[PRP] Hesitation (Maeve x Remo) (Fin)

[Nuxaz]

She spent a few days avoid him, unaware that he too had been avoiding her to give her space. She felt awful, the feeling as hard to describe as the feelings she felt for the sandy male. Maeve was aware that her reaction likely hurt Remo because not only did she reject him, she fled without another word and if he came to her and asked why...well she'd hesitate and find that she would have no answer to give him. No matter how long she pondered over the question, no matter how hard she thought about it she wasn't able to come up with a valid explanation of why she had fled so desperately from him.

Well..except one.

She didn't know how to deal with love.

The lioness was a pretty one and had always been keenly aware of that fact. It was the reason that interactions with males had always been easy for her, flirting came naturally but what didn't were emotions. Or rather the ability to understand her own emotions, she thought herself to be fairly talented when it came to reading others and now, she mused that it was because she so harshly rejected her own.

She had never let herself become the victim of her emotions. Her mother had been a proud lioness and had passed on to her daughter that emotions could make some weak, what she hadn't shared was that those very same emotions could make someone strong. Perhaps that was why she had rejected her friend's confession of love.

Truthfully, the idea of love and a relationship terrified the dark colored female.

She set out, away from her den with no direction so it surprised her when she found herself not too far from Remo's den. She swallowed, heart pounding on her chest. Why had she come here? He probably didn't want to see her, would that still be able to be friends after she so coldly rejected him?

She hesitated in her steps forward, unable to concentrate over the pounding in her ears.

Then she realized, she didn't want to be friends with him. No, she wanted something more.

wooga paes

 

[wooga Paes]

The last few days hadn't really been spent in thought, like Maeve. In fact, Remo was quite determined not to think, though he still did at time anyways. He found he was surprisingly good at thinking about nothing, and had spent a strange amount of time musing over frogs. Like, how the heck did they grow from tadpoles? Did they have friends? Maybe they had little frog clans, and they had battles sometimes. Maybe they had love! Maybe they got rejected too.

And when he got at that point he'd just decide to think about, or do, other things.

Now, though, he was actually hunting a frog. This childish activity was good enough to keep him distracted, though soon he should probably try catching a decent meal. Mteremo hadn't had a decent meal in a while, since he found he was unusually clumsy.

He had been doing his frog-chasing in the area around his den, and honestly hadn't expected the lioness to ever come here. So, inevitably, he found her by literally crashing through the underbrush after a frog (not the ideal way to hunt them!), and end up sprawling in the mud, a only a few feet before her.

He scowled. Dumb frog got awa-- "Maeve!" He blinked, surprised. Then he remembered how awkward things must be together and scrambled to hit feet, ending up in a sitting position and sliding backwards away from her.

"Uh. Hi!"  

[Nuxaz]

When she saw him, her entire body tensed up and stood ridged. She opened her maw to speak, but hesitated. Even standing before him she didn't know how to respond or what she had intended or hoped for when she embarked on the small journey from her den to his.

"Hi."

It was a weak greeting and she quickly averted her eyes. It wasn't like her to be acting shy, but it wasn't like her to let her feelings take over her common sense. Everything she knew and had done in the past was the complete opposite of what she was doing now. Males came to her, not the other way around.

"I think..." she hesitated again, head snapping up to look at him. She swallowed and tried again. "I think that we need to talk."  

[wooga Paes]

Her discomfort was far from reassuring, and it was contagious. He looked away, not wanting to crowd her, instead focusing on a leaf in the mud. Mteremo began to wish she hadn't come, because at this point things simply looked bleak between them, something that was clearly his fault. Maybe he should apologize to her.

When she first attempted to speak, he looked up briefly, then back down. The second time he didn't raise his head, but did look at her paws instead of the leaf. "Yeah." He said, and wondered if this was going to end out good, bad or awful. Mteremo wondered, briefly, if he felt bitter. Being who he was, however, and her being Maeve, it seemed impossible. "I guess we do."  

[Nuxaz]

Okay, they were talking and that was good. Okay, so they weren't having a conversation and only like...two sentences were exchanged between them and things were still really, really awkward and uncomfortable but at least it was a start! So she just needed to decide where to go with this conversation, should she apologize?

Ugh, this was so complicated and feeling were very confusing.

"If I hurt you," she began knowing that she probably hurt him very much, "I'm sorry. It's just that..." she trailed off because she didn't really know where she was going or what she wanted to say. "This isn't easy for me." It wasn't. Talking, flirting, being social that was easy. Dealing with emotional attachment weren't. "I'm confident and social but I don't handle emotions well. Like real emotions. Especially if they're mine."

This was a good start right?  

[wooga Paes]

The apology was a little surprising, and strange. He had done a very good job of convincing himself this was all his fault, and that he had overstepped some boundary. So Mteremo felt like it would be fair for him to accept an apology, because she need not apologize.

...a small part of him, however, was comforted.

"You don't need to apologize. It's alright, I understand." He said, somehow managing to keep any nervousness out of his voice. "You shouldn't feel bad for not feeling the same way." Mteremo shrugged. No one had to love anyone, and that was alright. He could deal with that. He was a bit curious about the bit of handling emotions, and what she meant about handling her own emotions. At the risk of sounding self centered, wasn't the issue here handling his affections? He raised his eyes to look at her, briefly, then became shy again and looked away.  

