I will hear everying you want to say Gariean x Eshkol

[jinxgirl5]

Kol blinked. Now that the male mentioned it, he did seem to give off a really sweet smell. Kol hadn’t been paying that much attention to be honest, wrapped up in his own little pity-party and trying to be polite when all he’d really felt was listless and dull inside. “I hadn’t noticed,” he confessed to Gariean, inhaling some of the scent. It wasn’t like anything he’d smelled in nature before; more like something that would have come from Reisa’s world, though at the time he’d been more concerned with getting out of the city than examining its various smells.

The thought of Reisa sent a pang through him, and he tried to firmly stomp of that part of his mind before a new wave of self-pity coursed through him.

“It doesn’t smell like anything I’ve ever encountered before. It does seem stronger than most scents, though pleasant,” he commented. His own smell was pretty close to his body, a kind of spicy-sweet musk like a peppery vanilla.  

[Reoakee]

Gariean wasn’t sure if that made him happy or not. He knew that other foxes noticed his scent first, but maybe he wasn’t worth noticing to this fox. Still the compliment the male gave him did pick up Gari’s pride just a bit. He really didn’t know why though. He felt like he should repay the compliment somehow he rubbed his paws in the dirt for a moment before deciding. “um. Thanks.” He looked at Kol shyly. “um this may seem odd but I promise I won’t hurt you.” He leaned forward with his eyes closed and delicately took a few sniffs. Leaning back he opened his eyes and gave Kol a weak smile. “You smell pretty good too, it’s not as overwhelming as mine but it’s really nice.” He didn’t really want to say more but Kol’s scent was near intoxicating to him. The purple male in front of him might not have had much luck with love but Gari didn’t see why not, so far he hadn’t seen or heard anything wrong with him. It made Gari want to hold Kol to make him feel better.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Kol gave Gari a little smile that was a mixture of grateful graciousness, flustered shyness, and melancholy. It was nice to get a compliment, of course, but it brought up the shadow of not-so-pleasant memories. Despite Gari’s testament that he was having troubles finding love himself, it sounded like it was merely a confidence issue and not a case of attempts that started out promising and ended up failing. Kol sincerely hoped he never had to deal with any of those; tiny wounds they might be, but even the tiniest wound could be painful and would burn when salt was rubbed into it.

Not that he thought Gari was trying to do that, not at all!

Geez, there was a limit on how depressed one could get before it became pathetic, and Kol was reaching that limit.

“So-,” he asked, trying to change the subject for both of them, “-what brings you around to these parts. Do you live here, or just traveling?”  

[Reoakee]

Gari had no idea what to make of the smile he had received but he was happy get it. “I’m just traveling. I don’t have a place to live myself.” He had a place but it had been very close to someone who had started flirting with him which made Gari happy, until the other fox found a mate, then just staying there had become a constant reminder that he wasn’t good enough. “I know really know where I’m headed either but I keep going anyway.” More dirt was turned up with his paws. He didn’t have a goal in life or a place to belong. How sad was that? Still it wasn’t all bad, since had he just given up like he thought about he never would have met Kol.

He looked at Kol. “What about you? Are you traveling for fun or to get somewhere?” He looked behind himself before back to Kol. “I-if I’m holding you up I can walk and talk if you want to keep going.” He really hoped he wasn’t holding the other male up from anything.

 

[jinxgirl5]

Kol shook his head, cutting off Gari’s worry with assurance before the worry could escalate. “I’m wandering to nowhere in particular myself,” he said, casting a glance over and beyond the slopping hills. “I’ve always been something of a wanderer. My parents live with a tribe bordered by a forest, some mountains, and coastline, which is where I was born, but wandering seems to be more common among my family than settling.”

Indeed, a good portion of his siblings, nephews, and nieces were wanders. Those that weren’t lived together in the tribe. Kol hadn’t been back to visit them in so long that he had no notion if the tribe still existed any more, or if it did whether or not his family were still a part of it.

Part of him, that melancholy part that just wouldn’t shut up, often inserted could-have, might-have, what-if scenarios into his head. If he’d stayed with his family and his tribe, what would have become of him? Maybe he’d have a deeper relationship with his family. Maybe he’d even have found someone to love and could have happily settled down. Deities knew there were more than enough couples in that tribe that love was a common refrain.

It would have been the ultimate irony, had that been the case, because it had been all the paired up, older couples that had sent Kol out looking for new faces and adventure in the first place. There was no way of knowing if his life truly would have been better if he’d have stayed, but vague worries needed no proof in order to plague him.  

