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guild for Sidekick Academy, a superhero b/c! Or sidekick, if you wanna see it that way... 

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[CRIT] Gorgon, Villus Coiffure

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laykein

Man-Hungry Sailor

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:17 am
Hero alias: Gorgon
Real name: Villus Ben Coiffure
Powers/abilities: Trichokinesis - The power in which one can manipulate their own hair.
The user can move their hair as if it were appendages. Can grab subjects/objects with locks and strands. Users may allow hair to grow out rapidly to allow an adequate supply to work with. If he gets skilled enough, he may shape and lock his hair into other objects to attack or protect with. Due to hair not having nerves, attacks or damage are virtually harmless.
As a rookie :: Strength of hair is equivalent to strength of own arms.
xxxxxxx:: Given a haircut causes a shortage of power.
xxxxxxx:: Control like a monkey would its tail, not enough skill to use it as arms.
xxxxxxx:: Can alter the color and length of their own hair. The color of his hair is uncontrolable at this moment and changes with his emotions.
xxxxxxxxxxxxNormal :: White
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxAngry :: Black
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxSad :: Blue Gray
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxHappy :: Light Blond.


User ImageWhich area is the character based/from: Tasea
Age upon entering academy: 15
How did your character get their powers: Cursed Ship in a Bottle
The bottle, a simple glass bottle, was found at a small trinket shop down a couple of blocks from where Villus lived in Tasea. The bottle itself is a glass drink bottle, small enough to sit in his hand with just the nozzle hanging over the tips of his fingers. A cork sits in the mouth of the bottle keeping the treasure inside from being reached. Inside the bottle is a small brown wooden ship. It has three sails of varying lengths and looks like an pirate old ship that use to sail the seas. He bought this ship in a bottle because it caught his attention and seemed like it almost called out to him. There was something so entrancing about the ship that he just had to own it. The odd thing would fit at home with his other small trinkets that he owned. After purchasing the bottle, he took it home and placed it on a shelf with his other things. There was something about the thing that just kept calling out to him and finally it got to him. He tried to pull the cork out of the bottle, but it wasn't giving in easily. He fought with the thing for an added total of four hours over the course of a week. One day, while home alone, he finally was able to rip the cork out out of the bottle, he almost celebrated. Something magical and mysterious happened at that point, and Water came bursting from the bottle; the force of which knocked Villus back onto the floor. He felt like he was drowning in the water and kept swallowing mouthful after mouthful. He was at the brink of feeling like there was no way he would survive these odd ordeal and ended up going unconscious from the lack of air. Just when it seemed like the end, the water seeped into the floor and vanished as quickly as it had appeared. When he came to, the cork was back in the bottle and his clothes were dry. His hair had been bleached to a white color because of the extreme fear he felt from almost dying. Over the next weeks his hair seemed to grow much faster until it finally reached the floor. It wasn't far from this moment that his powers started to show themselves. He is still unsure how this happened and what caused it.

:: The ship inside the bottle is actually an ancient pirate ship that still has the souls and ghosts of the pirates on it. The bottle had been enchanted to prevent the men from escaping and causing anymore harm to people.
:: The water inside was also enchanted to help keep the spirits and ship inside.
:: The enchantment is also a curse when coming into contact with living human organs. Since Villus swallowed a lot of it, it has cursed his body and changed it.
:: These changes are actually just affecting his hair. It works differently on different people.
:: He still keeps the boat, not sure as to what happened but doesn't let others touch it.
Motivation for entering academy: He ran away from home, saw himself as a freak and needed something to feel normal. Although he wasn't aiming for the Academy at first, he ended up there. It was the only place he could feel safe and seem like a normal person.
"How does a freak become anything less?"

Strengths:
:: Great hair stylist and enjoys doing hair.
:: Extra 'limb' to hold other stuff with that is as strong as his arms.
:: Can disguise himself easily by changing hair style and color.

Weaknesses:
:: Easy indicator of his emotions.
:: Can't cut his hair or his powers weaken.
:: Long hair that can get caught in things easily.
:: Sensitive and gets depressed easily. Emotional.

