Original Fan Fiction, By Me

[Red Devil Anime Queen]

Hey guys! I just released my very own first fan fiction, starring EXO's Baekhyun (he's my bias, you see). So since I'm not internet famous or anything, I'd always be super happy when i get followers or subscribers. So read my fan fiction, please! heart
Also, if anyone uses Tumblr, follow me!

Tumblr :
http://fantasizing897.tumblr.com/ --> start at Episode 1

AsianFanFics(AFF) : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/218930/baekhyun-hey-buddy-exo-baekhyun

Thanks, guys!  

[minicent12]

I'll just say what I truly think about it....
so don't be offended in any way.
I think it needs a bit improvement
because at the beginning it doesn't seem to catch the readers attention.
You should be more detailed about the surroundings so the reader would feel like their in it themselves. and the characteristics of this person should be detailed as well.
can I ask you why you did it in 2nd person?