[Reoakee]

Kol seemed so cool! Gari wanted to be like that in some ways. “Well with so much land around you that was all different like that I’m not surprised you wanted to see more of the world and what else could be in it. Besides with some there in the tribe you could always go back and visit and see how things go.” Gari’s tail wagged excited. “You get to travel and meet all kinds of people that you can tell them about. They can tell you what goes on in tribe life so this way you always have something to talk about and share. I think it’s wonderful you have others you can do that with.” Gari kept rambling not wanting to let on how alone he really was and how he wished he had a family that was big enough to have those who traveled and those who stayed behind. “and maybe you’ll meet other family members who travel. Then you could swap stories then and maybe travel together for a ways. It seems like you have so much that could happen. I just get lost and never really know where I’ve been or where I’m going.” He gave a little smile that was only half forced.
 

[jinxgirl5]

Kol turned over Geri’s words in his mind. He’d never really looked at it that way before. Maybe because he hadn’t ever visited home after he first left. But it was true, there were probably plenty of stories that he could swap around if he ever did find his way home to visit. Cam would practically force him to relate some stories at the least, since that was both her job and chief interest.

“I suppose that’s one way of looking at it,” he finally said slowly, giving Geri a small, warm smile. Then he sighed, and the smile was gone. “Still. The life of a lone traveler is just so….lonely. When I first started out it didn’t seem so bad. Got to do what I wanted when I wanted and was responsible for only myself. Now I just notice how quiet it is, and how things don’t seem as amazing as they could be without someone around to share it with.”  

[Reoakee]

That nice warm smile was one Geri relished in; it was almost heartbreaking how fast it fled. A whimper built at the back of Geri’s throat but he held it in check. He had a solution spring to mind but didn’t want to force anything on Kol. “Well who says that you have to travel alone? I’m sure you meet a bunch of interesting foxes in the world who also travel. Why not travel together if even for a while. Then you could swap stories with them. And if they came with you to your tribe they would have more stories or maybe stay. Even if they didn’t they could go elsewhere and tell those stories of their time with the tribe and with you. If you’re traveling with others you can sing or laugh. Even the silence might not be as bad then.” Geri smiled wondering if he had traveled with a few of the males that he had crushes on how very different his life would be now. Perhaps better, perhaps worse. He would never know.
 

[jinxgirl5]

“Well I’m not actually part of a tribe myself,” Kol gently corrected. “I was born into a gathering of foxes that consider themselves a tribe, but they haven’t gotten official recognition as one yet.” He smiled a little sadly. “It probably doesn’t help their cause that so many of us seem to turn into wanderers. Who knows, I might one day go back there to settle down when traveling wears out my soul.”

A small chuckle suddenly escaped Kol’s mouth. “You sound like one of the people from the tribe. Our story-teller. She had the same way of painting pictures with words like you do.” He tilted his head and gave Geri a curious look. “It sounds like you have some experience in the matter. Have you ever traveled with anyone before yourself?”

It did sound like a nice proposition, finding someone to travel with, but as Kol had come to find out a lot of foxes were content with settling down and making homes of their own. Even if he did find someone, the prospect of them one day leaving and him having to go back to being alone again just sounded depressing. And maybe it was only a worst-case scenario, but apparently gloom was hard-wired into his brain for today.  

[Reoakee]

Shrugging he didn’t really think it mattered to much if Kol was a part of the tribe or not. It was his family if he ever wanted them and that was the main thing. Kol always had something to go back to whether he realized it or not. “I suppose so but give them time and if enough return I’m sure you’ll be a great tribe.” He smiled and blushed a bit embarrassed it was perhaps one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to him. “T-thank you. I don’t know about that but I think it sounds really nice.” His smile faded a bit but didn’t disappear. “No not really. I suppose I could of but the ones I would have traveled with well left me behind. I guess I’m not worth keeping around.” He laughed keeping things light by making a joke of it. No need to bother Kol with his failings. The male had already done so much to cheer him up. Kol was so nice and kind Geri couldn’t just let it all go to waste by becoming sad and depressing Kol again.

“Still I bet when you find someone to travel with you’ll have a great time. You’re a very fun fox Kol.” Smiling at the male he hoped from the bottom of his heart that Kol found someone to make him happy. Geri was attracted to him sure but Kol was the kind of fox that deserved true and complete happiness.

 

[jinxgirl5]

Kol actually laughed at that; it just sounded too ridiculous to him. “Me, a fun guy? Maybe I used to be, though that’s subjective to opinion, but lately I’ve been just one big, giant ball of moping purple fur. There’s certainly not much fun about me going on at this moment.”

Sure he might not be doing more than flirt with the occasional grump of depression, but he still was not a happy person to be around right now. Folks who knew him would probably be surprised at how quiet he’d become compared to how he had been.

“I don’t know why people wouldn’t want to travel with you, though. You’re a very nice and caring person, especially to stop and talk with a stranger and attempt to cheer them up. If someone thinks you’re not worth keeping around they don’t deserve to have a friend like you with them anyway.” For some reason Kol felt a stirring of defense indignation on Gari’s behalf.  

[Reoakee]

Nodding confident to Kol’s question he shook his head as the male continued down the self deprecating tirade. “Well I don’t think you’re moping. At least you can laugh and smile. I think that counts for something right?” The look he gave Kol was somewhere between asking and stating.

