Make me a creative story that doesn't make sense! :D

[Asian Gasm]

Here, let me make you all a story first. c:

IN A VALLEY NOT SO FAR AWAY, THERE WAS A VELOCIRAPTOR THAT HAD SOME SERIOUS DYSLEXIA. AND HIS NAME WAS SOCKYMCSOCKERSTEIN. AND HE WANTED TO BUILD A LADY VELOCIRAPTOR SEX DOLL TYPE THING. BECASUE HE WAS LONELY OF COURSE. ANYWAY, HE TRIED MAKING IT OUT OF WATER BECUASE HE'S STUPID AF. AND HE JUST KEPT TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING. AND THEN KEPT FAILING AND FAILING AND FAILING. UNTIL ONE DAY. WHEN THIS CUTE LITTLE FAIRY COMES OUTTA NOWHERE WITH AN M16 AND JUST BLOWS SH*T UP AND DESTROYS EVERYTHING. INCLUDING THE VELOCIRAPTOR AND THE FAIRY'S NAME WAS DESTROYA AND THEN WHEN IT WAS FINISHED WREAKING HAVOC ON THE LAND, A GIANT A*S SHARK WHALE FALLS FROM THE SKY AND I GUESS IT WAS A NUKE BECAUSE WHEN IT LANDED THE ENTIRE WORLD BLEW UP.

And the galaxy lived happily ever after.

 

[MagiPuff]

Once upon a time. A unicorn from under the ocean came onto the land. It's fins couldn't carry it very far so soon it was captured by a crazed toucan. But soon the unicorn shed it's fins and grew long luscious legs of steel and it ran away. After sixty million years it grew fur and a long mane and turned into steel. The end.

 

[TheWhirld]

EVERYONE knows how Loki, God of Mischief, has a handful of strange epic children. what no one but he knows, however, is that he adopted another child. a small human that went by the name of Bob. Loki hid Bob in a secret room connected to his chamber, vowing to never let anyone see him lest he become a target for hate and jealousy. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want Loki to adopt them, right? But Bob began to grow bored.
"Loki!" He screamed. "Let me out!" He banged on all the walls until he got a response.
"Bob, my son, it is not safe for you out there! do you know what my people would do to you if they knew of your existence? my dear boy, they would slap you with fish!" Loki's face became concerned at the horror Bob expressed at that.
"But I'm allergic to fish!" Bob's eyes were wide and Loki could only bring himself to nod in response.
"I know, but they do not. they do not understand the concept of allergies, as we gods never have them." he sighed, shaking his head. "This is the only way you are safe, Bob."
Bob stared at him, his expression going from horrified to unreadable. "Then send me back to where I came from. Surely I shall be accepted there!"
Loki sighed in exasperation. "Bob, your people do not like things they do not understand. they will not know how you arrived and they will shun you!"
"Then... turn me into a fetus and stick me in some woman's womb! I will not stay stuck here any longer, Loki!" He shook his head furiously, and Loki's face crumpled slightly.
"All these years, you still refuse to call me father." Bob became angry at that.
"You were the same with Odin, and you didn't even know you were adopted! You have no right to hold that against me!" His voice was frustrated, and Loki slowly sat on the stairs leading to the door.
"You are right, of course. Give me a moment to concentrate on the spell, if you please?" Bob's face turned excited, but he remained silent. Loki closed his eyes and furrowed his brow, trying to remember the woman whose life story and memories he had altered to keep bob as his own. Her image grew in his mind, and he nodded to himself. "I shall miss you, my son." He lifted his hand and Bob started to de-age, shrinking quickly. when he barely fit into Loki's hand, the god whispered the words that would teleport the now tiny human back to his mother.
Somewhere on earth, a woman rushed from bed to the bathroom, a wave of nausea pulling her from sleep. She retched into the toilet, and when she finished, her husband had joined her.
"Elsie, it's barely seven, what could have you ill this early?" His face was concerned, and Elsie considered the question before a smile slowly slid to her face.
"Do you remember the last time this happened?" Her husband seemed confused, but she looked down to her belly lovingly. "Many years ago. I was ill in the mornings, and my belly grew in size." She opened her mouth to continue, but the man's eyes were wide and he cut her off.
"You're pregnant?" She shrugged and half nodded.
"It's the most likely conclusion."
Sure enough, a handful of months later, the couple found themselves in a hospital, the woman holding a baby boy in her arms.
"He says his name is Bob." She stared at the child lovingly. his small hazel eyes looking around the room lazily before focusing on his mother.
"Knows who his daddy is, huh?" Her husband joked, and Elsie grinned wider.
"Robert Jr. it is, then." She looked up at her husband and her smile grew soft. The elder Robert's eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at the child affectionately.
"Robert Downey Jr. I like the sound of that."
In a dimension parallel to their own, another child was born, identical to the one Elsie held. Time was different, and the count was many years more than that of Elsie and Robert's time. The small baby cried, hazel eyes staring up at his mother.
"What should we name him, Maria?" The man at her side seemed torn, paternal affection taking over while his subconcious screamed at him to get back to work.
"Tony, I think." Maria smile.
Many years after Loki sent Bob back to earth, he found himself on the planet. however, it was different than he recalled; not only time's affects, but the land felt different, a different aura wrapping around him as he found himself in the dark room. He saw the tesseract nearby, and his mind washed over by a power not his own.
Later, he only came to himself through the haze when they had him on the helicarrier. He caught sight of a man that looked awfully familiar, and after a moment his breath caught.
"Bob."
"Bob? What are you talking about? I'm tony." Loki just frowned and shook his head. The power swallowed him once more, but this time he remembered every moment he spent behind it. He felt more peaceful, now; his son was happy.



because I'm lame and blah and feel free to ignore this because it totally sucks but I feel like posting it anyway >.<