[Nuxaz]

"It's not that!" She exclaimed quickly after he spoke. No, it wasn't that. Not at all. "It's not that I--" Uh-oh there was that hesitation of hers again. Guh, why was this so difficult for her? She wasn't used to being tongue tied, it sucked. "Well it's more like..." she sighed starting to lose her nerve. She looked down at the ground again, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

It's okay, you can do this.

"I've always been taught that love made a person weak," she started. That was a good start right? Well probably not something he wanted to hear but it was the start to perhaps a long-winded confession. "Love makes someone weak because it's an emotion and emotions are hard to control. My mother was proud, like myself, and she claimed that she had never fallen in love and never would," a pause, "She never showed me how to actually deal or handle my emotions, so I learned to reject and ignore them. If it wasn't something I wanted someone to see then it had no purpose."

She didn't know if she was making any sense.

"So I don't know how to deal with my emotions and..." another sigh. "The idea of being in love or being in a relationship. A real relationship scares me. It terrifies me because I don't know if I can handle it. So I'm not saying that I love you back because...I don't know if I do but what I do know is that I feel something for you that I've never felt before." She rambled in one breath. "I don't want to be friends." There was a pregnant pause as she sucked in a breath. "I think I want to be more."  

[wooga Paes]

The strength of her reply got his attention, and his eyes snapped back up to meet her own. This time he didn't look away, bt his brows furrowed, and he gave her the most curious expression. What was she talking about?

Mteremo supposed it actually wasn't very polite of him, but he didn't really pay as much attention as he should have to what she said after that. Something about not being able to handle emotions, her mother being proud... it didn't really matter, now, did it? But what was making the edge of his lip curl up into a rather crooked, barely-even-a-smile smile, was because it all boiled down to the fact that she didn't exactly not feel the same way.

Yes, she said she was scared of a relationship. And she didn't really know if she loved him. But most importantly, Maeve said she didn't want to be friends. She said she wanted more. And in many ways, this was a victory.

Of course, smirking at her was hardly decent, and he understood that being excited wasn't the proper way to respond to what she had just told him. So when he spoke, he was careful. "I... do too, Maeve. And I think we could try things out. I know," or at least now he knew for certain, "that it scares you. And I respect that. I'm glad you told me this. I guess what I can say is we could take it slow, and you can have plenty of time to decide what you want, or learn how to handle this all. I never meant to put you in an uncomfortable spot, and I never wish to do it again."  

[Nuxaz]

She hadn't looked at him as she rambled on trying to get out everything she wanted in one breath. She had been worried that if she didn't get it out quickly she would hesitate and lose any nerve that she had gathered. It took him starting to talk before she looked up at him. Her green eyes met his red-orange and she stood quietly letting him talk.

She wasn't going to run off this time, she had no reason to.

"Okay," she said because that's all she could say. Or rather there wasn't much to say. He said they could try and take it slow and she was okay with that. It was more than she could really ask for and she was thankful that the lion was understanding. He was the lion that knew her best, he probably could see how a relationship, and feeling something deeper than casual flirting, would be hard for her. Or he could now that it was all out in the open.

"Okay," she said again, a small smile starting to form. "I'd like to try." Because really, that's all she could do right now.  

[wooga Paes]

This felt pretty good. He knew what she said didn't exactly mean a romantic relationship would be easy, but Mteremo felt... great now. Because at least he knew things were happening, and they were happening with someone he loved. "Okay," He echoed, with a smile.

The problem now was, having decided they would give this a try, they actually had to start. And it's not like he could just go over there and be all snuggly and touchy. "So..."

He tried to think of anything they could do. "How about that hunt?" Mteremo offered, if only to diffuse the awkward, if not entirely uncomfortable situation.  

[Nuxaz]

She laughed, because of course he would ask a silly question like that after all the tension that had been between them. She stepped forward once, a small bit of hesitation in her movement. She said nothing, just sucked in a breath before stepping forward again, more confidence in her step. She didn't need to hesitate any longer, because he understood her and what she needed.

So she took the initiative to treat things as a little more intimate.

She closed the distance between them to press her nose into his neck. She stayed there for a moment before stepping back. "It went just fine."  

[wooga Paes]

He was glad she did that, because since she had taken the initiative he could feel even more like this was something she also wanted. Mteremo still tensed up initially at the touch, due to how unexpected it had been, but quickly turned accepting, tilting his head slightly so he could touch her, before she stepped back.

"That's good." he smiled, tail curling behind him. He felt like they needed to do things, or maybe just relax. He glanced down, and briefly realized he was still rather muddy, from his adventure in frog hunting. "I guess I best find deeper waters and wash up." Mteremo said, offering Maeve a lame grin. "Would you like to come with me?"  

[Nuxaz]

"You are pretty dirty," she teased looking down at his paws again to see all the mud covering his legs and the rest of him. She turned away from him to take a few steps. Then she glanced back at him. "Sure," she paused a mischievous glint in her eyes. Flicking her tail behind her she moved forward another step. "I'll race you," she challenged.  

[wooga Paes]

"I am." He agreed cheerfully enough. He was filthy, really. But it was a normal enough occurrence when one lived in a swamp. That didn't mean Mteremo didn't like cleaning up, however.

So it was a challenge! Alright then. "Okay, a race. Onetwothreego!" He was a dirty lion, why should he play clean? With that, he raced past Maeve and away, in search of a place to clean up.