[PRP] Toucha-Toucha--Toucha-Touch Me (Calder/Zar)

[Baneful]

Zar caught the charms out of the air one by one, the ones that skimmed past him quickly picked up as well. "I do not block you, you block yourself. You want me to just embrace you and hand you the key, the easy way into my friendship. There is no easy way. You either figure me out and figure out some way that you can be near me and not wound me or you simply deal with the fact that you will never be close to me at all, that we are in this stupid arrangement with nothing in common." Calder said he wanted Zar to like him, and the Incubus did not doubt that was the case, it was a favourable outcome, it was like wanting all the silver seeds in Halloween, you could want all you liked until you did something about it.

The tears did not soften him towards the kelpie, feeling bad hardly registered on his scale. He always felt bad, hurting other people's feelings when they deserved it only made him feel better.

The bowl was too much to catch and spilled all over the floor, followed by Zar's tail picking up as many as he could and transferring them deftly to the bowl again. In a perfect world they would be being used as something other than projectiles. "Stop throwing things you great big showpony!"

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder stopped throwing things because he really had nothing else to throw expect the cushions, but Zar was too quick to pick things up for Calder to feel as if he was making much progress. Throwing things was just his default becasue showing his emotions physically was just the way he was.

But Zar was telling him things, and he guessed he could agree to part of it. He just hated the idea of being together and not liking each other at all. It was the worst outcome, and he didn't want that to happen.

Still upset though, he knelt down and threw his face into the seat of the couch cushions, burying his face there. "I don't want thatttt." He whined, still hurt, upset, and still wishing things had gone better. They had been talking. His tail had been nice and Zar was telling him about his family. Then Zar just went and called him horrible and Calder tried so hard to explain what he meant but he always seemed to make him come off as some sort of villain.

"I wasn't doing things to make you hate me. I just do things." He said, voice muffled by the cushions.

He titled his chin enough to speak just a fraction more clearly. "I just thought you might want to be in my herd."  

[Baneful]

"Yes well sometimes the things you "just do" are actually pretty jacking awful. " Zar snapped, relaxing a little as Calder had finally stopped using the furniture as ammunition. He set the protection charms back on the table.

"And as generous and beneficent an offer as that is - " he drawled sarcastically. "I might actually forgo being the possession of someone who is an enormous, and pardon my language but, an enormous c**k almost all of the time."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder remained face-down in the couch seat.

Zar kept digging at one of the most tender parts of his being and while it upset him, it still deeply hurt him. That Calder's company was no good. That he was an awful person who deserved to be alone. That no one should like him. That he should never have friends. It played back to this childhood and Zar was diging it back up like a skeleton he long since tried to bury.

"Your a big d**k too." He said, giving a rather loud sniffle to try and clear his now runny nose.


"...but I'm sorry."

He just didn't know what things were jacking awful and he doubted Zar would tell him.


"Seems the only thing I'm good for for you is food. I just screw the rest up. Is there anything I even do good in your eyes?"  

[Baneful]

"I don't need food." he said. "I survive without it. It is a pleasantry and little else."

Moving back to the couch he gave Calder a critical look, slightly distant as his tail curled behind him. "I am glad you are sorry. That is a start" he said with a gracious smile.

"And you are good for some things. Sex, for instance. That is fairly useful." There were other things of course, a lot of things, Calder was a better person than Zar was. But he would not admit it out loud, not when he was breaking the Kelpie down and pulling him into line bit by bit.

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder turned his head, face flushed from crying and shouting at the same time. His ears had moved up only to hear Zar better, and he slowly slid down the couch to sit on the ground, looking up at Zar as he wiped his nose against the back of his sleeve.

"What else?" He asked.  

[Baneful]

"Oh that's about it, I suppose." Zar said flippantly, not about to get locked into a cycle of stroking a kelpies ego.

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder laid his head on the couch seat cushions again and frowned. "You said some things. That was just one." He pointed out

He was quiet now, feeling miserable again and now more worn than before. Maybe Zar had something in just being alone in your room.  

[Baneful]

"It is not my job to sit and pet you and tell you how wonderful you are." he said. "If you want to know those things, you should really earn them."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder thought about it a moment. He did want Zar to pet him. He did want Zar to tell him nice things, but he didn't know how he could get that sort of affection he wanted.

"And you are good for some things. Sex, for instance. That is fairly useful."

He slowly blinked and then sat up again, thinking. While Zar was an incubi, Calder was still a kelpie. He didn't have money, he wasn't as smart as most, and he couldn't win Zar over with treats since Zar didn't actually need them.

But he did admit one thing that he tolerated. While Zar said he wouldn't trust him enough to sleep with the kelpie, he did trust him enough to preform a physical action with him. At least in those points, it sorta felt like Zar liked him.

His eyes went over to the bowl of charms, and he got up, picking the bowl off the table. With one last sniffle, he pulled some loose hair behind him and then looked down at the Incubi. "Okay then. Then I'll just keep these for when I'm useful." Then maybe he could get some petting in some way or another.

He'd win that affection somehow, even if it was in only one way.  

[Baneful]

Zar gave Calder a quizzical look before it too narrowed into anger and irritation. "No. You aren't taking the only thing I have."

He held his hands up. "Just. Just... Just I don't know. I don't need to deal with you and you don't need to deal with me."

 

[MoonKitsune]

Calder leaned in and nuzzled Zar's cheek. "If that is the one thing I'm good at, then I'll be good at it for you." He whispered, his voice soft yet sad.

He stood up straight, his hoof-falls heavy as he made his way to the stairs that lead to the rooms with the bowl in hand.

"I'll be around if you need me.....for anything."  

[Baneful]

The contact would provide Calder with a very brief snapshot of emotion that was anything but composed and cruel, a swirl of ill defined heartache and helplessness mingled with sadness and self loathing, none of it clear enough to make any meaning or direction from. And then it was gone.

Zar watched Calder go before just sighing heavily and flopping back on the couch. He flicked his tongue without thinking about it, the air tasted like Barth and Calder both.

"I should have stayed at school." he said to no one.