Personality: - ENFP
Enthusiastic :: Villus is friendly and talkative. He finds that it is hard for him to keep his mouth shut and wants to get along with others. He also is a people person and warm to those he comes in contact with. He enjoys life with other people around and feels the land is full of possibilities. He is energetic and full of energy. Loving to move around and do things than sit on one place. He feels he can motivate and inspire others as well. Helping them through tough times. Sometimes he tries his hardest to talk his way in and out of things as well. He has a problem of dropping things quickly if he becomes excited about something else. Some people can see this as simple minded and think he cannot commit to something till the end. This is far from the truth as if he finds something that really pulls at his emotions he can keep with it till the very end and feel happy to have accomplished it.
Risk Taker :: He strives to make the most out of life when in a good mood. He sometimes gets a bit over confident and does some dangerous stunts. He believes that life should be lived to the fullest, even if the task is dangerous and he tries to follow through. He will be the first to take the step off a ledge or come sailing down the water in a air filled raft. This can also be true in his relationships. Villus likes to try new things and wants to experience it all. He can become some what bored if the same things keep going on and he doesn't find something new to try. Relationships are hard for him to stay in because he becomes bored of the monotonous and doesn't feel the person is as exciting as they use to be.
Sensitive :: He is in tune with his emotions and is an intense individual. He has to feel he is living his life as his true self or it can get him down in the dumps. Sometimes resulting in depression. He does not think things through and instead lets his emotions drive him and make his decisions. He can become discouraged easily at times and doesn't like to hear people talk bad about him. Villus also doesn't like to be left alone for long periods of time. If he stays by himself too long he gets in his own head and can easily become depressed. Villus has a strong need to be liked and will go through extremes to try and accomplish this. Sometimes his need to be liked will add to his need to be a risk taker and can get him in some situations he cannot get himself out of.
Competitive :: Most the time this falls under friendly competition. He enjoys seeing who is better when it comes to it. This is mainly because he is rather good at a broad spectrum of tasks but not great at anything. He likes to test his skills and see how far his abilities have developed. This can also turn into one upping other people and trying to out do them. He feels that if he is better at things then others then everyone will have to like him and will know how awesome he is. However, when he loses, he blames things on the external world around him and doesn't believe that it was his fault he lost. Many might see that as a sore loser and those types of words tend to take make a dent in his self esteem's suit of armor.
Free Spirit :: To others Villus might seem directionless and without purpose, but that is far from the truth. It is hard for him to follow strict rules and regulations. He likes to do his own thing at his own rate. Forcing him to abide by deadlines or anything else usually causes him to be grumpy and lash out at others. He lets the wind under his wings take him where it pleases and enjoys the ride along the way. He enjoys living life and might use the term YOLO once or twice.

Misc
:: Is a Vegetarian
:: Enjoys Comic Books and Video Games
:: Birthday - October 10 - Libra
:: Favorite Color - Blue
:: Favorite Food - Goat Cheese, Caramelized Onion, and Spinach Quesadilla
:: Enjoys collecting oddities

General backstory: Villus is an only child, his parents technically didn't really want him either but happily accepted their new roles. They were never married; however, and just lived together for several years to raise the child. Finally they ended up having enough of one another when he was about five and split up. His parents didn't act normal anyway, they were more like friends trying to raise a baby. Villus was taken by his father since he had better means to raise the child and care for him. In all honesty Villus would have prefered to go with his mother, she seemed to care more for him. He lived with his father in their new house in Tasea and his father became very religious a couple of years after the split. This changed things at home and made Villus seem rather odd and different then how he should be. His father started targeting the boy and yelling and cursing him for not believing in what he should; it was a rather hectic life. Instead, Villus started trying to find ways to spend his time at friends that he met at school. Their parents didn't mind his presence, well technically they really liked him. The young boy was a bit charismatic and a people person, allowing others to want him around. Things continued on like this for a good 8 years. When he stayed with friends, they would always visit little odd shops and Villus would end up picking up oddies along the way. He was gathering a nice collection to go along with his comics and video games. Finally his father was getting tired of it. To him, his son had turned into a rebellious monster that was going against everything he believed. He would stay out late and disobey what he parental figure wanted. This wasn't the case, Villus just couldn't handle being around his dad and all that he kept accusing him of. When Villus was a good four months into being 15, he and his father had a huge argument that led to an actual fist fight. Of course the teenage boy left what else was he to do? He kept his home life and past a secret from everyone and kept a happy attitude, only getting down and sullen when he was left alone to think about and realize all that was happening. He left that night and went into a trinket store, where he found the ship. Trying to forget about what had just happened, he bought the ship and went home.
He bought this ship in a bottle because it caught his attention and seemed like it almost called out to him. There was something so entrancing about the ship that he just had to own it. The odd thing would fit at home with his other small trinkets that he owned. After purchasing the bottle, he took it home and placed it on a shelf with his other things. There was something about the thing that just kept calling out to him and finally it got to him. He tried to pull the cork out of the bottle, but it wasn't giving in easily. He fought with the thing for an added total of four hours over the course of a week. One day, while home alone, he finally was able to rip the cork out out of the bottle, he almost celebrated. Something magical and mysterious happened at that point, and Water came bursting from the bottle; the force of which knocked Villus back onto the floor. He felt like he was drowning in the water and kept swallowing mouthful after mouthful. He was at the brink of feeling like there was no way he would survive these odd ordeal and ended up going unconscious from the lack of air. Just when it seemed like the end, the water seeped into the floor and vanished as quickly as it had appeared. When he came to, the cork was back in the bottle and his clothes were dry. His hair had been bleached to a white color because of the extreme fear he felt from almost dying. Over the next weeks his hair seemed to grow much faster until it finally reached the floor. It wasn't far from this moment that his powers started to show themselves and his father thought the devil had taken over his son. Villus spent the next few weeks being interviewed by preachers and rabbis, anyone who could possibly find out what was wrong with the child. Instead of continuing dealing with that, Villus gathered his important things and ran away, ending up at the port, just wondering around. As he headed down the walkway his eyes caught something that seemed rather....odd. There was a pirate ship, maybe a replica, just sitting in the bay. Something about it seemed familiar and Villus ended up boarding the ship and spending the night in the cabin. When he woke the next day he found that the ship had set sail and was floating at the edge of Sidekick Academy's island.

