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Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:27 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:52 am
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Posted: Fri Dec 15, 2017 7:09 am
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Melvin felt guilty being privy to what Mik was saying, musing out loud without a need to be overly cute and on display. Instead, he was somber and thoughtful, analyzing and yet lost. So much was just trying to justify his father while also aware of the evidence of how selfish Lawr could be. Mik had suffered so much, losing his family, his sister, reuniting with Malk and meeting his father again only to be beratted at any chance.
While he didn't want to be a father to replace the gap's Lawr didn't feel, he wished he could at leaat be there for him. But he failed him, selfishly wanting him without knowing him. He ruined it, so being Self wasn't a bad middle ground. It gave Mik something to believe in.
He moved over, moving to his hand and, despite wondering avout where said hand had been, licked the back if it and nodded. He knew too well what loving something too much did. Moving over, he moved onto Mik's chest to lay there. He would have to leave soon sadly.
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:20 pm
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Mikael breathed slowly and patiently, lost in thought as he just enjoyed the warm fuzzy creature nestled on his chest. He didn't say anything for a bit, before seeming to pick up from some other thread.
"It's nice having someone to listen, someone who isn't like, biased. Malkam hates dad, dad listens but sometimes he'll use things you say against you later. I tend not to say much to anyone because so much of what I think all the time is wrong. Dad understands, he knows how it feels to be outside of everything, like someone who doesn't talk the same language and has to just pretend they know what people are saying."
"I get so lonely sometimes." he said. "I love Malkam, he's the best, but at the same time I just don't feel like I talk to people. I've always got to be..I've got to be someone they'll love and protect. I don't want them to get mad at me, to be disappointed when I'm too smart or too .... too everything that isn't what they want. I guess you are a rabbit, you don't need to worry about not being cute enough. For me I just..I get older and taller and less lovable all the time. I just want to be cute. I don't want to take advantage of people like dad does. I don't want their money or anything. I just want their care."
"But no one wants to take care of an adult."
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Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:45 pm
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The act. Melvin had seen it. Melvin had called BS when he caught Mik doing it. Back on the island, during the truth ring, he had jabbed at that mask a few times, tired of seeing it and hurt that Mik would turn it around on him. It felt like a lie to him, a manipulation, and took much like his father that it had made him upset and spiteful.
He knew Mik wanted more, was more confident, and had a mind behind the passing little tweets and playful caricature that he had created. It worried Melvin at times - a personalty that at least didn't have a name but served a role. A purpose. A goal and fake facade.
But it wasn't as extreme as Lawr - or at least not yet.
His desires weren't an alien one. To be loved and protected, and to not be given up when someone cuter, younger, or more appealing came around. It was one he felt too much, even more being in this house. It was heartache you wanted to avoid at all costs. While he didn't want to make a persona in order to directly steal or manipulate people, it was a want to at least be kept.
If he loved something, his dad took it away or focused on it. If he acted himself, he wouldn't be loved or protected. It was a pit of spikes at all angles.
And in this house, age was a villain. Had Mik felt that way himself, or had Lawr had a hand in it. That older meant he was on a timeline for that love, for that opportunity?
Melvin moved closer to Mik's face, moving his head against his cheek to gently rub it up and down in whatever a rabbit could do to convey that things were okay. That he was here. That he wished he could say that things weren't that way.
But he wasn't sure if he tried talking, if it would work, and even worse, if his voice would be recognizable and make Mik want to snap his neck. Yet, as he did it, he felt guilt. He hadn't really focused on Mik, self absorbed in his own drama and loving Lawr too hard. He had his family and he felt that, with their protection and focused desire to keep him away from him and make sure he was safe, that that would be what was best for him. That would make Mik happy. That would make their family happy, but in the shell they created, Mik was dissatisfied and wanting. Missing something. For all the cute times posters, for all the want for something temporary, it sounded to Melvin that he wasn't someone that was just there.
Would he even want him now? Just to be there? But he couldn't give him more? He was forbidden. He still was friends with his father. A ex-lover. A man who had been there just to spend a fleeting few nights with him. Months of little interaction between them. And he was dating Nash now. Not able to give that much of himself. Not to this family. But could he be a friend at least? Was he even that?
No. He was a terrible friend. A terrible person. A bad thing against Mik and his life. But maybe as Self, he could be something. Maybe he could help in some way.
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