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 Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 6:35 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:02 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 7:15 pm
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Hogosha neko Meister_Solstice Hogosha neko Im always willing to help in any way I can and am always up for a good talk, PM me if you feel the need to :3 we can just talk here i guess I should trust the guild n i do Well then whats going on?
Well seeing as everyone wants to help ill just bring it out right now. Well my friend died about a 4 days ago and i felt it was my fault cause i couldnt save prevent her from hurting herself so i feel it was my fault and on top of that people been bullying me left and right at school for wearing my fox ears and tail, just i feel lost and hurt that everyone hates me well besides myy gf vivi (violet.) just i feel im a bad omen anyone im around ends up dying it seems and until violet n i started dating i kept thinking about suicide... i just hate that even my parents disaprove of me... |
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:59 am
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I hate when I can't be gentle, but I can't make myself give what you want to hear rather than what you need to hear. You also weren't very specific with a lot of what troubles you, perhaps I'm going off on a wrong limb here. But things like:
* Why were you thinking of suicide? Was it the bullying?
* How long has the bullying been going on to begin with and are there other reasons besides you wore/wear your furry attire?
* How often are you wearing this furry attire in public?
* What do your parents disapprove of you on/for?
: need clarifying.
First of all, I know what you are going through about death. Everyone around me dies horribily and I still tread on careful waters when I make friends because there's that little thought in my head that death is following on my heels. There's always the "I could have done that--" or "I should have done this--", but there's no changing the past. It's not meant to change. We could all scream at you that it's not your fault, and honestly, it just isn't.
Let me put on my Spock ears for a second...
"That would be highly illogical."
You are only responsible if you downright intentionally murder them, which obviously, is not the case. Along my road, as I've come to believe in fate from their deaths, that every great event serves a purpose to teach others a lesson in something. It may not even be for you even though you are also affected, but when you see its outcome you realize why they died and why, heaven forbid, that it was meant to be even if it was horrible, even if they were tortured.
As for ears and tail, I don't know how often you do this, but that isn't the brightest idea to begin with. This is the problem with the new generation of furries out there, they don't "Furry Responsibly." If you know you are in a harmful place that possibly may have harmful/violent tendancies towards furries then why set yourself in harms way? Especially at a school of any kind, that's asking for fursecution right there. (If you're in middle school, that's 15x worst, to come out as furry there is... I can't even imagine.)
Did you ever consider that walking around in your furry attire makes it seem like you are "shoving the fact you are a furry down everyone's throat in an obnoxious manner" they may think you are explicitly trying to get them to react to your presence, and that is most likely not going to be the nice way. Doesn't matter how old, or who anyone is, including yourself, it is just going to look like you're pining for attention. It's the same idea as a flamboyaunt gay being ridiculously flamboyaunt rather than just acting human who just happens to love other men, but no one needs to know because its not their business. There's no such things as "I'm the specific species called 'f**/Furry' so I have these instincts that make me act/dress weird so get over it." We may want attention, but there are healthier, and far more safer ways of going about it and we all want to show just how goodnatured furries actually are, but we have to do so carefully.
To Furry Responsibly you should always know your crowd, know the layout of where you plan to out yourself for possible escape routes, know where the authorities are, and the most important rule for every furry: "Never furry alone in public."
But there I go, going off in a direction that may not even be worth it. I should stop typing. >_>
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:33 pm
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 4:32 pm
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Meister_Solstice Hogosha neko Meister_Solstice Hogosha neko Im always willing to help in any way I can and am always up for a good talk, PM me if you feel the need to :3 we can just talk here i guess I should trust the guild n i do Well then whats going on? Well seeing as everyone wants to help ill just bring it out right now. Well my friend died about a 4 days ago and i felt it was my fault cause i couldnt save prevent her from hurting herself so i feel it was my fault and on top of that people been bullying me left and right at school for wearing my fox ears and tail, just i feel lost and hurt that everyone hates me well besides myy gf vivi (violet.) just i feel im a bad omen anyone im around ends up dying it seems and until violet n i started dating i kept thinking about suicide... i just hate that even my parents disaprove of me...
Alright, just because you couldn't save her from doing something immensely stupid does not in ANY WAY make it your fault. You can cannot control peoples actions, you can only influence them. You said you did what you could and that counts, blaming yourself is only going to make you feel like s**t.
Here is what I have to say about the ears and the tail. If your not capable of taking the teasing and stuff about them at school then don't wear them, and if you choose to wear them you have to be prepared to NOT GIVE A ******** what people think otherwise your just going to end up bringing allot of hurt on yourself. The fact of the matter is wearing things like a tail and ears to school is not normal in any way and is most relatable to wearing a costume, so unless your prepared to deal with the reactions to it then your really just asking for it. Your in school, kids are hateful and judgmental, the sooner you realize that the easier things will become. When I was in school I wore cloths that were not seen, painted my nails, and was constantly taken as being gay even though im strait. When someone would come up to me asking why, I would just ask back why not? You have to learn to not care what people think or your going to get hurt.
