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 Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:06 pm
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What do I do? What can I do? I was talking with this guy in towns, and he said that he wanted to end his life because all his life has been a living hell, his dad would come home drunk and beat him, and that whenever he would turn to God, he wasent there. He kept saying that God was non-exsistant. His heart was so hard toward God, toward everything.....he said that God was a monster because God made him a monster..... then dissapeared. It really put a burden on my heart to hear (read) all this, I really wish I could have done something......but all I can do now is pray for him. I kept asking God to give me the words to speak to him.....to speak to his heart.....maybe they made a difference, I don't know, it seems like they didn't but.....my God is all powerful, and can do anything.....
How exactly do you talk to people like that anyway? How do get them to listen to your words? How can you tell them that God will always be there for them when all their life it seems like God has been so far away, like he's not listening? How can I reach out to them??? I really wish I could have done something...said the right thing, anything.......
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Posted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 11:48 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:34 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:03 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:06 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 11:00 pm
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etchedspirit What do I do? What can I do? I was talking with this guy in towns, and he said that he wanted to end his life because all his life has been a living hell, his dad would come home drunk and beat him, and that whenever he would turn to God, he wasent there. He kept saying that God was non-exsistant.
That is a hard life, no question about it. Perhaps the reason he's saying god isn't there is because he's expecting nothing short of a miracle - a chariot of fire to swoop down, pick him up, and take him away from that right then and there. To be honest, if I was in his position, I'd want nothing less - enduring it day in and day out, waiting for any chance for it to end at all, would make me give up hope too.
etchedspirit His heart was so hard toward God, toward everything.....he said that God was a monster because God made him a monster..... then dissapeared. It really put a burden on my heart to hear (read) all this, I really wish I could have done something......but all I can do now is pray for him. I kept asking God to give me the words to speak to him.....to speak to his heart.....maybe they made a difference, I don't know, it seems like they didn't but.....my God is all powerful, and can do anything.....
A lot of people have resentment towards whatever they can blame for the situations they're in, especially when it isn't their fault. It's human nature, and why religion is so popular in the world today. It gives people a scapegoat to blame rather than themselves when the situation is their fault, and it gives them a face so to speak to blame when the situation is legitimately beyond their control. If I'm in a crummy situation, and I know it isn't my fault but I don't know who to blame, I can blame that supernatural entity instead, since he has the power to control everything, it must be his or her fault. Human nature is to blame.
etchedspirit How exactly do you talk to people like that anyway?
All you can do is tell them to not give up hope, offer suggestions on how they can look for opportunities that arise, or how to make their own.
etchedspirit How do get them to listen to your words?
You can't. They have to be willing, and want to listen. If they aren't, the battle is over, plain and simple.
etchedspirit How can you tell them that God will always be there for them when all their life it seems like God has been so far away, like he's not listening? How can I reach out to them???
Part of that comes with the above answer. They have to be willing to listen. Only then can you attempt to restore their hope and possibly their faith, and only if they want to.
etchedspirit I really wish I could have done something...said the right thing, anything.......
I admire that in you a lot - your sincere desire to help is a wonderful trait, and one that I share. The truth is, though, you can't force help on somebody who doesn't want it. Some situations are beyond our control, and all we can do is be there for the person if they need anything, but step back and let them work their way through it. Mention to him that there's people he can call, maybe look up an 800 number for him to call to report this, but if he isn't willing, that's his choice. Some kids would rather put up with the abuse than the alternative, which may include living in a foster home, moving every 6 to 18 months, saying goodbye to any sense of stability in their life, etc. If my situation was the same as his, and I couldn't live with my other parent, I'd likely want to kill myself, too, as the 2 choices I have are to 1) live with the abuse, or 2) become an orphan living in a foster care system, with little hope of living up to my full potential - something that will hang over my head for the rest of my life. Given those 2 choices, death just may sound better than either of those. |
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Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 11:13 pm
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PhaseBurn etchedspirit What do I do? What can I do? I was talking with this guy in towns, and he said that he wanted to end his life because all his life has been a living hell, his dad would come home drunk and beat him, and that whenever he would turn to God, he wasent there. He kept saying that God was non-exsistant. That is a hard life, no question about it. Perhaps the reason he's saying god isn't there is because he's expecting nothing short of a miracle - a chariot of fire to swoop down, pick him up, and take him away from that right then and there. To be honest, if I was in his position, I'd want nothing less - enduring it day in and day out, waiting for any chance for it to end at all, would make me give up hope too. etchedspirit His heart was so hard toward God, toward everything.....he said that God was a monster because God made him a monster..... then dissapeared. It really put a burden on my heart to hear (read) all this, I really wish I could have done something......but all I can do now is pray for him. I kept asking God to give me the words to speak to him.....to speak to his heart.....maybe they made a difference, I don't know, it seems like they didn't but.....my God is all powerful, and can do anything..... A lot of people have resentment towards whatever they can blame for the situations they're in, especially when it isn't their fault. It's human nature, and why religion is so popular in the world today. It gives people a scapegoat to blame rather than themselves when the situation is their fault, and it gives them a face so to speak to blame when the situation is legitimately beyond their control. If I'm in a crummy situation, and I know it isn't my fault but I don't know who to blame, I can blame that supernatural entity instead, since he has the power to control everything, it must be his or her fault. Human nature is to blame. etchedspirit How exactly do you talk to people like that anyway? All you can do is tell them to not give up hope, offer suggestions on how they can look for opportunities that arise, or how to make their own. etchedspirit How do get them to listen to your words? You can't. They have to be willing, and want to listen. If they aren't, the battle is over, plain and simple. etchedspirit How can you tell them that God will always be there for them when all their life it seems like God has been so far away, like he's not listening? How can I reach out to them??? Part of that comes with the above answer. They have to be willing to listen. Only then can you attempt to restore their hope and possibly their faith, and only if they want to. etchedspirit I really wish I could have done something...said the right thing, anything....... I admire that in you a lot - your sincere desire to help is a wonderful trait, and one that I share. The truth is, though, you can't force help on somebody who doesn't want it. Some situations are beyond our control, and all we can do is be there for the person if they need anything, but step back and let them work their way through it. Mention to him that there's people he can call, maybe look up an 800 number for him to call to report this, but if he isn't willing, that's his choice. Some kids would rather put up with the abuse than the alternative, which may include living in a foster home, moving every 6 to 18 months, saying goodbye to any sense of stability in their life, etc. If my situation was the same as his, and I couldn't live with my other parent, I'd likely want to kill myself, too, as the 2 choices I have are to 1) live with the abuse, or 2) become an orphan living in a foster care system, with little hope of living up to my full potential - something that will hang over my head for the rest of my life. Given those 2 choices, death just may sound better than either of those.
