How do I calm "the beast"?

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

I got a kitten a while ago, she's the first kitten our family's had and I was so happy because I've wanted one since I was 3. She can be a good girl at times, but the problem is she's so hyper when she's wide awake and despite our constant firmness and training, she still keeps doing bad stuff like climbing the plants, jumping on the table and trying to bite people really hard sad We can't take her to any sort of training class (as if there are any) and she's not old enough to go outside yet, but we've tried everything to make her behave and I'm scared that one day my parents will get made and want to get rid of her! crying

We CAN'T get rid of her, that will NEVER be an option for me! Maia is too precious to me no matter how bad she gets!

Is there ANYTHING I can do to calm her down? Even if it's just a little spell or changing her treats? I'm seriously desperate!  

[xMoonlitShadowsx]

I'm not sure, never having raised a kitten, but I think they're suppposed to be mischief making furry balls of organized chaos at that age. My dog was kinda like that when she was a puppy, very energetic and cute. Have you tried playing with her a bit more than you already do? She could just have a lot of pent up energy. Maybe if you tire her out, she'll mellow out a bit in time. She'll realize that there are times to play and times to sleep.

There are probably toys you can get her that would keep her occupied while no one is around, like a toy battery operated hamster in a ball. I have one, used to be my grandmother's cat's toy. lol

Maybe changing the brand of cat food you are feeding her might help too.

Hope this helps a little bit smile  

[Atrum_Anima]

Laser pointers. They are your friend. :)  

[X-Yami-no-Ko-X]

Depending on the breed, kittens will have a crap ton of energy. There are a very few breed that aren't hyper. Plus its kinda hard to train cats since that have that "I'm not going to listen" sort of attitude. One cat we had whenever he would start biting people we would just leave him alone. Eventually he started getting the point that he shouldn't bite and only went back to biting when people would touch his belly. We had another one years later that would try to climb our christmas tree. We would just pull him down and set him outside the room. Or even lock him in my room for a while.

When kittens get older they'll slow down some. Right now I would get cat toys and even the laser pointer as Atrum pointed out. I wouldn't really do what my dad did when he would play with our first cats. He treated him like a dog and would semi-horse play with him and that's where he learned to bite. When we got our second cat the next year we started getting those Chenille Steams(Craft Pipe Cleaners) and we made toys out of them that we would throw and our two cats would play fetch with them. I'd stay away from cat n** until your kitten slows down. We used to make our own catnip toys out of socks that lost their mate.

Though why would you jump straight to magical means to try to fix the problem? I would never think to use magic since the only way I could see using it would to mess with someone's free will. Plus its premature to even consider that at this point since you did say she is still very young.  

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

Lol my laser pointer went missing xd and unfortunately she did learn to bite, but we try to discourage it now. If we stay calm with her, she sometimes likes to just go to sleep or come sit on us for cuddles whee which is cute.

The only reason I'd been considering magical means to fix it is because I was so worried about her behaviour. If there are spells out there to help people stay calm and stuff, why not one to possibly help calm a crazy cat? (She's both tabby/tortoise-shell on her mum's side and the breeder didn't know the dad) But of course I would only try something if it appeared feasable and harmless, wouldn't dare do anything to harm her (or even controll her). Was just wondering if there was anything that could help question  

[anime_wiccan_chick]

Everyone's been saying toys, and I have to agree. Also, since she likes climbing, what if you got her one of those fuzzy platform thingies they have for cats? If you just pull her down safely whenever she climbs something else, but not the aforementioned thingy, she might understand to only climb that, and it will be something to play with while you're gone. Also, balls of yarn. Those things distract me, and I'm sure they distract cats too :]  

[Shinigami-Rem_Death-Note]

That's quite a good idea (and nice avi btw, is that Grell?)

Now that she's allowed outside she's a LOT better behaved, but when she does want to climb something it's usually the exercise machine where she can reach all the way to the ceiling. We let her do that and punish her if she climbs anything else she shouldn't, but she LOVES going in the trees outside bless her XD