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Looks department:
Hair: White, Long
Eyes: Light blue, dark circles under them.
Skin: Medium peach color. Not tan but nothing too light either.
Build: Lean and average looking.
Height: 5'8"
Clothing Style: Patterns and the color blue. Vests. Lost of vests or sweaters. He doesn't aim to be flashy but picks out things that catch his eye. Likes moccasins and tribal inspired shoes or jewelry. Vintage things are really pleases and he enjoys the idea of old being made new.
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:04 pm
I'm not real sure where to go from here, so I'll open up crits for help.  

laykein

Man-Hungry Sailor

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hibi-tea

Aged Lunatic

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:38 am
Ok. So I've read over it, and I'm just going to pin-point the most obvious things to come to mind at the moment, and give you a more in-depth Crit when I get home and I'm not easily distracted by fruit tarts and Spanish class, LOL.

Insomnia: I would move Insomnia from the Strengths category to the Weaknesses category. Insomnia, especially the possibly fatal condition, has never been an asset to anyone. Insomnia causes hallucinations, painful headaches, irritability, pain, chronic depression, among other things. None of which would make Villus an asset to anyone and many of which could affect his overall health dramatically.

Personality: If you want Villus to be a friendly person, he cannot have severe or chronic insomnia. If he did, he would not be a happy person. When using some sort of medical condition, you have to take into consideration the side-effects of the condition and how it's going to effect him. He could have mild insomnia. I've had friends with mild insomnia and they're relatively friendly and nice people, albeit with REALLY bad days. But him being anything but mildly insomniatic would mess with his personality as a whole.

I would re-evaluate whether or not you really want this insomnia thing. And to what degree you want him to have it. Insomnia is a very serious medical condition and can wreck people to their core. That's why fatal innsomnia actually exists in the medical books. If you have a bad enough case of it, you die from the inability to function properly anymore.
 
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:42 am
hibi-tea


Thanks hibi.
I don't know why I wasn't thinking clearly when I put that in strengths. Lol.
But yeah, I kind of forgot to take into account how it affects people. I have really good friend with insomnia so I know the results of it and everything.
I had been debating keeping it or not, so with your crit I decided just to toss it. XD
 

laykein

Man-Hungry Sailor

15,700 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Tooth Fairy 100
  • Hunter 50

laykein

Man-Hungry Sailor

15,700 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Tooth Fairy 100
  • Hunter 50
PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:34 am
I updated some of his stuff and plan to draw a picture soon.  
PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:32 pm
Hey Lay! Sorry. I've been eyeing your quest for ages and never got around to actually leaving you some crit.
ABOUT TIME, I know. |:

Anywho. I think this is a pretty interesting concept! And seems like you've got everything pretty worked out.

I think his personality might need some negative traits though. They all seem to be positive ones. Unless the 'sensitive' description of him being alone and brooding was meant to be a negative one. But that doesn't seem to really affect anyone except himself, so leaves question to how things would be if someone did get to see this side of him or if he chose to share it with someone etc.

Another thing I was wondering about was his mom. Did he keep in contact with her after being handed to his dad? Does she visit/send him gifts/still try to talk to him? How does he feel about her during his difficulties in life? Does he ever try to reach out to her?
I just find it difficult to believe that his mom would hand him over and essentially disappear like that if she seemed to have cared more for him. Or, if that is true it seems unfortunate. u__u

Other than that, I don't think there's really much else needing fixing here. *__* b  

Shnazz
Crew

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