I totally agree with you in your first point...some people seem to think too much of God and that really not the case at all. The person might no realise who or what God is and really needs to find him. But we all shouldn't expect a lot from anyone let alone God and God Works in mysterious ways. And also th best resolution is to pray for that person, that they might find God grace. I'll be praying for him tonight. |
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 12:18 am
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etchedspirit IcarusDream etchedspirit God does not help those who help themselves, this is a lie that many people tend to believe.... It is also the wisdom of Benjamin Franklin. kay...Benjamin Franklin.....woo.... I just think that the statement "God helps those who help themselves" is so selfish....
Sounds kind of smart to me.
"God, have mercy on me, help me find a job," says a person, but then they go and do not look for one.
"God, have mercy on me, grant that my interviews are successful" says another, and they find what they are looking for.
It seems much more likely and wise to think that God would help you a bit if you were the least bit willing to do something that you yourself can do.
It isn't selfish, it's a criticism of idleness. |
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:27 am
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etchedspirit What do I do? What can I do? I was talking with this guy in towns, and he said that he wanted to end his life because all his life has been a living hell, his dad would come home drunk and beat him, and that whenever he would turn to God, he wasent there. He kept saying that God was non-exsistant. His heart was so hard toward God, toward everything.....he said that God was a monster because God made him a monster..... then dissapeared. It really put a burden on my heart to hear (read) all this, I really wish I could have done something......but all I can do now is pray for him. I kept asking God to give me the words to speak to him.....to speak to his heart.....maybe they made a difference, I don't know, it seems like they didn't but.....my God is all powerful, and can do anything..... How exactly do you talk to people like that anyway? How do get them to listen to your words? How can you tell them that God will always be there for them when all their life it seems like God has been so far away, like he's not listening? How can I reach out to them??? I really wish I could have done something...said the right thing, anything.......
The first lesson you must learn is how to talk to people and not at them
When you see someone this far gone the last thing they want to hear is anything about God. Give them something tangible something simple to show the person that not everything in life is bad.
Note: Someone that is really thinking about ending their life will start breaking their ties to everyone and everything (give all their possessions away randomly try to make peace over something that happened a long time ago or something perhaps quite silly)
Another note of caution, be careful that if you are going to be the one to pull someone away from the edge you will most likely become their pillar (perhaps their only pillar)
Think about what would happen if the only pillar holding up a structure breaks or poofs
Not Good Times yo
So how do we fix this? Add more freaken pillars
When the structure is good and stable...maybe then it might be a good time to reintroduce faith or whatever
So long as a person is more physically attached to their world then the pain of being attached they should be more so inclined to not end their life
So stay away from negatives (Fire and damnation don't help)
So lets see if you understand
Quick fix to buy you time = ???
Long term fix = ??? |
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:51 am
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It's not like I was forcing anything on him though. That I avoided, big time. I didn't feel like I was pushing him to believe anything. It was more like "God loves you and he will always be there for you, he always has been, he hasn't abandoned you thought the situation might seem like it" type of stuff....I started off with "I know I cant really do anything to help, but what I can do it pray for you."..... Then again, was that wrong... maybe??? I don't really know exactly how to deal with suicidal people, I don't really come across those type of poeple very often, and when I do, all I want to do is try to give them some hope, because then, if they have even the slightest shread of hope--then there is hope that they wont kill themselves. What more can I do to help?....it's only over Gaia anyway...... sad
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:50 pm
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etchedspirit It's not like I was forcing anything on him though. That I avoided, big time. I didn't feel like I was pushing him to believe anything. It was more like "God loves you and he will always be there for you, he always has been, he hasn't abandoned you thought the situation might seem like it" type of stuff....I started off with "I know I cant really do anything to help, but what I can do it pray for you."..... Then again, was that wrong... maybe??? I don't really know exactly how to deal with suicidal people, I don't really come across those type of poeple very often, and when I do, all I want to do is try to give them some hope, because then, if they have even the slightest shread of hope--then there is hope that they wont kill themselves. What more can I do to help?....it's only over Gaia anyway...... sad
Well in this case he seemed to be angry/disappointed with/in God so words related to the subject will likely seem empty
The trick is to physically tie such a person to our world |
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