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 Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 8:01 pm
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So I had what, I feel, was an experience with a divine entity. I have some questions on how to discern if what happened was real or not, but let me actually explain what happened first, since...you know....that'll be the first thing people need to know about it anyway.
Just to get it out of the way, since it frames the experience overall.
So I'm medicated for Bi-Polar, ADHD, and Panic Attacks. Due to loss of job, I had a temporary lapse of medical coverage (solved in part by both COBRA and my Mother) In any event, I'm not on some of my meds right now cause I can't afford them. For the pharmacy inclined, I'm on Depakote (generic), Adderal (generic), Abilify (name-brand), and Paxil (generic) normally....right now I'm just using the Depakote (I had some extra) and occasionally the Adderal as needed.
I mention my meds only so it can be noted that while all of my meds are mood stabilizer types, none of them are going to make me see things or hallucinate...either from the presence or sudden lack there of.
Anyhoo, so I'm a little emotionally unstable, and easily made upset. Little things are getting to me in big ways, and I'm feeling really anxious. I'm searching for solutions, when I think of turning to prayer.
Now I've prayed almost exclusively to Odin up until this point. I haven't really had an opportunity to reach out to anyone else (except one of Frigga's handmaidens, Eir, on two occasions), and have felt a little intimidated in trying.
Anyhow, I haven't felt...a good connection with Odin. I don't know exactly why. Anyhow, I felt like I should try to go in a different direction. So, on a whim I tried to focus on Thor. It seemed like a sensible thing.
So I closed my eyes and sorta tried to...reach out? Don't know how to describe it exactly. Anyhow, after doing so I had a....I don't know...vision is too strong of a word. I'd call it a mental image I guess. It was a mental image of a man, of strong build. He had long hair, of a golden/auburn sort of dirty blonde. The most distinguishing feature was his eyes. They were piercing, intense, compassionate, and wise all at one. He was holding out a hammer to me, handle up, offering me to grab upon the handle. I did and suddently I was very very clam.
I have a very hard time achieving any sort of meditative state, and an equally hard time calming myself down during any sort of high emotional state.
Any thoughts about it?
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Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:07 pm
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:13 am
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:33 am
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Kuroiban Sophist What do you mean by real? What determines a real experience from a fake experience? I guess I'm looking for some help trying to confirm that this was an experience of some kind, rather then something my panic'd brain did to calm me down
What about the experience makes you think it couldn't be both? I don't know if it's the same for other religions, but in the Egyptian tradition it's very typical that deities give humans thoughts or feelings to make them aware of their presence. I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for, but I wouldn't exactly try to subject a spiritual experience to an empirical test, if it were me. Besides, I have yet to see how scientific experiment can verify the why of a spiritual experience. It can document what's going on in your brain and how it's affecting you. It can't tell you whether a deity made it happen to you. And I don't think the fact that you're afflicted with illness automatically makes your spiritual radar broken.
My advice is that it could've been him, it could not have been him, and if it's not typical to how he's viewed, perhaps he showed himself to you in a way that you would understand in order to encourage you to learn more about him. Regardless, I would continue to learn about him and try to interact with him more to see exactly who I'm interacting with. If you do get more responses and he seems different from the first time every time after that, I would question if it were him in the first occurrence. If you continue to try and interact with him and get no response, perhaps it was someone else and the real Thor is not interested, or you might be approaching him in the wrong way. If you start out disbelieving something happened, then you've already cut off that area of exploration.
As for personal experience I found that my goddess helped me in the time I needed it most. For me I think it would be disrespectful not to thank her. |
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Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:10 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 7:13 pm
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