacting anyone from the outside. Inside the room with Marina was her family. Leo had left the room with Nomuro and went to hunt down the war demons and take out all that were in their path. Many passengers laid dead, severely wounded, or on the verge of death along the floors and aisles. The war demons had completely taken over the ship and were determined to find Marina and capture her. After a while one of the war demons had found the room that Marina and her family were hiding in and headed towards it. Just as they were about to enter the room the vision ended.
After the vision had ended Marina found herself leaning back against the wall. Large beads of sweat formed on her forehead and streamed down her face. Marina wrapped her arms around herself and began to shiver and shake. Marina was breathing hard and was finding it difficult to control it. Koiyumi, Leo, and Nomuro who was invisible, stared and watched Marina, then Koiyumi walked over to her.
“Hey are you okay, Marina?” Koiyumi asked worried.
“No I’m not I just had a horrifying vision,” Marina replied in a shaky voice.
“What was in the vision that made it so horrifying?” Koiyumi asked.
“Would you believe me if I told you?” Marina asked looking up and staring straight into Koiyumi’s eyes.
Koiyumi thought for a brief moment and then replied. “Yes I would, but it depends on what it is you saw,” He stated.
Marina sighed at his answer. “Then I’m not going to tell you,” She stated looking away from him.
“Then how about telling me?” Leo asked looking at Marina and watching her reaction.
Marina looked over at Leo and noticed Nomuro standing next to him, but couldn’t understand why Koiyumi was unable to see him and why she saw him now. Marina looked away from them and stared at the ground for a few moments before responding. “Fine I’ll tell you what I saw, but the moment I tell you, you need to take the right actions before it happens.” Marina said firmly and with a serious tone while she looked straight into Leo’s eyes, not showing any type of wavering.
“Fine you have my word.” Leo stated with the same tone as Marina used.
Marina took in a deep breath and relayed what she had seen in her vision and she also told them exactly when it was going to happen, and where the war demons would appear. Right after she finished Marina saw Leo and Nomuro’s expressions darken, while Koiyumi became grim and turned pale. Keeping his word, Leo immediately left his room and headed to the control room with Nomuro following behind.  
PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2012 3:45 pm
I like but ur giving to much details about marina And the setting  

skeithdreamer

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