No, not everyone hates you. They are just being judgmental and you are just being to negative about it. They don't understand what they see so they take a disliking to it, it doesn't mean they hate you.
You are not a "bad omen" and not all of the people around you die, you just choose to view things in that way, you seem to be negative person and you need to stop with it. The more negative you are the less happy and more depressed. How do I know? Experience. Stop looking at all the bad and focus on what good you have. You have no reason to be thinking about suicide and doing so is very stupid and ignorant of you.
Your parents probably don't truly disprove of you, they more than likely just worry because lets face it, your not exactly a normal kid. Also the fact of the matter is most parents will never understand their children and have trouble with them. You can either figure out how to help them be more understanding and such or you can deal with it and hold out until your on your own. Quit looking down and get yourself together. your better than the way your taking things. |
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2012 5:28 pm
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Definately agreeing with Hogosha neko here. You're taking everything negatively, and you have good reason to, but you're forgetting that whole other side of the strawberry that has chocolate on it! And you're missing it! Eat the whole strawberry of Life before you judge it's flavor.
Your parents love you, else they wouldn't keep you around, they are just confused about you. And while we are cheering on "Be Tough! Don't give a f**k!" playing the "I don't give a f**k what you think" is not the best move in this area. If you live with them, just play the "human card" until you're out, and keep your religion private. Not so much as normal as it is just keeping what they are scared of reserved and out of their way. It hurts you can't be yourself, but it hurts more when they don't accept that part of you. Sometimes keeping them in the dark is the best thing. *I've been doing this for the 5-6 years I've been stuck in my parents home, I even take a seperate outfit/accessories to change into once I've left the house. And it is a PAIN to pull out all my religious materials out of their hiding places just for a few simple prayers before rehiding them. It seems silly, but it keeps both of us happy, and that in itself is worth it.
( then there's also the case that some parents are just total dicks- if that ends up being the case after you've done all you can... sucks to be you. Just live it out - till you're out. )
As for suicide? Why are you caring about who would miss you? You're not immortal, the people that remember you aren't either so you're going to be forgotten sooner or later. Suicide is where you are making a selfish move with your life, so you should only think selfishly.
By hell I'll never understand how people want to waste their already short lives over something like emotions. I've been there, and I realized I could die for something far greater, I could die a hero! Hell drag me down before I leave this world like a p***y! Don't get me wrong, I look forward to death, I believe it to be the grandest of adventures. But I'll take that quest when I GET there because it's not a path that if you get lost that you can retrack your steps back on. I hope you drill that last bit into your head.
Life is worth living for, simply because it's life. I dare you to live and show everyone that doesn't believe in you just how sucessful you can be, whether it be in family, your friendship ties, by your job, or simply by the inner you. Make them envy you, make them feel sorry for ever doubting you, make them see that the type of person you are is okay to be.
I
DARE
YOU
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Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:04 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2012 7:15 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2013 4:52 am
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Meister_Solstice im a senior in highschool I dont want attention... reasons for suicide: parents dont really appreciate me even though i try my hardest in everything even in school when i get straight A's its like the dont even care. they say im a disgrace to our family because of my preferences,attire and religion. and on top of that i feel like no one would care if i did so why shouldnt i. i ask myself who would miss me and i can onlythink up of one nname. The bullying has gone on for about 3 years and it was happening before the furry atire it happened when a girl stood up for me when in my speech in debate class i did a case on "gay-rights" and everybody started laughing and went on hashing out the comments and after that when the girl stood up for me it spread like wildfire ive only worn it like 4 times in the past 6 months but once they saw me they didnt let it go.
Aw...Its ok...
But i apologize for these falling walls of texts;
Quote: - parents dont really appreciate me
This is never true. Your parents probably care for you alot. They just don't show it at times to make you tougher.
Quote: -im a disgrace to our family because of my preferences,attire and religion
Well...I'm sure everyone has these problems with their parents...Don't feel that bad about them...I had some troubles, they soon fixed themselves...But if you need help, i'll be willing to lend a hand.
Quote: -i ask myself who would miss me and i can onlythink up of one nname.
You can make that two. I could be well one of the people that'd miss you; In fact, i felt that way before...But i realized that it's just my mind playing games with me. Life is a gift; Don't give it up.
Quote: -The bullying has gone on for about 3 years
I've been bullied...Don't give up...I didn't, and i'm still alive. Bullying is a cry for help, because they only target individuals with different traits.
Quote: - it was happening before the furry atire it happened when a girl stood up for me when in my speech in debate class i did a case on "gay-rights" and everybody started laughing and went on hashing out the comments and after that when the girl stood up for me it spread like wildfire
Eventually, a wildfire in even the most overgrown forest must wither and die just like that it has burnt. |
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