I want to know if I did the right thing

[oORiver GoddessOo]

Okay About two years ago i met the love of my life he is everything and I love him so much he too is a Christain, twitch is a major bonus for me, and and as long as we have gone out we have had some hard times, since we live so far apart, about 3000 miles to be exact anyways, the bad things he has done wsa the he cheated on me twice once online and once in real life, Well I forgave him both times because I see a man that i know he can be, and so just about two weeks ago i was visting my grandparents and i had no computer around me, all that time i found out he was again messing around with another girl, yeah i know it was online and it shoudlnt hit me, but me and him met online and loo so you never know, well it hurt me so much and i cried so hard So what I did was what i thought was a good idea, I change the password on his account and am not alowing him to get on gaia for a very long time, of course i called him up and told him about it, he said he understood, and i promsied I wouldnt take anything from him and i havent. I thought if i took away one way of cheating on me he wouldnt do it anymore, please tell me Did i do the right thing??  

[Mjolnir The Hammer]

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

 

[oORiver GoddessOo]

maplestoryjunky

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

Yes we have met before last year and he was at my home for about a week and in 4 days i am going to his place to met his family and spend time with him for three weeks and yes it is hard, but i will do whatever i can to make it work  

[Mjolnir The Hammer]

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

Yes we have met before last year and he was at my home for about a week and in 4 days i am going to his place to met his family and spend time with him for three weeks and yes it is hard, but i will do whatever i can to make it work

Awwww....I'm happy for you guys. Hopefully, this will give you a great opportunity to talk to each other on this matter. Resolve it as best you can you don't have to come back to it. I pray for the best between you two and God bless you both. Have fun with him too. xd  

[oORiver GoddessOo]

maplestoryjunky

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

Yes we have met before last year and he was at my home for about a week and in 4 days i am going to his place to met his family and spend time with him for three weeks and yes it is hard, but i will do whatever i can to make it work

Awwww....I'm happy for you guys. Hopefully, this will give you a great opportunity to talk to each other on this matter. Resolve it as best you can you don't have to come back to it. I pray for the best between you two and God bless you both. Have fun with him too. xd

Thank you for the talk and listening to me and i know i will, I know he loves me, and as long as i have faith in my heart and the lord, everything will turn out great.  

[Mjolnir The Hammer]

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

Yes we have met before last year and he was at my home for about a week and in 4 days i am going to his place to met his family and spend time with him for three weeks and yes it is hard, but i will do whatever i can to make it work

Awwww....I'm happy for you guys. Hopefully, this will give you a great opportunity to talk to each other on this matter. Resolve it as best you can you don't have to come back to it. I pray for the best between you two and God bless you both. Have fun with him too. xd

Thank you for the talk and listening to me and i know i will, I know he loves me, and as long as i have faith in my heart and the lord, everything will turn out great.

Amen to you, fair lady. Good luck. heart  

[oORiver GoddessOo]

maplestoryjunky

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

maplestoryjunky

I'm gonna be honest. I'm a little torn in two on this one. xp

I think it was the right thing to do if you took privelages of his gaia account to remove the temptation. Whats better is he understands that. Whether that understanding will stay there is to be contested. He may feel deprived after a while and try it again. question question question question *not sure* sweatdrop

What you should look for, with extreme vigor, is whether or not he's trying to 'check out' other girls. Love him faithfully, and I see you have done that so far. Very well, infact. You've forgiven him twice already. That shows commitment. The difficult thing is that internet relationships can be very rough. The distance between you two may still pose a temptation. Have you guys ever met before?

Yes we have met before last year and he was at my home for about a week and in 4 days i am going to his place to met his family and spend time with him for three weeks and yes it is hard, but i will do whatever i can to make it work

Awwww....I'm happy for you guys. Hopefully, this will give you a great opportunity to talk to each other on this matter. Resolve it as best you can you don't have to come back to it. I pray for the best between you two and God bless you both. Have fun with him too. xd

Thank you for the talk and listening to me and i know i will, I know he loves me, and as long as i have faith in my heart and the lord, everything will turn out great.

Amen to you, fair lady. Good luck. heart

Thank you and god bless  

[iremembertherain]

I don't think I would have taken him back after he cheated on me. I don't think it's a good idea, since he's done it so many times. A lot of times in relationships we see what people could be, not what they are. I'm not you though, so it's really your decision. If you want to stay with him, all the power to you. But remember that you have a choice in the matter. There are other guys, other loves. I hope it works out, though.  

[Seraph68]

I am trying to get a good picture of what is going on, so could you clarify a few things.

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

he cheated on me twice once online and once in real life

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

“he was again messing around with another girl”

What do you mean by “cheating” and “messing around?” I have known people who would call it cheating if a guy was just flirting with a girl, and there is the other extreme where there is actual physical infidelity (he slept with her).

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

I change the password on his account and am not alowing him to get on gaia for a very long time

I’m going to be blunt, you seem to be very controlling. You took away his stuff (Gaia login) because he hurt you. Did you discuss this with him before you took his login or did you do it on your own and informed him of his punishment later?