The rest of the males words made him blush deeply enough that it shown in his fur. “T-Thanks.” He looked down and fidgeted, he really should tell Kol more. He deserved that much. “It wasn’t so much friend as it was ah ..” He really didn’t want to say it because it was embarrassing but he was bound and determined to tell Kol. “Boyfriend. They had their reasons not to want me around.” He didn’t want Kol to think bad of those others who had rejected Gari or left him behind. After all they had been just playing or just teasing. It wasn’t like they knew they had been breaking into his heart like a storm and leaving chaos in their wake.  

[jinxgirl5]

"Oh." That was about the most intelligent thing he could manage for the moment as he sat there, slightly taken aback. Not that Gari was bi, or even gay, as the case might be. Even if he was traditionally straight it wasn't like he was prejudiced against who loved differently. No, his surprise was more from the sudden insight into Gari's situation and going back over their conversation to realize it put a lot more context and questions in Kol's head.

For instance, were Gari's blushes because he was shy at receiving compliments, or because Kol was the one giving them to him? Or both? Had some of his words been unwittingly leading the male on? He didn't think so, but it sounded like Gari's pain was a lot more similar to what Kol was going through than he'd previously imagined, and he didn't want to add himself to the list of things going wrong in someone else's life.

"I see." Kol coughed, blushing a little in embarrassment and self-awareness, and tried to get his brain going again. "Well I can empathize with the feeling of being left behind by those you had an interest in. Nonetheless, my words still stand. Unless you were completely incompatible with your...er, boyfriends, it was their loss to leave behind a nice and caring person." Already flushing from his slight fumble, Kol realized some of his sentence could be taken as a double-meaning. "Personality-wise, I meant," he hastened to add. "Incompatible personality-wise. Though I suppose physically that would also-," he clamped his mouth shut and tried to halt his tirade of babbling while he was still ahead. Already he felt like his fur was more red than purple; any more blushing and he might spontaneously combust!  

[Reoakee]

And there it was. That shocked tone that Gari had known would be coming. It hurt even if he had been expecting it. Next would come the thought back over it all and finally the polite but firm rejection of his presence. At least Kol hadn’t started off by kissing him. That male had broken Gari’s heart more than he cared to admit. Being toyed with was not Gari’s idea of a good time and being dallied with when the other fox already had a mate was just cutting.

Kol’s words surprised him. They were sweet and king. It was clear that Kol was still trying to be nice to him. Probbubly to make his leaving easier but it still touched Gari. His tail wagged as the male floundered for words. He didn’t mean to but his next words were something of a tease. “You’ll find that most bodies are compatible if creative enough.” Still he smiled gently. “Thank you Kol. You’re so nice I bet you will make someone a very happy mate one day.” He reached a paw forward gently and patted Kol’s paw. It wasn’t an invasive gesture just one on that Gari tried to use to make sure Kol understood that his intentions had been received even if the delivery was a bit awkward. The next part would really hurt but Gari tried to steal himself so that he wouldn’t end up crying later. “You know you don’t have to be around me if it makes you uncomfortable. I can just leave.” He looked around and scooted back a bit to give Kol a bit more space. Kol was a very kind fox Gari knew his words of reassurance before were completely on the spot he could just see Kol in the future traveling with a mate and a few happy children going to his home ‘tribe’ and sharing all kinds of stories. It was a life Gari really hoped would happen for Kol. Anyone who could be so kind to someone as hopeless as Gari deserved the greatest happiness.

 

[jinxgirl5]

Apparently the Deities weren't kind enough to just let Kol spontaneously combust. Maybe they were afraid Gari was too close and would get injured if Kol went up in a gout of flames, which was a valid enough point. It was still little comfort for the embarrassed part of his brain, which was still valiantly trying to suicide itself by cooking itself with the power of blushing.

It was laughably ironic; a year ago, it would have been him making pervy or flirtatious remarks. He supposed he really did set himself up for that one, though.

And, unfortunately, his mouth wasn't finished babbling.

"Oh, no! No no no no! That's not what I meant!" Kol fidgeted, a step away from actually getting up and pacing to shed some of his nervous energy. His social skills really needed more work. "I've got nothing against same-sex relationships," he finally managed to clarify, "There was a male couple in my tribe. I mean I never talked to them cause I was little and doing kit stuff, and it was a long time ago, but it's not...it doesn't..."

Kol flashed Gari a look that was a combination of pitiful and 'I'm smart, really'.

"You just caught me by surprise, that's all. And then I started to worry if maybe I was unintentionally doing something that might have been considered flirting or..." Kol hung his head and pawed at it in frustration. Gah! Could he sound any more self-centered?! If the Deities cared about him at all, please send down self-combustion! He already had enough heat from the force of his blush that he should probably be smoking a little already!