Great Introduction Posts

[Cheshiyre]

Ever feel the pressure from wanting a really great intro, but you aren't sure how to proceed? Want to help others with tips, advice, and VERY polite criticism? Do so here!  

[APinoySuperHero]

Yup. I need a good intro because I am fifty fifty when it comes to this because sometimes the posters totally ignore me. It becomes very annoying.  

[Cheshiyre]

That does get annoying very quickly, doesn't it?

Could you post a sample here so we could examine it? If possible, a previous post would be awesome.
Something we could break down and get started with!

 

[Mr. Eccentricity]

.:: Like a butterfly through a paper shredder...

I think an important thing with intros that players often miss is the idea that, by the end of the post, you should be in a situation where you're either interacting with someone or set up to be available for interaction. After all, the point of roleplaying is to interact with others' characters. =3

I've seen great intro posts that end up with the character nowhere near the group or practically unavailable, as another player would have to make the roleplay a bit disjointed or uncomfortable for their characters to interact.

As for cookie-cutter intros, I think they're mostly okay to use, so long as one makes sure to add a bit at the end to make it different and comb it over so all the details (like ones that relate to setting, etc.) are solid.

...so fricken' awesome. ::.

 

[Angstbucket Edgelord]

Minai chan

Ever feel the pressure from wanting a really great intro, but you aren't sure how to proceed? Want to help others with tips, advice, and VERY polite criticism? Do so here!

Can someone please critique this? It's pretty recent, and I was a bit iffy about the style. And yeah, it took her a while to get the rest of the group owo

Mr. Eccentricity

Light was hot and loud. Darkness cold and silent.
It was nighttime now, though Akane could only tell through the hushed sounds and chatter that had ceased. But the night wasn't completely silent, it was laced with a quiet hum, small vibrations and currents on the breeze that translated the world into a picture for her.
Vars wasn't around to tell her, teach her the "colours" that the people saw. So Akane sat quietly, taking it in through her senses. Rough wood, cool under frosty starlight and a sliver of moon. Tense and brimming as a pail of water, a drawn knife on bare flesh.
Then cold spun away, and a warm presence grew. It was familiar, and Akane kept her hands motionless on the closed tessan on her lap. Vars, with his distinctive aura of almost...nothingness, had returned. Fondly, she remembered their first encounter. It had surprised her, his ghostlike presence. Much like the souls of the dead that drifted unceasingly on into the dark infinity, there was nothing. Devoid of sound and feeling. Almost like herself, trapped in this dark world that was her mind. So much like herself, in fact, that'd she'd been willing to share her blood, and with that, her gift.
And then the boy's aura flickered - fear replacing the calm that Akane had liked so much, before the metal cut across their clasped hands and the warm liquid mingled.
They were bound, in their contract of blood and their intertwined destinies, each unable to let go of the other in their quest for what they were both missing - a Heart.

 

[Mr. Eccentricity]

PoppiHollaPuddelz

.:: Like a butterfly through a paper shredder...

First view: I really really like how you don't just say "She's blind but uses her other senses to 'see.'" That's easy and obvious. No, you actually SHOW her seeing with her other senses. Showing over Telling, already a good start.

That being said, there's not much happening here. There's some exposition, some important information being exchanged, but it's not done any special way. Instead, keep adding to it. Add more action, but not just pointless action. Like you did with her blindness, tell us about her with her own actions. And yes, place her either interacting, about to interact, or actively seeking interaction. Conflict helps, since that's how we truly show our characters and the might of them. I don't know the roleplay, but maybe you could write about her encountering a wild creature/foe/pickpocket, etc. and show her strengths. However, the end of the post, maybe the rest of the wolf pack shows up, or maybe the pickpocket finds some of his buddies to finish her off. Then another character can jump in and help her/fight/alert authorities, something that starts interactions, dialogue, and action, as well as Player 2 being able to show off his/her strengths AND (one of the most important things) showing that your characters has weaknesses (which you're actually good about doing, already admitting vulnerability in your character).

Hope that helped. ^-^

...so fricken' awesome. ::.