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

I thought if i took away one way of cheating on me he wouldnt do it anymore,

I’m sorry, but I don’t think that will help. If anything, it could make things worse. Like I said, you seem to be controlling and he seems to be looking. When you put him under control, by taking away his Gaia login, it tells him that you do not trust him. Granted, he does have that history, but maybe he felt that he wasn’t actually cheating, just harmlessly flirting with some random girl. What if it gets worse (for him), and just by talking to another girl without your permission gets him in trouble?

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

I see a man that i know he can be

Please be careful with that mindset. I don’t doubt he has a lot of potential, but that does not excuse his behavior. He may have the potential to be a good man, but maybe this isn’t the time for you to commit to him. There is a couple I know where there was a lot of potential, but she was not mature enough at the time to take it seriously. They never really kicked things off because she wasn’t interested. But several years later, after she had made mistakes, learned from them, and matured, she met the guy again and realized what she had missed out on. Luckily for her, it wasn’t too long until he was single again and they started dating and eventually got married. I am not saying let him go, just that he isn’t the man that you expect him to be yet.  

[sunshinehearttrob]

first two different points :

for starters i dont think its right that you took his gaia privileges away. i totally disagree with that. its just like a parent putting out some punishment. not something that is done in a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship. plus, he could just make a new account.

next, if he did it once, he could do it again. i suggest you talk to him and really tell him how you feel. maybe then he'll understand. and if not, just forget about it.  

[lordstar]

iremembertherain

I don't think I would have taken him back after he cheated on me. I don't think it's a good idea, since he's done it so many times. A lot of times in relationships we see what people could be, not what they are. I'm not you though, so it's really your decision. If you want to stay with him, all the power to you. But remember that you have a choice in the matter. There are other guys, other loves. I hope it works out, though.

twice is not many times...silly girl

realize that men are not a commodity and that rejecting someone because of "cheating" (its BS anyway) is selfish

men have needs just a women do
a need for human interation, love, and attention

the main reason why relationships don't work out is that partners fail to listen to eachother (or not talk and share their lives)

and religion and tradition aren't helping at all by putting taboos on topics and interations (im mainly talking about things like...for example I wan't allowed to hold the hand of my first gf when her stepfather was around because his dinomination didn't allow such things untill after the "I do's")


think about what happens to a starved lion next time he sees something semi-editable...
its very simple
don't stuff people in boxes and then freakout when they bite your hand  

[oORiver GoddessOo]

I can't give up on him and i won't i believe that there is a good man in there and he know about it and he told me it was okay, and im not acting like a parent, im acting like a girlfriend who has been hurt  

[lordstar]

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

Okay About two years ago i met the love of my life he is everything and I love him so much he too is a Christain, twitch is a major bonus for me, and and as long as we have gone out we have had some hard times, since we live so far apart, about 3000 miles to be exact anyways, the bad things he has done wsa the he cheated on me twice once online and once in real life, Well I forgave him both times because I see a man that i know he can be, and so just about two weeks ago i was visting my grandparents and i had no computer around me, all that time i found out he was again messing around with another girl, yeah i know it was online and it shoudlnt hit me, but me and him met online and loo so you never know, well it hurt me so much and i cried so hard So what I did was what i thought was a good idea, I change the password on his account and am not alowing him to get on gaia for a very long time, of course i called him up and told him about it, he said he understood, and i promsied I wouldnt take anything from him and i havent. I thought if i took away one way of cheating on me he wouldnt do it anymore, please tell me Did i do the right thing??

i must agree with the others
perhaps taking away gaia is a bit much

just so its clear
everyone could possible cheat
its no different the first time from the 100th time and all it means is that their needs are filled and that reflects upon the partner

all people are capable of doing wonderful things and being wonderful partners because we are all a function of the same elements
so this boy of yours is himself...nothing and everything both at the same time.

perhaps giving him back what is his and doing some bridge mending would be a good idea

he could be the one (maybe there are more idk)
perhaps you should do a bit of exploring yourself
maybe open the relationship up a bit

relationships are hard but have faith and trust in your partner
and remember your role is not of that of a parent but a supporter

Note: my last post was not directed at you but the box thing does happen  

[Seraph68]

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

I can't give up on him and i won't i believe that there is a good man in there and he know about it and he told me it was okay, and im not acting like a parent, im acting like a girlfriend who has been hurt

Sorry to be a grammar Nazi but punctuation helps keep things clear. For a moment I though that you said “I won’t believe…” when you were saying “… and I won’t. I believe…” It helps communicate a change in though or action.

~xXBlazing DesireXx~

im acting like a girlfriend who has been hurt

Was the point of this topic to seek the proper actions in this situation or to help you rationalize the actions you’ve already taken? (Rhetorical question, do not answer)

Let me ask a few questions to clear thing up for me (at least).
What did he do that you consider cheating?
What has HE done to correct his cheating?
Did you both agree that he should not be one Gaia BEFORE you changed his password?  

[missymisa]

dump him, if he's gonna cheat on you then he doesn't want to be with you, and why would you want to be with a cheater anyway?